Experimentation

A week has passed ever since my “fainting in the cafeteria” incident but it becomes old news along with my return. It’s strange on how fast people can get over the little things, although it depends on one’s definition of a small thing. A papercut could be a small thing to someone but major to others, same as a car crash or death. Small things rest in the mind of the beholder, a lesson I learned in my time locked away. My thoughts drifted on and on about the small things, like the journal I used to keep in the asylum until I felt a tap on my shoulder, I turn my head to see Mona. I gave her a gentle smile before looking down at her hands and seeing she has a plastic bag that says happy birthday on it. “ What is this?” jokingly I whispered out. Mona sits down next to me and hands me the bag, “I know today is your birthday. You can’t hide it, I saw it in the office yesterday and I knew I had to get you a gift for being my best friend in this dreadful place. October 13th was an unlucky day in my mind but since it was the day you were born then its one of the greatest days. I know you may not like presents but I saw this and thought of you-” Before she could continue on I placed my hand on her shoulder causing her to stop and look at me. “I wasn’t trying to hide it but I just don’t celebrate my birthday anymore but if birthdays mean something to you then we can do something after school today to celebrate, okay?” Mona’s smile grows as I begin to say we should go and do something on my birthday, she grabs my arm and lets out a girly squeal. “Are you serious?” Mona couldn’t hold her excitement as I nod my head slowly.

She begins to gesture to the bag which I have resting beside me, she wants to watch me open it. I place the bag on my lap and began to open it slowly, golden tissue spilling out of the top mixed in with bits of silver. I reach into the golden cave and feel a tiny chunk of metal touch my hand, I gently pull the metal out and let it rest in my hand. I glance at it to see its a ring, a golden band with a jade center with a rope pattern surrounding it. I look at Mona in shock as I allow my electricity run through the band to see if its real metal, “Mona, is this real gold?” I mumble out. Mona nods her head and gently grabs my wrist, “I got this because I know you deserve it plus it was my stepmom’s and I don’t like her, therefore, you get a new ring.” I chuckle as the hate rises in her eyes, she doesn’t know what true hate is like. That burning desire to make them miserable after all the pain and heartbreak they caused you, but I have to let it go. Edwin is dead, out of my life forever and I need to live a life free from the dark dungeon known as my past.

“Do you like it? I can get you something else.” I put the ring on my right ring finger and smile. “I love it Mona. It’s an amazing gift plus it matches my necklace.” I say as I pull the necklace once resting on my chest out from inside my shirt. A gold locket with I & C carved onto it, I smile as I squeeze it in between my fingers letting the memories of my childhood flood in. My other necklace fell out of my shirt, a silver carved K. “Wow, I’ve never seen you wear this before. Where did you get it?” Mona exclaims at me, hyper little thing. “Well since you are my friend-” Mona cuts me off by giving me the evil eye at friend, letting out a laugh I continue. “My best friend, but as I was saying that this story is to stay between us. I don’t need this backlashing okay?” I start to transform my voice into a whisper as she nods her head. “Well, I was given this by my previous best friend, Cade Matthews.” Her face dropped as I said that, she begins to move her mouth as if she’s trying to find words. “Let me speak, I’ll take your questions at the end.” She nods her head and shuts her mouth. “We grew up next to each other and ever since Kindergarten we were best friends until my ‘death wish’ accord” pointing to the scars at my wrist. “Though that’s a story for another time. When we were about to enter middle school together, we were worried we would lose each other as friends. One day over the summer Cade came over so we could go to the community pool, the one down my street and before he left he handed me a blue cardboard box. I was so confused on what it was, a first I thought it was like a sticky bomb because we had just finished out prank war at the time and I thought it was his neutral prank. I had forced the box back into his hand and simple said open it in a harsh tone, again at the time I didn’t know what it was at the time. He opened the box and handed it back to me with a sad look in his eyes, and mind you.” I pause for a quick breath. “That we had just finished up the 6th grade and I had known him for years since then. Once I saw his face I felt awful for making him sad, then I reached in the box and pulled out the locket. I was memorized by it, I was not the most rich person like Cade so the necklace looked like it belonged on display. I didn’t have any words and I heard Cade say “This necklace is a gift for you. My mom and I picked it out and got our first named carved in it, I want you to wear it everyday so that if we are ever torn apart that you can remember the good times between us. If you open it you’d find a picture of You, your mom, and me from the diner a few weeks ago, I hope you like it.” and then I just hugged him. We held there for a good minute before I gently kissed his cheek and asked him to put it on for me.” As I finish the story, Mona just smiles but her eyes begin to fill with confusion. “What?” I whisper to her, laughing a little trying to break the awkward silence. “If you guys aren’t friends anymore then why do you still wear it?” Mona mutters out why looking away, not wanting to look me in the eye. “I wear it for multiple reasons. 1. Because it’s gold and I love gold. 2. It has a picture of my mom in it when she was happy and 3. Because he did mean a lot to me before the downfall between us. I mean maybe its stupid to still be holding onto that part of my past but it was a happy time and when I had been in the hands of the most ev- I mean when I was in the hands of doctors that helped save my life that I held onto that small part of happiness that I felt. Maybe why I hide it in my shirt, I want it close but not out there for everyone to see.” I say softly opening up to Mona for the first time since I met her, reminds me of Trina. They both were able to open me up to them in a short amount of time, I smile at Mona and stand up as the lunch bell rings. “Come on, we have coding to go to.” I stand up ready to walk away. “Wait, what about your other necklace? The K?” My breath stops before I turn my head slowly. “Its a story for another time.” Turning harshly away from Mona and heading towards class.

