Way of the Wolf: Redemption

I knew the Beta was staring at my back from where he was busy with a few males, the Alpha amongst them. I'd avoided him again this morning, waking first, grabbing food and then disappearing to the hall to eat it alone. I'd done it every morning after the night at the hot springs. So far, he'd allowed me my space but I knew his patience was wearing thin.

Normally I was left alone in the hall, unbothered by the pack, today Katrin had come for me. She convinced me to join her outside and I was sure Bjarke had asked her to, because I'd spent time with her before and she was less intimidating than his other choice; the warrior Aljana. I still got the distinct feeling the healer's mate didn't like me and I couldn't blame her.

Katrin sat at the table across from me with my furs laid out before her. They weren't many but she assured me it would be enough to make mittens. I'd snorted when she told me that was what we were going to do. She'd given me a sharp look and proceeded to tell me the story of her brother who'd lost a finger to frostbite. It frightened me into obedience.

"Give me your hands, I need to know how big to make them," she instructed.

I uncurled my fingers from my dress and placed them on top of the furs she pointed to. She gave me a smile and a nod. "Keep them there for me."

When she picked up a sharp blade, I stiffened. She chuckled, gripping one of my wrists to stop me from pulling it away. She scored along the edge of the furs to better fit it to my hand and I watched its path carefully, fearing for my fingers. She did the same with the other hand and as soon as she was finished, I pulled my hands back to my lap.

"I'm only going to do one, you'll do the other so pay attention." She held up the needle and thread, showing me slowly how to push the thread through the loop. "Make sure you hold it firmly, don't lose the end because it easily slips out."

I nodded to show I was listening. She did everything slowly, making sure I followed closely. Instead of leaving me with idle hands, she nodded to the small wooden box.

"Maybe it's be better if we did each stage together, yes?" She rested her hands on the table, waiting for me to catch up.

Taking a needle and a length of thread, I fumbled a few times before getting the thread through. She didn't lose patience with me, even though I did with myself. When it finally slipped through, I grinned triumphantly.

It was easier than I'd built it up in my head. Once I'd watched Katrin for a bit longer, I managed to do the rest without her help. My fingers seemed to know what to do and I found it was enjoyable. Something simple to focus my mind on. My work was nowhere as neat as Katrin's but I was okay with that. It would do its job of saving my fingers from frostbite. I shuddered at the very idea.

"Very good!" she complimented, holding her hand out to inspect it.

A blush rose to my cheeks and I had to look away as she studied the stitching. I knew she was just trying to be polite. She handed the pair back to me to try on and I smiled happily, pleased with them both.

"Thank you, Katrin," I said, making sure to use her name.

"You're welcome. Maybe you can help me with a blanket I'm making for the arrival of my pup. Once you really have the hang of it, I could teach you how to use the loom. It's a little old but it still works. You'll need to make dresses of your own. You can choose a colour you like and I'll teach you which berries to use for dye," she offered, putting the mittens to one side.

There was no point in denying her offer but I might be long gone before I ever got the chance. My leg had almost healed enough that all that lingered was mainly stiffness. Pain only came at the end of the day. Even if these wolves weren't the monsters I'd been told about, I wasn't sure about staying. That night with the Beta, the way I'd wanted to touch him, it frightened me. I didn't want to feel that way. This place was making me weak. Yet at the same time, there was the promise of food everyday, shelter and kind voices.

"I'd like that," I finally murmured, doing my best to smile without teeth.

"Good," she chirped. "How about we make that male of yours a hat. You can give it to him as a peace offering, a thank you for looking after you."

My nose scrunched. I wasn't aware everyone knew he and I had been strained over the last few days. But either way, he wasn't my male. Though perhaps it was a good idea. I needed him to drop his guard and if he thought I was warming up to him. . .

Katrin mistook my hesitancy for uncertainty about my ability to sew such a thing and reached out to take my hand. "He'll appreciate it. We'll do it together but you can tell him you made it yourself."

She winked and I laughed, pulling the last of my furs towards us. What was the harm in doing something nice?

