Desire for you- ALPHA RYAN Book 1

Five months later

CATHERINE

In terms of the past, my past was a huge mess and yet I had the feeling that there was now a happy ending for me too.

Ryan hadn't left my side since the thing with Ilay. He had managed to get me out of this situation again. Every day he had forced me out of bed and every day we had done something together, which had only strengthened our bond even more.

We usually went for a run in the woods and talked about God and the world. It felt good, he had become my personal therapist and that was nice.

We decorated our little house together and furnished the baby room. Two baby rooms, actually. He had also decorated one in the pack house.

The joy had been great and Cynthia had actually managed to throw a baby shower.

Time flew by and I was already holding my long-awaited baby in my arms. The doctor had been right and we were having a boy. Henry Ilay Hamilton-Crawford. The middle name came from Ryan, which I thought was pretty bold at first, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized it wasn't so bad.

I still missed Ilay a lot and I hadn't heard from him since then. He was probably struggling with this situation too and I could only hope that Achira was also a good support for him, just like Ryan was for me.

I held Henry in my arms and nursed him while I made myself comfortable in the rocking chair.

He was a calm baby, thank goodness, and in hindsight I was terribly sorry that he had been exposed to this stress during the pregnancy.

Ryan didn't dare to touch him at first, he was afraid that he might fall out of his hands, and Henry was born weighing an impressive 4500g. He was quite big for a baby.

A newborn like that was really cute.

Ryan came into the room and gave me a kiss on the forehead. "All good with you?" he asked me, looking down at Henry. He smiled every time and looked at him all in love. This softie version of Ryan wasn't really known from him.

I nodded "Yes, he's asleep again" I said and looked at Ryan.

Giving birth to such a big baby was no walk in the park. I could only dimly remember how everything happened so quickly, although it seemed like forever in that situation.

I remember that my mother was visiting with my father and I was wearing a silky green pleated skirt.

My mother looked at me with a frown and pointed at my skirt, which was damp. "Are you all right?" she asked me. I nodded slightly and shrugged my shoulders "Yes, everything's fine so far, I probably got water on it in the kitchen", I said and turned my skirt to the side a little. "Sweetie, you don't need to tell me, off to the hospital."

She looked at my father and nodded at him. "Alexander, we should probably go," she said to him. He was visibly confused. "We've only just arrived, haven't we?" he asked, confused, looking back and forth between the two of us.

"Alexander, now," she demanded and she wasn't so wrong. My rupture of membranes had been rather high, which is why the amniotic fluid was just dripping away. As soon as Ryan and I arrived at the hospital, she burst completely and some time passed before I went into labor.

So much for the birth, I was glad to be back home.

"Can I?" Ryan asked me and wanted to take Henry in his arms. I nodded slightly and handed him over. He gave him a peck on his tiny cheek and put him in his bed.

He came back to me and smiled at me. Suddenly I was lifted up and I had to stop myself from squeaking so as not to wake Henry.

Ryan grinned at me and looked me in the eye "Now that our little king is asleep, I would like to devote myself to our queen" he said and pressed a kiss to my lips.

I had to smile and returned his kiss. Because of all the situations, Ryan had been missing out every time lately.

After the birth, he hadn't dared to come closer to me, even though the wounds healed a lot faster with us wolves, he wanted to wait.

He carried me into the bedroom next door and gently laid me down. I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him closer to me and we kissed wildly. Every time Ryan came closer, I had to think of Ilay. By now, however, the pain was no longer so great and his mark had also faded, which was a sign of letting go.

I had to continue on my way, I had promised Ilay that.

"Is everything okay with you?" Ryan asked me quietly. Apparently, I had paused again with these thoughts. I nodded slightly "Yes, everything will be fine now..." I whispered against his lips and kissed him again.

His hands slid up under my sweater to my breasts, which had become pretty damn sensitive by now.

Ryan pampered me with several kisses along my neck and took off my sweater while I took off his shirt as well.

Luckily, the pregnancy had spared me a little, of course there was a bit of sagging skin, which would disappear with time and exercise, but luckily that was all.

Before we knew it, we were both naked in bed. Ryan was already reaching for a pack of condoms, which I put on him and then he pounced on my lips again. We wanted to wait, it would be far too soon for baby number two, especially as we were just about managing with one baby.

