Waiting For Spring

Without slowing my pace I removed my shoes, hearing them clatter loudly against the wooden floors. I quickly rounded another corner and began pulling at the hairstyle Marla had forced upon me. My head had been throbbing from the many pins that had been stabbing me throughout the night. Only then, as my thoughts started to move more freely did the gravity of what I had done truly set in.

I was dead. The king was certain to kill me after how I had acted in his rooms. I had disrespected him without thought of the consequences.

I raced down the corridors of the castle with renewed speed. Panic and fear fuelling my body as startled maids and butlers hurried to get out of my way. They pressed themselves against the walls of the corridor many of them watching me with wide eyes and worried expressions.

When I turned down an empty corridor, I realised I could no longer hear the thunderous growl of the king or the pounding of the guards’ feet behind me. Gasping for my breath, I slowed my pace down to a walk, my bare feet padding softly against the marble floors of the lower levels of the castle.

I took the time to think about my next move as I round another corner to find a wall made nearly entirely of glass, even the doors. I couldn’t stop the gasp that escaped my lips, drawing the attention of the two guards that stood stoically by the doors. They regarded me with mild interest, but it seemed they had yet to receive the news about the escapee princess. They might not even have known there was a princess within the castle walls and if I had my way I wouldn’t be trapped behind them much longer.

Straightening my spine, I gathered my skirts and threw my shoulders back. Much like I had seen the noblewomen do in the town square on market day. They glided through the crowds with a grace that seemed almost ethereal. I tried to emulate their posture and superior looks, but I knew my amazement easily shone through my mask.

They guards didn’t seem to care how I looked, watching me now with only mild curiosity as I approached. The glass wall was impressive with only a few sections broken up with stone columns. It was almost as if the outside were inside and I felt the bubble of excitement start to build in my chest.

As I drew nearer to the door one of the guards shifted, and I stumbled back, preparing to run only to notice him reach for the door handle. His fellow guard regarded me curiously but seemed to think nothing of my strange behaviour as I shot him a shaky smile in an attempt to downplay my actions.

Before I moved to the door, I cast a nervous glance behind me only to find the hallways clear of furious kings.

A small smile spread across my face before I returned my attention to the garden, the delicious smells of the final flowers of the season filling my senses. Summer had run deep into Autumn this year allowing flowers to bloom longer than usual resulting in the cacophony of colour I saw across the castle’s expansive grounds. I breathe the scents in deeply, loving how they fill my chest with a sense of safety and warmth. Summer has always treated me better than winter, especially on the streets.

I took a tentative step towards the beauty before me, breathing a short breath of relief when no one moved to stop me. Once I was certain no one would stop me, I floated passed the curious guards who seemed to be becoming more nervous with me by the minute. I knew it was best that I get passed them before they asked questions I couldn’t give them the answers to. I gave them a polite nod before I was moving swiftly through the rows of flowers and hedges.

The remaining leaves on the trees were glowing silver in the moonlight while the colours of the flowers burst through the shadows, barely dulled by the darkness of the night sky. Glancing at the high castle walls, I saw guards patrolling along its perimeter and instead resolved to find a quiet place. A hidden place that would keep me out of sight if only for a moment longer.

My feet sunk gloriously into the lush green grass as I moved through the gardens, not even caring that my dress snagged of many of the plants as I walked passed. I was the lone soul in the garden, free to roam as far and as wide as my feet could carry me but knowing my time was limited. Instead, I laid beside a bush of beautiful, deep red flowers. The rose bushes seemed to have grown without restraint, almost forgotten as they grew across this corner of the garden. Many of the flowers had begun to wilt, and I couldn’t help but wonder how long before winter would steal their beauty away. How long before they succumbed to the will of the season?

Gazing up at the night sky, sparks of light breaking through the inky darkness. I lost myself in lonely thoughts and a future of certain uncertainty. I had always believed that I could keep myself free of anything that could bind me to a single place. Yet, here Iw as a prisoner of a king who refused to see it my way, who refused to acknowledge that I wasn’t who he wanted me to be.

The gravity of the day’s events begin to press down heavily on my chest, and I feel the overwhelming need to scream, to shout and to run. Anything to rid the feeling of being trapped from my body, but afraid to give away my hiding place too soon I instead felt a hot tear roll down my cheek.

Another quickly followed, filled with the pain of being trapped inside the walls of the castle. The understanding that the life I had once known may never be the life I had again. I may never see the boys I ran through the streets with, who I had survived with. I have never pitied the life I lived, but now I was being forced to forget about it and assume the life of a ghost. Why didn’t the king understand that the girl he was looking for, the girl he so desperately wanted returned to him no longer existed?

