Whistleblower (PALADIN Book 1)

Callen asked me to join the raid at Huxley’s, but I told him to fuck off. If nothing else, Eden earned us both a night off. If the FBI can’t handle this on their own, what good are they?

It’s nearly four in the morning when Eden and I head to her apartment. Parking in her building was full so we had to leave my car four blocks away. I’d never tolerate her walking around alone at this time of night, but I’m with her now. I’ll keep her safe. The next person who threatens or harasses her doesn’t need to fear the FBI, they need to fear me. I’m much scarier than the law when it comes to something that’s precious to me.

The car ride was nearly silent. We’re still quiet as we walk, hand in hand, through the bitter cold of night. The only sound is our shoes crunching on the sidewalk. Finally, we both decide to break the silence at the same time.

“I’m sorry—”

“Eden, I—”

Her eyes light up and her cheeks bunch in my favorite way. “Thank God. You first, please. I thought you were too upset to talk to me,” she says.

“Why would I be upset at you?”

She squeezes my hand. “I’ve had many boyfriends accuse me of being bullheaded, self-righteous, and overly nice to a fault. I guess I’m prone to doing things like barging in on a top-secret interrogation, accusing you of being a monster, and insisting I know best.” She scrunches her nose apologetically. “I’m sorry if it seemed like I was disrespecting you and Callen. It wasn’t my intention.”

I halt on the sidewalk, accidentally yanking her backward with my hand still wrapped tightly around hers. “Many boyfriends?” I raise my brow.

“Oh…” She’s caught off guard and flushes. “Not that many. A reasonable amount”—her eyes suddenly bulge in horror—“and I wasn’t implying that you’re my boyfriend. I was just explaining why I’d understand if you were upset, but I saw the fear in Roman’s eyes. I thought there was a better way.”

I bring the back of her hand to my lips and kiss it gently. “Why would you apologize for being right?”

“Because it seems that’s all I’ve been doing for the past year.”

Releasing my hand, she continues to walk down the sidewalk. I let her lead a few paces as I trail behind. “Do you want a boyfriend?” I call after her.

She stops dead in her tracks before she spins around. “What?”

“Should uh…we go on a date before we go any further?” I ask. I’m not sure how to approach this conversation, I’ve never had it before.

Her breath is visible in the cold night air and her exposed arms must be freezing, but she acts like she’s unbothered—as if adrenaline is keeping her comfortably warm. “Do you date?”

“I never have before,” I say honestly. “But I know I like you.” I take one step toward Eden. “I know you intrigue the hell out of me because you’re this confusing combination of baby bird and badass.” She chuckles as I take another step. “I know your pussy tastes delicious.”

Turning beet red, she sucks in her lips and looks left and right, and up and down the street like someone could’ve heard me. “Thank you?”

“You’re very welcome.” I flash her a smartass smile. “And last but not least, I know that I want to kill every man who gets within a one-foot radius of you. Call it jealousy, I suppose.”

She crosses her arms and slightly tilts her head. “From any other man that’d be swoon-worthy, but when it comes from you, I’m scared you mean that literally.”

I do.

I take the final step, wrapping my arms around her waist. “Hey now,” I murmur into her ear. “Forget what I do… How do you feel around me?” I kiss her soft, cold cheek, then pull her into my body.

“Tempted,” she says into my chest as I rub her arms, trying to warm her up. I wish I had a jacket to wrap around her. “But Cricket said you guys can’t really do relationships so I don’t have any expectations. I know it’s complicated.”

Fucking Cricket and her big mouth.

“I’ve never done it like this, I need you to help me out. How does a man go about showing he cares and that I want more than your body?”

She weaves her fingers between mine again and guides me down the sidewalk. Her fingers feel like icicles gently squeezing my hand. “For starters, he’d walk me to my door after one of the longest twenty-four hours of my life. Maybe he’d use all his secret spy tricks to make sure my apartment is safe. And if I was still a little nervous to be alone…maybe he’d stay over tonight?”

“I can do that.”

We take a few more steps before we approach the corner of the block. Instinctively, I pull her back, glancing around the curve of the sidewalk before I let her lead again.

“And how would a woman go about showing you how much she likes you and wants to keep you interested?”

I spend a moment thinking about it, so I can give an honest answer. “All simple things. She’d let me hold her while she slept, fuck her senseless when she wakes up, all rough and rowdy like she wants it, then after, she’d have a meal with me.”

“I can do that,” Eden says, looking back at me with a playful smile. “I have a Belgian waffle iron still in the box I’ve been meaning to whip out. The only question is are you a blueberry or chocolate chip waffle kind of guy?” She stares at my peculiar expression, noticing my lack of enthusiasm. “Or…plain?”

I have to nip this in the bud before she forces another muffin on me. “I hate breakfast foods.”

“Huh?” Her hand that’s not wrapped around mine, finds her hip. “Who says that?”

I shrug. “Me… I hate muffins, pancakes, waffles, French toast, donuts—all of it. I’m not a fan of eggs, bacon, or sausage. I hate breakfast foods, period.”

Her jaw drops open. “I was on the fence about you being a monster until right now. Scales did not tip in your favor, buddy.”

I let out a throaty laugh and feel the cold air seep into my lungs. “Is that going to be a problem?”

“No. But I have to know… Why? What could you possibly hate about a donut?”

This is the first personal detail I’ll ever share with Eden, definitely not the last, but the first is always the hardest. I could just lie as an out, but all I see is her big, brown, doe-eyes and her smile that looks like kindness and hope. So, I do something I’ve never done with a woman.

I share something personal.

“My mom didn’t feed me much as a kid. She was too tired from all the pill-popping to grocery shop or cook. We lived in a small town, right down the road from a breakfast diner and the owner knew what a wreck my mom was. He let me eat as much as I wanted, for free. From age seven to thirteen, before I learned to cook, I ate breakfast diner food, and leftover baked goods for every single fucking meal. All these years later, I’m still burnt out on it.”

Eden closes the gap between us and touches her cool lips to mine. How did she know the reward I wanted for my honest admission was her lips on mine?

“Spaghetti and meatballs for breakfast then,” she whispers.