A Mother's Love

Once again the dream started flashing forward. May saw images of Fawn get on a bus and heading north to a small town in the mountains of New Hampshire. She sees Fawn checking in to lodge of cabins and registering under the name of Tess Marlow. She didn’t want to use her own name because she knew that the agency was probably looking for her already. Fawn paid for a month rental in cash and told the proprietor she would like a cabin a little secluded. She told him she needed the solitude to finish writing a book she was working on. He noticed that she was pregnant and asked when she was due. She laughed and said “Oh I’ve still got two months to go. I’ll be done with the book and long gone from here before that day comes.” He gave her the keys to the cabin and wished her well in her endeavor.

The images May watched started to speed up but they told a story of a mother that was preparing a place to give birth to her child. Fawn knew she had to deliver this baby herself, she couldn’t go to a hospital.

That would leave a trail that the Agency could follow and locate her and the child. May watched as Fawn read everything she could find in the local book store on delivering a baby. Lucky for her the mountains of New Hampshire have a population of people that believe in home birthing. She found a dozen books on birthing from Aromatherapy, the use of Natural Herbs, Reflexology and other methods. Fawn research led her to a combination of two types of birthing: Water birthing and Hypno-birthing. The water birthing would alleviate most of the pressure and discomfort because of the buoyancy the water would provide. The Hypno-birthing method would allow Fawn to maintain a connection with the baby and enhance her own natural instincts in giving birth.

She would need her wits to be sharp and in focus to do this all alone.

May observed Fawn going through the process of training herself in both methods of delivery. She studied medical books on the complications of birthing and prepared herself for any circumstance that may arise. May was impressed by Fawns commitment to doing this alone so that her child would be safe. She could tell by Fawn’s actions that her love for this baby was an immeasurable mother’s love. She showed the willingness to place her own physical well being in jeopardy for the survival off her offspring. There is no greater a love in the human experience than that of a mother for her child. This type of love is what holds a family together, that give it strength to face the adversities brought before it. Fawn was like the ancient Primordial Mother that represented the eternal creativity of woman and of the earth or The Earth Mother, the eternally fruitful source of everything.

May watched as the final days of Fawn’s pregnancy past by. It was early on the morning of the fourteenth of February before sunrise that Fawn went into labor. Just before the first contraction she heard the little voice in her mind say, “It is time mother.” Again May’s conscious mind became one with Fawn’s. Fawn went into the bathroom and turned the faucets on in the bathtub and placed a few items on the shelf next to the tub. She adjusted the faucets so that the water was the right temperature for the birth. She then disrobed and entered the warm water of the tub. The first pains of labor struck just as she was completely seated in the tube.

She focused her mind as instructed by the book on Hypno-birthing. She had memorized a poem she had come across in one of the birthing books. She closed her eyes and started to recite it in her mind to focus her attention away from the pain of childbirth.

Great Mother Goddess

You who was there before all time

Arise from the watery abyss

From whence all life was created

Come to me, Ancient Mother

Teach me the ebb and flow of life

Help me understand that for things to be reborn,

they first must die

Show me the inner strength and gifts that lay inside

as my modern world engulfs me

Help me to remain connected to what is really important

Remind me of the messages in the wind

Great Mother Goddess

Nameless one but not forgotten

Let me honor you.

She repeated this over and over in her mind and time seemed slow down and all was at peace. She could feel the baby move down the birth canal and she knew there was pain but her mind ignored it. There was only the echo of her mind’s voice repeating the poem over and over. The echo was like a symphony building to a crescendo and when it reached the finale a burst of white light appeared across her inner vision.

Her mind stopped repeating the poem and there was silence. But softly out of the silence came the little voice in her mind that said, “Mother I am here”

Fawn opened her eyes and saw the baby in the water and reached down and lifted him into her arms.

She held him to her breast and thanked God for this wonderful miracle of life. She reached over to a shelf next to the tub and retrieved a bulb syringe and cleared his mouth and nose of any fluids. While she was doing this she felt the placenta emerge from her. Holding the baby in one arm Fawn reached down with her free hand and felt the umbilical cord. She could feel a small pulse as she had read in one of the medical books. She would have to wait for the pulse to stop beating before she could cut the cord. From the shelf next to the tub she retrieved a large wooden tray and four towels. Fawn placed the tray so is straddled the width of the tube then placed two towel on it to lay the baby on. She placed the baby on the towels and began cleaning him up.

Fawn discarded the soiled towels by the side of the tub and replaced it with the remaining clean ones. She checked the umbilical cord again and found that the pulse had stopped it was time to cut the cord. From the shelf this time she took two shoe laces. The first shoe lace she tied in a double knot tightly around the cord about three inches from baby. The second one she tied the same way about two inches further down the cord from the first shoe lace. Fawn reached over and took the last item from the shelf which was a sharp pair of scissors. Using the scissors she cut the cord right in the middle between the two shoe laces. A small squirt of blood splashed onto Fawn’s hand as she made the cut but no bleeding occurred from either piece of cord attached to the baby or placenta. She then wrapped the baby in the towels so only his face could be seen and picked him up.

May once more separated from the oneness she shared with Fawn and became an observer. A wondrous feeling filled May’s spirit. The oneness she shared with Fawn gave her an experience of child birth she thought she would never had known. It made her feel complete as a woman and truly a mother to this child that had blessed her life. She felt a greater connection to the child both physically and spiritually. She knew now what it truly meant to be a mother.

Struggling to standing position Fawn step out of the tub and carried the baby out of the bathroom into the adjoining room. She gently placed him down on the bed and surrounded him with the pillows that were at the head of the bed. She inspected herself and saw no bleeding or tearing so she dried herself with a towel and put on a robe. Fawn sat on the bed and touched the baby’s small hand. He had never cried or made a sound through the whole ordeal, but soon as she touched him he made a small cooing sound. Fawn looked down at him and said, “What a brave little man you are. You came through it all without a complaint or whimper. What shall we name you my valiant little soldier?” In her mind she heard that little voice again say, “Peter.” Fawn replied, but did not speak just thought “Just like the boy from Neverland. So Peter it shall be.

Welcome to the world Peter Moore” Fawn lied down on the bed next to the baby and both drifted off to a much needed sleep.