Whistleblower (PALADIN Book 1)

Linc chuckles at me when we enter the elevator of my residence building that basically sling-shots passengers up forty-some floors. He watches me take a deep breath and press one fist against my belly while using my other hand to clutch the railing for dear life. He, on the other hand, is completely at ease, wearing a teasing smirk on his beautiful, slightly stubbled face.

“You have to do that every time?” he asks between small, breathy laughs.

Scowling at him, I nod.

After collecting my hands in just one of his, he raises them above my head and traces my stomach with his other fingers. My arousal is urgent and needy, and I can literally feel the apex of my thighs begin to swell. His grumbly low voice doesn’t help the matter. If he wasn’t pinning my hands in place, I’d let them explore his body.

“Take a deep breath,” Linc instructs. I instinctually obey because I’m already breathless from his touch and actually do need air. “Most people combat a fear of heights with pressure. Holding your stomach, clenching the rail… It’s normal. But what you need is to give your breath room. Expand your diaphragm, breathe deeply, and the nerves will calm.”

Maybe his advice works, maybe I’m distracted, but as I stare at Linc’s lips the jitters disappear, replaced by a new tingling sensation. He’s ducking down, hovering over me with my hands still pinned above my head. All I’d have to do is lean forward just a little bit to kiss him. Seeing the ravenous look in my eyes, Linc trails his hand below my belly button. He powerfully cups my sex over my pants with his palm, making me grunt in response.

“Eden, I really like that I can touch you whenever I want now because I’ve been suppressing the urge for weeks. We have a lot of lost time to make up for.” He grinds the heel of his palm against my sex and something between a moan and whimper escapes my lips as my head knocks against the elevator wall. How long is this ride? I hope it never ends. Send me to space, as long as Linc can come with me. There’s something extra exciting about the way I’m trapped underneath his grip. Whatever happens next… All I can do is let it happen.

I buck my hips, pressing myself deeper into his palm. “Please touch me.”

“I am,” he says with a soft laugh.

“You know what I mean.” I want his hands beneath my underwear. I want his fingers in me.

He whispers in my ear, “Needy girl, there are cameras in here.”

Are there? My eyes dart around the elevator walls, but I don’t see cameras. And actually…

“I don’t care—”

Ding! And just like that the spell is broken.

“You’d care later. You’re just all worked up right now,” he says. He kisses my forehead before pulling me through the elevator doors right as they open. “I have some work to do first. Which is yours?” he asks, looking left, then right down hallways that lead in opposite directions.

“Eighty-nine,” I reply, nodding toward the left. “Four-two-eight-nine.”

I’m still ticklish between my thighs but it’s clear Linc no longer has sex on his mind. It’s fascinating to see him like this. Sometimes I forget that Linc’s not just a killer, not just a brute—he’s got a skill set. He sees everything. His eyes scour the hallway as we cover the short distance, but he’s looking at things I never notice anymore, like the decorative hallway table topped with potted plants and classic books. He opens each of the books and to my great surprise the middle one is hollow. Inside, there’s a small copper key.

Linc looks at me and raises his eyebrow. “Eden—”

“That’s not mine,” I assure him.

“Good. It’s an incredibly stupid thing to do. Don’t ever hide your keys in a public area like this, and I better not find a key above your door frame. Don’t make yourself an easy target.”

Pursing my lips, I blink at him. “Save your lecture. I just said it’s not mine.” While our apartments have electronic locks, I believe there’s a manual key override. Likely, someone’s fob has been giving them trouble and they planted that little copper key in case of technical difficulties. “And there’s nothing above my door.” Not here anyway. Back home in California though, not only did I have a spare key above my entry door frame, but there was also a ceramic toad in my garden that contained the key to my patio door and my car. Whoops.

Reaching my door, I pull out my fob and press it against the sensor. Linc reaches over my head and places something above the door frame that I don’t see. He’s too quick. “Don’t ever touch that.”

“Touch what?”

He doesn’t answer. Instead, he gently presses my back against the hallway wall. “Stay right here. I need two minutes then I’ll come get you.”

“Okay,” I say, nodding. I’ll behave.

With his hand on the handle, he turns to me once more. “Eden, as a general rule, moving forward, if I ever tell you to run, you run. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“I’m serious,” he says, locking in on me with his light blue eyes that look like ice the way he’s staring at me. “No playing the hero. No trying to be brave to prove a point. You. Run. Do you understand?”