By the time we finished, I was growing restless having sat in one spot from morning into afternoon. Katrin looked like she was feeling the same, rubbing her bump and shifting on the spot.

"I think I would like to go for a walk," she mused.

It did sound nice, I needed to stretch my legs, but I wasn't sure Bjarke would approve. I looked over my shoulder at him, only getting a glimpse of his tattooed back.

"I think I'll have to stay behind," I muttered dejectedly.

Katrin hummed then stood slowly. "I'll talk to him. We won't go far, just around the inner border."

This female trusted me. It was an odd realisation. She hadn't once mentioned any chance of me turning on her, attacking, or running. In truth, I had no intention of any of that. Katrin had taken me under her wing and encouraged me, I had no hate for her.

She made her way over to the males with a charming smile and the Beta looked suspicious as she touched his arm. Leaning down, she whispered words I couldn't make out but his gaze found mine. He grumbled something back then stood and I internally groaned when he followed Katrin over to me. I turned away from him, feeling my heartrate pick up.

"You want to go for a walk?" He leaned on the table, trying to catch my eyes.

"Yes. We won't go far," I said, resisting the urge to look at him.

He sighed, staring at me in silence for a few, long seconds before standing straight. "Don't be too long either. Behave."

I glared at him only to see him smirking. He'd gotten me to look at him, even if it was in irritation. Snatching the hat from the table I shoved into his chest. He blinked, grabbing it before I let it go.

"I made this for you," I snapped, getting to my feet. "Stop treating me like a pup."

"Stop acting like a pup," he growled in reply, now glaring right back at me.

Katrin stood awkwardly to one side, her attention on the clouds passing across the blue sky. I huffed and folded my arms. Maybe I was acting like a pup, avoiding him and ignoring him, but I wasn't sure what I was meant to be facing up to.

I lifted my gaze back to Bjarke and watched him study the hat he held. The tension left him, replaced by a small smile. I was pleased he liked it, it made my chest warm. He leaned down, gripping my shoulders to press his cheek against mine as he whispered a thank you. I closed my eyes, nuzzling into him and my chest vibrated with a gentle rumble before cutting off. I wasn't used to making that sound before, but he answered with a nip to my jaw.

Spinning me around, he pushed me gently towards Katrin. "Off you go then. Watch out for dwarves."

I shook my head, hiding my smile behind the sleeve of my dress. Katrin's eyes glinted and I avoided looking at her.

"I promise I'll look after her," she called over to Bjarke

He nodded once, folding his arms and staying on that spot until we walked out of the camp towards the trees. Katrin walked slowly, one hand resting in her bump. It had been a long time since I'd been around a pregnant female, and I'd watched her lose her pup. The female before that had lost her life and the pup despite my efforts to help. For some reason, it made me scared for Katrin even though I knew she'd born a child before. I still wasn't sure I could bare pups, even with Madden's assurance that as long as I got healthier, there was nothing he could find that said I couldn't.

"I'm surprised your mate lets you be alone with me," I said honestly, making her laugh.

"Because I'm pregnant? He wasn't happy at first but he doesn't get to dictate what I do and don't do. Besides, even round as I am, I can still defend myself." She winked, giving me a small flash of fangs and I didn't doubt what she said was true.

"Tordis is lucky to have you as a mother," I murmured, meaning it.

The smile that lit up her face was bright and beautiful. She reached out to brush her fingers over my cheek. "Thank you. Do you remember your mother?"

Whatever answer I gave her would be relayed to Bjarke, I knew that. I shook my head, deciding to stick with the truth. If I decided to stay, I needed to build real trust, not the shaky ground I'd created.

"Perhaps that's why Signy has taken you in. You're a female without a mother, she's a mother-wolf without her daughter. I'm sure she'd be around your age now."

I frowned up at her. "Signy had a daughter?"

She frowned too, opening and closing her mouth as if she'd realised she said something she shouldn't have. I watched closely. Why hadn't anyone told me this?

"I'm sorry," she stammered. "I assumed you knew. You're always in that cave looking at her statue."

