SWNOVELS Before the Storm: Chapter 47
We’ve fallen into a comfortable routine over the last few weeks. Storm gets up in the mornings and leaves the room before the sun rises, but never misses giving me a kiss before he goes. He meets me in the kitchen for breakfast and lunch, and then we have dinner with whatever family members are at the estate at the time.
I’m still a little confused about who actually lives here and who doesn’t because they seem to come and go so frequently, but with the threat hanging over our heads, they’re here more and more. Not that I mind. It’s lonely on the days it’s just Storm and me. Even though my upbringing was less than ideal, I was never alone, and some days the silence is deafening.
After dinner, Storm will normally work on his laptop in the lounge room or the bedroom so he can spend some time with me, but it’s not really quality time. He spends the whole time with a furrowed brow glaring at the screen like whatever is on it has personally offended him, or on his phone barking orders at whoever is at the other end.
On the nights when he’s not with me, he’s either out until the early hours of the morning, or he’s holed up in his office with Rayne, Everett, or Elijah making plans. Those are the nights he comes in and wakes me up so he can take me. The tension in his shoulders as he pounds into my body with restless need only eases once he’s spent himself inside me, and then he tugs me against his body and falls asleep within minutes. Those are also the nights I don’t sleep.
The longer I’m here, the more I feel like I’m just a convenience to him. A warm hole to stick his dick in when he has a few minutes, and that thought makes my heart ache. I’m so deeply in love with him that I’m not sure I could leave even if he would let me, but we both know he won’t. As far as he’s concerned, I’m his property just the same as this house.
But at least I have my studies. They’re just about the only thing keeping me sane at the moment. Even if I’m pretty sure I’ll never be allowed out of this estate to practice teaching, but I try not to think about that too much because it makes my existence that much more meaningless.
“You’re quiet,” Storm comments from the other side of the dining table. It’s just us tonight. I’ve been cooking in my free time just to give me something to do, and the Ragu I spent the day slow cooking is tender just the way the recipe said it would be.
I shrug. There’s no point in pointing out all the reasons I’m unhappy, because nothing will change. Storm can’t stop working because between the transition of the Frost Industries shares and balance of power, and the threat of war on the horizon, there’s no time for him to be spending with his eighteen-year-old girlfriend. If that’s what you want to call me. And there’s even less chance he’s going to allow me to step foot out of this house. So why waste my breath.
His eyebrows pull together and he drops his fork to the bowl before resting his elbows on the table. “What’s wrong, baby girl?”
“Nothing.” I follow his lead, sitting back in my seat and looking down at my hands in my lap.
“Don’t lie to me, Ayvah. You won’t like the consequences,” he rumbles.
The sound of his chair sliding back along the carpet alerts me to the fact he’s moving, but I don’t look up. Each day I’ve been here has felt longer than the last, and I have a feeling they’re only going to get longer. There’s only so much schoolwork, television and cooking I can shove into a day before I go mad.
He tugs my chair back suddenly and kneels in front of me. It’s a strange power shift to see a man like Storm on his knees in front of me, but he never hesitates to get down on my level, and perhaps that’s the most surprising part about our entire relationship.
I look up and meet his concerned gray eyes. It makes my heart ache that he worries about me. That the man with the world on his shoulders, his family’s lives in his hands, still cares about whatever insignificant thing is going on in my mind.
“Ayvah, what happened? Did someone upset you?”
I shake my head even though it’s not entirely the truth. He upset me. But it’s not fair for me to hold his actions against him. I knew who he was before I fell in love with him. I knew he was going to steamroll me at every opportunity, that he was going to be overbearing and overprotective, and that he was going to keep me locked up here like a prisoner despite having the label of his girlfriend.
He watches me closely, as if he’s trying to read my mind so he doesn’t have to wait for me to tell him what’s wrong. But I can’t. I can’t admit that I’m lonely. I can’t tell him that every day I’m here is another day further removed from the person I was when he took me. I may not have been much, but at least I had my identity.
“Ayvah, if you don’t tell me what’s wrong, I can’t fix it.” Storm’s hands rest on my knees and squeeze gently.
I drag my lip between my teeth, considering my words before they leave my mouth. “I’m lonely. I’m here by myself all day. The guards won’t speak to me, your sisters and brother are only here some days and they’re usually busy. I just… I feel really alone.” I don’t mean for my words to sound so broken, but I guess that’s just how I’m feeling at the moment.
Storm opens his mouth to reply, guilt crossing his handsome features but before he can get the words out, there’s a knock at the dining room door.
I close my eyes to warn off the stray tears that spring to my eyes. I can’t even talk to him without someone interrupting us. Is this how the rest of our lives are going to be if he decides to keep me? Will he ever see his children if we have any? Is this the life I accidentally signed myself up to the night I was almost sold to the highest bidder?
Storm growls before shoving himself to his feet and taking long steps to the door. I don’t bother to watch him as tears slip down my cheeks. I don’t know if I can do this for the rest of my life. I don’t know if I can be what he needs to be. I’ve spent the last eighteen years without love and affection, and I don’t think I can keep doing it for the rest of my life.