“Yes. Fine, Linc. I hear you.”

“Good girl,” he says, causing a tingly little twitch well beneath my navel. I wish he’d stop saying that. I’m starting to develop a bit of a praise kink because of him. With that, he disappears behind the door and I begin to count to one hundred and twenty.

I’m on ninety-nine when Linc returns. He wordlessly pulls me to the bathroom, closes the toilet lid, and sits me down.

“Your apartment is small.”

I stick out my tongue. “Well don’t be a jerk about it.”

He laughs and his all-business demeanor briefly disappears. “I meant it’s ideal. I wasn’t sure I brought enough equipment. Let me show you something.”

He squats down and grabs my hand, guiding my finger to what feels like a small vinyl sticker hidden behind the toilet paper holder. “Do you feel it?” he asks and I nod.

“What is this?”

“It’s a panic button. It’s heat sensitive, so an object brushing against it won’t make it go off, but if you flatten your finger against it for one second, the entirety of PALADIN will get an emergency alert. If someone left a note for you, they likely want information, which means they’d need time. The first thing they’ll do in a hostage situation is collect your phone and scan for any obvious modes of communication. They’ll shut the blinds, cut your internet lines, and threaten you if you scream. Discretion is everything, so, if you find yourself in a precarious situation, first put them at ease by complying. Give up your phone, your wallet, whatever they want. Then make an excuse to use the toilet.”

“It’s so subtle,” I say, examining the tiny black sticker that easily looks like…nothing. Like remnants of packaging that didn’t make it into the trash. I would’ve never noticed it.

He winks at me. “That’s the point, Bambi.”

“Wait—the entirety of PALADIN? I don’t want to worry everybody. Can it just alert you?”

“Vesper, Cricket, and Lance are my family. They care about what I care about—which now includes you. If you are in harm’s way, what matters is who can get here fastest, I don’t care who it is.”

I place my hands on the top of his thighs, then kiss his forehead. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Precious.” Linc fishes in his pants pocket and pulls out what looks like a mini marble cut in half. He holds it in his palm patiently while I examine it. “This is surveillance. I’m going to put these all around your apartment except in the bathroom. I need you to stay here while I place them. You can’t know where they are.”

“What? Why?”

“Because if someone broke in, it’s the very first place your eyes will go. It’s natural for every victim in an intimidating situation. You can’t control it. But you’ll give away the fact that you’re under surveillance. An intruder is far more likely to pull a trigger and cut a loss if they feel they’ve been made.”

“Jesus,” I whisper, my arousal fading and the reality of the break-in settling in. Linc makes me feel so safe, I almost forgot how serious and dangerous this all could be. “Maybe I should—”

“Stay with me?” He cocks his head to the side, trying to find my eyes. “I’d feel better if you did.”

I shake my head. “No, Linc. I don’t want to be babysat. I’m an adult, I should be able to live alone and take care of myself. What I meant to say is, perhaps I should get over my fear of guns. Maybe I should get a firearm and learn how to use it.”

“If that’s what you want, I’ll teach you. But if I’m being honest, I like that you don’t like guns. It’s refreshing that you flinch even when someone else gets hurt. Eden, it’s okay to be tender and soft. I really like that about you.”

When I first met Linc, he was hardly a talker. Fast forward a few weeks, now he’s speaking in poetic soliloquies, telling me what he really likes about me. “I don’t want a gun. I just don’t want to feel so weak.”

He tilts his head to the side, showing off the elegant cut angles of his jawline. “I watched you in that interrogation room, and I can’t for the life of me understand why you think you’re weak, Eden.”

Standing upright, he pats the pocket where he pulled out the little camera. “Stay here until I’m done.”

“Wait!” I squeal. He turns around as his eyes pop in surprise. “So, you’re going to put cameras all over my home that I won’t know about?”

“It’s for security. If someone breaks in again…I’ll know who to hunt.” The way his jaw clenches makes me nervous for whoever dropped that note off. By intruding on my personal space, they’ve made an enemy of Linc.

“It seems awfully invasive.”

“I’m not putting cameras in here, Eden. You’ll have privacy in the bathroom. The surveillance is for my eyes only. Neither PALADIN nor anyone in the FBI will have access to it.”

