(Un)bidden

It was a relief when Winifred left with another truck bed full of metal. Throughout the weekend, she’d continued to be nothing but kind. It just made keeping something from her harder. I wanted to tell her. Yet every time I set my mind to do so, something stopped me. It was as if a little voice in my head whispered caution.

“I wish she would have brought more eggs,” Mary said as I closed the outer door.

Winifred had brought six dozen. We ate three Saturday and three again that morning. It wasn’t just the men who liked to eat well. Mary did too. I grinned at her.

“She said she’d bring more next weekend. Until then, you’ll have to make due with oatmeal,” I said. Mary made a face and turned back to the dishes. I went to join her.

I was mentally preparing for another week of monotony when Thomas and Gregory walked in from outside.

“Ready, Charlene?”

“For what?” I asked, setting aside a plate.

“I thought we’d start with a walk along the north border.”

“Is that far?” I finished drying the last plate and wiped my hands.

“Far enough that I’d need to carry you there and back if we don’t want to sleep out there.”

There wasn’t much to do here. The laundry from the weekend could wait until tomorrow, and Mary was already making eyes at Gregory.

“Did you need me here for anything?” I asked her anyway.

“No. Go on and enjoy your day. Gregory and I will find something here to occupy ourselves.”

A slow grin spread on Gregory’s face.

I blushed and focused on Thomas.

“All right.”

He chuckled and motioned for me to lead the way out the door. As soon as we were in the yard, he scooped me up in his arms again. The feel of his skin under the palm of my hand made me blush further.

He ran with ease, covering the distance to the lake and then past it. Bramble filled in between the trees, but Thomas always managed to find narrow trails around or through them. When my face grew a little cold from the cool forest air, I turned into his heat and laid my cheek against his shoulder. It amazed me that his breathing remained even. I laid my hand over his heart. It beat steadily.

Suddenly, he stopped, and I was on my feet. Trees surrounded us. How did he know where the property ended? I looked up and met his gaze. The focus I found there startled me.

He reached for my hand and lifted it up to his chest. He placed it over his heart once more. Then, he took my other hand and placed it on his skin, as well. He held them in place as he took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

“I never thought such a simple touch could do so much,” he said. He shook his head. “I understand what Gregory means.”

“About what?”

“Every little thing Mary does drives him crazy. All he wants to do is touch her, hold her close. The waiting is testing his resolve.”

His insinuation that he was experiencing the same thing with me made my stomach twist happily. He kept his left hand on my right one, and with his other hand, lightly traced the curve of my jaw.

“You tempt me, Charlene. I want to kiss you every time I see you and lay beside you every night. Claimed or not, I belong to you, and the distance you want is getting harder to maintain.”

His thumb skimmed the edge of my bottom lip and my breath caught.

“Thomas, please. I can’t…” Couldn’t what? Kiss him? I already had. And I really wanted to again. But he wasn’t after a single kiss. He wanted much more. He wanted commitment, a Claim I couldn’t give him. “We don’t know what will happen when the rest of your pack returns.”

Frustration crept into his gaze.

“Right.”

He picked me up again and continued running. I was careful to keep my hands hooked around his neck.

We didn’t run much longer before he slowed to his version of a jog, then finally stopped. He bent as he released my legs, straightening once my feet touched ground. He didn’t release his hold around my shoulders but used it to hug me close to his chest. I tipped my head back, wondering at his mood. But he quickly dropped a kiss on my forehead and released me.

“This is the edge. Winifred posted it when she officially purchased it.” He pointed to a sign that prohibited the hunting of any animal on this land. “Beyond this, there are a few parcels of open land and then protected land. It’s perfectly placed for us to roam. But only here are we truly safe.”

We started walking to the left. Ahead I saw another sign nailed to a tree.

“My mother and father ran on a stretch of land much further north. I grew up with snow three of the four seasons. When they died, Grey and I decided to head south. We’d heard about this place and were curious why an Elder would waste time with it. It lived up to our low expectations. Still we stayed in the area.”

“How long ago was that?”

“Grey was twelve, and I was nine.”

Nine. I was stunned.

“That’s a long time to be on your own.”

“Not on my own. I’ve had Grey.”

“If Grey’s older, why are you the pack’s leader?”

He gave a single, short laugh.

“If you asked Grey that question, he’d tell you he spent enough time leading me that he didn’t want to do it anymore. And maybe some of that is the truth. He’s always watched out for me. I think pushing me to lead the pack was another way of leading me. If that makes sense.”

Not really, but I didn’t say so. For a long while, we walked in silence. Eventually my stomach started to rumble. He grinned at me and took my hand in his.

“There’s a creek ahead.”

I didn’t see what a creek had to do with my growling stomach. When we found it, he dropped to his knees and studied the moving water. Then, his hand darted forward, splashing into the water and immediately retreating. He held up an ugly looking brown thing with beady eyes and two pinchers.

“What is that?”

“Lunch,” he said with a grin. He broke off the tail, put it to his mouth, and sucked. When he pulled it away, the shell was empty. I barely noticed that. I stared at the thrashing top half. He noticed, and his expression changed from amusement to mild shame.

