Beating Heart: A Small Town, Single Dad Romance (Magnolia Falls Series Book 4)

“Who was that guy, Em?” Collin hissed from behind me as I stormed into my house, and Winnie followed us inside.

The nerve of this guy, just showing up here and thinking he was entitled to ask me anything.

“That is none of your damn business. What are you even doing here?” I dropped my purse on the counter and crossed my arms over my chest as I turned to face him.

It had been a long day at the office. I’d had a great interview, but then my text with Nash had left me feeling off. It was the first night in weeks that he hadn’t wanted to hang out. All my insecurities were coming out in full force, and then I’d come home to find the devil himself standing on my front porch.

“Well, you won’t take my calls, and I needed to speak to you.” He looked different. Tired. Pale. Frazzled.

Although Nash definitely added to Collin’s anxiety when he stormed over here like a freaking caveman.

It took all that I had not to kick Collin out and jump into Nash’s arms. I’d missed him all day, and I’d been disappointed that I wouldn’t be seeing him tonight, which was why I’d worked late.

But I needed this to end with Collin, so I’d have one final conversation with him if that would mean he would stop trying to reach me. I motioned for him to sit down on the couch, and I took the chair across from him, my dog lying right beside my chair protectively. “There is nothing more to talk about, Collin. You need to let this go and move on. I have.”

“I can see that. So, are you fucking him?”

“I’m going to give you the next two minutes to tell me why you’re here, and then I’m going to tell you to leave. My personal life is none of your damn business.”

“So it means nothing that I’ve not been sleeping or eating because I miss you? You won’t speak to me. You’re clearly fucking some random dude. And I’m the bad guy?” He threw his hands in the air.

It was the strangest thing. I’d spent more than a decade with this man, yet sitting here, with him acting completely unhinged—it did nothing to me.

I felt nothing.

I was more anxious about Nash being upset.

A man I’d only known for a few months.

A man who made me feel—everything.

“Collin.” My voice was completely calm and lacking any emotion. “I know how much you like to be the smartest guy in the room, and you like to wield it like some sort of trophy over everyone’s heads. But it won’t work here. You are the bad guy because you fucked my best friend for months before our wedding day.”

“I lost my mind, Emerson. Your residency was a nightmare, and you were working such long hours, and I was—I don’t know,” he pushed to his feet and paced around the room, “I was lonely.”

“You should have talked to me. But it wouldn’t have changed anything, Collin. I was in my final year of residency. Those are the hours that I was required to work. And you were traveling all the time anyway. You didn’t want to live together before we were married, so yeah, we were living separate lives. I get it. But I never once considered straying. I thought we were just going to get through those final challenging months, and after the wedding, we’d be on the other side of it,” I said, as he dropped back down to sit across from me.

He buried his head in his hands, and Winnie lifted her head to look at him before setting it back down. “What can I do to fix this, Em?”

“You can’t fix it. You can’t talk your way out of it or throw money at it. The truth is, we weren’t working, Collin. I was just too busy to realize it at the time. I didn’t know anything different, and sure, we had some good times over the years. But we were spending less and less time together these last three years. We both played a part in that,” I said, holding my hands up when he looked like he’d just found his opening. “But let me tell you what I didn’t do. I didn’t fuck another man while we were together. Let alone your best friend. It’s irreparable, Collin.”

“So you just waited until I was the bad guy, and then you fucked another man? Weeks after we were supposed to be married.” He raised a brow.

It hit me in that moment that this was what he always did. He was relentless when it came to winning an argument. And most of the time, people backed down. Hell, I’d probably backed down hundreds of times over the years because it just wasn’t worth the fight.

“Oh, my gosh. This is what you do, Collin.”

“What am I doing now?” he groaned.

“You just argue until you get your way.”

“No, I don’t. I’m just trying to win back the woman I love. This is me, fighting for you.”

“It’s a pattern. When you didn’t want to live together, I thought it was ridiculous. We’d been dating for years. We were engaged. We were both paying rent at two expensive apartments in the city. But you wanted to wait. You insisted that it was the proper thing to do. And I’m guessing that was really convenient, considering you were fucking my best friend for six months.” I shrugged, all of it hitting me like a ton of bricks now.

“I was trying to respect you by not living together first,” he said.

A maniacal laugh escaped my mouth, and his eyes widened. “Respect me? Do you even hear yourself? You have zero respect for me after what you’ve done. Collin, there is no me and you. We are as done as anyone can get. And honestly, part of me wants to forgive you because I’m happy now. Happier than I think I’ve been in a very long time. And I want us both to be free of this anger. But the betrayal and the fact that you have ruined my relationship with my best friend—I don’t know how to ever forgive you for that. You could have chosen anyone.”

His eyes widened in shock. “So you don’t care that I cheated. You care that I cheated with Farah?”