“But they’ll be in the bedroom, right? You’ll be sitting around watching me?”

He chuckles again and my cheeks begin to burn with red-hot embarrassment. “The tapes are for review if something happens…like you find another letter. I won’t be sitting around watching you.” The sexiest smile curls at the corner of his lips as he lifts his brows. “Unless you put on a good show.” Before I can respond, he’s out the door, closing it behind him.

The minute he’s out of sight, I leap up off the toilet seat and look in the mirror. Holy shit, Eden! Bad, this is bad. I realize I haven’t looked at myself since Linc’s tongue was between my thighs at Martinis, but I look beyond ragged. My hair is frizzy, my cheeks look blotchy. My eye makeup is so smeared I look like a raccoon.

I quickly go to work, the way every single woman is equipped to in an I wasn’t expecting to get laid emergency situation. I squeeze a dollop of toothpaste on my tongue and swash it around furiously before quickly rinsing. Pumping a few drops of smoothing serum in my palm, I try to calm my flyaway hairs and cover up my dry ends. Screw it—there’s no time to fix my eye makeup. I grab a cleansing wipe and clean the smudges under my eyes. I settle for a quick brush of finishing powder all over my face—my fancy one which smells faintly like sweet roses. Looking in the mirror, the finished product really isn’t that much better. Geez. I just look so tired, my cheeks are sunken in. I probably have less than two minutes before Linc comes back. What the hell can I—oh.

I open the smallest drawer of the bathroom vanity where I store all the makeup I never use. I find the cherry red lipstick that Vesper’s picture reminded me of all those weeks ago at the diner with Callen. Bold. I want to be bold right now. Twisting the silver tube, the bright red lipstick emerges looking like a neon police siren. I snort at myself. There’s no way I can pull this color off, but I force myself to drag the balm over my bottom lip, then my top. When I’m finished, I have to resist the urge to immediately wipe it off.

It’s not that it looks bad, I just look…noticeable. For the past year, I’ve been trying to slip under the radar, but Linc makes me want to be seen. No, don’t take it off. Another coat.

I’m lifting the lipstick back to my mouth when Linc startles me, abruptly busting back through the bathroom door. I toss the tube out of surprise and with near perfect accuracy it flies right to him. Linc snatches it out of the air before it drops to the floor, unintentionally showing off his superior reflexes.

“What are you doing?” he asks, looking at me through the mirror.

Dammit. I exhale. He just installed cameras in your home, what do you honestly think you can hide from him now? “I was trying to fix up a bit for you.”

“Really?” he asks as he swaggers over to me and sets the lipstick upright on the bathroom counter. “Well, I’m finished.”

“Are you staying?”

“Of course. Unless you changed your mind?”

Instead of answering, I spin around and cup the space beneath his belt. Immediately I feel his erection grow. Just a touch, that’s all it takes.

“Mmm,” he moans. “Okay, let’s talk.”

“Talk? No, thank you,” I sass, rubbing my hand along his growing length, getting a little nervous I may have bitten off more than I can chew. I copped a feel at Martinis, but I’m realizing now I barely scratched the surface. Of course a sexy, brooding, manly man, who’s only sweet to me, and calls me things like “precious” while holding my hand, has a mammoth-sized dick—because obviously I’ve fallen into Wonderland and dreams must be real.

“Eden,” he growls, collecting my hand and handing it back. “Let’s talk.”

Pouting, I cross my arms and lean back against the vanity. “About what?”

“What you said at Martinis. How you like it rough—”

“I said I like you in control.”

“Whatever you want to call it, I need to make some things clear. Rule number one—I refuse to hurt you. Nothing that bruises you, marks your skin or makes you bleed. Do you understand? I know the impression you have of me, but I don’t get pleasure from inflicting pain on anyone. And the thought of you hurting is the biggest turn-off in the world to me.”

“Okay,” I whisper, swallowing back my tongue before something crazy like I think I love you, accidentally slips through.

“That being said, explain this control thing to me. What do you like?”

The ache immediately awakens. The idea of sex with Linc? So damn hot. Talking about sex with Linc? Someone save me, I’m already gone.

“I know it’s weird.”

He shakes his head determinedly and lifts my chin with his finger so I’m staring at the icy fire in his eyes. “No, don’t be embarrassed, it’s not weird. Quite the opposite—so sexy. Just tell me what you like, specifically, and I’ll tell you if it’s on the table.”