I laid upon the damp, grass for what seemed like mere minutes before I heard arguing voices encroaching quickly upon my silence. I heard a deep voice nearby shout the Princess’ name, but I remained where I was. It didn’t matter how far I ran unless I could leap his castle walls. I had nowhere to run to where he would not find me. The man’s shouting grew louder, his footsteps harsh and destructive through the gardens in his pursuit.

“Arlarose-” he began once more only to come up short. I could only assume that he had seen me, nestled among the rose bushes.

Still, I refused to cast him a look, instead, keeping my attention focused on the starry night sky.

“James,” he shouted loudly, alerting the King to having found me before he turned back to me and heaved a tired sigh. I was acutely aware of his every movement in my direction. I could almost feel the earth shift beneath his feet as he came to sit beside me, disappointment falling from his body in waves.

“You’ve made the king very angry, princess,” he said gravely, gazing up at the night sky beside me.

“My name is Rosie,” I replied flatly.

“Rosie, you can not act this way, the king...he will not tolerate this behaviour, regardless of who you are.”

“What more can he do? I am already his prisoner, trapped within his walls and if he has his way, chained to his side until the moment I breathe my final breath.” I hissed, shooting the captain a harsh look.

“You’re not a prisoner,” he tried to soothe, looking at me with pleading brown eyes.

“Can I leave?”

“As his wife, your life will always be entwined with his,” he answered, avoiding confirming what I already knew. He knew as well as I that once the King placed a ring upon my finger that I would be locked away, like a caged bird, never free to spread my wings again. I would appear on only the King’s arm at royal events, and whenever he needed me to be seen. Then I will be returned to my cage for him and others to look at but never set free.

“This country and your own need this marriage Rosie, James needs it. The war with your brothers is draining on all of his nations resources. Citra’s enemies from the surrounding nations are lying in wait for an opportune time to attack, for when we are at our weakest.

“I cannot do this. I do not wish to be his princess, let alone a queen. Why did you have to recognise me? Why could you have not just left me in the cells?” I asked in defeat.

“If I had known the trouble you would cause I just might have,′ he chuckled humourlessly, “but my duty is to my king and my country. They will always come above all else.”

“So you would forsake me to a life without love to a man who is more selfish and controlling than any I have met before?” I demanded, anger lacing my every word.

The captain was saved from answering me by the sudden commotion which had erupted behind him as the king approached. The captain was quickly on his feet and moved swiftly to the fuming king. There were hushed words and rumbling whispers between the two as anger seemed to vibrate from the King’s chest.

I await his first words with trepidation and defeat, and his rumbling growl did not disappoint.

“Princes,” he bellowed, towering over me, red faced and breathing heavily. “I demand you to show respect to your king. I will not stand for this insolence.”

“Then, by all means, sit,” I shot back scathingly eliciting an almost animalistic growl from the King. Suddenly, before I could even blink a hand wrapped bruisingly around my arm yanking me from where I lay on the grass and setting me harshly on my feet.

“How dare you speak to me in this manner, I am your king, and you will respect that.”

“I do not respect you,” I shouted, trying to pry his fingers from his arm as sharp pricks started to spread over my fingertips.

“James,” the captain warned but fire filled the King’s eyes, and I wasn’t sure if anyone was going to be able to bring him back.

“She needs to learn her place,” he answered, my stomach flipping as I tried to regain my composure. I didn’t want him to see the fear that riddled my body. I didn’t want him to know that he had won.

“A-and what place is that,” my voice giving way to the fear pumping through my veins.

“Step back James,” the captain warned again, taking a wary step in our direction but the King refused to move away. He refused to give me even an inch.

“Your place is exactly where I order you to be. You are under my command and control and if you forget I will be more than willing to remind you. You try to run, and any freedom you may have had will be stripped.”

“You can’t do this,” I whispered, my voice weak with fear. I felt as if the world were closing in on me as if I couldn’t get enough air in my lungs.

“When will you understand princess, I can do whatever I please?” He smirked dangerously, sending shards of ice through my veins until my body shook with the chill of it.

“James, that’s enough,” the captain ordered, placing himself between myself and the King forcing him to drop the hold he had on my arm. I stumbled back, my legs numb and my arm pulsing where he had held me.

“Step aside Troy,” the King commanded, but the captain stayed firm.

“Is this how you want her to see you?” The captain hissed, trying to keep his voice low so I wouldn’t hear. “Look at her James. Look at what you have done.” The King seemed to think about his friend’s words for a moment before his eyes met mine. I stepped back from his scrutiny as a frown marred his features. His deep brown eyes were filling with an emotion akin to regret before he looked away again. His shoulders slumped, but his fists clenched tightly at his sides.