When I get home this afternoon I will come home to an empty house, Sarah at work and Anthony at school. The quiet is a peaceful thing but after my experience in Malignant Asylum, it has made me become wary of the silence. Walking in the silent house I plop down on the smooth leather couch that rests in the living room, my body sinks in relaxing in the couch’s coolness. My eyes begin to get droopy when my cell phone rings startling me from a potential nap. “Hello?” I mumble into the phone, letting the tiredness slip through in my voice. “Isa, were you sleeping?” Sarah’s voice fills my ears, I nod my head. “You do realize that I can’t see you right?” Sarah whispers from the phone, why is she so quiet? “Yeah, I realize that. What do you want?” The phone remains silent, my body begins to have a mind of its own and moves of the couch and into the kitchen. “Hello?” whispering softly into the phone. “Yeah I’m sorry, I just lost my train of thought there Iris. I was going to say one Happy Birthday, sorry I had to run out early today for work. Two, do you want to do something for your birthday? You haven’t celebrated it since before Mom had…” The phone fills with silence again. A feeling of deja vu begins to wash over me as I know why she was hastening. “Died?” my voice comes out calmly, more so then I expect for myself when it comes to her. “Yeah and I remember how much you used to love doing stuff on your birthday. I’m getting home at 9 tonight, maybe we can get ice cream cake and watch a movie? I recently got the movie called The Last Letter and I heard it was pretty good. Its even based off a book by that author you like so much. What do you say?” Her voice holds desperation, almost yearning for me to say yes. I move my head in a nodding motion before I realize that she can’t see me. I got to stop doing that. “Yes, I know that Anthony is going to be at his boy scout meeting till 6 and there is an after party till 8. Is it okay if I can go out until 7:30 with my friend Mona? She was the girl that was in the nurse’s office with me.” The doorbell begins to ring as I can hear my sister softly say yes. “I gotta go, I think Mona is here. Bye.” Before I let her respond I quickly hit the end button. I touch the counter and my bolts starting to act up, not now please not now. My heart speeds ups as the doorbell ring again, I slowly move towards the door trying to keep the lighting inside. “Who is it?” Yelling at the door, avoiding the knob. After waiting a few seconds with no response I slowly reach for the metal knob afraid for the aftermath if someone is on the other side. Slowly, I grip the knob and twist it slowly letting the sparks flow out into the metal, after moving the door towards being a slight bit I look out to see no one there. I open the door fully and peer around my yard, I quickly look down on the mat in front of me. A box wrapped in light pink paper with a white bow was placed there on the ground, its small possibly enough to fit in my hand. Picking it up in my hand allows this familiar sensation to arise, when I was in the asylum Katrina had left me gifts this way. In front of my door without anyone in sight, I miss her. I don’t know how long I’ve been standing in this spot but all I can do is think of Katrina. Her soft blonde hair, sparkling blue eyes, her wonderful smile, I miss her. The feeling of sudden wetness on my cheek breaks me from my compulsion of Katrina, I’m crying. My feet begin to move on their own into the house and swiftly kicks the door behind me shut, I gently place the box on the table beside the door and glare at it.