“I like it when you pin me down, and I’d actually be okay with being tied up with something soft. Just my hands, and feet. I don’t want to be hogtied like a calf at a rodeo or anything.”

“Okay.”

“I like denial.”

“As in…?”

“I want you to make me wait. Tell me when I can come.”

“Fucking hell, Eden,” he groans in what I think is delight. I glance down and because he’s so damn big, I can literally see his cock twitch against his pants. “I can do that. Do you like dirty talk?”

“I like filthy talk.”

“You’re going to ruin me, woman. Anything else?”

“Anal is fine, but you have to be gentle. I’m not experienced.”

He shakes his head. “Rule number one, remember? I’d split you in half and it would hurt a lot.”

“We have a safe word. We can work up to it.”

“Why?”

The truth is that I’ve spent a lot of time, by myself, thinking about things I was too scared to try. I’ve had moments over the past months where I felt my life was in danger and all I could think about was how disciplined I’d been. I’m always so tidy, structured, and by the book. Where did it get me?

I promised myself, with the next man I trusted, I’d try everything. I’d be a different kind of person—brave, bold, and daring. I’d find a way to make what’s dangerous, pleasurable. Maybe that’ll help me conquer the fear that lives in me. But I’m not telling Linc that. I’m dripping for him at the moment and confessing that my default is more cowardly than the damn lion from The Wizard of Oz is not sexy.

“Have you done it before?” I ask, avoiding his question. He rolls his eyes but refuses to answer. It’s a gentlemanly move not to talk about the other women he’s been with, but I’m curious. What kind of girls does the assassin like? “Can you honestly say you didn’t like it?”

“Let’s not worry about that tonight. Maybe in time. Is there anything else you want?”

I show him a shy smile. “Sex aside, I still like dates, flowers, cuddling, good morning texts, and all that so-called girl stuff. Oh, and…um, I prefer exclusivity.”

Linc returns my smile. “I’m on board with most of that.”

My heart pounds audibly in my chest. It’s so loud, a normal man would hear it, but Linc with all his seemingly heightened senses must be able to hear my nerves clear as day. Shit. Cricket warned me. Is this too much too fast? Exclusivity might be asking too much from the man they call a ghost.

“Which part is the problem?” I bravely ask.

“Do you really need a good morning text if I’m right there lying next to you?”

There’s a tickle running up my arms, it swirls around my neck and drops to my chest, filling my heart with pressure. This feeling is a little different than lust. It’s far more dramatic. This is how it starts…the beginning of hope. It’s been so long, but the feeling is a flood of warmth and comfort, reminding me that my life is over as I knew it, but maybe that’s not such a bad thing.

Here, there are new possibilities.

“Linc. Wreck me. Now.”

Stepping back, he pops the top button of his polo, giving him enough room around the neck to pull his shirt off. I can sit on my hands to control them, but there’s nothing I can do about the gawking. Linc’s chest and abs are inhuman, like a Grecian sculpture of a mythical creature. The cut grooves of his six-pack could trap my fingers, they are so deep…so tight. His torso is perfect, outside of the healed-over scars. The one just to the left of his belly button still shows the teeth of the staples that were used to close him up. It’s the kind of patchwork they do in emergencies to rapidly close a bullet wound. Looking at his body, I’m torn between lust and concern.

“I like that lipstick on you,” he says as he unbuckles his belt. I don’t know where he stashed it, but I’m just now noticing Linc’s holster and gun are missing. He continues to unbutton his pants and lets them droop just a little so I can see the waistband of his briefs and the hearty bulge they are trying to contain.

First, he turns on my shower, pulling the handle to the hottest setting. Then, he makes his way back over to me, but before I can put my hands on his beckoning hard-on, he grabs my wrists.

With his other hand, he collects the silver tube, and pops off the lid with his thumb. While dragging the lipstick across my top lip and then the bottom, he releases a sexy low grumble.

“Eden?”

“Yes?” I gasp. I’m regretting the denial request already. I want him and judging by the wicked smile on his face, I’m not sure if relief for the ache I have is on the way.

“It’s been a very long night.”

“I’m not tired,” I insist.

“Good. Then I want you to use your lips to paint my cock red.”