SWNOVELS Chapter 2. Alone
I am looking forward for the parent’s day. We will show to our parents our accomplishments. I was studying hard and I am going to show everyone my invention. Well, it was not something big, after all I was a ten years old kid, but my teacher praises me all the time.
My grades are really high and the other day my teacher made me take a quiz about how clever I am. I saw his surprise and he praised me more. I think he wants to talk to my parents about it and I am sure that they will be really happy.
I am holding the invitation in my hands and with a wide smile, I get into the house. At the same moment, I hear shouting and glass breaking. I am surprised.
-“I don’t stand you anymore!!!”
-“These are my words exactly! You are so suffocating!”
-“I don’t believe you. On the other hand, I think that you had a lot of freedom so you can sleep with your lover!”
-“You are hysterical.”
-“You blame me for your infidelity, you asshole!!!”
-“I am leaving you!!!”
-“Go to hell!!!”
Those boorish and crude words are coming out of the mouth of my parents. I am really surprised but I am more surprised when I realize that my parents are going to separate.
I am hiding behind a door as I keep listening to them.
-“You are going to leave but what about the kid?”
-“What about it? I will give you alimony.”
-“I don’t care about your money, I earn enough by myself. However, you are going to be free to live your life again but I will be a single mother!!!”
-“What can I do for that?”
-“Why don’t you take her with you?”
-“Are you crazy? I travel all the time.”
-“I am really busy too. I didn’t give birth of her alone. You are her father.”
-“You are her mother, too. Well, not a good one, if you leave her with nannies.”
-“I won’t let you belittle my effort as a mother, you bastard. What about you? You stay home only a few days and then you leave. She doesn’t know your face!!!”
-“So, if she knows your face, you can keep her!!!” My father shouts and leaves with a suitcase on his hand.
My mother closes the door with a strong hit. Then, she starts crying as she sits on the ground with her back at the door. She cries and swears at father.
Without realizing it, I crinkle the invitation of parent’s day in my hand. My tears are running mutely. My heart broke as I realize that I am nothing more than a heavy and unwanted weight to my parents.
They don’t care if I am smart. I am just an extra package for them.
My mother didn’t come to the parent’s day so she didn’t know that I received the first price. She neither saw the surprised looks at the other parent’s faces, nor she had heard the teacher’s praises.
She didn’t even come when my teacher called her to talk about my high grades and the possibility of jump some grades at school. She was busy. At least, that was her excuse.
I only heard her talking at the phone with my teacher and with an apathetic tone in her voice was telling him that she is extremely busy, so I should just continue school like everybody else.
-“What are you trying to do? Do you want to show me how smart you are? Are you mocking me?” She shouts when she sees me.
Her gaze is full of anger. I just lower my head.
-“Do you want to be a freak like your grandmother? This is the last thing I can stand.” She is yelling and I must say that she is really scary.
-“Be quiet and distinctive, for God’s sake!!! You hear me?”
-“Yes, mother.” I just say and I go to my room. I take out of my bag the card with my high grades and I rip it to pieces.
I like the school library. It is quiet. I can smell the smell of the paper and I can sit alone in a corner and read my favorite fantasy novels. This kind of books is not allowed to our house.
When mother found them in my personal library, she got rid of them. She started shouting for some time and her look was angry and irate. She looked at me with disgust. Yes, it was disgust. That look made my heart to ache.
So, I can read my favorite but prohibited books in here with ease, or at least I thought so.
-“What are you reading freak?” I hear the voice of the class bully as he grabs the book from my hands. He reads the title and he burst to laughing.
-“Alice in Wonderland? Are you serious? What a freak?” He keeps saying but I don’t find it strange for a thirteen years old kid to read this kind of stuff.
Well, I am sure that he would laugh at whichever book I would read. Then, he throws the book on my face and he starts laughing again together with his friends.
-“Look. She is bleeding!!!” Another boy says and they laugh again. I touch my nose and I see the blood apathetically.
-“What a freak!!!” Their leader shouts again.
-“You can use your hair to wipe the blood.” He says and he grabs my hair to wipe the blood. I try to resist but I can’t.
-“Maybe a knight will come to save you.”
-“Or maybe a Rabbit!!!” They laugh at me.
-“Oh, I think I have a rotten cake in my pocket. If she eats it, maybe she will shrink.” A boy says and their leader smiles demonically.
He takes the rotten cake and tries to put it in my mouth. He forces me to eat it. Then, when he frees me, I vomit it. They are laughing at me.
When the librarian comes to see who makes so much noise and sees my vomit, she clicked her tongue as her eyes look at me with disgust.
-“If you dirty the books, what will you do? You boys, what are you doing? Help her to clean!!!”
-“Yes, madam.” They say and they take me pretending to be my friends.
When we are at the toilets, they push me on the floor and they pour water with their bottles on top of my head. I don’t cry. I don’t react. If I try to fight, they will do worse. I will let them to get bored.
When they were sure that I got soaked and I was like a wet cat, they took some pictures with their mobile phones and then they left. Before I can take a breath, the librarian gets inside the toilet and starts scolding me. So I have to clean my vomit as I am soaked.
When I return home, nobody is there. My mother is at her company or she is on a date with a man. There is nothing to eat, so I go to take a bath and then, I eat some biscuits I bought from the convenience store.
Without books, the only thing I can do, is studying alone. I study everything in my school books until late at night. Then, before I go to bed, I can hear the door. My mother returned but not alone. I can also hear a man’s voice. They laugh and then they get in my mother’s room.
I see some strange desert lands. Dead trees, barren soil, dark sky surrounds me. I feel a chilly sensation as I stare at the horizon. There is nothing but darkness and death. I start to walk for a while and then, I see dead people in lakes of blood surrounding them and some crows are eating their flesh. I got scared.
I woke up in turmoil. I was soaked in sweat and my breath was heavy. My heart was beating fast and there in the dark, I saw a pair of eyes watching me with a dirty look.
-“A!!!” I screamed and then a man came into my view.
-“Shhh! You are going to wake up your mother.”
-“Who are you? What are you doing in my room? Get out!” I shout.
-“I was curious about Eleanor’s daughter. She never speaks of you but I am quite curious. You are so young and fresh.”
-“Get out of my room!!!” I shout again.
-“Don’t be so proud and snobbish. I just want to see you.”
-“I don’t. Get out.” I say but he approaches me. I try to get out of bed but he grabs me. I try to fight this time but his hands are strong.
He pins me on bed and he puts his body on top of me. I am getting scared. My tears are running as he muzzles my mouth. I can’t shout anymore but I try to scratch him. His hand is touching me and I get disgusted.
He wants to lick my cheeks with his disgusting tongue and he is doing it.
-“Mmmm” I try to shout but I can’t, when I feel his hand approaching a very sensitive spot.
“Mother! Mother! Mother!!!” I shout in my head. “I am really scared. I am really scared!!!”
Well, she won’t listen to me. She is asleep. I can’t fight anymore. I was ready to abandon every hope, when the lights are on. The man surprised turns his head to see my mother standing at the door watching us.
He frees me and I shrivel in the corner of the bed as I cover myself with the blanket.
-“Eleanor, my dear. Your daughter is a little devil. She tried to seduce me.” The man says and I freeze. I am looking at my mother and wave my head with despair. I pray that she won’t believe him.
-“Get out!” She only says to him. He tries to say something more but her stony glare won’t let him say another word. Then, she looks at me with an apathetic look and leaves.
My body is shaking and my heart is hopping in my chest wildly. My tears are still running and wetting my blanket.
I am alone in the dark trying to calm myself down. I am once again alone to “lick” my wounds.