A Thousand Heartbeats

I woke to the sound of birds again. It was such a peaceful way to begin the day, even one marked with uncertainty. As I came to, other sounds joined the birds: Blythe packing her tent, Andre pouring water over the embers, and Inigo groaning a little as he stretched.

I wiped the sleep from my eyes and started packing.

“What are you going to do?” Inigo asked.

I looked over at him, noting that Blythe’s and Andre’s gazes both followed as I did. “What?”

Inigo huffed. “I know you’re still thinking about the plan. So, you’ve got a choice now. You have to either let it go and focus on whatever is coming for us today . . . or you can tell Kawan. You can ask for us to go ahead to the castle.”

Sherwin, Griffin, and Rami had now finished their tasks and were following the conversation through silent glances.

“Look at our numbers. He might let a handful of us go,” Inigo offered.

I considered for a moment. If my suspicions were correct, and their king wasn’t sincere in this treaty, a move on the castle could only make things better. If I was wrong, and they were truly trying to make peace with us, I couldn’t name a single person in the army who wanted that, so even a failed attempt at the castle wouldn’t ruin anything.

I sighed. “I’ll be back.”

I wove through the sea of people in various states of readiness for the day, marching up to Kawan. He glanced over at me, rolling his eyes before I even approached.

“Everyone toward the back ready?” he asked.

“Not yet. But I have a proposition for you.”

Beside him Aldrik was running his whetstone over his sword, not bothering to acknowledge I was there. Maston and Illio were checking over carts, but I didn’t see Slone or my mother.

“Make it quick,” Kawan said, impatience painting his voice.

“With your permission, I’d like to take a small group to secure the castle in Dahrain. With the way the prisoners behaved yesterday, I believe this summit will be less peaceful than originally thought. I feel certain that their forces will be focused on the Island and that the throne will be unguarded. It gives us a second advantage in that, even if they take some of our number and even if they escape, they’ll have nowhere to run. We’ll be waiting.”

I did my best to make sure my plan didn’t sound like a contradiction to his but rather an addition.

Even so, he was unimpressed. “You are never content, are you?”

“Sir?”

“If you aren’t showing off with your sword, then it’s your wit. If not your wit, then the stars. And if none of that, then you feel you have to undo my plans and bend them to yours.” His lips were curling into a snarl. “You are convinced that you’re better than me, aren’t you?”

The word never escaped my lips, but it flashed to my mind in an instant: Yes.

It was a mistake that I let my lips curl up into an exhausted smile, that I let my arms rise and fall in a moment of pure incredulity. In the split second after these motions, he reached out, grabbing me by the neck.

His breath smelled like something dying, and his voice was quiet as he spoke less than an inch from my face.

“Everyone else can fall in line. Why can’t you? Do you intend to usurp me?” he asked.

If I can get a clean cut.

“Unfounded suspicion will not help us in this moment, sir,” I answered calmly. “We’re about to face our enemy.”

He swung his arm so quickly, I didn’t see it coming. But I felt the skin by my eye pull apart where he struck me, the heat of running blood following shortly after. I stumbled back, still on my feet but dizzy from the blow.

“If you can’t be smart enough to humble yourself before me, I’ll do it for you,” he told me. “Whatever you think you’re going to take from me, you will fail.”

I stared at him. “All I want is what you promised. You vowed to lead our people to a life that should have always been ours. I’m offering to help you achieve that end.” I raised the eyebrow that was bleeding. “It doesn’t sound like I’m the one struggling with humility.”

He swept a foot under mine, bringing me to the ground.

“You will learn your place!” he screamed, drawing the attention of those nearby. “And you will follow my lead, or you will, for once, find yourself on the receiving end of a blade.”

“We both know you don’t have the guts,” I said, my pride acting a little faster than my head.

He pulled back, kicking me square in the ribs, and I curled in on myself like a child, the scent of wet grass swirling around me.

Kawan bent down, resting his hands on his knees as he spoke. “If you want to live long enough to see Dahrain, I suggest you shut your mouth.” He turned back to his task, and I was left humiliated on the ground.

I stood slowly, but the rumors were traveling faster than I could, and I caught people passing whispers both before and after I could walk past them. When I got about halfway through, two of the younger recruits came running up.

“We had a question. We . . .” The boy, no older than thirteen, took in my face, blood down one end, dirt down the other, and lost his train of thought. I gave him a moment, but I was in no mood for stupidity.

“What is it?” I asked. Well, barked.

They both took two steps back, but the quiet one nudged the other, urging him to just get it over with.

“Well . . . we’re in charge of taking the horses back. The sun is rising there,” he said, pointing. “And I put a stick in the ground, and the shadow says that east is that way, too,” he added. “And if we veer slightly north, we should hit the castle before nightfall. That’s right, isn’t it?”

He looked up at me, his hope at being right winning out over his fear. I couldn’t help the tiny smile that tugged at my lips. “Long before nightfall. Good job.”

The boy let out a ragged breath. “Thank you, sir.”

“Use the bit of sky you can see in that forest, all right? Don’t rely on a compass; it won’t work.”

They nodded. The quiet one clapped the other on the back, and they both ran off, ready to do their part. I watched them a moment, proud. I’d taught them something. They’d held on to it, and that would help us all in some small way today. I couldn’t feel the ache in my ribs anymore.

I slowly made my way back to the group, the state of my face telling them everything they needed to know. Rami went to work, finding something to dip in water so I could clean off my wound.

“That settles that,” Andre said.

Rami carefully wiped away the blood as Blythe and Inigo watched, grimacing at her every movement.

“All we can do is be alert today. And patient.”

If Kawan had heard me say that, he’d have hit me again. Who was I to be giving orders? But I didn’t care. If he was solely focused on saving himself, then someone else had to save my people.