My whole world rocked and I tripped over a root that stuck out the ground. Katrin caught my arm as I doubled over, gasping for breath as my chest tightened. Freydis, the lost pup, was Signy and Jakkon's daughter? And they'd all kept this from me. I was about to demand more but as I inhaled, I caught a familiar scent. All thoughts of that revelation fled my mind as survival instincts kicked in, fear coating my scent.

"Freydis, what's wrong?"

I hushed her, lifting my nose to the breeze, breathing in deeply again. It was unmistakable, but why would they be here? A lump formed in my throat. There was only one reason I could think of; revenge.

"Katrin, I need you to trust me and stay here," I ordered, a bite to my tone that had her eyes widening. I'd never sounded so firm in my life.

Her hands gripped at my arms and she shook her head. "If this is about what I said, don't run. Please don't run. We can go back and you can talk-"

"It isn't about that," I whispered fiercely, wishing she'd keep her voice down. "I'll be right back. I promise."

I slipped easily out of her grip, ignoring her calling out to me. Pain barely registered as I shifted into my wolf, following the trail as quickly but quietly as I could. It led nowhere. In fact, it looped wide around where I'd left Katrin and I realised I'd made a fatal mistake. My claws raked up dirt and I quickly changed direction. A high pitched scream tore through the air, alongside snarling and furious growls.

I skidded to a halt at the sight of Valdis and the other slowly encroaching upon Katrin. She'd pulled a knife from somewhere and wielded it with a shaky hand. When she spotted me, there was uncertainty in her eyes. She wasn't sure what side I was on.

Valdis followed her gaze and he paused, scenting the air until recognition dawned. He snapped his jaws at me, jerking his head to where wolves stood on either side of him. Was he offering me a place with him again?

Looking between him and Katrin, I couldn't believe he'd stoop so low as to attack a heavily pregnant female. Before I knew what I was doing, I threw myself forward and planted myself firmly between them. Back to Katrin, I stood as I'd seen Bjarke, head lifted high, chest puffed out.

Valdis growled and I could almost hear him cursing me as a traitor. The air shimmered as he shifted forms but he looked no less feral in his skin.

"You smell like a male. I should have known you'd let a pack male fuck you for the promise of food. You've betrayed us," he spat, a look of disgust on his face.

I snarled at him but didn't look at any wolf for too long, trying to take in every twitch they made. My heart was hammering fast and I knew Katrin and I were definitely outnumbered. I was in no shape to fight. Perhaps I should have felt guilty, but I knew now what Valdis and his wolves had put me through was wrong. They'd made me believe it was the way of the wolf even in packs, worse so in fact. They'd trapped me with them using fear.

How had I never seen the darkness that clung to the male who'd always claimed he protected me?

"My pack is not far from here. They'll have heard my scream. You should leave now," Katrin demanded, her voice strong and steady.

Valdis chuckled and took a lazy step forward. "But will they get here in time to save you?" He pointed at me then, a smirk stretching his cracked lips. "She may have changed her tune now but she's the one that led us to you."

I froze at that lie and looked over my shoulder. Katrin glanced at me and I could see that she was considering his words. There was no time to shake my head and deny what he'd said. Valdis shifted back into fur and began posturing once more. He wouldn't show mercy. I kept myself rooted. There was no way I was letting him harm Katrin, or the unborn pup, even if she doubted me.

She was hopefully right about the pack hearing her scream but just in case, I lifted my head to howl. The sound was cut short as Valdis tackled me to the ground, his weight crushing me into the dirt. I fought viciously, biting and clawing at anything within reach. Managing to slip from under him, I launched myself at the wolf heading for Katrin, rolling us both to the ground. But there were far too many for me to face alone.

Already, my muscles were straining to keep me moving. Katrin was swift with her blade, slashing one wolf across the face. Her bump stopped her from moving quickly enough though and I was too busy protecting her back that I couldn't get to Valdis before he got to her. I snarled as she stumbled back, shoving the male I fought away to scramble to her aid.