The ribbon smoothe and red, tied gently in a simple bow. The box itself is not wrapped, a white box able to be opened by pulling off the top. I lightly place my finger on the ribbon’s end and tug it off the box, letting it fall on the floor. I grab the box and hold it in my hand close to my chest, breathing softly on the box getting an aroma of roses. I slowly move the lid off to reveal silver tissue paper, why silver? My lack of patience got the best of me, I placed two fingers on the paper and ripped it off to reveal a locket. The locket has a rose carved onto its lid, the outer rim crusted with diamonds. I let my hand find its way around the locket’s side and gently opened the locket up, the lid had “White Gold is my Gift to you, for you are more valuable than gold itself.” Oh, the necklace isn’t sliver, who would have known that I loved gold? My mind jumps from three people but ended on a 4th, Mona. Why would she buy me another gift when the one she had already got me looks worth thousands? I’m going to kill her. My mind focused completely on Mona’s gift that I had forgotten to look at the picture on the other side. When my eyes finally looked back at the locket, I had lost my breath all together. The picture wasn’t of Mona and me, it was of my mom and me. How did anyone get this picture? I had it locked up in my closet for a reason, I couldn’t look at her face without losing control. My body fills with energy, letting the sparks fly out of my fingertips. Calm down Irisa, Breath! My vision begins to fill with a blue filter, the electricity has taken over fully. I need to let it out. My body begins to move but I feel like I have no control, my mind floods with horrifying memories letting the pain steep back in. Trina, what happened to her plays over and over, no escaping the pain from what had happened to us. Bang- No, NO MORE! I manage to open the back door without blowing it off, but I wasn’t able to get far outside as lighting needs to be grounded. My heart pounds with such a force that my ribs begin to suffer in agony, the electricity flowing through my veins at a speed unlike the times before when I used it freely. I know the electricity can’t be held up for long but the last time I used these ‘powers’ I had hu- Block out the memories, block them out, Irisa Farren. I began to allow my arms raised in the air, letting the affliction take its course. I manage to move into a standing position, closing my eyes fast to block the harshness of the light. The electricity starts to rise to the surface of my skin, I gaze down to see my veins begin to shine bright blue, almost like luminescence lighting. I opened my eyes and the electricity exploded, shooting in every direction bursting into the air. My lungs grasping onto the small amounts of oxygen that my body was able to breathe in. My eyes droop down in exhaustion, the energy that had filled my body minutes before now drained into the air and the ground. My senses calm and settle back into their normal state, my stomach twist slightly trying to regain its stability back. “What?” A voice erupts from behind me causing me to jump in fear, I quickly scramble to my feet and harshly turn towards the source of the voice. “What the hell was that?” Mona whispers, if I was normal then maybe I wouldn’t have heard it but it seemed impossible not to hear her voice. “Mona, I can explain.” I slowly make steps towards her, my feet wobbling every step that I make. “Don’t be afraid of me.” A shaking voice flowed out my throat, my hand moves slowly out in front of me to signal that I mean no harm. “I’m not scared of you Isa. My mind is just losing any sort of grip to sanity that I have left, that’s all.” Mona’s words didn’t have time to reach my ears before she runs and hugs me. “How are you not afraid of me? I’m a monster.” Tears stream down my face, letting the sadness flood my heart. Mona grabs my hands pulling them to her chest, using her thumb to rum circles into palms. “You are not a monster, do you hear me? No matter how you see yourself with this gift or problem whatever you call it, DNA does not determine if you are a monster or not. The only way to say that you are a monster is by the actions you do with your life, powers or not. This doesn’t make you a monster, you are not a monster. You are a girl with a gift, nothing more or less.” Mona pulls me to her chest and wraps her arms around me, she’s comforting me. If only she knew what I’ve done, how my actions ruined many lives. I close my eyes on her shoulder falling asleep.

“Irisa, wake up.” A voice booms through my head, my body jolts from its resting position. “Calm down girly. You nearly gave me a heart attack.” Mona giggles at my actions. I place my hand on my chest grasping onto my shirt, breathing out a sigh. “Don’t do that, I could shock you.” My eyes found its way around the room to realize I’m in my living room. “How did you get me in here?” Whispering softly in the air, grasping my head at the sudden blood rush. “I dragged you to the stairs by your feet than put you on a skateboard I found out back. Tied a rope onto the skateboard and you, pulling you up the stairs into here. I untied you from the skateboard and took 5 minutes to move you onto the couch. The end.” An exaggeration breath flies out of Mona, she turns her head to me and smiles. “Now I want you to get dress, we are going out for pizza and we’re going to talk about what happened,” Mona speaks softly out, all I can do is nod my head.

