Bittersweet Memories (Off-Limits)

I sign as I flex my fingers, tired from the hours of typing I’ve done. Sinclair Security was hired to investigate foreign influences on our elections, and our division has been put in charge of social media monitoring. We’re supposed to create an algorithm that’ll flag fake news, and I’ve been tasked with the initial design of it. I’m worried I can’t pull it off. While I understand how to get this done in theory, I’ve never had to do something like this in practise.

“Hot damn,” Josh mutters, and I glance over to find a beautiful dark-haired woman walking our way. She walks straight to Silas’s office, and much to my surprise, no one stops her. “Looks like our boss is taking his lunch break early today. What a snack.”

“Who is she?” I ask against better judgement.

Josh looks at me in surprise. “Are you serious? She’s a supermodel, and our boss’s girlfriend. Her name is Raven.”

Girlfriend? Silas has a girlfriend? My heart twists painfully as pure venom settles in my stomach. Did he touch me when he belongs to someone else? Is she the reason he’s rarely ever home at night? I see him every morning, but that doesn’t mean he’s sleeping in his own bed. He might just be coming in to change. Once, when I asked why he’s rarely home, he told me he’s just been busy with work. Was that all a lie?

I tense when the sound of Raven’s laughter fills the office, followed by Silas’s office door slamming closed. Josh laughs and shakes his head. “Lucky bastard,” he mutters.

I try my hardest to focus on my work, but all I can think about is Silas. In my mind, I see the two of them together, his hands on her body, the way they were on mine. This isn’t just simple jealousy. It hurts to see him with someone else, and I can’t figure out why.

I gather the files on my desk and shuffle them, barely able to think straight. Before I know what I’m doing, I’m out of my seat and halfway to Silas’s office. Amy looks up at me, and much to my surprise, she grins at me instead of stopping me from storming into Silas’s office.

I open his door with more force than I intended, freezing in the doorway when I see him leaning against his desk, Raven standing in between his legs, her hands on his chest. I grit my teeth as I resist the urge to tear her away from him.

“Alanna,” he says, frowning. Silas straightens and gently pushes Raven aside, but it isn’t enough for me. I want her out of his sight altogether.

I walk right up to him and put my folder down on his desk with barely restrained anger. “I have some questions about the work you assigned me.”

He looks at me, an intimate smile on his face. I’m standing closer to him than is appropriate, but I can’t get myself to care. “Is that so?”

“Yes.”

“And it couldn’t wait?”

I glance at Raven then. She’s watching the exchange between us with a curious expression. Just looking at her hurts. She’s so beautiful and elegant that it’s easy to see why Silas would have fallen for her. The thought of him comparing me to her kills me. When he’s been with a woman that beautiful, everyone else must fall short. What am I even doing?

I turn back toward him, my heart aching and my stomach clenching. Why did he sleep with me when he’s got a girlfriend? I feel terrible in more ways than one. Never once did it occur to me that I was the other woman that night.

I can’t stand here and pretend I did nothing wrong. I can’t take more from her than I already have. I rarely act impulsively, but today I couldn’t stop myself. It’s almost like I truly couldn’t think straight when I thought of the two of them together, but what right do I have to behave this way?

“You’re right,” I tell him, my tone defeated. “It can wait.”

I turn to walk away, my throat closing up. I never felt this upset about Ryan, so why am I reacting this way now?

Silas grabs my wrist, stopping me in place before I have a chance to escape. “Alanna,” he says, his voice soft and intimate. This is how he said my name that night. I turn back toward him but can’t get myself to raise my head and look at him.

“Raven, it was lovely seeing you, but I need to get back to work. Let’s catch up some other time, shall we?”

She nods and walks away with a smirk on her face, seemingly not at all offended. It’s clear she doesn’t remotely consider me competition, and for some reason, that just fuels my turmoil.

“Alanna,” Silas repeats the moment the door closes behind Raven. He pulls me toward him roughly, and I stumble, ending up in his arms. Before I have a chance to step back, he wraps his arms around me, caging me in.

“Look at me.” His tone is harsh, yet there’s a hint of the same need I feel. I reluctantly obey, my eyes finding his. “I broke up with her weeks ago. It was never serious in the first place. She and I have been dating on and off for ages, both of us well aware that our relationship was going nowhere. It was just convenient. That’s all it is. She has no feelings for me, and I definitely don’t feel a thing for her.”

I grit my teeth, unable to restrain my anger. “You asked me if I’d broken up with Ryan and watched me text him. I-I…” I hesitate, unsure what I’m even trying to say. In the end, the right words elude me, and I push against his chest.

Silas lets go of me, but his gaze follows my every move. “Forget it,” I tell him. “It’s none of my business what you do or who you do it with. I just hate the thought of playing a role in your adultery. If you two were truly over, she wouldn’t have been here today.”

Silas leans back against his desk, his hands on either side of him. “None of your business, huh? Yeah, I guess it isn’t. So you won’t mind if I take Raven home and fuck her the way I fucked you? You won’t mind hearing her moans in your bedroom?”

His words are like daggers that assault my already battered heart, and I take a step back. I inhale shakily and force a smile onto my face. “Of course I won’t mind, Silas. It would be somewhat awkward, though, so please let me know when you have a woman over, and I’ll be sure to leave the apartment. As it is, I don’t expect to be there for much longer. I’d hate to invade your privacy that way.”

He looks at me and shakes his head. “Little liar,” he whispers. “The only one you’re fooling is yourself.”

I bite down on my lip and turn away, rushing toward the door. I need to get away from him. What was I even thinking, storming in here the way I did? Why is it I never act rationally around him? I’m disappointed by my own behavior, yet I can’t control the way he makes me act.

“Alanna,” he says, and I pause with my hand on the door handle. “You’re the only woman I’ve ever taken to bed in my home. I’ve never taken a woman I was seeing to the home you and I live in.”

I glance back at him, surprised. If that’s true, why did he take me home? With each interaction, Silas leaves me more and more confused.