SWNOVELS Before the Storm: Chapter 48
Tearing myself away from Ayvah when she looks so… defeated, is like tearing my own fucking heart from my chest. I’ve never wanted to clip her wings, but if her words are anything to go by, that’s exactly what I’ve done. I’ve only ever wanted to keep her safe, but if she’s miserable, is that really any feat?
I swing the door open and glare at the man on the other side. “What do you need, Carl?” I all but snarl at our front gate security guard. Out of all our staff, he’s probably the only one I trust implicitly outside the family. He’s been with us since day one, he saw the girls grow up, and he felt genuinely guilty when Wynter and I were held hostage a few months ago. The older man has fine lines under his eyes, his graying hair recedes further each year, but his brown eyes are kind.
“Something was dropped at the gate for you, sir. I thought you’d want to see it straight away.” He holds out a yellow envelope with my name scrawled across the front. “I triple-checked it’s not dangerous with that fancy machine Everett installed in the booth.”
I nod and blow out a breath. Every time we have a package delivered to the gate, it’s bad fucking news, and if the feeling in my gut is anything to go by, this is just another case of that. “Thank you, Carl,” I say as calmly as I can manage. “Would you mind please calling Everett, Rayne, and Elijah, and have them come here as soon as possible?”
“Of course, sir.” He gives me a tight smile before turning on his heel and heading back toward the front door. He’s the only guard that’s allowed to step foot through the front door without being expressly invited, and he doesn’t abuse that right.
I blow out a breath and press my eyes closed, my hand tightening around the envelope. I turn back to Ayvah to find her head bowed, her shoulders shaking as gentle sobs fill the otherwise quiet dining room.
“Just go,” she chokes on her tears and I’m moving across the room before I’ve even consciously made the decision to do so. I dump the envelope on the table and return to kneeling in front of her. Tears stain her cheeks and it breaks me. I’ve never much cared about anyone else’s feelings, including my siblings, but Ayvah is a whole different story. I feel her emotions so deeply that they may as well be my own.
“Baby girl,” I whisper, brushing the tears from her cheeks with my thumb. I can’t handle her tears. Each one is like a stab to my heart.
“Storm, I can’t do this right now.” She pushes my hands from her face and shoves her chair back. She stumbles from her seat, but I can’t let her go when she’s like this. I can’t allow her to hurt on her own.
I grab her around the waist and tug her back into my body, holding her tight against me as she shakes with each sob that quakes through her body.
“Baby girl, please don’t cry. I can’t handle your tears.” The honest words slip from my lips before I can stop them. But I suppose it doesn’t matter if Ayvah knows my weakness, because everything about her is just that. She has the power to bring me to my knees, and that’s dangerous for a man like me.
“Let me go,” she chokes, pushing at my arms banded around her waist.
“Never.”
“You can’t promise me that.”
“Yes, I can, Ayvah. I’ll promise you the whole goddamn world if it means you’ll stop crying.”
She shoves at my arms, and I have no choice but to let her go. She flees from the dining room before I can reach for her again, and I’m left standing alone, exactly as I’ve been my whole life. Getting close to people is a liability, and Ayvah is exactly that.
After Ayvah disappeared from the dining room, I made my way to my office to wait for the others. Although my experience with women and relationships is limited, I know I need to give her some time to cool down. She’s upset and me badgering her about it is only going to make things worse.
The door swings open as I’m pouring my third glass of whiskey. Having Ayvah upset is putting me on edge and the burn of the liquor slipping down my throat seems to be easing it just enough to make it bearable.
Rayne and Everett stroll through the door with Elijah hot on their heels. Each of them is dressed in casual clothes and none of them seem particularly pleased to be here. I don’t blame them after all. We’d all rather be with our women than working another late night, but this is the life we each chose.
“I thought we agreed we were having tonight off to spend with the women?” Elijah snaps.
“That was before that was delivered to the gate.” I nod toward the unopened envelope.
Everett’s face pales at the sight. After a series of disturbing packages were delivered to Wynter a few months back, I’m not entirely surprised he looks like he’s seen a ghost.
I hold the liquor bottle up, silently asking if they want a drink, but all three of them shake their heads immediately. I place the bottle down and bring my own glass to my lips, relishing in the burn of the liquor. I’ve never been much of a drinker, but right now, I need it to hold my nerve. Something deep in my gut tells me whatever’s in this envelope is the beginning of the end.
