Born From Ash (Book I of The Flame Trilogy)

As the customs of his pack demands, as a newly introduced Alpha female, I’m obliged to wear the pack colours. Dimitri choses a red off the shoulder, floor length gown with gold trimmings along with a long white, fur cloak and a gold leaf hair wreath to match.

The exposed skin of my shoulders, arms, and neck show off of the ink and scars that I have decorating my skin. For the first time I actually feel self-conscious.

Angel and Irina help me to get dressed, along with the added assistance of Viktorya. It’s single-handedly the single most frustrating experience of my life. They make the whole affair doubly uncomfortable by talking about the mark on my neck and gossiping about the development in my relationship with Dimitri. We almost chat like normal girls- it’s bittersweet to catch a glimpse of what I could’ve had, and yet still, what I could never have.

One thing I do realise though, is that they stay consistently caring; never abandoning me, even when I cause trouble or am difficult to handle. I suppose I’ve come to trust them, even care for them in the way that they have for me- just like how I feel about Dimitri.

Dressing me up takes almost an hour, and I’m more than thankful once it’s over. If I thought putting on the stuff was annoying, I underestimated what it’s like wearing it. I’m so far out of my depth in this attire that I find myself missing my comfortable- and easy for combat- outfits of simple pants and shirts.

Dimitri’s eyes bug out of his head when he sees me, I guess that’s a good thing? I’m slowly coming to terms with the idea of expressions and communication that I had been hidden from during my time in Shadow Fang.

He makes a sensual display of putting on my collar, leash and fur cloak, leaving kisses and heated trails across my skin. Though any gentleness is quickly replaced with a mask of indifference once we leave for the clearing.

Most of the pack is already gathered in the clearing where the feast is taking place when we arrive. It’s the same clearing that Dimitri made his earlier announcement, though now it’s decked out with wooden benches that are lined with endless platters of food.

Dimitris’s stump is also adorned with a throne like chair, made out of a dark wood, carved in the most intricate patterns to display his rank. The entire pack stops when we arrive, watching as he walks up to his raised platform and sits on his throne, sitting me at his feet like an obedient bitch.

It must be an entertaining show for the pack to watch him drag me behind him as he walks, or to watch as I sit at the edge of his platform with my leash firmly in his hands. There isn’t much I could do in the way of resisting without hurting myself, so I sit complicit. Besides I’d be doing the same thing even if I didn’t have the collar on; I’m not going to waste my energy over a pointless and futile battle.

The pack members that take up the space around the pit of unlit wood, where the bonfire will be, are laughing, singing and dancing. All joyously waiting for the moment the Alpha lights the flames. It’s almost primal, but I can’t deny that there’s an enjoyable atmosphere filling the area. It isn’t something that I’m familiar with. I would’ve been a lot more comfortable had there been brawling, but I’m also content to remain out of the way.

The rich smell of food elicits hunger in me. The various smells wafts across to me, causing my mouth to water with the thought of what the tender meats taste like. My eyes practically roll to the back of my head just thinking of the pleasure of filling my stomach.

I try to turn my head towards the several benches that hold the banquet of food but the sharp pain of the collar biting the flesh of my neck quickly averts my attention back to Dimitri. I don’t think he even notices my discomfort or hunger, too busy in hushed conversation with Viktor and Mikhail.

This whole collaring thing hasn’t dulled the conflicting emotions I feel for him, but it does irritate me. It’s just so confusing and I don’t know what to do; the best thing to do with a problem you can’t resolve is to ignore it. So that’s what I do, I ignore him.

My stomach grumbles slightly, though not loud enough to be audible, rekindling my vigour to reach for the food. I angle away from Dimitri turning my head sharply towards the table once again hoping to catch the glance of Angel, or any of the pack members standing close-by. I have no such luck; not that I need it since my action pulls on the chain in Dimitri’s hand alerting him of my movements.

“What do you want mate?” His attention is fully on me. “Are you hungry?”

My stubbornness prevails, sticking to my resolve as I completely ignore him, still annoyed with the collar and confliction.

“If you refuse to answer me Arashi you will continue to suffer in silence.” He warns before adding a new quiet threat under his breath: “And if I think you are disrespecting me in front of my pack, you will receive additional punishment and I can tell you it will be more severe than a collar.”

I grit my teeth, swallowing my pride before facing him with narrowed eyes and a forced smile. “Only a little hungry, but it’s not a problem, Alpha.”

“You.” He beckons over one of the nearby Kappa. The poor Wolf practically shakes as they approach their Alpha. “Your Alpha Female is hungry.”

Without anything further, the small bitch scurries away as fast as her small legs can carry her. It takes her a short minute, but she returns with a full plate and cutlery, setting them on the platform beside me with a small bow before scurrying off again.

I immediately dig in, vaguely aware of Dimitri’s eyes lingering in me. I’m conscious enough to use the cutlery just like Angel and Irina had taught me. Dimitri’s lips pull into a small smile in my peripheral vision before he turns back to his men.

The sun begins to set, and the pack wolves begin to howl and hoot for Dimitri to light to the bonfire. To me it’s just strange; I don’t fully understand, guessing it’s another pack tradition.

Dimitri stands before bowing to his pack ready to oblige their wish. With my leash in hand he walks towards the large pit holding out his hand for a torch. Alexei hands him a lit flaming torch, and Dimitri makes a big show of holding it up to the sky before placing it amongst the pile of logs, straw and sticks.

The pit roars to life, immediately becoming engulfed in flame. They dance with hues of reds and orange, causing the pack members to cheer and howl into the night air.

The music starts up louder again, the laughter and dancing carrying on just like before.

But this time, I’m not there.

The flames are hot against my skin, though they never touch me I still feel searing pain from the intensity of the heat.

