Desire for you- ALPHA RYAN Book 1

One month later

RYAN

You know when I said, what do you think time will bring?

The first week was damn hard. There wasn't a day that Catherine didn't cry for Ilay. Yes, it was difficult for her, but for me it was Mission Impossible. I wanted to march into the demon realm myself and give that demon king of a father a piece of my mind.

Then there was the fact that my pack members were eagerly awaiting their new Luna. The older members were already pushing for the ceremony, but I had it postponed on the grounds that her health wasn't good at the moment. One thing was off the table, but if only it were that simple...

Chiara and Alexander stormed into my house as if it was open house and you would have thought there was no landlord here to keep an eye on things. By now I was annoyed by everything and everyone and didn't know what else to do to please them all.

As annoyed as I was, I sat in my office with a glass of bourbon in my hand, soaking my nerves in alcohol in the hope of finding an answer to all my problems.

I didn't think that a break-up like this would affect me more than before. Reminder to me: never reject your mate or your mate's mate. It's as complicated as it sounds.

I practically had to force Catherine to eat and she couldn't get out of bed for the life of her. She didn't care anymore.

I got up like every day, ran into the kitchen, prepared Catherine's meal and went upstairs to our bedroom.

She was huddled up in bed, her hair was wildly disheveled and her weight had not improved.

I refrained from sighing, as I was also beginning to tire of the situation.

I approached the table with the tray and set it down.

"Good afternoon, dear... It's time you got out of bed," I said to her and sat down next to her.

"I don't want to..." She mumbled to herself and turned on her other side.

I rolled my eyes and glared at her "Catherine, I know you're miserable, but this can't be permanent." I forced her to turn again, gently tugging on her hand and pulling her towards me.

"You're even musty, I don't know you like that." I said and lifted her up.

She shrieked and clawed at me tightly.

"Ryan, let go of me!" She said and looked at me startled" I shook my head "I'm not going to let you go, I'm going to put you in the bath and get you back on your feet." I said and smiled at her.

She sighed "I really don't look that bad" she mumbled to herself.

"Yeah, if only you knew" I said and carried her into the bathroom.

I set her down on the edge and looked at her.

"It can't go on like this Cate, even Ilay wanted our lives to go on.... You're carrying a child and you're not enjoying it at all." I said, biting my lower lip.

She nodded sadly and clutched the necklace Ilay had given her. "You're right Ryan," she whispered softly and a tear slipped from her eye. The subject of Ilay was still a hot topic and she burst into tears every time.

"I'll take your clothes off," I said and pulled the pyjama top over her head.

I let the water run warm and once she was completely naked, I put her in the bath.

A soft moan escaped her and she leaned against the wall. "That feels good," she whispered and looked at me sadly.

I nodded slightly "Of course it's good for you, in fact it's absolutely necessary" I said and moistened her hair with the jet of water.

Taking care of her hair was also damn difficult. It was so long and then she needed shampoo, conditioner and then a hair mask, which had to work in nicely. Women...

Fortunately, Catherine wasn't as hairy as some women, so it made everything easier.

In the end, she showered herself and I wrapped her up in her bath towel. She ran to the closet and took out a jogging suit, which I grabbed out of her hand: "No. Not today, I'm planning to take you out." I said to her and picked out something smart from the closet.

"Ryan, I don't feel like it..." she said and leaned against the closet.

"Don't argue with me, Cate," I said to her and pressed a black wool dress into her hand.

She gave me an exasperated look, but finally gave in and put the dress on after putting on her underwear.

I watched her and had to smile at her little baby bump. She adjusted her dress in front of the mirror. I approached her from behind and hugged her. I put my hands on her stomach and looked at her in the mirror.

She was watching me very closely and if I didn't know any better, a small smile formed on her lips.

"HAH! Gotcha!" I said with a grin and pressed a kiss to her cheek.

"Caught at what?" she asked me, confused and now smiling too.

"You're smiling again, that's a good sign," I said and turned her to face me.

She finally shrugged her shoulders and sighed softly "You're practically forcing me to" she finally said and moved closer to me.

"I miss you, Cate..." I said to her openly and honestly. I really missed her, even though I wanted to give her time to process the whole thing. It was torture for me.

She nodded slightly and bit her bottom lip, "I'm sorry Ryan..." she whispered softly, looking into my eyes.

I shook my head, "Don't be sorry, I just want us to work on this together and get you out of this hole. We can't change what happened..." I said and touched her lip, which she had bitten, with one finger. I stroked it with my thumb and kissed her gently.

Surprisingly, after a month, she finally returned my kiss and let me get closer to her. On the days before, there was no thought of it.

I was reluctant to break away from her. "Forget the food on the tray, I'm taking you out today," I finally said. She nodded slightly and reached for the hairdryer to dry her hair.

I waited for her until she was ready and came back towards me. "Are you ready?" I asked her.

She nodded slightly and reached for my hand. I led her out of our bedroom and walked down the stairs with her.

As we walked down the stairs, we came across Michael, who waved to us "Boss, boss lady" he greeted us with a smile.

"Hey Michael, are you all right?" I asked him.

"Yes, everything's fine. I've just come from training." he said and looked at Cate. No one had seen Cate since the incident, she had mainly been hiding in the room. The only ones who kept coming into the room were Maya, Milena and Chiara . Tristan referred to them as the "MCM squad", the special handbag squad.

