We, who Survived

(Fern)

Something was wrong. My gut was screaming at me to get off the bed. I tried to push it away but it just came back stronger. Something was clearly off and it had everything to do with Nathan. Was it just anxiety with knowing he was alone? No, this was different. It was not the usual butterflies and emptiness when he was not with me. This was more of an animalistic tug to hurry and find him.

“Hey, where’s the Space Rat?” Jacob’s voice came from the doorway. Gazing up from the floor, I saw him and Zed looking at me with curious stares.

“He went to go get the rest of his stuff but...” Sighing, I stood up. Both of their expressions darkened. “My gut’s shouting at me that something is really wrong, he should be back by now.”

“I thought something was up. My stomach has been randomly churning and cramping,” Zed admitted, touching his gut. The look in his eyes was yelling at me to move, run down the hallway towards Nathan.

“We need to find him, now,” I demanded, clenching my fists and pushing past them.

“Run, we need to hurry if something is wrong,” Jacob said, not even waiting for us as he jumped into a sprint. Zed and I shared a look and then we were after him.

The closer we came to the room, the easier I could hear it. Screaming. Nathan was crying out for help. Speeding up, I took over Jacob and got to the door first. I yanked on the handle but it was locked. Jacob called for me to move just as he barrelled into the door, bashing it off its hinges. Nathan’s desperate screams instantly filled my ears.

Spark was on top of him, thrusting into him. Nathan’s cheeks were glistening with tears as he struggled against Spark, his hands over his head and torn leggings tossed on the floor. The agony on his face ignited such a wave of anger in me that for the first time, I saw black. When my vision returned, I was holding Nathan to my chest while Spark was on the floor with Jacob holding him down and Zed clutching a hatchet by his head. Both were breathing hard to contain their rage.

Nathan was crying harder now as I held him, his hands clawing at my tunic when I moved slightly. Under him, a red stain was growing. His lips were bleeding and swollen, eyes screwed shut as tears rushed down his reddened cheeks.

“What have you done?” I growled, shifting so I could hold Nathan better. His hands had stopped grabbing at me desperately but now held onto my tunic with fisted hands. Gently covering him with a sheet, I managed to wrap it around his waist.

“Oh my God, Nathan!” Spark’s entire demeanour changed as if what he was seeing was new to him and he had not laid a finger on my Kitten. He glanced around the room before looking down at his naked lap. Rage made my blood boil. How could he act as if nothing had happened only seconds prior? The only things still holding me down from attacking Spark was Nathan and the need to get him away from this monster.

Gritting my teeth, I gently picked Nathan up, making sure he was not in too much pain. His arms came around my neck, his face tucked against my throat while his tears still flowed freely.

“I’m taking him back to our room, show this fucker a taste of what his kind gets back in Cree territory,” I called over my shoulder, hearing Jacob growl and the thud of the hatchet against the floor. I moved quickly so Nathan would not hear anything coming from inside.

As I walked, I felt Nathan’s body shudder as he tried to stifle his sobs. I rubbed his back, making him press closer against me. The only plan I could conjure up was to fill the bath with hot water and place him inside it, hoping that it would help ease the pain.

When we reached the room, I moved speedily. I placed Nathan on the bed before going into the bathroom and switching the hot water on. It took a bit but as soon as it was done, I had him in the water, the sheet still wrapped around his waist. Nathan hugged his knees to his chest, tears no longer running down his cheeks as he stared at the water blankly. To see him like this made my heart cry out. How could Spark do this to him?

“F-F... Fern.” Nathan’s hoarse voice caught my attention and I was on my knees next to him, waiting. “Can you...climb into the bath?”

I did not hesitate to pull off my tunic and climb in. Nathan moved so he could curl up in my lap, his head resting against my chest. Even though the water was the perfect boiling temperature like the hot baths in the village, his body was a shivering mess as he pushed himself as close as comfortably possible against me. I wrapped my arms around him but not as tight as I used to. If Nathan instructed me to hold him tightly, then I would but right now, he needed his freedom.

We sat there for a long time. The silence was deafening so I started to hum softly, making Nathan relax against me as his hand went to grasp mine. Normally, I would be asking questions and wanting to talk to him nonstop but my humming seemed to suit the situation more. His breathing had also calmed as we sat there, almost as if he was on the brink of sleep. Another choice that was a smart one, was wearing my leggings instead of taking them off. It just added that extra safety barrier that he needed right now.

“Nathan, we should start getting out now, the cold water will make you sick,” I whispered, rubbing his arm and squeezing his hand. Nathan only nodded his head. Sighing, I gently moved him off me and stood up out of the bath and headed to get two white towels from the wrack. Peeling off my leggings, I secured a towel around my waist before helping Nathan out. His legs were unsteady, making him wobble from side to side. I went to pull his tunic off when I hesitated but Nathan took my hands and brought them to the hem. Nodding, I pulled it over his head and unwrapped the wet sheet. Keeping my eyes off his body, I swaddled him in the other towel. He seemed to relax as soon as he was covered up again.

Glancing at Nathan made me hurt even more. His different coloured eyes were emotionless, bloodshot orbs in his skull. His knuckles were white from how tight his grasp on the edge of the towel was under his chin. To top it off, the bite marks on his neck and lips were now visible. White, hot rage was blooming in my chest again from seeing my Kitten like this and I did not even know what the impact on his mentality was yet because I was afraid to ask. How could Spark go and do this to Nathan? How could someone do this to anyone else knowing full well that they are breaking them with each touch?

Not being able to control myself, I pulled Nathan into my arms, hot tears running down my cheeks as I held him. His arms came around me, the towel now being wrapped around me too as our chests touched. I didn’t want to cry; I had no right to but all the emotions of seeing him like that were setting in. Nathan sighed, nuzzling my neck.

“Why are you crying?” Nathan asked softly, no resentment in his hoarse voice.

“I’m just so angry that I don’t know how to hold it back,” I muttered, sniffing and rubbing my nose. Nathan pulled back to study me. How can he be so strong right now? His eyes were no longer glazed over as he gazed up at me. He forced a small smile onto his lips and pecked my cheek before holding me closer to him, his body shaking.

“We need to get changed, you’re cold,” I said, allowing myself to take a deep breath. Nathan nodded gently before letting go, holding the towel tightly back in place. Sighing, I pulled my tunic over his head, taking note that the hem fell halfway down his thighs.

“Can... Can you bring the bedroll into the bathroom?” Nathan asked, hugging himself as he let the towel fall to the floor. I nodded, smiling softly. I dragged it through the door, opened the window so the steam would slip out and raided the other bed of its covers to make the other more comfortable. When I was done, I tugged on a pair of loose leggings and threw my towel over the door so it would dry.

When I re-entered the bathroom, Nathan was already snuggled into the blankets. I went and sat next to his head, taking a pillow so my back would not get sore. Nathan was looking hard at my leg before he abandoned his pillow and rested his head against my leg, a sigh of contentment leaving his lips.

“Don’t leave me, please. I can’t handle it if you do,” Nathan whispered, his eyes closed. I brushed my fingers through his hair and began humming.

“You are my one and only, I would never dream of leaving you,” I whispered back, staring up at the ceiling. “Promise.”