Way of the Wolf: Redemption

The freezing water lapped around my bare legs, turning them to ice. My teeth chattered but I refused to complain, if only because I knew if I did that Bjarke would come to take me away to the hall. I was certain he'd wrap me up and hide me away if he could but I was determined to force myself into being social. I wanted to make this place my home and these wolves my family, to fit in as easily as Fenna did when she hadn't been born here either.

Maybe I measured myself against her too much. I always came up short anyway and jealousy curled around my heart. Despite that, I couldn't help but like her. She stood by my side whenever I wanted to do something Bjarke argued against, though this job she had tried to dissuade me from.

I'd already spent my morning with Madden while he had spare time to teach me. I'd learnt the signs of a pregnant she-wolf today. Signs I'd looked over myself. I shook my head as I untied the basket from the weights that kept it from floating down river.

Fenna was collecting another basket of fish a little way down the river and I stopped to watch as she muttered and cursed in those unknown languages. She switched often between what I now knew was English and another, harsher language that held similarities to the pack's tongue. Her gaze met mine, dark eyes narrowing at my barely hidden laughter. At least I won in this, I didn't really mind working outside

"It's fucking freezing!" she called over, and I waded my way carefully towards her.

The basket on my arm jerked a little as fish wiggled around and it nearly threw me off balance. Fenna was quick to grab my arm and her expression was a little scolding.

"I could have done this myself. You shouldn't have offered to help, you should be sitting with your feet up today." Sharp eyes looked me over before this fiery she-wolf straightened and helped me back to the banking

I sighed and stepped into the snow melted, damp grass barely feeling the cold. My feet had long since gone numb and it made my steps awkward and stumbled. "You're all trying to coddle me. I'm bored of sitting all day. Katrin did her chores right up until she gave birth, why shouldn't I?"

Fenna didn't bother giving me an answer but I could feel a slight flare of irritation from her. Like an older sister, she fussed around me always, especially after a long day. There was an odd balance of power between us. She would be an Alpha Female, but her position in the pack was only just above mine.

"You know why it's different for you," she finally murmured.

Her finger brushed stray strands of blonde hair away from my face. I looked away, allowing her to drape my furs back over my shoulders and clasp them in place. My boots and thick socks were drying by one of the fires guarding the doors of the hall but I wished I'd left them by the river instead.

When the silence stretched on, I decided to supply the answer to her statement myself.

"Because I'm weak." My words were strained, almost a growl. Fenna only sighed and picked up her basket of fish.

My cheeks flamed with embarrassment, my fingers curling tighter around the handle of my own basket. So I was relieved when I felt a warm hand take mine and my sister led me over to the hut where someone would later ready the fish to eat. My nose scrunched at the aroma that hung around this place and Fenna chuckled before sliding the basket down my arm to take herself.

She took them inside for me and I heard her share a few words with whatever wolves were inside.

I scooted closer to where smoke billowed out, allowing it to heat up frozen skin, breathing through my mouth to try and avoid the smell but I could taste it on my tongue.

My gaze fell to the trees, the spot I'd last seen my father and brother disappear. A week without them and I saw more of the truth now. Signy led the pack like a true Alpha. She wasn't just a crutch to Jakkon, nor was she exactly stood one step behind him. While she submitted to him, she was every bit the Alpha he was.

It made me worry about my own precarious position.

Making a home here came with the job of carving myself a place in the hierarchy too. And for my pup. I rubbed over my bump absentmindedly, looking up at the sky. I smiled a little at the shadow that glided gracefully through thick white clouds, my thoughts settling again...for now.

"Are you ready to get back into the warmth?"

Fenna's voice beat away the remnants of my dark mood. I nodded and pushed away from the wall to go to her side. Smoke clung to her skin and my nose scrunched as I accepted her hand again.

"You need to wash," I said, the words slipping out without meaning to. I cringed, looking up at her in preparation to see a rare scowl on her face.

She threw her head back and she laughed, no sign of anger or offence. "You remind me of my uncle sometimes. You're both so blunt."

I blushed a little anyway, even if she wasn't mad. It wasn't the first time I'd been told that I had a direct way of speaking since I'd been here. A few in the pack had taken joy in pointing it out. Thankfully, they too didn't seem to take offence.

"It's not a bad thing," Fenna assured me. "It's refreshing. Your brother has a talent for saying one thing and meaning another. And I'm pleased you feel you can be so honest about my hygiene."

"If it helps, I've smelled worse," I replied, laughing along with her this time.

She was still chuckling as she helped me up the stairs, going slow when I pressed my hand against an ache low on my back. I could feel the flutter of my pup moving in my belly and smiled. He'd been sleeping, I wasn't sure how I knew that but I did. Somehow he always woke just as I was about to take time to relax.

