Wild at Heart

Nick’s mouth was moving, but I didn’t hear words coming from his lips. I needed to pull my mind back into reality and come back to the kitchen I was standing in.

“Emma?” Nick’s voice rang in my ears and I felt something warm on my cheek. Nick reached up and rubbed his thumb across my cheek, drying the tear that escaped. I didn’t realize my mind had gone so deep that it was pull emotions from me that I didn’t know I was holding in.

“Talk to me, little wolf.” He whispered as he wiped another tear from my cheek. I looked down at the floor to avoid his eyes, but only noticed that my hands were clutching my stomach. “Oh, Emma...” Nick’s eyes darted to my hands before he pulled me into a tight embrace. I let my head fall into his shoulder and the tears that had slowly slipped from my eyes to my cheek were now coming down in an even flow. If it weren’t for my mate’s strong arms holding me up, I would have fallen to my knees.

I never took the time to properly grieve the loss of our unborn child. I had it in my head that there wasn’t a loss to grieve because of the circumstances, but I was so very wrong.

“I’m sorry.” I muttered into Nick’s shoulder in between my sobs. “I’m so sorry, Nick.” His hand came down on my head gently and stroked my hair.

“Shh... Little wolf, don’t talk like that.” His lips found my forehead, but I couldn’t see him through the mist of tears in my eyes. If Nick felt anything like I did now, and I left him alone to deal with it on my own. I had every right to apologize to him time and time again. I wiped my eyes and sniffled to somewhat pull myself together.

“I left you alone.” I barely got the words out. “You needed to grieve, and I left you alone with no one to help you through this.”

“It doesn’t matter, Emma.” I shook my head as soon as the words left his mouth.

“It does. I wasn’t there for you.”

“You’re here now, little wolf.” He moved his hands to my cheeks and tilted my head up until his lips could reach mine. “You’re here now.” He repeated in a whisper. It didn’t take the guilt I was feeling away but it eased it slightly. He bent down and put his arm behind my knees and lifted my body up to his. He carried me bridal style to the bedroom and set me back in bed where our morning began. “Stay here, I’ll bring you breakfast.” I didn’t fight it, I just relaxed back into the bed and tried to wipe my face again. I felt sticky from the dried tears, so I slipped out of the bed and went to the bathroom to wash my face. I felt like a complete mess on one hand, but on the other I felt relief. Relief that I finally let some of the pain go that I’d been holding on to. Relief that after pushing my mate away he was still there for me.

I was drying my face off when I heard the bedroom door open back up. I turned to see Nick place a plate on the nightstand before heading straight for me. His embrace was all I needed. I breathed in his pine scent and I melted. He wrapped an arm around my waist and ushered me back to the bed. I ate my breakfast while Nick ate his and I let him take the dishes out to the kitchen after a small disagreement between us that he evidently won. I made room for him on the bed when he came back, and he didn’t hesitate to jump in and cuddle up next to me.

“Do you want to talk?” He asked.

“I do.” I nodded. “I just don’t know what to say.”

“Say whatever you want.”

“Okay.” I thought about what I wanted to say, but I had nothing come to my mind. This feeling was new and overwhelming. “Does it hurt?” I asked.

“Everyday.” He had no hesitation to his answer. “I think about how hard it is for me and I can’t imagine how hard it’s been on you.” He was rubbing his thumb down my arm, sending chills down my spine as he spoke. “Emma, you’ve been through more than any wolf I’ve known and how you’re still holding yourself together amazes me every day.” I shifted my body so that I was facing him now.

“I don’t feel strong, Nick.”

“You are Emma.” He slid his hands under mine and gripped them tightly. “Your mother died in a horrific explosion when you were just a young pup and you still grew into such a beautiful woman. I pulled you from that burning building and you still tried to go back in for her. You’re so stubborn I thought you were going to bite my head off every time I tried to get you to back off her death. I can count the number of wolves in this pack who defy my orders on one hand, Emma, and you, my love, do it over and over again.” I couldn’t help but grin at him. He wasn’t wrong. “Your very first mission as Luna and you go and get shot and die on me.” He pulled his right hand out of mine and laid his palm flat on my chest, covering the cross-shaped scar left from that little arrow his uncle shot me with. “You’re so stubborn you didn’t even let death win.” He smiled and lowered his hand back into mine. “You fought like hell to stay alive and you came back to me. You are the strongest wolf inside and outside of this pack and I will tell you that every day until you realize it.” My emerald eyes connected with his golden ones and I felt a tear begin to form in my eye. “You were kidnapped, and not only did you escape, but you also saved my beta. You’re a legend for killing rogues with nothing but a lunch tray. Your best friend betrayed you.” I bit down on my lower lip as a memory of Derek flashed in my mind. “And you did the hardest possible thing anyone could do to save your pack.”

“For you.” I muttered. “I would do it over again a million times if it meant keeping you safe.” Nick reached up and wiped my cheek dry from the lone tea that escaped.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t help you deal with that better.”

“I didn’t know how to deal with it.”

“I just wanted to be there for you, Emma.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t let you.” I regret not letting Nick in, but I can’t change my past. I’ve barely even dated, let alone fallen in love with an alpha within a course of months.

“What can I do to help you now?”

“I want to know what happened to our baby.” I saw a mist fog his eyes for a split second before he blinked it away. “I want to know why it didn’t survive.”

“I’ll make an appointment with the doc for tomorrow morning.” I knew he could, no one said no to the alpha, well, except me.

“Thank you.” I pulled on his arms until his chest was against mine. Feeling him so close to me was all I needed.