Until You (Off-Limits)

My heart feels heavy as I sit down in one of the seats by the gate, my mind automatically replaying the last time I was on a plane. It was with Gray, and I was heartbroken then, too.

It didn’t feel the way it does now, though. Back then, it was the betrayal that pained me. This time… this time it’s Gray that’s killing me. It’s the memory of him, the love I still carry deep within. Boarding this plane doesn’t feel like a fresh start like it did then. No. Now it feels like I’m leaving my heart behind.

A tear runs down my cheek, and I can’t help but wonder if I’m making the right choice. I stayed for weeks even as he pulled away, giving me no indication that he wanted me with him. Should I have stayed nonetheless? I want to be there for him, but my presence only seemed to be an additional burden to him.

All of my doubts and insecurities melt together, making me second-guess everything. I truly thought Grayson and I could get through anything together. That our love was strong enough to carry us through the darkest days. I was wrong.

I’m snapped out of my thoughts when all the lights at the airport suddenly flicker. Every screen in the vicinity goes dark, only to be lit up with an image that has me freezing in shock. I stare up at the video of Grayson with wide eyes.

“Aria?” The sound echoes through every speaker, and my jaw drops. All around me people stare up at the screen, most of them as shocked as I am. What’s going on? Grayson pulls on his tie and stabilizes the camera. The video seems to be streaming from a mobile device.

“Don’t get on that plane. I’m begging you, Aria. I’m begging you to stay. I’m on my way to the airport right now,” he says, glancing at his watch. “I know you’ll start boarding within the next ten minutes, but I beg of you, don’t get on that plane.”

He runs a hand through his hair, his expression pained. “Aria, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me, and letting you go was the worst thing I ever could have done. It’s only been a few hours, and I can truthfully tell you that these are the single worst hours of my life. I thought I was doing what’s best for both of us, but I was wrong. I was so wrong, baby. My fear of hurting you blinded me to the pain I put you through, Ari.”

Grayson sits up, seemingly urging whoever is driving to go faster. “I love you,” he says. “I love your smile, your wicked intellect, your heart. I know I don’t deserve you, Aria… but I’ll spend every waking moment for the rest of my life working on being a better man. That still might not be enough, but Aria, I swear, if you give me a chance, I’ll never stop trying. I’ll never stop doing whatever I can to make you happy, to make you smile.”

The camera shakes, and Gray appears to be on the move. “I know I’ve hurt you. I know you think I don’t care, and that I didn’t notice you in the last couple of weeks. Baby, have a look at the contents of my phone.”

The screen flashes with what must be hundreds of photos of me, one after the other. Some are of me at work, some at home. They’re all photos of me doing the most mundane things, all of them taken without me even realizing it. There are photos of me doing simple stuff like working on my laptop at home, some of me standing by the coffee machine at work, then there are selfies of the two of us, with me asleep on Gray’s chest.

“I’m desperate, clearly, because at this point, I don’t even care about the world knowing how obsessed I am with you. I’m so fucking in love with you. Even when my fears were at their height, and I was convinced you’d leave me, I wanted to capture these moments to cherish for the rest of my life. But you know what, Aria? The memories aren’t enough. I need you. I love you so much that life has no meaning without you, and I know you love me, too. I know it, Aria. I know you do, and that’s enough. So long as you love me, we’ll make this work. I’ll do anything to have one more chance. I know I’ve hurt you, but I’ll spend the rest of our lives earning your forgiveness.”

There’s a commotion around the corner, countless people murmuring and stepping aside, revealing Grayson walking up to me. His eyes meet mine, and he puts his phone away, the video cutting off.

“Aria,” he murmurs, pausing in front of me. He grabs my hands and holds them tightly. He sinks down to his knees and looks up at me. “I’m begging you. Please stay. I’m not asking you for your forgiveness. All I’m asking for is a chance to earn it.”

I look into his eyes, completely thrown. “Grayson, why are you here? Why now? The screens… what were you thinking?”

Everyone’s eyes are on us, and countless phones are pointed at us too. I glance around, flustered.

“You turned your phone off, and I was scared you’d get on that plane. I had no choice. I couldn’t let you go. I couldn’t care less about the repercussions I’ll face for hacking into the airport’s systems.”

My heart twists painfully, and I swallow hard. “You’ve been letting me go for months now,” I whisper, and he shakes his head.

“Never, baby. I know it seemed like that to you, but I never stopped loving you. Will you give me a chance to prove it? I’ll do anything.”

I stare at him, trying to assess his sincerity. The desperation in his eyes; that can’t be fake. “Can you promise me you’ll communicate with me? Promise me you’ll actively work on overcoming the challenges we’re facing. I don’t think this’ll get better without therapy, Gray. Promise me you’ll do whatever it takes, that you won’t shut me out again when things get hard. Promise me, Gray.”

I expected him to hesitate, but he doesn’t. He nods and tightens his grip on my hands. “I promise. Anything you want me to do, I’ll do. All I want is to be a better man for you, Aria. There’s nothing I won’t try. Please, just tell me you’ll stay.”

The pleading look in his eyes has my heart racing. I’ve doubted him for weeks until I was certain we were at a point of no return. I thought he gave up on us. But maybe it’s not only his vision that was clouded by insecurity and fear. Maybe it was mine too.

I smile at him, my eyes filling with tears. “Then yes, Grayson. I’ll stay.”