Everett reaches for the unsuspecting yellow package and slides his finger through the fold, tearing it open. He peaks inside before blowing out a breath and dumping the contents onto the desk.
Photos. So many fucking photos nausea rolls over me as we each take in the images in front of us. Ayvah asleep in our bed. Wynter laughing with Snow in Elijah’s house. Emerson at the youth center and in Rayne’s apartment. All the places we consider safe for our women have been infiltrated. Annalise is proving to us that her words the night of the charity event were true. She can get to them anytime she wants, and it’s like a bucket of ice-cold water has been dumped over my head.
“We should send them away,” Elijah says immediately.
“Are you fucking insane?” Rayne snaps, rage flaring to life in his almost black eyes as he glares at our brother-in-law.
“No, I want my wife alive, and the last time Annalise got it into her head that she was going to start targeting our women, she fucking kidnapped Snow and Wynter and tried to burn them alive,” Elijah growls. I hate to admit it because up until a few months ago, I hated this man and everything he stood for, but he loves my sister fiercely, and that means he’ll always do what’s best for her.
“I’m not putting Emerson’s safety in the hands of strangers.” Rayne glowers.
I take a seat behind the desk and gesture for the three of them to do the same but they all remain standing. We have to hash out a plan, something more than just listening to phone calls and hoping for them to slip up. It’s not enough anymore, not when we receive packages like this. “I suggested this plan of attack after Elijah and Snow’s wedding. It was becoming abundantly clear that they were ahead of us at every turn, and I wasn’t willing to put my sisters in harm’s way,” I admit.
Rayne and Everett turn their heated stares on me, but I won’t back down. I stand by what I said, and if we had had that conversation a few days earlier and had acted on it, Wynter and Snow would have been spared significant pain and suffering. “You can’t be serious,” Everett says, his hands fisted at his sides. He’s barely holding onto his composure, but I think we can all relate to that at this point.
I nod. “It’s an option. We have allies in Europe. They would be safe there until we can take Annalise down and ensure they’re safe here.” But even as the words leave my mouth, I know it’s not going to happen. Rayne and Everett will never agree to it, and I’m not sure I can allow Ayvah to get on a plane without me. She’s still too uncertain in our relationship, which means she’s a flight risk. A week ago, I may have agreed, because a week ago Ayvah was happy to be here, but after tonight, after seeing the tears drip down her cheeks as she told me how lonely she is in this life, I can’t risk it.
“It’s not happening,” Rayne roars. “How do I know I can trust these allies? I’ve never even fucking met them.”
“I’m not sending my pregnant fiancée away for an undetermined amount of time,” Everett adds. “I’m not missing the birth of my daughter, and I’m certainly not allowing Wynter to go through the most painful parts of pregnancy and birth without me by her side. It’s just not happening.”
“You could go with them,” Elijah suggests. “You can do all your tech stuff from there, and you can make sure they’re safe.”
Rayne shoves his chair back, the heavy wood flipping onto its back as he advances on Elijah with clenched fists. “My wife is not going to the other side of the goddamn world, Russo.” He grips him by the collar of his shirt and shoves him into the wall. “One more word out of your fucking mouth, and I’ll make sure you can’t speak for a month.” His words are full of feral rage, and I know if he goes much further, we won’t be able to drag him back. Rayne has been calmer since Emerson came into his life, but even she can’t permanently tame the beast inside him.
“Enough.” I slam both hands down on my desk and shove myself to my feet. “All this bickering is exactly what she wants. We need to get on the same page, and we need to do it right fucking now.”
“And how exactly do you propose we do that, Storm?” Elijah asks the moment Rayne releases him. He rubs his neck but doesn’t outwardly show any pain. He’s been trained not to show fear, not to allow his pain to be obvious, and I have a feeling that’s a habit he’s never going to get out of.
“We’re not sending the women overseas. At this point, after a direct threat on them, that’s exactly what she’s going to expect.”
“So what other option do we have?” Elijah asks.
“I think it’s time we start testing what drags Annalise out of her hiding place.” I smile at the idea of taking this bitch down for ever daring to threaten my family and my woman. She’s about to learn that fucking with the Saint James family is the worst mistake she’s ever made in her miserable fucking life.