"Hey," Cate said, barely audible to Michael.

"Tell Tristan we're off today, he should do the rest," I instructed him and then walked on with Cate.

I led Cate to my car and after she sat down, I got into the driver's seat, revved the engine of my Audi R8 and drove out of the garage.

"I'll give you three guesses where we're going," I said to her and drove comfortably through the city.

She looked out of the window and was pretty quiet as usual "I don't know" she finally said and looked at me.

I bit my lower lip "Do you remember our first official date?" I asked her.

She nodded slightly and finally smiled "Yes, I remember it all too well, Mr. Hamilton" she finally said.

I had to smile at that too "Good. We'll go out for dinner first and then we'll go somewhere else" I said.

"Where else are you going?" she asked me, confused, running her fingers through her now clean hair.

"Hmm, I thought we could pay our baby a visit," I said, nodding down to her stomach.

"It would be due for another check-up," I finally said. I already had an appointment at the women's clinic before I went to see Cate.

We finally arrived at Alfredo's and walked into the restaurant. Alfredo greeted us straight away and took us to a free table.

He handed us the menu and I waved mine away "I already know what I want" I said to him and looked at Cate.

She looked over the menu and finally nodded. "I'll have the pizza verdure" she finally said. "The lasagne for me".

Alfredo took our orders and made his way back to the kitchen.

I looked at Catherine and scrutinized her without noticing. The separation from Ilay had taken away any zest for life she still had. I hadn't heard from Ilay either. I occasionally wrote to Achira, who kept telling me the same thing. His condition was unchanged, his mood had rubbed off on the whole empire he ran. His workers had to work even harder and overall, according to her, he had mutated into a sourpuss, which was unheard of.

I continued his project of building a house here, which we had started for Cate. That was to come to an end. That was a gift from him and me to Cate.

"What are you thinking about?" Cate suddenly asked me and I realized that my thoughts must have wandered.

I shrugged my shoulders "I'm thinking about the fact that we still have to decorate a room" I said to her and smiled slightly.

"It'll be ready in a few months" I said quietly and reached for her hand.

"I want you to choose everything," I said to her.

Alfredo came with the food and served us everything.

"Thank you," I said to him.

"Always a pleasure, my friend," he said in his Italian accent.

We started to eat and were quite quiet. This quietness was unusual for me. We usually talked about God and the world, but hey, this was a start. I had managed to get her out of bed, which I was actually proud of.

After we'd eaten everything, or rather I'd eaten everything and taken the remaining four slices of pizza from Cate, we both looked at each other.

"I need to talk to you about something important..." I finally said.

She looked at me questioningly, "What about?"

"Well, we're mates and every Alpha has a Luna. The pack is eagerly waiting for you to take the lead with me," I said seriously.

"I can't..." she whispered softly and looked at me sadly "not after everything that's happened" her eyes dropped to the table.

I gently lifted her chin so she had to look me in the eye, "You're stronger than you think, Cate. All of this makes you one of the strongest women in this world. It doesn't have to be overnight, but I want you to know that your pack loves you more than anything"

I smiled at her and gently stroked her cheek.

She took my hand and pressed a kiss to the back of my hand.

"I'm anything but strong... I don't even know how to look after this child..." she said desperately. I shook my head: "Our child, we will do this together. I will never let you down, do you understand?" I could sense her worries and I knew that all of this was really bothering her, but she had to get her act together now. It couldn't go on like this.

I finally paid and we got up and went back to the car. We drove towards the hospital and when we got there, we got out together. I looked at her, "Are you ready?" I asked her and smiled at her.

She nodded and I grabbed her hand and we went inside. Fortunately, her nausea had subsided this week. However, she could no longer smell the coffee. We walked into the private clinic and reported to the women's clinic. We were allowed to wait for a moment until the doctor was ready.

Finally, we were invited into the room.

"My name is Miles, I'm your doctor for the next..." she looked Catherine over and examined her stomach "... four months?" She said and looked at us in astonishment "You should have checked in much earlier, you're late" she told us and asked Catherine to lie down on the couch.

"Well, we noticed the pregnancy late" I said, raising my eyebrows briefly as Cate looked at me 'If only she knew that we wolves were quicker...' I said to her and she smiled at me.

"Well, let's do the check-up first and then talk about the rest," she finally said and took the ultrasound gel and smeared it on Catherine's belly. At first you couldn't see anything on it and then suddenly the image became clear and my mouth fell open.

"That's her baby! Congratulations," said the doctor and also heard the heart beating through the Doppler. She checked each organ and finally looked at us "Now that you're ready to recognize the sex, the question is, do you want to know?" The doctor asked.

Catherine watched our baby with wide eyes and finally looked at me.

I was very curious and really wanted to know 'Do you?' I asked her and she nodded several times "I really want to know..." she said and looked at the doctor "Me too", I said to her and I bit my lower lip tensely.

"Well, Mr. Hamilton, you'll have male backup," the doctor said with a smile and printed out a few souvenir photos for us. She handed them to us and wiped the gel off Cate's stomach.

Cate and I looked at each other, beaming. At last, for a month, I could feel a spark of warmth and joy in her.

She hugged me with joy and this time it was tears of joy running down her cheek.