Unmasked

It has been a week of avoiding Thando and his calls, at this point I just want to take care of my child and that doesn’t involve anything that will stress me – thoughts of Thando just stress me to the core.

‘Are you sure you want to do this?’ Zac asks me

I thought I would find him looking terrible but surprisingly he looks better than he has in years. He is clean shaven, his skin is back to it’s original colour and he looks like he has put on muscle.

‘Wait why are you starring at me like that?’ he asks again this time pointing a finger at me

‘I hate to say this but prison looks good on you Zac, I have been scared of coming to see you afraid of what you have turned into but look at you.’

‘You know I survive under any conditions right?’

‘I know, but you also know what I am talking about. The judge said with hard labour I didn’t expect you to be looking like this.’

‘I look handsome right?’

He asks with a grin lifting a brow

‘Of course you do, too handsome. It’s weird.’

‘Well, I have found love.’

‘Excuse me?’

‘I have found love, they are some really good men in here and I didn’t know that my holes were capable of stretching that much.’

‘Gross Zac. Too much information.’ I say making a face

‘I knew I would get to you.’ He says laughing out loud

‘It’s not funny you know.’

‘It is if you see your face.’ He says laughing some more and that has me rolling my eyes.

‘The first few days were hell you know, I guess the demons were finally coming alive and it was hard for me to deal with them. But we get therapy sessions in here.’

‘Therapy?’

‘Yeah, we have people volunteering to come and talk to us. I bet it makes them feel good about their pathetic lives thinking they are coming to save us.’

I eye him.

‘Of course they are saving us, but I just wish that they could genuinely do it.’

‘What if they are?’

‘What if they are not? Zara I have spent so many of years of my life encountering very bad people you don’t honestly expect me to fold at the sight of a therapist.’

I try to hold myself together but it’s hard so I end up laughing.

‘What’s funny now?’

‘You know.’

‘Really?’

‘You are out here talking about how you think these therapists come here just to make themselves feel good and yet you are getting the help that you need. How about you accept that they are helping you but you are too proud to agree and tell it to my face?’

‘Go back home I am tired of this visit.’

‘Right.’ I say laughing and he just smiles whilst shaking his head.

‘Wait, we were talking about you going to see Celine’s Aunt.’

‘Yeah.’ I say breathing out deeply.

‘Do you think that is a good idea?’

I shrug my shoulders. Just the thought of seeing her makes my stomach turn but it has been giving me sleepless nights.

‘Well if it’s something that has been bugging you then maybe you should see her.’

‘Can I ask you something Zac.’

‘Shoot.’

‘Do you have regrets? About everything? Our parents? Gabriel? Celine? Do you ever wish that maybe it could have been handled better?’

He shakes his head.

‘For real?’

‘Zara our parents just like Gabriel hurt you, of course maybe I was wrong for playing God but I protected you how best I thought I could. Maybe someday I will wake up and feel bad for what I did but that day hasn’t come yet. As for Celine, I could have handled that situation better. I should have freed her, but if I am being totally honest I think I liked that somehow there was one woman in the world apart from you that was willing to be with me despite my faults. One that could still put up with everything that I put her through, I was glad to have that with Celine even though I couldn’t tell her. I could have handled that better, there is no punishment that will ever equate to what I did to her you know.’

I reach out my hand and hold his.

‘I think you accepting that you errored is punishment enough, and where ever she is – she is glad that you have accepted. She was a good person, turned out evil because of what we put her through.’

‘I put her through.’ He corrects.

‘Yes Zac, she turned out evil because of what you pit her through.’ I pause

‘Where was I going with this before you rudely interrupted me?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘Pregnancy brain.’ I say leaning back

‘Maybe going to see her Aunt is a good idea after all. Send my apologies, I know that won’t bring back her niece but I just want her to know that I am sorry.’

‘I will.’

‘And about Thando, don’t worry, he will sign the divorce papers.’

‘What are you going to do?’

‘I am bone of your bone, flesh of your flesh Zara. What affects you affects me. If anyone tries to harm you, whoever they are, I will harm them. I can promise you this.’

‘You first told me those words when we were ten.’

‘And I have stuck by them, he will sign those divorce papers don’t worry.’

‘I love you.’

‘I love you.’

…

Kwenje’s Girl

Winnie

🙇🏾‍♀️