Bittersweet Memories (Off-Limits)

I stare up at the entwined double S on the building in front of me, wondering whether I should just walk away. I was so excited about this interview just a few weeks ago. The idea of working with Ryan at the company that bears his surname was amazing.

Now? Now I’m second-guessing myself. I’ve embarrassed myself in front of Silas enough now. The last thing I want to do is run into him again.

Not that I would. The building has twenty-seven floors. Surely the CEO doesn’t sit in on graduate interviews?

I take a deep breath and force myself to walk into the building. I’d be crazy not to attend this interview just on the off chance I might run into Silas. Sinclair Security is my dream company. I’ve wanted to work for them long before I even met Ryan.

“Good morning, Ms. Jones,” the lady behind the receptionist counter says before I can even tell her what I’m here for. My eyes widen, a thrill running down my spine. I’ve heard rumors about the staff here. They’re what I always imagined the FBI would be like — except privatized.

I look around for a name card, but there isn’t one. I nod politely, wondering whether this is a test. Should I have known her name too?

She smiles as though she can read my mind. “I’m Amy, and I’d honestly be quite upset if you knew that, because it’d mean I wasn’t doing my job.” She winks at me as she rises from her seat and guides me toward the elevators.

Her kind smile puts me at ease and I listen attentively as she tells me about the security measures in place at the elevator. “Fingerprint scans are sufficient for the lower floors, but any floor above fourteen requires a retinal scan,” she says as she leans into the scanner.

I only barely manage to contain my excitement. I knew Sinclair Security was high tech, but this is better than I even imagined. Amy presses the button for the top floor, and I blink in surprise as unease washes over me.

The top floor for graduate interviews… surely not. My suspicions are confirmed when she leads me through the quiet floor, until we’re standing in front of a corner office — one fit for a CEO.

“You’ll do great,” she tells me as she knocks on the door. “I have no doubt that we’ll be working together soon.”

She opens the door and takes a step back to let me pass. I hesitate, taking a moment to gather my courage and push down the dread that threatens to overwhelm me.

My stride is confident as I walk into the office, finding Silas sitting behind a large black desk. He looks up and smiles politely, his expression completely professional. I’m nervous as I sit down opposite him, but I’d like to think I managed to keep my cool.

Silas glances at a document in front of him, and I quickly realize that it’s my resume. “Tell me, why do you think you’d be a good fit for Sinclair Security?”

I stare at him in surprise. Is he serious? He can’t seriously be conducting my interview himself, can he? I force myself to get it together and answer the question the way I practiced.

“I… I’ve followed the growth of Sinclair Security for years now. I’m aware you started with private investigations and ended up growing this business to encompass security of all types, including cybersecurity. The research you do and the company’s trajectory are astonishing. I think Sinclair Security will become even more of a powerhouse than it currently is, and I’d love to be part of it.”

It’s true. I truly admire this company and all he’s done with it. It might be near impossible to find information on him online, but I hear the rumors from the industry experts I know. This company is astonishing and barely anyone even knows it even exists.

“You specifically applied to be part of the Ψ division, even though it’s the toughest division to get into. If you did your research at all, you’ll know that we mostly hire internally for this division. Why did you apply here instead of the other departments that are much easier to access?”

I look down at my hands for a moment, startled by the question. “I’m intrigued by the secrecy surrounding this department, and I love a good challenge. The opportunity to work with some of the brightest minds in the country isn’t one I could let slip by, even if my chances of joining are slim.”

He stares at me as though he knows I’m lying and shakes his head. “Tell me the full truth, Alanna.”

I look into his eyes, finding encouragement in them. “I don’t know,” I whisper truthfully. “I don’t know, Silas. All I know is that I belong here. When I first heard of the Ψ division, I just knew. That makes no sense, and I know that it doesn’t, but it is the truth. I feel like I’ll find the answers I’m seeking here.”

“What answers are you seeking?” he asks, his voice soft.

“I’m looking for someone,” I admit. “Someone I keep dreaming of. I can’t keep this from you because I know you’ll do a full background check before you’ll even consider hiring me, but I suffer from amnesia. Despite that, there’s someone I keep dreaming of. I don’t know who it is, but I feel like someone out there is waiting for me. I have no intention of using corporate resources to find this person. Please don’t misunderstand. I just… I just feel like being here gets me a step closer.”