The moments from my house to the pizza place blur together due to the lack of energy, my mind clears once the smell of grease and fresh tomato. The gooey mountain of cheese that settles before me causes my stomach to growl, I guess I’m hungry. “What are you waiting for Izzy? Dig in and enjoy yourself.” Pizza begins to almost fly out of Mona’s mouth as she shouts at me. My hand moves swiftly towards the pizza picking it up slightly in my hand before harshly dropping it on my plate. “Watch out Iz, it is hot.” Murmuring to myself. The laugh erupting from Mona allows the whole shop to look our way, causing a slight blush to appear on Mona’s checks. I grab the crusted end of the pizza and tear it off in a hasty motion before I allow Mona to question me I place a quarter of the crust in my mouth biting it off. “What are you doing? You are a monster.” The yelling whisper that Mona lets out stops me in my tracks, she thinks that? Mona’s face shifts slightly once our eyes meet. “No I didn’t mean it, it was a joke Irisa.” Closing my eyes feeling ashamed of myself for believing she was afraid of me. A warm source grasps my hand pulling it forward, I slowly open my eyes and gaze at Mona. Her grasp tightens around my hand, her lips form a smile brighter than the lights that surround us. “I want you to tell me everything but at your own pace and time. You’re my best friend and the only person that cares enough not to hurt me, emotionally or physically. I am going to be here for you, until the end of both our lives hopefully. Do you want to talk about what’s been going on with you?” Mona’s light tone makes the tension loosen up slightly allowing me to calm down. “Okay, I don’t know how much I am able to tell without being drawn back into those harsh memories. I wasn’t born with this-” -----Before I’m able to let out another word, the doorbell goes off as a group of people walk in. Looking into the crowd any regular person would just believe they were a group of nice, sweet teenagers, but they’d be wrong. The Harsh Squad as Mona and I like to call them, Cade’s new group of friends. In that lovely group of love 5 people, there is Cade, my old best friend and lacrosse team captain. Jayde, the pretty blonde girl who tries to rule the tennis team. Mckenna, an absent-minded brunette who thinks she is better than everyone else because she has her parent’s money. Mitch, Cade’s new best friend and his assistant captain on the team. Last and least, Nate, the poor nerd they only keep around to do their homework. I slowly raise my eyes to meet Cade’s, the harsh blue stare back at me. I move my hands to back under the table slowly, my eyes never left his. The anger that shines through my eyes begins to take effect on Cade. His eyes are filled with pain, memories of the past reliving in both of us. “Izzy?” Mona’s voice snaps us both out of the trace we were in. “Sorry, Where was I?” My voice comes out softly, trying to avoid any sound of this conversation heading towards Cade. “You said you weren’t born this way.” Mona quickly glances behind her and follows my whispered tone. “Okay, I was a normal happy kid, I was even one of the popular kids in school. My life was perfect than my mom was killed in a car accident.” My tone quickly jumps to sorrow as I start to relive the memories. “After she died, I felt like I lost my world. Only a few months later I had tried to commit suicide. My sister had come in the room after I slit my wrist and called the ambulance, I was brought to the hospital soon after. They had told my sister that I have depression and they recommend I go to this health facility, I don’t know the name but before I got there, they had brought me to another facility without my sister’s permission. The facility was called Malignant Asylum for the Mentally Ill, I didn’t find out until I escaped that hell but-” Mona’s face drops causing me to stop in my track of words. “You went to Malignant Asylum, the mental hospital that burns down just 5 months ago?” I nod my head gently thinking back to the night I escaped. “Were you in there when the fire started?” As soon as she finished her sentence I shake my head in a nodding manner. “No, I left the week before. I didn’t want to go home right away, therefore, I stayed at a homeless shelter for teens. It was an awful time for me but once I got back I knew it would be different than it was before. My sister acts like I barely exist, my brother is on eggshells around me, the whole school acts like I’m a nut job, but still, I won’t complain. I would rather take all of this than go back to Malignant Asylum, that place was hell and I never want to go there ever again. The ‘doctor’ I had, if you could even call him that, was someone of pure evil. He used to torture me in the worst ways possible but all of them included electricity. The first time he-” My throat clogs trying to hold back tears, I start to breath heavily calming my heart down a beat at a time.