We were both so hungry for it that we didn't drag out the foreplay, but got straight down to business.

Ryan pushed into me gently and elicited a moan from me. It was pure lust that overcame me and I clung tightly to his back.

He moaned too and carefully moved into me "Ryan, harder" I gasped. He handled me with kid gloves, that really wasn't necessary here.

"A-Are you sure?" he asked me uncertainly.

I nodded slightly and pulled his head closer to me. We kissed again and our tongues played with each other.

His thrusts became faster and harder, which made my whole body tingle.

It was the best sex I'd had in a long time, finally, and I was clearly enjoying being pampered by Ryan.

The happiness didn't last long, however, because I heard Henry crying from the next room and my maternal instincts kicked in again.

Ryan moaned again "Make him wait a minute..." he whispered to me and he was right. Ryan managed to give me the most beautiful orgasm within a minute. I felt like I was in seventh heaven again. "Mhm Ryan..." I moaned out and clawed at him harder, leaving scratch marks on his back.

He followed me with his climax and was completely out of breath.

Henry's crying got louder and louder and I immediately wanted to get up to get him.

Ryan carefully pulled out of me and ran into the bathroom to dispose of the condom.

I went straight to Henry and took him in my arms, which alone was enough to calm him down. I took him into the bedroom and sat on the bed with him.

I had dressed Henry in the tiny set of clothes that Achira had bought for him. We were bombarded with baby clothes and presents. There was something from every pack member, everyone was happy to see Ryan's successor.

Henry, our little alpha pup.

I pressed a kiss to his forehead and looked into his eyes. I had a feeling they had a greenish tint to them, though that changed throughout babies, but with my blue eyes and Ryan's brown ones, I wouldn't be surprised if Henry actually got green eyes. It reminded me of Ilay's emerald green eyes....

I wished so much that Ilay was back...

I clutched the necklace he had given me and reminisced about the beautiful memories we had.

His smile, his gleaming white teeth, his striking face with those great cheekbones... Just everything about him, I missed it so much. I felt a stab in my heart and went from zero to one hundred, so emotional again.

I hugged Henry tightly and bit my lower lip to stop myself from crying again.

Maya kept preaching to me that Henry could feel all our feelings and that we should be strong for his sake, but it was hard...

Ilay would always have a special place in my heart and I would never be able to forget him.

Ryan came back to us and sat down next to me. He looked at Henry and gently stroked his head.

My stomach suddenly growled. "I think we're going to get something to eat," Ryan said, grinning at me. I nodded slightly, "Can you hold Henry for a minute, I'd like a quick shower," I said, handing him onto his chest.

He lay down on the bed with Henry and the sight of the two of them was simply wonderful.

I trudged into the bathroom and freshened up again. I finally got dressed. I put on a pair of jeans and a shirt, which was easier when you're breastfeeding. I took Ryan, Henry off so he could get ready too.

When we were all ready, we finally walked out of the room, down to the living room. It was bloody difficult to go out with a baby, or rather, going out was impossible. Everyone wanted to see Henry, which was nice in itself.

Tristan and Maya stood in front of the front door and looked at us "Oh, Pummel is awake!" Maya said and looked at Henry, beaming.

I nodded slightly "Yes, he was wide awake all night" I said and had to smile.

"I'm happy to do the next night shift... He's so cute," Maya said and poked Tristan in the ribs. "I want a baby too," she said with a puppy dog look, which made Tristan laugh "Who knows," he said, shrugging his shoulders.

"Do you want to go out for dinner with us?" Ryan asked and they nodded in agreement.

"What do you want to eat without us? Hello?" came Michael from behind, with Colette, even though Colette still seemed creepy to me, she became more likeable over time.

Ryan laughed and shook his head "Well then, let's all go out for dinner together. That's fine," he said and I nodded in agreement.

We put Henry in the baby carriage and walked to a small restaurant nearby to have lunch.

We laughed and ate. All seemed right with the world again, even if the past would always haunt us.

It was all right, it was allowed to get better again.

Ryan put his arm around me and looked into my eyes.

"I love you, Catherine," he whispered, gazing into my eyes.

"I love you too, Ryan," I said to him, whereupon he pressed a kiss to my lips.

The world was perfect for a moment and I wanted to hold on to that moment.