He stares at me, and for a moment, I’m certain he’ll ask me to leave his office and never return, shredding my resume in the process. Instead, he nods and proceeds to ask me basic interview questions. Much to my relief, the interview proceeds that way, with Silas asking questions I’ve prepared for.

Just when I think I’m in the clear, Silas drops his pen on top of my resume and stares me down. “Have you wanted to work here since before you met Ryan?”

The personal question throws me off. He’s been so professional since I walked in here that he made it easy to forget what he told me. If he doesn’t think I’m good enough to be with his brother, why would he think I’m good enough for his company?

“That’s right,” I tell him, unsure what else to say.

Silas nods. “So you don’t solely want to work here to be with Ryan?”

I grit my teeth in annoyance. I hate this. I hate that so many people assume I’d be nothing without him, that I’ll follow wherever he goes. Ryan is a great guy and I do see a future with him, but that doesn’t mean I’ll forget about my own plans and goals.

“No,” I say, my voice deceptively sweet. Silas Sinclair. I wish I could throw something at him and walk out of his stupid office, but I want this job too badly.

He stares at me, an irritating smile on his face, and it becomes harder to resist temptation. I want to walk away and slam his door as loudly as I can, preferably in his stupid, annoyingly handsome face. Instead, I smile back at him.

He turns his laptop to me, his gaze unreadable once again. “Crack this, and you’re hired. I want the password to this email address within ten minutes. You can use any of the software already installed on my laptop, including the software you’ll need if you know what you’re doing.”

I glance at the piece of paper he hands me and frown. Silas@sinclair.com? He’s asking me to give him the password to his own email address? I bite down on my lip, unsure if he’s giving me a near impossible task just to keep me from joining his firm. The man is an enigma.

“Have you asked this of all applicants?”

Silas smiles. “Yes.”

“Has anyone managed it yet?”

He nods. “One person.”

I breathe a sigh of relief. If it’s possible, then I can do it too.

“Do you interview all applicants yourself?”

He smirks. “Why? Did you think you were special?”

This man. How does he always get under my skin? Why can’t he just be sweet and kind like Ryan is? The two of them couldn’t be more different.

I grit my teeth and start to type, channeling all my annoyance into my work. This is the one thing I’m good at. I might fail at most things in life, but when it comes to security testing, I never fail.

My heart races as I type, and I barely keep from smiling. This doesn’t even feel like work. I could do this all day, just for the hell of it. I love the thrill.

Ten minutes. That’s all the time it takes me, considering everything he’s got installed. I smirk when Silas’s password is revealed, only for that smile to melt off my face when I realize what it is. Perasperaadastra. Per aspera ad astra. Through adversity to the stars. It’s the exact same phrase I have tattooed on my rib. How could it be?

I swallow hard as I look up at him, slowly turning his laptop back to him. Silas… there’s no way he could’ve known. Is he mocking me somehow? Did Ryan tell him about my tattoo?

He stares at me, and I wish I could read him. I want to know what he’s thinking. I want to know the story behind his password. Is it all just to throw me off, or is there more to it?

“You’re hired,” he says, his voice soft.

I nod, my thoughts whirling. “I… thank you, Silas.” I hesitate before asking a question I know I shouldn’t ask. “You aren’t going to make me breaking up with Ryan a requirement for hiring me?”

He looks at me, his expression entirely blank. “No,” he says, sounding… tired. “I keep my personal life and my business strictly separate. I expect you to do the same if you wish to succeed here. This isn’t an easy firm to be at.”

My cheeks heat of embarrassment. I shouldn’t have asked. All I accomplished was making myself look unprofessional. Why is it that I constantly feel unlike myself when I’m around Silas?

“Of course,” I nod, rising from my seat. I need to get out of here before I make an even bigger fool of myself.

“I’ll see you on Monday. Congratulations.”

I turn back to him when I reach his door. “See you on Monday,” I say, praying to God that I won’t. With a bit of luck, I’ll be able to avoid him at work just fine.

Luck… yeah right. When has Lady Luck ever smiled down on me?