(Un)wise

I woke with a start, the terror of the dream still gripping me. Sweat coated my face, and my soaked shirt clung to my skin. I looked around the room. My room. Safe. I let out a shaky breath and tried to convince myself that the dream had only been a product of my imagination. Nothing more.

The alarm clock next to my bed showed just after five a.m., but it felt like I hadn’t slept at all.

Kicking off the covers, I got out of bed. Clothes lay scattered on the floor, shadowy lumps that I stepped over on my way to the bathroom. I turned on the light and scrunched my eyes against its bright glare for a moment.

Scrubbing my hands over my face, I leaned against the sink trying to shake the dream. It just wouldn’t fade. I dropped my hands to study myself in the mirror. Dark strands of hair stuck to my glistening pale face, an unnatural flush on my cheeks the only splash of color. Even my lips, usually a warm full pink, matched the surrounding colorless skin. Glassy bloodshot eyes, too wide and filled with lingering panic, stared back at me.

I took a deep, unsteady breath. It wasn’t real. I was still me. I let my breath out slowly with a self-deprecating laugh. I looked like crap and needed a shower. Great way to start my senior year.

The details of the dream continued to swirl in my head as I stepped into the shower. The lingering sensation of fur hides brushing against my legs scared me. It made it all seem more like a memory than a dream. A memory from an era long past, seen through the eyes of a woman who wasn’t me…yet she was.

She wore animal skins and stood outside her mud and grass hut. Other huts surrounded hers. The heavily clouded sky cast a grey gloom on the primitive village. Fear swelled within her. Her fear filled me as if it were my own. I saw what she saw. I was her…yet not.

People ran past her, sprinting between huts, terror in their eyes. Her stomach turned sour with panic. Her vision suddenly changed. The world disappeared, replaced by nothing but tiny sparks floating in a vast darkness. The sparks moved, flying past her in time with the sound of running feet. After a moment, I understood what she saw.

She had an amazing ability that enabled her to see the locations of people. The sparks shrank in size as the view expanded. Not just the location of those around her, but anywhere in the world. She focused on the immediate area worried about her family, using her gift to try to find them. She ran to check each spark. The tang of smoke drifted in the air. Her despair grew, and she ran faster.

All of the tiny sparks looked the same, making it difficult to find the right ones. Too soon, an orange glow illuminated the dark sky. Smoke burned her eyes and nose.

Close by, a different color appeared in her mind. Panic flared within her when she spotted the blue-grey sparks. She stopped running and stood still for a few seconds, terror squeezing the acrid air from her lungs. One heartbeat. Two. She hesitated. Despairing over her family, she spun away from the unique sparks. Her heart clenched, and tears clogged her throat. She left behind those she loved, hearing their dying screams as she ran.

The smoke masked her direction until the yawning abyss of open air loomed before her. Skidding to a halt at the edge of the cliff near her village, she watched dirt tumble over the ledge. She leaned forward, peering over at the broken rocks below. Hopelessness and despair filled her. There was no escape. Her thoughts filled me. Die as they had or die her own way? She continued to stare at the rocks below as she made up her mind.

I struggled to separate myself from her, to scream at her to stop; but inside her own mind, she couldn’t hear me.

She glanced over her shoulder and saw a huge beast running at her. A strange calm filled her.

I finally understood the fear and stopped struggling.

It looked like a wolf on steroids and had blood covering its muzzle. As she watched, it changed midstride from beast to man, never pausing.

She turned and flung herself from the cliff. As she fell, she twisted midair to look back at the fate she’d escaped. The man stood naked at the cliff’s edge, blood smeared across his face. He yelled in a language I couldn’t understand, but she did. He cursed her, saying they would never give up. They would wait as many cycles as it took until we were all theirs.

I woke before she hit the ground; but the fear, the feeling of freefalling, the willingness to die rather than to fall into the hands of that thing…it all stayed with me.