“Troy, if you would, please escort the princess back to her rooms. It is late,” he instructed gently, never meeting either of our eyes. The captain watched him for a moment longer before shaking his head and turning to face me, an unreadable look on his face.

“Princess,” he promoted, extending his arm for me to take and cautiously I took a step in his direction. When the King made no move to look at me, I stumbled closer to the captain, allowing him to rest my arm atop his.

Troy gave my hand a reassuring squeeze before leading me away from the king. When I glanced back I saw him with his hands clasped tightly behind his back and his face tilted towards the night sky, scrutinising the stars as if they held the answers he sought.

Troy led me silently through the gardens, without hesitation. He never looked back for the king or down at me.

He didn’t even pause at the doors that still stood open, the guards from before now absent. For a moment I wondered where they were but I couldn’t bring myself to ask.

“Princess,” Troy began suddenly, and my head snapped in his direction, his voice filling the silence of the barren corridors. “You will need to learn to act with respect in the presence of the king. Another outburst like that and there is no telling what he will do to you.”

“What more could he take away from me?” I mumbled, my skin beginning to crawl under his chastisement. I have lived a life devoid of any rules, how was I ever to kerb my behaviour to align it with what the king deemed acceptable.

“Princess, he is the king. He can take everything away from you.”

“I have nothing,” I shrugged sadly, the soles of my bare feet padding softly against one of the many rugs that filled the castle’s corridors. “There is nothing left for him to take. All I want is to return to the life I have always known.”

“That is never going to be a possibility,” the captain tutted, displeased with my answer enough that nothing more was said until we reached the doors of a room with two familiar guards standing sentry outside. I attempt to unwind my arm from the captain’s, but he holds it firm. I look over at him curiously to find him staring down at my feet in shock.

“Princess, where are your shoes?′ He asked gravely, and I felt a slight smile tug at my lips.

“I suppose they are still down one of the castle hallways. I’m not certain of which, I was in a bit of a rush,” I answered flippantly.

“You can not walk around barefoot. It is not appropriate for the future queen to be seen this way,” Troy scolded, and I quickly felt my smile turn into a frown.

“I never intended to be queen, so I guess it is irrelevant,” I shrugged, finally tugging my arm free and taking a step away from the gawking captain of the guard. I looked up at the guard I knew to be Mantai and found he was also watching my feet with thinly veiled disgust before he quickly diverted his eyes noticing me watching him. I sighed in frustration before looking back at the captain to find that he had finally found his composure again.

“Princess Arlarose, this is the Princess’ suite,” he explained, formality returning as he regarded me. “You will be staying here until you are married to his Majesty, then you will move into the Queen’s suite.” Noticing my disinterest, he heaved a heavy sigh before he turned to the two guards standing beside the doors of the room.

“The princess is not permitted to leave her rooms, nor is anyone to be granted access without the express permission from either his Majesty or myself.” He instructed, any personality quickly disappearing from his body as he assumed the title of captain of the guard, diligently instructing his charges.

The two men nodded their understanding before Troy turned his attention back to me.

“Please don’t go running off again,” he started, a small smirk suddenly spreading across his face causing me to frown in confusion. “The palace guards could not handle the embarrassment. The two guards at the king’s room and those by the gardens have been issued stable duty for the foreseeable future because of your actions.”

“Maybe you should train your warriors better,” I challenged, smirking up at an amused captain of the guard.

“Maybe I should have you instruct them on how to deal with mischievous princesses.”

“I don’t know about princesses, but my brand of mischief is a secret I will keep with me until the day I die.”

“I daresay there is not another like you Rosie,” he smiled ruefully. “Goodnight, Princess,” he bowed, and I watched him for a moment as he paused as if expecting something.

“Goodnight, Troy,” I mimicked, and he simply chuckled before opening the door to the rooms and nodding for me to go inside.

“Sleep well princess,” he said gently before the doors closed firmly behind me and I heard the sound of metal scraping against metal as the key slid in and out of the lock.

Sighing sadly, I gazed around the candle lit room. They were much larger and far more extravagant than my previous rooms although they still paled in comparison to the King’s. I had never known such opulence.

In the corner, there was even a pianoforte that would more than likely remain disused if I continued to stay here. I couldn’t help but think that I had no business being here. I was nothing but a common thief, yet somehow I had been condemned to a life of opulence I had never dreamed of having. Yet, despite their worth, these rooms held very little value to me. They were just objects to fill empty spaces, spaces that I was eager to leave behind as fast as I could concoct an escape plan.

Suddenly, I heard the snick of a door opening, and I jumped as panic fluttered in my chest. I felt my feet instinctively start to back up towards the door of the room. Light footsteps sounded through the room sending my heart into nervous flutters as my stomach seemed to disappear altogether. Desperately, I glanced around the room for anything I could use to defend myself, but I had never been a fighter. I was a planner, and right now I had no plan.

