Experimentation

The world is slowly spinning around me as I fade in and out of consciousness. “Irisa…. Wake up…. IRISA WAKE UP” My body jolts from the darkness as my body fills with panic and fear from the memories of Doctor Edwin’s “lessons”. My breath coming out in waves as my head is spinning, I never got out. It was all a dream, the electricity is starting to build up. “Irisa, calm down.” a voice is heard from the right but I couldn’t get my mind to focus on my surroundings, is that Katrina? Is she alive? “Katrina? Is that you?” I murmured out of my mouth, trying to calm myself down “Who’s Katrina?” the voice whispered out causing my heart to stop and focus on my surroundings. The walls lined with abuse signs and drinking and driving posters, I’m in the nurse’s office at Whitmore. “Irisa, who’s Katrina?” I turn my head towards the voice to see Sarah, her face filled with concern. “She was a nurse at Malignant, I must have thought you were her,” I said letting the lie flow out of me as my mind settles from my nightmare stricken state. My heart pumping electricity through my body trying to be grounded, I quickly set my feet on the ground letting the electricity to flow into the ground. Sarah stands up and looks at me “I will be back.” she said in a monotone voice. I feel my heart calm as the rest of the electricity peacefully settled back into my body.

How did I let this happen? I should have been able to keep myself calm, I could have killed everyone in the lunchroom with the amount of energy pulsing through my body. The way the kinetic energy diffuses into my body causes an abundance amount of energy residing in my body, the more emotional change I have the more the electricity will want to burst. Sarah walks in with my bag and the nurse trails behind her, “You are coming home.” The nurse walks up to me and flashes a light in my eyes, carefully examining the motion of my eyes. He walks up to my sister and smiles, “She had a panic attack, most likely due to the fact of how intense the kids can be. I believe it is best to take her home for today and let her settle down. I’ll get the sign out papers.” Sarah nods her head and follows the nurse out.

I sat in silence for a while, letting the peace set in. I lay back down on the long plastic bed letting the smell of blood and Lysol settle with me. Closing my eyes for a few seconds at a time to keep myself on guard, hearing a slight buzz coming from the floor below me. The door is pushed opened slightly and creeks a tiny bit, my sister must have returned. I turned my head towards who I thought would be Sarah and instead see Mona, I quickly sit up and face her. “Mona, what are you doing here?” Her eyes glossed with worry causing her lip to quiver, she walks over and sits next to me. “You scared me, Isa. The way you dropped to the ground made my heart sink If Cade hadn’t caught you then you could have gotten hurt.” When the word Cade came out of her mouth caused my mind to spin. Cade, the only person that made me keep rethinking my ‘decision’. He was the only person I thought would miss me. His life has been just as hard as mine, and when I tried to end it all, he was mad I was going to leave him.

Mona saw the clear distraction in my eyes, wondering why the name had caused such a fog in my mind. Sarah had barged in with no care in the world as her eyes trained on her phone, “Let's go Irisa, the faster we get home the better.” As she ends her sentence her eyes look up to see Mona sitting next to me, her face held with a still emotion and just walks out. My gaze shifts towards Mona as she is fumbling with her hands, I laugh at the quirkiness she displays. “I’ll see you soon Mona, I’ve got to go.” I quickly stand up off of the plastic bed and headed towards the door. “Wait.” A mumbled was made from behind me, I turned my head towards her and did what she asked, waited. Mona quickly realized I had heard her and walked beside me, “I hope you are doing better, okay? Gets some sleep.” I gave her a small smile and walked out of the nurse’s office where Sarah was waiting, “Ready?” I meet her eyes and smiled. “Yes.”

Once we got in the car, I drifted off to sleep and it was peaceful, for the first time in a long time. The gentle motions of the car cause a nice rocking sensation I allow to go through my body, letting the gentle winds blow softly on my face caused a chill to my body. The silence had set in the car was one I needed, for the haunting memories of my past we’re getting to me and I can’t let them overtake me anymore. I have to overpower them, I won’t let them hurt me anymore. I finally want to let my mind rest.

I felt a gentle shake on my shoulder causing me to wake up from the peaceful rest I gifted to myself. “We’re home, why don’t you go inside and lay down?” I gently nodded my head to my sister, just wanting to relax after my mind had overpowered to my body. I don’t like the feeling of losing any control, the sensation is painful and dreadfully no one should ever have to experience something like that. Pushing open the door while tossing my backpack over my shoulder, it caused me to wake up fully from my rest in the car. I never got to get a good look around my yard from last night or this morning, I had missed the fresh smell of grass even though it’s covered with water from the previous night rain. my home. It had still looked the same, but the atmosphere has changed, without my mom the light has slowly faded out of the house. I have to realize her we all lost hope, but I lost the most for we were the closest out of my family. her garden and started to die but there were few flowers leftover before she passed none of us had the heart to 10 for it or to get rid of it for words like she still has a job here and she will come back.

My heart started to Race fast as my mind went to her and I knew it was going to happen again unless I went inside. I quickly pushed past my sister and booked it to my room, breathing in and out as the door slam behind me letting my body handbag slide to the floor an attempt to call my heart down. With my anxiety taking over and my body wanting to shut down, I had laid myself on my bed, gently placing my hands on the necklace that I have in my pocket. As I am placing the metal to my hand, staring at the locket that was in front of me a wave of pain flooded through my body at the thought of Katrina.

“Iris? are you okay, I know today could have been stressful for you and that’s why I said it would be best for you to go home.” Sarah had yelled from outside the door, and I know in her own way she is trying to help but she interrupts my thoughts and makes me lose my sanity more. I know Sarah is mad at me even though she would pretend she’s not and it hurts that I know I did that to her, I made her angry at me. My door opens in her head pops in, scanning my body over with fear and ride, her mind went back to when I first ‘ tried to heal’ myself. As much as I wish she would forget about it I know it will forever be in her mind, those thoughts will always be there, then I would do it again because I thought she didn’t care, no one did at that time. “I’m fine Sarah, I’m just a bit tired from today. I have some homework I want to finish but I’ll be down in a little to grab some lunch” all I see is a blur moving and a fast motion out the door, she left me alone be in peace with Katrina failing back up my mind.

Katrina was a warrior and always, her mind was free even though her body was trapped and has shown even the most unlikely of people can be brave and strong. She had always made me believe that I would beat Dr. Edwin. We would live outside of that place and... It’s hard to think about her. Her bravery is some people wish to have, and she was only a year older than me. I wish I had an ounce of her bravery. The courage she possessed in her body was some of the most amazing we would ever see and she saved me. I remember the first time she saves me and it was amazing, she saved me more than once.