The smoke is suffocating, permeating the air, it’s everywhere- inescapable. I can’t breathe. I tried gasping for breath, but it only invites more smog into my lungs, choking me. The ashy smell is everywhere, I even think it has even saturated my long black hair that’s now charred at the ends from the violent flames.

Long hair?

My heart pounds in my chest as an unfamiliar cloud of fog surrounds my senses. I try to look around, to call out, but I find no-one. I try again to scream, my mind willing everything within me to open my mouth but my body won’t obey. I have no control of my own body, the mere fact adding to the fear that has already taken over me.

My heart banging violently against my rib cage, as if it’s going to beat straight out of my chest. It hurts. I want to squeeze my eyes closed but I can’t.

I am alone.

I let out an involuntary scream as I hear the sound of wood cracking above me, a beam falling near my shrunken feet. Wetness pools from my eyes and streaks down my face, whatever it is I couldn’t control it and it wouldn’t stop.

Then I realise; I’m no longer in White Claw pack, I’m back in my own pack. Dawn Stalkers pack. The one I had been forced to forget. All I can do is observe through the child of my past because I can’t control anything.

This is a memory.

Dimitri’s P.O.V

I’m drawn to the sight of Arashi who seems to be mesmerized by the flames. It’s almost as if I can’t help myself, I find myself looking at her from the corner of my eyes whenever she turns away. Tonight, she looks stunning; it’s strange to see her in such bright, feminine attire. The dress compliments her form well, and hints at the ink and flesh that I know lies beneath.

Her head tilts slightly, and for a moment, I think I’ve been caught, my focus darting back to my people. I glance over them diligently, watching them lose themselves in the festivities. They are wild, happy, and carefree; dancing, laughing, eating.

I dare to sneak another look at Arashi, but she’s completely fixed in a trance of her own.

I tug lightly on the chain to her collar, wanting her attention, even if it is a spine chilling glare. In fact, just putting the collar on her neck was the most amusing experience ever. One thing I could congratulate her on is that she took her punishment well, and I knew that it had nothing to do with obedience.

I doubt that we would be even after this, she would only lash back harder at me. I’d be lying if I said I’m not looking forward to it. Call me a sadistic bastard but I can’t wait to go right back at her; this war between us is entertaining and I revel in it. I know that the reason I push so hard is because this game of tug of war is all we have; we aren’t like Mikhail and Irina or Viktor and Angel.

I can read her well enough to know that Arashi does not do warm hugs, or kisses or love in the capacity that I could give her. I don’t know if she will ever be that kind of woman. But she is my mate, fated by the moon goddess and it pisses me off that she doesn’t recognize it too. I have a sneaking suspicion that her time at Shadow Fang has contributed to that.

I tug again, a little harder, when she stays firmly rooted in her spot. I furrow my brows in frustration, this kind of public defiance is exactly what had gotten her into the collar in the first place. As much as I find her wild, savage behaviour sexy and amusing there is only so much I can endorse her. I am Alpha and that means I need to be in control and respected by my pack.

Mate or not I will never have her jeopardize my position within the pack.

A growl begins to climb its way up through my throat as I grow ever more frustrated. However, once I look- really look- at her face, I realise her distant gaze. It’s almost as if she isn’t here.

Her eyes flicker briefly, though not with any sign of present awareness, it’s more of a glimmer as they begin to water. A fresh stream of tears begin to flow, and I feel my own heart tug with the sight.

A sudden urgency pulses within me to take her away, into some far corner and keep her all to myself. To make her happy. It rushes through my veins, hot as fire and cold as ice- my beast prowling, urging me forward.

I furrow my brows in agitation- both irritated at the situation and conflicted with how to deal with it. I can’t not show any sort of weakness to my pack, but my main concern right now is making sure my mate is ok.

In a split-second decision, I let out a feral growl which sends those closest to me scurrying away quickly not knowing what had set off their Alpha. Nobody wants to be in my way when I’m angry, it’s a risk that nobody dared to take.

Alexei approaches with a stoic interest. I simply look over to him to which he nods gently; a silent command to take over, to do his duty as a Beta, no longer just a pack member enjoying the festivities.

I approach Arashi, her face blank and pale as a sheet, her already ivory skin drained to an ashen, almost grey pallor. Her cheeks are stained by the tears that continue to fall, lips chapped and pale.

It’s an easy task to throw her over my shoulder, she does not give any resistance to my hold- if I didn’t know any better, I would have guessed that she is unconscious. Her small body fits perfectly over my shoulder, almost like she has been made to be close to me. I knew for a fact that it isn’t my imagination, or some kind of wishful thinking, because she fits me in every way. So much so that I want her with me, on me, next to me all the time, every day.

I have to shake the thought from my mind, forcing myself to focus on calming my mate and making sure she is ok.

I take her directly to my room, locking the door behind me. I place her down on the bed with a new gentleness that I didn’t know I possess. Her eyebrows furrow, and her skin lets off a piercing heat, I could see the sweat building on her forehead now.

This trance that she’s in, is sapping at her energy. I could do nothing but watch and hope that she’s strong enough to get through whatever this is. I have no idea what’s going on, but I hope that it doesn’t last much longer.

I can’t just stand by and watch as she whimpers and turns on the bed, it’s like a fire racing in my veins to try and make it stop. I strip her out of her dress, taking the collar off her neck, throwing it to the ground without a care before peeling off my own clothes, holding her to me.

I caress her naked skin, tracing over the delicate ink on her arms and back. Leaving tender kisses against her skin with every whimper she lets out. I just hope the small connection between us is enough to provide a little comfort.

I will be here for her, beside her, through the entire storm. Once the storm passes, I’ll be there to pick her up again and find out what the actual fuck happened.