Born From Ash (Book I of The Flame Trilogy)

I passed out.

In the memory or real life, I can’t remember but the two felt almost interchangeable whilst it happened. It was so real, almost like I was living the moment, not remembering it.

My eyes flutter open, the room around me is still dark but even in the dark I know that it’s Dimitri’s. His scent is around me, filling the whole space with him. Regardless of how I feel at the knowledge, I’m far too weak to get up, and my mind is still trying to make sense of what happened last night.

Perhaps it’s been lost for so long that reliving my memories is the only way for me to remember it, I hardly know. What I do know, is that it had taken so much out of me to be there. I feel absolutely rotten, like I haven’t slept all night not to mention the overall sickly feeling encompassing me.

My head feels heavy, like it has been stuffed with cotton; my throat dry and scratchy; my entire body feels sickly and uncomfortably warm, an added pressure on my waist weighing me down in some way. Dimitri’s is holding me to him. That’s probably the cause of both my overheating and the weight on me considering his arm is slung over my body drawing me closer to his naked chest.

My first instinct is to try to free myself from his grip, but he simply pulls me in tighter, gently caressing the skin on my arms. It sets off those uncontrollable fireworks under my skin, shocking my nerve endings into submission; awakening a soothing, pleasurable feeling within.

It’s nice; it feels...right. For the first time I don’t feel guilty for being calmed by his touch, neither do I feel repulsed by my reaction to him.

“Dimitri?” I whisper, my voice sounding both croaky and weak. I hate it. Clearing my throat, I try again, louder this time: “Dimitri.”

He immediately wakes at the sound of my voice, his eyes frantically travelling over my frame to check if I’m alright. His eyes are tired, and he seems a little bit more feral than usual. Once he realises I’m not in any imminent danger and that I’m seemingly fine, he calms down a bit.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you. I’ve got you, mate.” He speaks softly, leaving a tender, lingering kiss on the back of my neck. I sneak a peep over my shoulder at him, surprised by such an action from the Alpha.

His words calm me a little, but I still feel the urgency to get last night’s memories off of my mind. All the things I saw last night are stuck in my mind- haunting me. All I can think about is unrelenting heat and the roaring flames. Of blood, screams and raw destruction.

His eyes open, trained solely on me. His reaction is so fast, it’s almost like the action is an unconscious one, designed to comfort me- his mate. He looks completely at peace once I settle in his arms; everything he needs, right here in his arms. Soulmates are supposed to complete you in some way; two perfect halves coming together to make a whole.

Aleksandr used to teach us that it’s a weakness but lying in Dimitri’s arms doesn’t make me feel weak at all. It makes me feel safe. It’s like finding land after a huge storm at sea; a relieving and empowering sort of comfort. How can such a feeling be bad? Maybe it’s okay to relax in his arms...

I try to speak but the words won’t come, lips trembling. It’s so frustrating; wanting to speak but not being able to find the words. Sensing my distress, Dimitri turns me around to face him and held me; large, warm arms wrapping around me in a protective cocoon. Something builds inside me, like a well overflowing that won’t stop leaking. Before I know it, I’m sobbing into his chest. As much as I’m ashamed and want to stop it, I can’t.

“I’ve got you, mate. I won’t let you go, I promise.” Dimitri whispers sweet nothings into her hair-anything to calm her down.

Even when my sobs slow to hiccups Dimitri continues to hold me, fingers gently caressing my skin. My eyes burn with tiredness, aching limbs almost begging me to fall asleep- it’s now coming around to half 6 in the morning, time to wake up not go to sleep.

Dimitri probably senses my confliction because he kisses my forehead: “You’ve barely rested. Sleep, my mate.”

That’s all the reassurance I need. I rest my head against his chest letting my eyes close, falling back into a healing, blissful sleep.

The next time I wake I find myself in Dimitri’s lap.

He has me placed on his lap so that he can continue doing his own work without leaving me. I guess his wolf is still restless and doesn’t want to be without me after what happened. We haven’t moved far from the bed, rather a sofa that rests on the left side of the bed near the window. Dimitri has his work scattered on the small, dark, glass coffee table.

His hands brush over the ink on my thighs in an almost therapeutic gesture, whether it’s for his sake or mine I’m not sure, but it’s still a very nice feeling.

He probably knows that I’m awake but says nothing that reveals as such. It’s only when I start to squirm to get more comfortable that he reacts, placing me with my legs across his thighs before going back to his work, his free hand still keeping its place on my skin.

“How long was I asleep?” I mutter in cautious curiosity.

“A few hours, it’s almost 10.” He replies easily. Then he heaves a heavy sigh completely abandoning his work before giving me his full attention. “What happened?”

“I had a flashback. I think it was triggered by seeing the fire last night.” I gulp thinking back to the haunting images that had plagued my mind for most of the night.

“What did you see?” He asks concernedly, “You were whimpering all night.”

“My pack, Dawn Stalkers... It was burning. Everyone was dead. Shadow fang attacked and they destroyed everything...I had a feeling before but now I know for certain. I saw him, Aleksandr. He set my pack on fire and watched it burn. H-he murdered my parents.”

The only thing that comes out is short sentences, unable to find the words fast enough to keep up with my mind. I can still feel the fear as ripe as when I first had the flashback, it’s like reliving it all over again.

