Bittersweet Memories (Off-Limits)

I step into the hallway and pause in front of the mirror, my heart racing as memories of Silas and me dance through my mind. I can’t look into this mirror without thinking of the way he bent me over in front of it, his eyes on mine as he pushed inside me.

The dress I’m wearing tonight hangs around my frame loosely, and I bite down on my lip harshly as I reach for the zipper on the back. I sigh softly as I stare at my reflection, admitting defeat to the little zipper that refuses to budge.

“Need help?”

I freeze when Silas walks up to me, pausing once he’s stood behind me. His eyes find mine through the mirror, our position similar to that night.

“You’re home.” We’ve been living together for a few weeks now, and in that time, he’s been home at night no more than a handful of times. I see him every morning, but never in the evenings. I’m unsure if he just works late every day, or if he’s spending his nights elsewhere.

My gaze roams over his body through the mirror, a dull ache spreading through my chest at the thought of him spending his nights in someone else’s bed. It’s irrational, and it’s crazy, but I can’t help the tinge of jealousy I feel. I keep trying to remind myself that sleeping with him is something I should be ashamed of, something I should regret, but being here in his home just makes me want it more.

Silas takes a step closer to me, his fingers trailing over my bare back as he takes his time to do my zipper up. “Where are you going, dressed like this?” His tone is commanding, a hint of possessiveness laced through it.

“The bar around the corner from the office.”

“With who?”

Silas places his hands on my shoulders and looks at me, our reflection staring back at us. Does he feel what I feel?

“Why do you ask?”

He smirks and turns me around, making me face him. Can he tell that I’m nervous? My chest rises and falls rapidly, my body tense. Being this close to him in this private space unnerves me. It makes it so much harder to pretend I don’t want him.

“Why can’t I ask?”

I smile at him nervously. “Jessica asked me to come. She told me the company does a mixer every month, so I thought it’d be good to go.” I haven’t really been able to get on well with my colleagues. Since I’m part of the ψ division, I’m not allowed to talk about any of the work I do, which makes it so much harder to have a conversation with any of my colleagues. It doesn’t help that rumors spread about Ryan and me dating, so now everyone thinks I’m only here because of him. I’m hoping tonight will give me a chance to set the record straight, if nothing else.

Silas nods. “I’ll drive you.”

“I… um, I can make my way there myself.”

He shakes his head. “I’m heading out, anyway.”

I hesitate for a moment before heading to my room to grab my clutch and slip on my heels. I’ve grown accustomed to seeing him every morning, and it’s rarely awkward. We usually just have a coffee together and make some small talk, both of us preoccupied with the day ahead, but tonight feels different.

Silas smiles at me when I walk back into the hallway, his eyes roaming over my body. The flash of lust in his eyes has me clenching my thighs, heat rushing to my cheeks. When he looks at me that way, it gets hard to remember that he’s my boss, my ex’s older brother.

“Let’s go,” he says, leading me down to the carpark.

“You’re taking a different car tonight?”

He nods as he walks toward a blue sports car, holding the passenger door open for me. I’m oddly nervous as I get in. We drive to work together most days, but something about tonight just feels different.

I sneak a glance at his forearms as he starts the car. The sleeves of his shirt are rolled up and the top button of his shirt is undone. Silas always looks neat and professional, but tonight he looks laid back. “Where are you going tonight?” I ask, before I even realize what I’m saying.

I clamp my lips shut immediately, but it’s too late. He glances at me, a lazy smirk spreading across his face.

“Why do you ask?” he murmurs, throwing my earlier question back at me.

I smile at him provocatively. “Why can’t I ask?”

Silas chuckles and shakes his head. “I’m having dinner with some of our senior staff tonight. I learned early on in my career that the best collaborative ideas come from less rigid settings, so tonight we’re doing a strategy session over dinner.”

I breathe a sigh of relief and nod. So not a date then. I shouldn’t even care, but I can’t help the possessiveness I feel. I hate the idea of Silas going on a date with someone. Ever since we slept together, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him. It’s like I’m enchanted, wanting more of his touch.

Silas parks the car and steps out, surprising me. I thought he’d just be dropping me off. “I’ll go in and say hi,” he tells me, following me in.

“Alanna!” Jessica shouts from a small table next to the bar. I grin and wave at her, making my way through the crowd toward her, Silas on my heels. I expected him to leave me the moment we stepped foot inside, but he hasn’t.

“Boss?” Jessica shouts, holding a shot glass up in the air. “Wow, you never usually attend these events! So I guess the secret is inviting your sister-in-law, huh?”

I feel Silas tense beside me and glance up at him. His expression looks calm, but I can feel the anger radiating off him. He wraps his arm around my waist and looks into my eyes. “Sister-in-law?” he asks, his eyes dropping to my lips. “You were never going to become my sister-in-law,” he says, his tone harsh. “Besides, didn’t Ryan and you break up before you even started at Sinclair Security? What is this bullshit?”

Jessica giggles, clearly intoxicated. “It’s just a joke, boss.”

He locks his jaw and stares her down. “It’s slander.”

“Silas,” I whisper, placing my hand on his chest. He looks so distressed by her words, and all I want to do is take away his anger. “Just leave it. She’s drunk.”

He looks into my eyes, his gaze searching, though what for, I’m not sure. He nods but doesn’t let go of me, his thumb drawing circles on my waist. I should pull away, but I find myself not wanting to.

“Look who it is!” Josh shouts, walking up to us with even more shots in his hands. Just how long have they been drinking? They’re both wasted. Josh holds a shot glass up to Silas, the drink spilling over the edges and onto his shirt. I’m relatively certain that Silas really regrets walking me in now.

He sighs and pulls his arm away to dab at his shirt, and I root through my clutch to find my handkerchief. I raise it to his chest and carefully wipe off the stain, though the damage is already done.

Silas wraps his hand over mine, but his gaze is on the handkerchief. He pulls it out of my hand and stares at the embroidered ψ logo on it.

“Oh! That’s not… it’s got nothing to do with the ψ division,” I tell him. “I’m not some kind of crazy person. This is mine. It’s something I’ve always had.”

He looks at me, his gaze intense. “Is that so? You carry this with you everywhere?”

I nod hesitantly. “Is there something wrong?”

Silas shakes his head and hands it back to me with an intimate smile on his face, his eyes filled with affection. “No. Nothing at all.”

His fingers brush against mine as I take the handkerchief from him, unable to look away. Silas Sinclair… he’s addictive, and I’m not even sure he realizes it.

“I wish I could stay and endure this with you,” he tells me, glancing back at my drunk colleagues, “but I need to head out or I’ll be late for dinner. Don’t be late, okay? And please, don’t end up like these two. Let me know when you’re done and I’ll come pick you up.”

I nod at him, unable to deny him even though I know I’ll take a taxi home, and then he walks away, leaving me staring after him, my heart racing.

“Damn it! I wanted to ask him about the rumors!” Jessica complains.

I turn back to her and frown. “What rumors?”

“I want to know if it’s true that Sinclair Security was founded because of a woman.”

Josh nods and holds up his finger. “It was. Everyone knows this,” he says, slurring his words.

I frown as I grab one of the shots he’s holding. The company was founded because of a woman? Who is she?

White hot jealousy sears through me as I listen to Jessica and Josh’s theories, my thoughts drifting. Could any of this be true? What kind of woman could possibly have Silas Sinclair so obsessed?