“In this moment… yes. Because you and I are done either way. It wouldn’t have mattered who you’d cheated with; I would have walked away from you, regardless. We clearly had nothing worth fighting for because I’ve never once thought about trying to work it out with you since the moment that I found out what you did.” My words were harsh but true. A lump formed in my throat. “I’m just sad that it had to end this way.”

“So you aren’t willing to go to relationship counseling with me?” he asked.

“No. There’s nothing to fix here. We’re better apart. I know it. You know it.” My gaze locked with his. “What are you even fighting for? We weren’t happy, or you wouldn’t have strayed. This is just about winning for you, Collin. And there’s nothing to win.”

“You’re wrong, Em. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.” He clasped his hands together.

“Well, if that’s true, I’m sorry for you, because there’s no turning back. But for me, that relationship was not the best thing that ever happened to me. Not even close. And you need to believe me when I tell you that we’re done. I don’t have anything else to say to you.”

“You don’t miss me? Miss us?” he pressed, and I was frustrated that he was still pushing.

“I don’t.” His eyes were locked with mine, and he finally nodded.

I could see it there in his light blue eyes. He finally got it. He knew it was over.

“You’ve never looked at me the way you were looking at him, Em,” he whispered.

“What?”

“Your neighbor. I knew it the minute he came running over. I still thought I could fight for you. Make you see my point. But I lost before I even arrived here.”

“Collin, you lost the minute I found out about you and Farah. You and me being done has nothing to do with Nash.” I cleared my throat. “But I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that he’s shown me how good things can be. How it should be when you’re with someone. You and I haven’t had that in a very long time.”

“Had what?”

“The loyalty. The passion. The friendship. The love. Any of it. We were just good on paper.”

“Don’t say that. I finally accept that it’s over. But don’t say we never had anything.” He swiped at his cheek when a tear rolled down his face. “I’m sorry, Em. I’m so fucking sorry for what I did. I hope someday you’ll be able to forgive me.”

“I hope there’s a time when we can all forgive and forget. I’m just not there yet, and you need to stop calling and pushing, okay?”

He nodded. “Okay.”

“Hey, Collin,” I said, mustering the strength to say what I needed to say next.

“Yeah?”

“You must have had some kind of feelings for Farah to have carried on for as long as you did.” I clasped my hands together, because I didn’t want to care about her, but I still did.

“It was a mistake. It shouldn’t have happened.”

“But it did.” I reminded him. “And I know she’s going through a hard time, and I can’t be there for her. But you should be. You two got into this together. And you’ve got all the support from your family. She’s alone, and you know it. So if there were any feelings worth exploring, I think you should explore those with her. You and I can’t repair what we had, but maybe you and her have something deeper than you want to admit.”

“Wow. You’re really done with me.” His gaze searched mine. “You’re in love with this guy, aren’t you?”

I didn’t answer him.

I didn’t need to.

I sure as hell wasn’t going to tell Collin something that I should be telling Nash.

“Just remember that you cared enough to carry on with her for months. She’s alone right now, Collin, and if you’re avoiding her because you think I’m going to care, you’re wrong.”

“I hear you loud and clear, Emerson. Do you think you can call your brothers and your cousins off the warpath? I’ll agree to leave you alone, but I’d like to be able to go to Rosewood River without feeling threatened.”

I rolled my eyes, even though I knew he was right. They were an intimidating bunch, and I’m sure they wouldn’t hesitate to scare the shit out of him.

“If it means we can move forward, yes. No more calls. No more texts from other phones. I’ll ask my family to back off when they see you next.”

He nodded and stood. “Thank you. I wanted to offer you the tickets for our honeymoon. I can’t cancel it, and it’s prepaid. You can go and get away for a bit. Seems like the least I could do.”

“Thanks for the offer, but you can go ahead and use them. My getaway was coming here to Magnolia Falls, and it’s been exactly what I needed.”

“I can see that.” He cracked his knuckles, a habit that he’d had for as long as I’d known him. He walked toward the door. “I want you to be happy, Em. You deserve it.”

“I’m actually really happy, Collin. I wish things hadn’t gone down the way that they did, but I think we’re both better for it.” I pulled the door open and paused. “I want you to know that I wish you the best. I don’t wish you ill will. I may not be able to be your friend right now, and maybe I never will be, but I do want the best for you.”

His eyes were wet with emotion, and he forced a smile. “I want the best for you, too. I need you to know that I will regret what I did to you for the rest of my life. I’m really sorry. Thanks for hearing me out today.”

I nodded and watched as he walked to his car.

I hadn’t wanted to speak to him, but I knew this was necessary and final.

And I didn’t feel any sort of sadness about it. All I felt was relief.

But what surprised me the most was where my mind kept going.

I wasn’t sad or heartbroken after seeing Collin. My boyfriend of ten years. My ex-fiancé and the man I was supposed to spend my life with.

Instead, all I could think about was the man next door.

The one who’d flown into a rage at the sight of my ex being here.

The man I missed if I didn’t see him every single day.

The man I realized in this moment that I’d fallen in love with.