Sensing my pain and discomfort, Dimitri pulls me impossibly closer and runs a large hand through my short hair soothingly. His other hand massaging my thighs and hip gently under the muscle tank that he had put on me.

Last time I had woken naked, so something had prompted him to dress me. My guess was that there was someone else in the room that required him putting clothes on me- which would explain why the shirt was his.

“The witch told me the memories would resurface with time,” Dimitri sighs into my hair, “But if I knew that it would’ve been like that, I never would’ve let her unlock your mind.”

“What’s done is done. Besides I need this.”

He sighed once again, though this time he actually sounded tired. His voice grows deep and stern, it almost feels like he’s scolding me. “You don’t have to be so strong all the time, I know that you feel it so let me in.”

His mouth kisses the ink on my shoulder before he trails a finger over the dark lines of the screeching phoenix rising from flame and forest.

“What does this one mean?” His fingers linger on my warm flesh.

I don’t know when we had gotten so comfortable with each other, but I find that I don’t really mind.

“Even after my setbacks at Shadow Fang, I will continue to persevere no matter how many times I have to be reborn from the ashes.” The determination lined my voice. It’s not just a tattoo anymore; it has become a vow, a declaration, a promise that I have every intention of fulfilling.

“What other secrets do you hide, mate?” He reaches up tying my hair into a tiny ponytail, as much as it could with my short hair before a pair of big, warm hands trail under my shirt, caressing my skin in the way that he likes.

I don’t answer. Maybe to keep my secrets to myself or not knowing where to start with everything, I’m not too sure which. Besides, it’s best he doesn’t know; he probably wouldn’t believe me anyway... it’s extremely far fetched anyway. There’s also still a small part of me that still doesn’t fully trust him, or maybe it’s that I don’t trust myself when I’m around him; either way the lack of control gave me a bad feeling in my gut.

“I will uncover every hidden thing about you.” He whispers into the back of my neck, “Starting with the ones penned in your skin.”

His hands massage my skin, slowly pulling the shirt over my head. Goosebumps immediately rise on my naked flesh, nipples hardening at the cold air. I shiver when he runs a finger down the length of my spine against the images splayed there.

“They are all magnificent pieces of art I’ll admit. The phases of the moon?” His forefinger traces my spine. “Must’ve hurt like hell...”

“Yeah, but there are worse pains in this world.” I reply vaguely. Admittedly it had been the most painful of all my tattoos, the thorns on my ribcage coming in at a close second.

I know he wants to ask about the tattoo on the other side of my back. The demon wing, black, webbed, leathery and spanning my entire back. Ivory horns, dark scales, along with black loose feathers falling and curling near my hip and my ass.

I don’t want to tell him about that yet, so I decide to avoid it the best way I know how; I turn around to straddle him, my knees on either side of him. My face presses into the crook of his neck and my naked breasts press against his bare chest.

He growls slightly, his fingers digging painfully into my hips and tangling with the flimsy material of my G-string.

I nip and suck on his neck gently, causing him to make small grunts of approval. His hands roam across my ass and up my spine gently.

One of his hands came between us, rubbing me against the lace of my underwear. I buck my hips into him to increase the friction, the smell of my arousal coating the air, my panties absolutely soaked.

I bite into his neck when he pushes the fabric aside and pushes a thick digit into me, never once stopping his torturous rubbing.

He lets out a small grunt as I grind my hips harder into his fingers, and his dick below me. He thrusts his hips and fingers in sync, grunting with each movement and matching my own moans.

When he speeds up, I almost scream. For some reason every sensual moment I share with him seems to just get better every time. Intense, pleasurable, and leaves me with a release so complete that I don’t think I can ever go back to having sex with just anyone.

I clench around his fingers, and his dick twitching beneath me from the confines of his underwear. Our orgasms wash over us, and it’s unlike anything I have ever felt before; a strange itch in my gums makes my canines come forth, burying them into Dimitri’s neck- making him mine.

We sit in our positions just catching our breath and coming down from the high; I feel a new sense of connection to him, like a new pathway has opened up that led to him within me. It’s something beyond words, but all around me and within me I feel Dimitri’s presence.

A tiredness takes over my body, so I rest my head back on his shoulder.

“Oh, what you do to me, mate.” He bites down slightly on my shoulder causing me to suck in a sharp breath at the pleasure-pain.

“I know that you want to know everything but please give me time. It’s hard for me to talk about everything so openly when I was practically brainwashed not to.” I murmur into his neck. I don’t know what prompts me to give him such a reply, especially a genuine, vulnerable answer too- but I can’t deny that it feels like the right thing to do. He growls slightly at the ‘brainwashed’ part, but I can’t deny that truth.

“As I continue to live here, I learn more and more, about myself and pack life. I realise that a lot of the things Aleksandr taught weren’t right. I hope that the more I learn will allow me to open up to you in the way that you want me to.”

“I don’t want to open up to me because that’s what you think I want, I want you to do it because you want to.” He strokes my hair with one of his hands.

Simply enjoying the feeling of being in his arms, I mutter: “With time...”

I don’t even realise that I’ve forgotten. Forgotten that time is something that I’m running out of, fast.