Fenna tutted when I struggled to bend down to collect my boots from the deck. Peeking up, my lips twitched at the sock she'd picked up from the railing around the fire. It was smouldering, thick wool now charred black.

Oops.

Perhaps I should have left them to dry somewhere else.

Sitting on a stool that had been left outside, I put on the other sock before tugging on my boot. Fenna was still staring at the burnt hole, her lips pressed tightly together. From the glint in her eyes, I knew she was trying to hold in laughter. Bjarke wouldn't be happy I'd ruined what he lent me.

"I'll make him a new pair," I said, taking it from her hand to wear anyway.

She chuckled but nodded then rubbed her arms and looked longingly into the hall. I was quick to pull my other boot on so we could enjoy the warmth. We headed straight for the bench closest to the fire and I held up the hem of my dress in the hopes it would dry quickly.

The hall was surprisingly quiet today. Most of the occupants were pups that were crowded around Sol as he taught them their daily lessons. I watched the pups that whispered at the back, unsurprised to see Tordis amongst them. Sol was quick to growl for their attention.

"Is that what schools are like?" I asked Fenna, who was happy to sate my curiosity about the life she lived before joining the pack.

She glanced over at the pups with a small laugh and shook her head. "Not really. A school is a big building with many teachers and hundreds of students. They don't teach subjects that are learnt here. The human world is vastly different from what you know. I struggled to fit in myself and I grew up amongst humans. It's hard to have friends who can never know the truth of what you are. . ."

"Do you miss it?"

A frown slipped onto her face and I immediately felt guilty for asking. I didn't want to upset her. Shaking her head, she smiled once more.

"There are things I miss, besides family obviously. For instance, the daughter of the Alpha, Raeghan, she and I used to go out for lunch at a cafe we adored. Then to the cinema to see whatever movie caught her fancy; there was in a town not far from us so we didn't have to travel into a busy city. And baths." She sighed, closing her eyes. "Gods do I miss baths. Your brother had Garraidh make one for me you know. It'll have to stay here when the pack moves."

She looked so forlorn over such a simple thing that I couldn't help but laugh. "There's heated pools not far away."

"I know, but it's not the same. One day, I'll have to take you into a human city and show you. We could go see a film, pretend we're humans for the day," she teased, bumping her shoulder into mine.

Even though I was certain there was no way I could pretend to be human, not enough that one wouldn't sense there was something off about me, I appreciated the offer. Fenna had explained movies to me before but it was hard to grasp such a concept. Part of me did want to see for myself. Especially as she'd laughed when I'd compared a film to watching someone tell a story like the wolves did sometimes.

A clatter from the door and a slither of fear coiled up my spine. Fenna spun around on the bench seconds before I did and fear became amusement. Bjarke had returned from running the perimeter, soaking wet, and jostling with the others that had gone with him. I eyed the fresh cuts and bruises on his skin, grinding my teeth together.

The others sported similar wounds. Hagan had the beginnings of a black eye and Aljana had two red lines down her arm. My eyes narrowed on the group but I had to clamp down my wolf's need to growl and snap at whoever had dared touch my mate. Wolves fought in play all the time, I knew that.

Brown eyes found me glaring with folded arms but my mate didn't stop smiling. If anything, his lips stretched wider as if he found my mood. . .what was that word he often used again? Endearing.

"Did you fall in some brambles?" Fenna scoffed, looking Bjarke up and down.

My mate touched his various wounds with pride and smirked over his shoulder at his friends. "I was just reminding them who is Beta here."

Aljana rolled her eyes and headed over to the food that was always on offer in the hall. Hagan trailed behind her, but not before he gave me a tight lipped smile of apology. My chin lifted, eyes narrowing. He was busy trying to get into my good graces, leaving scars on my male wasn't the way to go.

I stood and pushed Bjarke into my seat, eyeing my surroundings for clean linen to clean him up with. Hands on my hips brought my eyes back to him.

"They'll heal in minutes." His tone was soothing, fingers kneading the soft flesh of my hips to draw me closer to him. "You've left far worse scratches on my back."

Fenna made a noise that was somewhere between a snort and a gagging sound. I didn't even acknowledge her. As always he managed to turn my thoughts around and instead of hot with anger, I was hot for an entirely different reason. My Beta's expression became smug and his hands worked their way around until his fingers pressed into the knot of muscle at the base of my spine.

My lips parted on an exhale that was almost a moan. I sunk into his touch and my eyes closed as he worked the pain away. He must have been magic. Even with the bond binding us together, I couldn't read him the way he read me. It was as if my body was his own, my needs felt by him as if they were his needs too.