A sharp pain of fangs sinking into my tail and my belly hit the ground. I was dragged back and no amount of digging my claws into the ground slowed me down. Throwing myself around, I clamped my teeth around my attacker's ear and yanked my head, tearing flesh away. The wolf yowled and released me.

Katrin was still backing away from Valdis, sounding her fury as she gripped the now bloody knife. He was making a grave mistake attacking a mother-wolf. Valdis pounced and a horrified whine left me as Katrin hit the ground. I redoubled my efforts, losing all coherent thoughts in my determination to save her. Another wolf joined my attacker, a heavy paw pressing down on my neck. Eyes went wide as my oxygen was cut off and I watched Katrin struggle to get the blade close enough to Valdis to cause harm.

My vision darkened, body going limp as I struggled to breathe. Soon I stopped struggling, unable to so much as lift a paw. Just as I was sure I was going to pass out, the weight disappeared from my throat. I gasped a breath, writhing in panic as my lung expanded. I recognised the pack amongst the Wanderers who began to back off before turning and running. Valdis with them, leaving his prey on the ground to flee. A group of the pack went after them, snapping at their tails and I prayed that they'd catch them.

I shifted back to my skin involuntarily, rubbing at the bruised skin around my throat. Coughing and wheezing, I tried to push myself up. Strong hands held me and at first I panicked until I recognised the scent and patterned chest of my keeper. His hands were running over me, checking me for injury but the worst was a bite that would heal quickly.

"Katrin," I choked out, pushing him away.

Finding her amongst the throng of warriors, she was being held by her mate who was glaring in my direction. I cowered at such hatred, hiding back against the Beta's chest.

"You fought to protect her, Freydis. I'm proud of you," he whispered, keeping my trembling form against him.

Tears were spilling down my cheeks without me really noticing as adrenaline wore off. I slid my hands up, needing to feel how solid this male was. I'd fought the very wolves I'd lived with, wolves that had no second thoughts about killing me.

The Beta rumbled, wrapping me in his arms, and the tears came faster, harder. I sobbed for everything I'd been through. Every beating, every lie, every time I'd been forced beneath a male, and every time they'd stolen pleasure from me when I'd been unwilling. The hunger, nearly dying of starvation, of the cold, of fighting for scraps.

Now I belonged nowhere.

"Let's get you home," Bjarke murmured, standing and lifting me I to his arms.

"Wait," Dirk snapped, standing with his mate tucked into his side. She was rubbing her bump, looking as shaken as I did but she was mostly unharmed.

Bjarke turned to him, eyes narrowed. "I get the feeling I'm not going to like what you're going to say."

Deep down, I knew what he was going to say. Katrin had told him what Valdis had accused me of but there was no truth in it and I knew Bjarke would believe me.

"It's a bit of a coincidence they attacked while it was just my mate and that female," he stated, lifting his chin. "Their leader said she lead them to us."

"I did no such thing!" I argued, looking pleadingly up at Bjarke.

His jaw was tense, arms tightening almost painfully around me. "She had no part in this. I've been watching her since we took her, there's no way she led them here. They must have followed our trail, it's not impossible. Why would she fight to protect your mate if she was with them, Dirk?"

"Guilt," Dirk replied without missing a beat.

Katrin shook her head, turning her mate's face to her. "She was as frightened as I was. They didn't hold back when they attacked her, if you hadn't arrived, she would be dead. I would be dead."

He studied her face, cupping a cheek as he thought over her words. I was relieved Katrin was on my side too. Valdis was a master of lies.

"We will see what the Alphas decide," he finally said, turning his mate for home. "I trust Hagan and the others to track them. I want that leaders throat for myself."

A small part of me bristled at that. My wolf wanted Valdis' throat. I wanted to taste his blood as he had mine many a time. I wanted to slaughter and rage at the ones who'd hurt me.

"I want the herbs. . .please," I whimpered, closing my eyes against the emotions that threatened to overwhelm me.

I felt him hesitate and look down at me, the sway of his walk keeping me settled. It was something I'd grown used to.

"Okay. . .okay, you can have some when we get back. This last time."