Wildling

~~~Jaxson’s POV~~~

I’m such an idiot! I know Ember wants to take things slow, I’m fine with that, really. But hearing that hunter talk about her like that raged me. Ares was close to shifting as he continued to talk about some lover boy. Must have been the guy who put her through everything. Worst yet, he was still watching her somehow. I almost couldn’t hold Ares back when he said she tried to end her own life. It was more shock that kept us both at bay.

The look on her face when I yelled at her killed me. She flinched away, not in fear, but realization. I had proved her point to her. I didn’t mean to let my frustration get the better of me. I’m just so fed up being the only one who doesn’t know and I’m her mate.

Watching her walk away, destroyed me. Would she reject me now? I’m such an awful mate. Here I was telling her she could take her time and that I understood, and not even a day later yelling at her for not telling me every piece of her life. I wanted to run after her, beg her forgiveness and let her punish me. Anything to be together.

Sean held me back saying she just needed a breather. It made me feel a little better knowing Ash was going with her.

Sean kept me occupied by dealing with the dead bodies. I can’t believe she shot Travis in the eye. It was a gruesome yet awesome shot. We dragged the bodies into the woods where they would be hard to find and covered them with dirt. The whole time my thoughts were on Ember and what will happen next. I just need to apologize and beg her forgiveness.

~~~Ember’s POV~~~

I paced the woods angrily as Ash continued to watch me, still in wolf form. God, I hate Travis! I’m so glad I killed him. Normally I don’t take it lightly when I take a life but with Travis, I’ll give myself an exception. He’s such a low life. He was working with Dimitri this whole time! I should have realized. I see him almost every time I go into town, sometimes only from afar, but he was always watching my movements. I always thought it was because I ruin his traps and antagonize his men when he approaches me.

Guess not. Now I find that Dimitri has been watching me for years, somehow. Odd, I had never felt eyes on me. Normally I just felt alone. I guess I should be glad I haven’t seen him.

To think he watched as I tried and failed to end my life those first few years. I couldn’t deal with my emotions. I hated myself and felt so broken. My heart longed for my wolf and baby. I thought I would be alone for life. Dimitri’s last words echoed in my mind.

“You will be forced to live with your life until you die of natural causes.” He let a dark smile overtake his face while he whispered his last words in my ear. “You will have to live with yourself. Live with the fact you are wolf less, mate less, and can never have a family. Enjoy.”

I never thought that it was literal. I couldn’t kill myself no matter how hard I had tried. I tried cutting my wrist to drain my blood. Nope, no knife would penetrate my skin. I tried jumping off the clearing edge. Nope I survive the fall with nothing more than scrapes and bruises. What black magic was this?

It wasn’t until Accalia came that I felt I could withstand my retched life. Now I have a chance at being happy and Dimitri tries to take that too. I’m fed up!

I continued pacing. I know Jax is frustrated, I would be too in his situation. But he told me I could take my time. I know that it hurts him too and I hate myself for it but I’m just not ready. This just shows me I’m making the right decision. How could he handle the truth? But I won’t get anywhere by pacing myself into the ground. I took a deep breath to calm myself. Turning to Ash, I gave him a small smile.

“Thanks for being here. Can you ask Jax to come? This will only resolve if we talk.” He gave me a wolfish smile, pride sparkling in his eyes and nodded, his eyes glazing as he mind links Jaxson. Once done, he gets up and rubs against my legs and gives my fingers a small lick. I chuckle as he runs back to his mate. My heart swells at his actions.

Jaxson quite literally sprinted towards me. I couldn’t react before he had me enveloped in his arms, murmuring apologies in my ear.

“I’m so sorry, Em. Please forgive me. I know you have been through a lot and you have every right to want to take this relationship slow. I didn’t mean to blow up. I let my frustration get the best of me.” He cupped my cheeks to look into my eyes, his emeralds pleading with my mismatched ones.

“Jaxson, I understand, and I know it’s difficult for you. I’m not saying that it’s ok, but I understand. But you can’t just yell and hope to get your way. It doesn’t work like that. We need to be able to trust each other and I need to know you won’t blow up at me when you see. If you yelled at me just because you were frustrated, do you honestly think I would feel good about showing you everything I’ve been through? Shit, you’d probably go on a rampage!” I ran my hand down my face and gave an exhausted sigh. This past week has been tiring. My emotions running high and I had to come to terms with my life changing so suddenly.

Jaxson caught my hands, giving them a gentle squeeze. He sighed.

“I wish I could tell you that I will take it well. But I don’t want to promise something I’m not sure I can keep. I love you and watching you be in pain will be ridiculously difficult. But I can promise you that if I do blow up, it would never be at you. Just at the situation. But I can also promise you that it would never change how I feel about you. It won’t change the fact that I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I will try my hardest to be someone you deserve, and I will help you find your peace.”

I smiled softly at his words. I’m glad he didn’t promise it would be all fine once he sees because I know deep down it won’t be. If the situation was reversed, honestly, I’d probably be the same way as Jaxson. If I saw him go through what I did, I’d be furious towards the people who caused it. But his assurance that he would always be there no matter what, eased my mind.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, my fingers automatically winding through his hair as he places his hands on my hips. “Thank you Jax.” I raise up slightly to place a gentle kiss on his lips. He groans and applies more pressure, moving our lips together a little more quickly. We pull back a few moments later to catch our breath as Jaxson mumbles under his breath.

“You’re killing me.” He buries his face in my neck, inhaling my scent. I laugh softly loving the effect I have on him.

“Come on.” I take his hand and turn to go back to our friends. “Let’s go before something else happens.”

A/N

Ok guys! Hope you liked it! Things should start to move more quickly in the upcoming chapters!