"I'll not let another leave marks on me again. Forgive me, my mate," Bjarke murmured.

I could only hum in reply, and then purr as the pain finally faded away. Once he was happy with my better mood, he tugged me onto his lap. My head fell to his shoulder and I moved his hand to my belly. Maybe he'd be able to feel our pup kicking.

"Is there any word from the hunters yet?" I asked, playing with the damp strands of hair that clung to Bjarke's neck.

"Not yet, but they'll send someone back with word soon. Don't worry about you father and brother, I know they're okay," he replied, rubbing over my belly. "Jakkon has never failed the Winter hunt."

That was comforting at least.

"And when you patrolled, there was no sign of. . .anyone?" I sat up to better see his face, just in case I saw any sign that he'd tell me a lie.

He knew my fears about Valdis returning, and I knew he and I weren't the only ones that shared such a fear. He'd come back. We all knew it. Valdis was far from done with me. But Jakkon had been certain the coming Winter would deter him from making a move now. I wondered if he'd have decided to stay behind otherwise.

Cupping my cheek, Bjarke rubbed his thumb over my cheekbone. "No sign of anyone. If you still want to escape us, now would be a good time to run."

I whacked his chest but the blow was half-hearted and my mate didn't so much as flinch. Movement in the corner of my eye reminded me that we weren't alone and I blushed to find Fenna watching us both with Signy standing over her shoulder.

"Hitting your mate, is that how I taught you to behave?" Signy tutted.

"I provoked her," Bjarke excused, but he was still pleased with himself.

Signy chuckled and walked behind us, her fingers brushing over the top of my head as she passed. "Anything to report?"

"No, Alpha Female. Dirk is still running the outer border but he should be back soon too. Everything is quiet."

But that didn't mean everything was safe.

Signy nodded with a smile, still stroking my hair and I preened under the affection. It was easier to accept touch now. If anything, I lived for it now, and the acceptance it had me feeling.

Bjarke's jibe about me running away lingered in my thoughts however. I regretted how I'd acted when the pack had found me, I almost wished I could go back and tell myself so everything would have been easier but I doubt I'd have even listened. As much as I hated to admit it, I was little better than feral at the beginning. What was I now?

"Happy thoughts," Bjarke whispered by my ear. His breath tickled my skin, drawing a smile from me and I tilted my head up to kiss his jaw.

"Can you read my mind?" I wondered again in awe.

He chuckled and shook his head. "No my love. You just wear your every thought in your expression."

I'd have to learn to stop that, if only so I could keep some of myself private. But did I really want to? No, I decided, I hoped my mate could always read my mind. Closing my eyes, I enjoyed the feel of his body pressed against mine, his fingers splayed over the growing curve of my belly.

"That might be you one day, Aljana. Curled up on Madden's lap about to burst from carrying a pup." Hagan's teasing voice had me opening my eyes and I smirked. I was just in time to see Aljana cuff the back of the younger wolf's head.

"Wulf will have a pregnant female on his lap before that happens," she sniffed.

I couldn't help but laugh and the rumble of Bjarke's chuckle vibrated through me. Picturing Wulf and his pink cheeks as he listened to Katrin and I talk about sex, I didn't think Aljana was right. As much as she believed in her words, I wasn't so sure Wulf would beat her to becoming a parent. He was still a pup really.

"Perhaps we should place some bets," Hagan continued, not put off in the slightest. "Who will have a pup first, Aljana or Fenna."

My lips curled into a smile as two growls filled the air. Hagan was amused by his nettling of the two females.

I closed my eyes again. Happy to listen to what was going on around me while I got some much needed rest. For once, I felt calm, peaceful even while being surrounded by wolves. There was only a small part of me that remained alert, but even then I would be calm until I felt any shift in Bjarke.

The smell of cooking food began to fill the air and more wolves trickled into the hall, filling up the benches. I didn't have much longer spent relishing in the comfort of my mate before I was bombarded with questions about how the pup and I were doing. But I didn't mind. I loved that the pack were involving me, making sure I was as much a part of any conversation as Signy or Bjarke. Even if that meant also having to suffer being the butt of jokes that set my teeth on edge, reminding me I was still a little wilder, a little more wolf.

"Are you going to eat without complaint tonight?" my mate asked, setting me on my feet so we could take our place at the table.

Fenna's lips twitched as I hummed as if in thought. Bjarke poked my side in retaliation and I grinned.

"Will you feed it to me?" I asked, letting him sit me beside him at the head table.

Bjarke smirked and sat too, leaning in until his lip brushed over my neck. "I would be more than happy to, my love."