Bittersweet Memories (Off-Limits)

I stare at the paperwork in front of me, unsure what to do. Everything I’ve fought to regain, gone with a single signature. It hits me even harder now that I know that my father truly intended for me to have everything I now own.

“You can’t do this,” Amy says, her tone pleading.

I shake my head and look away. “I don’t have a choice. Everything I’ve done has been for her. I’ve done everything within my power to protect her from the pain of her past, but I’ve reached the limit of what I can do. If I don’t put a stop to what Ryan is doing, I’ll lose her forever. With each lie he tells her, he distorts her memories, solidifying a false image of me. I can’t lose her again, Amy. I don’t think I can survive it. Besides, I can’t let this happen to her. I can’t let him take something so precious from her.”

“Silas, it’ll cost you everything. Is she really worth everything you spent years building? Please be rational. If she were to regain her memory, do you really think she’d want you to do this?”

I shake my head. “She wouldn’t, but what choice do I have?”

“We can always handle Ryan the way we’ve handled others.”

I chuckle, not in the least surprised at her ruthlessness. “We can’t. He’s my brother. While this document definitely ensures the end of any relationship between us, I won’t harm him.”

She nods, her expression dissatisfied. Amy glances at her watch and grimaces. “He’ll be here soon.”

Moments later, a knock sounds on my office door, and Ryan walks in. I look up at him, a strange kind of pain tugging at my heart. He’s my last remaining family member, and in the end, he betrayed me just like his mother did. I tried so hard to put him on the right path, shielding him from his mother’s intentions as best as I could, and all it earned me was a knife in the back.

Ryan sits down opposite me, his eyes on the documents. “Everything I’ve ever wanted in return for everything you’ve always wanted,” I murmur.

He looks up then, his expression unreadable. “You’d truly give up everything for her?”

I nod. “Without a second thought. Nothing I have is worth having, if I don’t get to share it with her. I’ll sign, but the moment it’s done, this is also the end of any relationship between you and me. I’m done, Ryan.”

I pick up the papers and straighten them, placing them in front of me before I pick up my pen, the very same one Alanna once gave me for my birthday, many years ago. Heartbreak of a different kind fills me as I sign on every single page, dropping the pen when it’s done.

This doesn’t just sign away all of my assets. It also cuts my little brother out of my life, once and for all. It’s the end of everything I’ve tried to do for him, every effort I’ve made to shield him from the feud between his mother and me. It’s proof that it was all in vain.

I push the papers toward him, and Ryan stares at them in shock, almost as though he truly didn’t believe I’d sign them. As if there’s anything I wouldn’t do for Alanna. She and I have already proven that we can live without worldly belongings. So long as I’ve got her, there’s nothing else I need. I just hope she feels the same way.

A commotion outside my office grabs my attention, and before I realize what’s going on, Alanna comes storming into my office, her hair a mess and tear marks marring her face.

“Si,” she says, her voice breaking. The look in her eyes has me freezing. She hasn’t looked at me quite in the same way in years.

“Oh God, Si.”

She bursts into tears and I jump out of my seat, rushing toward her just as her legs give in. I catch her before she falls, and Alanna reaches for me, her fingers tracing over my face.

“Baby, what’s going on? Are you okay? What happened?”

“I’m s-so sorry,” she sobs. “Si… I remember.”

I stare at her wide-eyed, certain my ears are deceiving me, but then she smiles at me in that way she used to.

“Really,” she promises. “I remember everything. The two of us living together in the shelter. The way you always used to tell me not to put myself into dangerous situations. You giving me that handkerchief on the day I buried my mother, and you buried your father. The way you drew the ψ symbol onto my rib. I remember the day you took my first kiss, and every first you’ve taken since. I remember it all. I’m sorry I didn’t recognize you straight away. I’m so sorry for everything I’ve put you through. I’m sorry, Si. I’m so sorry.”

I tighten my grip on her and hold her tightly. “You remember.”

She nods, her body heaving with the force of her sobs. “I’m sorry I made you worry so much throughout the years, Si. When we had that argument about me moving into college dorms, I was so upset that I wasn’t thinking straight. I got into a car accident, and when I woke up, I couldn’t remember anything. I never would’ve stayed away from you otherwise. Never.”

“It’s okay,” I promise her. “It’s okay, Ray. All that matters is that you found your way back to me.”

She nods, and I rub her back gently. If she remembers me, she must also remember her father. She’s cried so many bitter tears over him, and I’m worried that the pain feels fresh for her all over.

“Are you okay, my love? If you remember everything…”

She pulls away to look at me and nods. “I will be. I got through the pain once, thanks to you. I’ll do it again.”

I cup her face and wipe her tears away, my forehead dropping to hers. Alanna’s arms wrap around my neck, her lips pressing against mine with a years-old urgency.

This kiss hits differently. It’s filled with a thousand promises and a thousand apologies. “I love you so much, Silas,” she whispers against my lips. I groan and thread my hand through her hair, fisting it in my hand to bring her closer. Alanna comes willingly, and I deepen the kiss, needing all of her. This. So long as I’ve got this, I don’t need anything else.

The sounds of ripping paper pulls us apart, and we turn toward my desk to find Ryan ripping up the contract I just signed. He throws the shreds onto my desk and turns toward us with remorse brimming in his eyes.

I pull away from Alanna and take a step toward him, but before I can say a word, he walks out of my office, the door closing behind him.

I glance back at Alanna and gently brush her hair out of her face. The way she’s looking at me breaks my heart.

“I’m so sorry, Silas,” she whispers, her voice breaking.

“Don’t be,” I tell her. “All that matters is that you’re here with me now. The past doesn’t matter as much as the future does.”

She nods, and I take a step closer to her, grinning from ear to ear. I thought I’d lost her forever, yet the woman staring back at me with love shining through her eyes is undoubtedly my Ray.