“Look who the cat dragged in, its Creepy Harmony and Irisa. I never thought I see the day where you were on the bottom of the school’s chain but its here.” A screech of a voice fills my ears as my emotions finally calm, I turn towards the source to see Jayde. Jayde Willows, the school’s once nobody. “What can I help you with Jayde?” Rolling my eyes at the smirk found on her face. “You are in our booth, get out.” The demand in her voice has no effect on me but I look at Mona and see her eyes fill with fear. Does she scare Mona? I’m not about to let this happen. “Fin-” Before I let Mona say another word I stand up and walk about a foot in front of Jayde. “No. Your name isn’t on this table, you didn’t pay for it because it was here before you even had anyone looking your way. I want you and your group of ‘Somebodies’ to find another bench.” My voice starts to get darker as I get closer to Jayde, her body begins to shake in fear, feel the lighting swirl in my eyes. I begin to move towards her and she begins to back up for her safety but when her back hits the counter she freezes. “If you ever say another bad word about anyone, especially Mona, ever again, I will turn you back into that little nobody that everyone used to ignore. I have many things to everyone in this school to do my binding with but I never used them because I didn’t have to. If you dare try to test your luck with me again, everyone will see the true you. I have, and it is not pretty. You are going to find another table and like it.” I stand up straight and before moving away I allow a small lightning bolt shoot out of my hand and strike her. Her eyes begin to bulge out of her head in shock and she drops to the ground in pain but is unable to make a sound. I stand back and reach my hand out to her. “Get up,” I say in a calm voice. The whole dinner was silent, no one saw me touch her. Their eyes all held confusion as I was showing her compassion, she gently places her hand on mine and I pull her up. “Now go,” I whisper in her ear and she walks to Cade. “That girl is crazy.” Jayde whispers not knowing I could hear her, just to piss her off, even more, I open my mouth and shout, “I know I’m crazy baby, that’s why people like me.” Her jaw drops in shock as I walk confidently to my seat where Mona sits in disbelief, the diner continues its chatter as I sit back down. “That was awesome!” Mona jumps from her spot and hugs me, my electricity sparks her a tad bit from begin activity. “Sorry.” Even though I apologize Mona didn’t seem to care, her smile was bright. Cheek to cheek, and I couldn’t help but return it. I grab my phone quickly reading the time to be 8:31 pm. “Crap, Mona I gotta go. Anthony got home at 8 and I’m late.” Mona nods her head as she throws a 50 on the table and we run out of the diner.

“Thank you for tonight Mona, it was fun. Let’s do it again.” All I see is her nodding her head as I run inside. There was another car in the driveway that I haven’t seen before and luckily Sarah’s car isn’t. I sprint inside at full speed to see Anthony on the couch with another little boy and an older woman. “I am so sorry I was late.” I swiftly shut the door as the three look at me. The older lady nods her head before standing up, “It is quite alright, I understand that you aren’t used to being back yet and time is adjusting. I am Gabe’s Grandma, I used to watch Anthony for the year you were getting better. I have a house key so we decide to come inside and sit and wait for one of the two of you girls to get home. Anthony was lovely tonight and I hope he would come and play with Gabe again. Come on Gabe, let us go home.” The lady’s voice was sweet and gentle calming me down from the panic of being late. The little boy once on the couch got up and grab the lady’s hand. I’m guessing he is Gabe, they both smile at me and walk out the door.

I turn my focus to the clock that is beside me to read 8:54 pm. I tiptoe over to him afraid of his reaction, I kneel down beside him and smile. “I’m sorry buddy. I didn’t mean to be late.” All he does is nod his head but keeps his hair covering his face. I gently place my hand on his cheek and pull his head up until I meet his eyes. His eyes are glossy and red, tear streaming down his face. “I thought you have hurt again.” Those 6 little words caused me to wrap my arms around him and pull him tightly into my chest. He begins to cry louder, his pain breaking my heart more each time a tear falls. “I will never hurt myself like that again, I am never leaving you. I got better and I promise that nothing like that would ever happen again.” Tears begin to fall down my face, landing in his hair. “Do you promise?” A new voice fills the room causing Anthony and I to look at the doorway. Sarah stood tall and proud but her eyes lined with tears on the verge of falling. I place my hand on the table working my way back into a standing position. “Yes.” My voice doesn’t allow me to say more but in my heart, I knew that was all I had to say. Sarah opens her arms up to me allowing me to run into her arms and hug for the first time since mom died. Little hands wrap gently around my waist and a slight wetness on my stomach, I look down to see Anthony hugging me once again. Sarah releases me from her arms before standing up straight. “If you two don’t mind, there is cake in the car for Izzy that we have to grab and a few other things. How about after we put everything away we could eat cake and watch a movie?” Sarah’s eye fills with joy as both Anthony and I say yes to her question. For the first time in a long time, we will be a family.