When the footsteps grew louder, I stumbled back into the door all too aware that the lock was firmly in place. I wasn’t expecting to hear the lock slide out of place and the door to come out from behind me.

“Highness?” came a gruff voice and my head snapped up to find a concern Mantai looking down at me.

“There is someone inside,” I gasped, grabbing at the lapels of his royal blue uniform. He nodded at the other guard as he pulled me into the corridor. The other more reserved guard stepped inside the rooms with his hand placed readily on the hilt of his sword. He scanned the room before moving to one of the doors but before he reached it the doors swung open. Standing in the doorway was a shocked Marla. The guard released a quiet chuckle before his hand fell from the hilt of his sword and he turned back to face Mantai and I. I quickly ducked my head as my face began to flame with embarrassment.

“My lady, is something wrong?” Marla asked in her gravely voice as she dipped into a perfect curtsey. I felt the same unsettling feeling as before, uncomfortable with the action. I shook my head in reply as my cheeks flamed further.

“I didn’t know someone else would be inside,” I whispered, too embarrassed to raise my voice as I untangled myself from Mantai.

“I was preparing you bedchambers my lady,” and I glanced up just in time to see a smirk spread across the older woman’s face.

“I’m sorry,” I muttered to Mantai, making a move back inside.

“It is my job to protect you, your highness,” he smiled, but I could only nod in response. In no mood to smile when I was the reason for theirs.

“Come, my lady, I must prepare you for bed,” Marla ordered in that tone that suggested I had no say in the matter. Bashfully, I walked across the room, not missing the sound of the door closing and the locks sliding in place again.

When I was within reach, Marla quickly ushered me into the next room standing me before a full length looking glass before she started to remove the now ruined evening dress.

She tutted at the state of me but didn’t speak otherwise. Her disapproval was obvious, but I couldn’t focus on her as my thoughts quickly turned to the king’s words from earlier in the night. Just the thought of what he said had my heart lurching, and my breathing quickening as the walls began to close in on me. I didn’t want to be trapped here all my life. I didn’t want to be tied to anyone, let alone a king where everything action would be scrutinised.

I had seen the ladies in the square, the way everyone watched their every movement and listened to their every word. That was assuming that the king ever lets me out of his sight. I knew that if I allowed this marriage to proceed, I would become nothing less than a trinket on his arm. I would be irrelevant and useless.

He had made it abundantly clear that I was nothing but an object in a deal that had been made long ago by my supposed parents and his. My sole purpose would be to produce an heir and then what would I become, nothing more than a relic on a shelf. Forgotten.

A wave of helplessness washed over me as Marla led me silently over to the vanity with a smaller looking glass. She started to wash my face and brush through my now matted hair. Tutting the entire time, displeased that I had ruined her up-do when I had run from the castle. I watched her in the looking glass, a permanent scowl on her face, adding more wrinkles to her eyes and more than likely more grey hairs to her already extensive collection.

Once she finished braiding my hair with her deft touch, she curtseyed, bidding me goodnight with the promise she would be back in the morning to complete the process in reverse. I just hoped I wasn’t here when she returned.

I thought she would leave after that, but she remained, standing vigil until I was nestled beneath the covers of my bed and my eyes were firmly shut. I pretended to be asleep in the hopes she would leave, and my patience was rewarded when I heard a door open almost half an hour later. My eyes peeked open in time to see her disappear through a secret door in the wall before it fell shut behind her, leaving me in the shadows of the room. The last candle extinguished long ago.

Warily, I pushed back the heavy covers on the bed, brushing aside the deep red, velvet canopy and tiptoeing across the chilled floors to where Marla had disappeared.

I eyed the wall accusingly, pushing gently on the false wall to get it to open as Marla had, but it appeared to be locked.

After trying every possible way to get the mystery door open I gave up and headed for the glass doors that led out to a small stone balcony.

Being on the second floor of the castle, I knew I wouldn’t be able to jump from this height. I could only hope there was a nearby tree or something similar which would allow me to descend from this height without injury.

However, when I reached the doors I found they too were locked, the key already removed. No doubt in anticipation of my attempted escape.

Stifling a yawn, I looked back at the inviting bed, weariness settling heavily over my body as the knowledge that I was indeed trapped inside my rooms started to sink in.

Shuffling tiredly to my bed, I resolved to find an escape in the morning, hopefully after I had a hot breakfast for what would be the first time in my life. I drifted off into unconsciousness with images of bacon and eggs piled high and all sorts of breakfast muffins dancing through my dreams.