Wildling

~~~Ember’s POV~~~

I am so fed up with this shit! Since I’ve met Jaxson all I seem to do is cry and break down. I’m done.

Sean and Jaxson had looked at me with concern when Ashton had asked to speak with me alone. He knew something. I saw it in his eyes. It wasn’t just normal pity I saw. It was like he understood everything about me. I didn’t like it.

We hiked up to the clearing in silence. Ashton was nervous. His blue eyes flitting to me every so often as we walked. Like I was a ticking bomb ready to explode at any moment. We sat in the grass facing each other.

He took a deep breath before talking. “I need you to listen to my full story before you get angry.” I raised my eyebrow at him, waiting. He sighed.

“Ok. Please bear with me. Jaxson asked us for help. He said you didn’t want to be mates because of your past and not wanting him to go through it when you were marked. I get it, I do. I went through something similar with Sean.” My eyebrows raised in surprise. I wonder what his past is. And man, Jaxson really is determined. I shook my head clear as Ashton continued.

“I think it would be easier if I showed you.” I furrowed my brown in confusion. Ashton shuffled closer and I flinched as he put his hands on either side of my face.

“I know you don’t know me well. But please trust me.” His eyes showed concern and compassion. They were warm. I nodded slightly to give him the go ahead.

I gasped in shock as I started seeing a slideshow in my mind. Ashton’s voice filtering in as he explained these were memories of his past. He showed me how he discovered his gift. How he was shunned by his pack because of it. I felt his heart shattering loneliness. A child only six years old, desperate to join in and not understanding why he was being excluded. He watched from afar as the other children played. He watched as children were comforted by their parents, feeling their loves embrace while his own family was split apart. His mother losing her life in a rogue attack. While his father, the only parent he had left, hated him. I watched as he learned that he wasn’t like everyone else. He had a gift and he liked boys. I saw him confess to his so-called friend and that friend betray him. I watched as the abuse started. He played every hit and every mean word in my mind until he got to the end. I gasped as he showed how he was brutalized. My heart clenched for him and the pain he went through.

Then came memories and feelings of happiness and sorrow. Happiness when he found Sean but sorrow about how his past would affect him. I watched as Sean never gave up on him. I watched as Sean marked him, for them to be together eternally. I saw how Sean reacted to seeing his past. My heart broke as I watched the tears leak down the face of the Alpha King.

Ashton removed his hands and brought us back to reality. I didn’t know what to say. He trusted me enough to show me this part of him.

“Ashton.” I shook my head glancing at him with tear filled eyes. “I’m glad you found Sean. You didn’t deserve to go through any of that.” I spoke softly.

“Neither did you, Ember.” He grimaced a bit. My eyes shot to his as he watched my reaction pensively. My heart rate accelerated. What did he mean? He couldn’t. He wouldn’t.

“What?” My words came out in a breathy whisper. He smiled sadly at me.

“I’m so sorry Ember.” His voice broke. “I usually never do it without permission unless it’s by accident, but last night you had a nightmare. You were remembering the whipping. Jaxson was feeling every bit of your pain. I had to try and stop it. I had meant to bring up a happy memory for you to dream about, but I got sucked in.” I let out a choked sob as I realized what he was saying. A tear slid down my face.

“I saw it all Ember. I’m so sorry.” He shuffled around to bring me into his arms as I cried.

“Did you feel it too?” I knew the answer. How could he not have felt it? I felt his emotions during his memories.

“Yes.” He stayed quietly. “Ember I can promise you that Jaxson would never feel differently about you. He would understand and he would love you even more for it. You are so strong. I don’t know how you’ve managed to keep going through all of this but I’m so glad you did. Jaxson is one of my best friends. He deserves a mate like you whether you think so or not.” He rubbed my back in soothing strokes.

Is this what it’s like to have a friend?

“What if he hates me. What if he never looks at me the same again? What if the pain I make him go through is just too great?” I tremble at the thought of causing him pain. Ashton quickly shakes his head.

“There is no amount of pain in this entire life that he wouldn’t go through for you. He loves you Ember. You just need to give it a chance. I’m not saying let him mark you right now. Just take it day by day. I promise you; he will always love you no matter what.” He sighs before drawing back to look in my eyes. “You can be happy again Ember. You just have to choose it for yourself.” His eyes held the truth as I searched them. The threads in my resolve snipping bit by bit.