Where I Belong

Sinking into my tub I breathed a sigh of realise. The weeknd were playing in the background I had my candles lit and for the first time tonight I felt relaxed.

Will my dad be pissed? Probably but I'm sure he'll get over it. Groaning at how tense I felt I lay back and closed my eyes. Tomorrow will be a better day right? As I lay there I couldn't help thinking about what I had done. The guilt was eating away at me making me feel sick every time I thought about it which was every second and Blaze? He fucks off.

Sighing I tried to ignore the vibrations that were constantly coming from my cell phone. You would think if I didn't answer the first time they would stop. Sitting up I grabbed it from my shelf and scrolled through my call log. I knew my mom was worried but 7 missed calls in the space of 15 minutes is a bit extreme. Answering it I put it on loud speaker as I sunk back into the hot soapy water.

"You there A?" She asked

"Yes everything alight?" I replied staring at the lights on my ceiling.

"No everything is not alright. You are meant to be here Ava but instead I have that Kelsey girl and your friend Ally. Why are they here and my daughter isn't?" She snapped her voice changing. "Why did you leave?". "I'm not in the mood mom and I wasn't feeling hungry" Yeah is was a lame excuse but it was partly true.

"You're being selfish Ava this is for your brother" She yelled causing me to roll my eyes. "It's a tradition we did the same when you were born".

"It's not as if he's going to remember it heck I didn't" I said knowing I was going to cause her to lose her temper.

"Ava" She gasped "What's going on with you?" She whispered "This isn't you at all".

"Why would I want to come over there when I'm the one that feels like an outsider". I whispered

"Why would you say that?" Already I knew she was crying I could hear it in her voice. "Your father and I love you very much Ava, everyone does. We are your family these people are our family. Don't feel like that baby" She sniffed but I wasn't in the mood to listen to her.

"I have to go I'm in the bath" Before she could say anything else I hung up and turned my phone off.

After finishing up in the bath I slipped on a fresh pair of pjs and my slippers. Heading down stairs I turned the tv on in the living room as I headed for the kitchen. I was starting to get peckish and I hadn't really ate anything all day. Popping two slice of toast into the toaster I flicked the kettle on. Emptying some coffee into my cup I cursed when I opened my fridge to find I was out of milk. Grabbing a can of juice instead I took out the butter and sat it on my kitchen top. Remote in hand I flicked through the channels looking for something decent to watch. Finally deciding to go with NCIS I got my supper ready and settled onto the couch. Taking my comforter of the back I wrapped it around my shoulders. Was this better than spending the night with my family? No it wasn't but I couldn't be there when I was feeling like this. But why should I be the one to miss out? Why should everyone else get to celebrate the birth of my brother when they weren't family not by blood anyway. Blaze wasn't even there and here I was sitting feeling sorry for myself. Of course I did a bad thing I did wrong but like Ally said we all make mistakes. I shouldn't be the one singling my self out. He shouldn't be the reason why I don't spend time with my family. Yes they might be crazy at times and they might piss me off all the time but that's what family's do.

At as I sat thinking over everything I realised one thing they were always there for me. We fight a lot well my dad and I do but he is still my dad and if I keep doing what I'm doing and acting the way I do I wasn't going to have a family left. My family weren't the problem I was.

Getting to my feet I turned off the tv and took Ally's keys from my coffee table. Hopefully by the time I got there they wouldn't be too hammered. Locking the doors as I got in I turned the heating up full blast. The dark nights were coming back in and I could hardly see because of the fog. Turning on the radio I indicated onto the highway only them hearing the roars of the bikes that were tailing me.

Was my dad so desperate for me to come tonight he got his men to come for me?

Because of the mist I couldn't make out the drivers but at the way they were driving it gave me a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Something wasn't right

Reaching for my phone I cursed when I realised I had left it in my bathroom. Glancing in my rearview mirror I screamed when my back window shattered. Panicking I put my foot down trying to get away from them, there was so many bikes in front of me, behind me, at the side of me and taking over me. At the sound of another gun shot I lost my footing and control of my steering. Hitting the side of the highway I went through the barricade and screamed as my car toppled over the side.

I don't know how long I was left there but I couldn't move. The last thing I remember before the darkness took over were the police sirens in the background.

Blazes POV

Fuck, Fuck, Fuck!

Slamming my other fist into the wall I cursed words that would make my mother turn in her grave. I wanted her more than anything but after the stunt I just pulled I don't think she'll ever forgive me. God she felt so good, so soft, she felt like home.

Storming out the closet it took all my strength not to barge down to her office after her. The way she got up and left, left without saying a word and that to me wasn't a good thing. I fucked up the one thing that's ever been good in my life and for what? A skirt? A release? Having her made me a better man. I could be myself with Ava and just as fast as I had her I let her slip through my fingers and into the palm of my brother.

My fucking goodie two shoes brother

Nearing the exit I pulled the cigarette from my ear and lit it up. What the fuck was I going to do now? There was no way in hell she was going to speak to me and I knew for a fact she would avoid me at all cost. Leaning against my bike I shook my head as Cage walked towards me with a shit eating grin on his face.

Guess that bastard got lucky!

If you're loving the book, nel5s.org is where the adventure continues. Join us for the complete experience all for free. The next chapter is eagerly waiting for you!

"What the fuck are you grinning about?" I asked taking a long draw of my smoke. Never did think the kid had a heart but he seems smitten as fuck and I was jealous. Never truer words were spoken when they said a biker needs his old lady by his side. Everyone was starting to notice the changes in him. Was Ally his old lady? Beats me but she was defiantly doing something right.

"My lady" He smirked mounting his bike as he lit a cigarette. "Honestly man I've never felt this way about any chick and even though she drives me insane I think she's the one". Laughing he ran a hand through his hair "Gay as fuck right?" Well shit!!

Normally if a dude sat that and told me how he felt about a chick I would put a bullet in his knee cap but I knew exactly how he felt because I felt the same way about Ava and the only difference was he had his girl in his pocket. "Nah kid not at all you want her you make it official and you make sure she know who she belongs to. Don't fuck this shit up if she's the one". Now I sounded gay as fuck but when it came down to it everyone needed a good lady and when you're lucky enough to find her you grab on and don't let go.

"Thanks man that means a lot" He grinned slipping on his helmet.

"Right lets stop being a pair of pussy's and get back to the club house I've got shit to do". Clipping my helmet together I revved my bike and sped off out of the hospital. Speeding onto the highway I had came to the decision of getting out of here for a bit. I needed to give her space and with me bring around I know she wouldn't step foot near the clubhouse. Prez wouldn't mind and I still had some work to do with the other club. They still had a rat and I sure as fuck wasn't leaving without finding out who it was this time.

The distraction would be good and it would give me time to clear my head. Signalling into the clubhouse I parked my bike and slipped my helmet onto my handlebars. Watching the guys in the lot joke around and work on their bikes I wondered to myself where I would be if it wasn't for Franko. The guy could be a dick and a right hard nut but when you needed him he was there. When times got tough and you felt like throwing in the towel he was there and trust me living this life wasn't easy.

"Hey Blaze can I get you anything?"