“Sorry,” he said. He quickly tossed the top half into the water. The little creature sunk to the bottom. I watched others like it scurry forward. Soon it was buried under several of its own kind.

Thomas stood, looking uncomfortable.

“You were fine with the fish,” he said.

I understood what he meant. Before, while he’d caught the second fish, the first had flopped around on shore until it stilled. That hadn’t bothered me. I was realistic. I knew I needed to eat. I just couldn’t eat something while its top half was alive to watch.

“It’s fine, Thomas. Just a bit shocking. I’m not that hungry anymore.”

He nodded and led me away from the creek. My stomach continued to growl as we walked, though. He remained silently thoughtful beside me, his eyes on the ground rather than the trees ahead. Then with a sniff, his mood shifted. His gaze searched the bramble around us, and he increased his pace.

A few more feet and we found a small patch of picked over blackberries.

“Better?” he asked.

“Much,” I said with a smile. We worked together to find a few with enough juice left in them to eat. I licked my stained fingers when I couldn’t find any more.

“Here,” Thomas said, holding out a handful of berries.

“It’s all right. You eat them.”

He picked one out of his palm, popped it in his mouth, then extended his hand again. “Your turn.”

My stomach wanted more, so I gave in. When we finished, we returned to walking the property line.

“So what exactly are we doing out here?” I asked.

“Keeping you from loneliness.”

I stopped walking and turned toward him.

“Thomas, I didn’t mean to take you away from your responsibilities.”

“I can do what’s needed from here,” he said and tapped his temple to remind me of his connection to his pack. “I thought you wanted space before. That was the only reason I stayed away.”

I didn’t know what to say to that. First, he’d resented my presence. Then, he’d met me and resented that he wanted to Claim me. Now, he wasn’t even that man. He’d admitted to wanting to kiss me, spent time with me, was very considerate of my feelings, and listened to what I thought. My chest felt uncomfortably tight.

I wanted to escape him for a while to regroup and reconsider all the reasons I needed to avoid him because, at the moment, I couldn’t think of any.

“Maybe we should head back.” As soon as I said it, I realized my mistake. He would have to carry me. There was no escape.

He scooped me up in his arms and settled me next to his chest. Before he started running, he met my gaze.

“Haven’t you figured it out yet? You don’t need to run from me. I’m willing to be whatever you need. Even patient.”

He ran, and I held on.

We stopped by the lake on the way back and picked some vegetables for a stew to go with the four rabbits Thomas said Gregory and Mary had waiting. I was ready to run the rest of the way, but he insisted on carrying me again. All the constant, little brushes of skin here and there caused a long lasting blush.

When we finally entered the yard, I sighed with relief.

“I only meant to keep you company,” Thomas said softly as he set me on my feet.

“You did. I’ll just bring these in,” I said about the carrots, onions, and parsnips held in the bottom of my shirt. I turned and fled inside.

I felt guilty over my agitation. I wasn’t annoyed with him. I was annoyed with myself. I didn’t like being bitten, yet I couldn’t help feeling attracted to Thomas. What kind of mixed signals was I sending him? Plus, Claiming wouldn’t even work on me. What would happen when families started showing up with young girls like me? One was bound to pique Thomas’ interest. And where would I be? Standing in a corner with a broken heart.

I needed to keep myself busy. If Mary couldn’t spend time with me, I needed to seek out Ann. Hopefully, the families would start coming soon.

Something heavy pressed me down into the mattress. It wasn’t a sudden weight that woke me, but one of which I slowly became aware as I struggled to breathe. It pinned my torso and legs. I opened my eyes and blinked, trying to see in the dim light. A familiar ear and dark wavy hair swam into focus. His slow and steady breath warmed my neck.

What did he think he was doing? Sleeping in my room with permission to protect me was one thing, but in my bed—no, not even in my bed but on me—that was something else. I frowned and tried to wiggle free. He didn’t budge, didn’t twitch. His breathing remained uninterrupted.

His chest pinned my left arm but not my right. I grabbed his shoulder and pushed. No reaction.

“Thomas,” I whispered. “Wake up.” His breathing didn’t change in the slightest.

What was his deal? I’d never seen him sleep this hard before. I paused and realized I’d never seen him sleep. The times he was with me, he was always awake before I woke. That just meant he slept less, didn’t it?

I pulled in another breath.

“Thomas,” I said right in his ear. Nothing.

I hesitated calling out for help. Mary and Gregory were in the room right next to us, the room her dad and uncle had used. They would hear. But did I really want them coming in here? Thomas was heavy but not really hurting me. Yet. I didn’t know how much longer I’d be able to stand his weight, though. Since he wasn’t doing more than sleeping, it didn’t feel right using my will either.

“Now what?” I whispered into the dark.

I turned my head slightly. My mouth was right next to his ear. He’d once told me he’d like it if I bit him. I grinned in the dark a moment before I nipped the firm shell of his undamaged ear.

His breathing stopped. He didn’t move. I held my own breath, waiting for his reaction. What I felt pressed against my side was enough to send me into a panic.

“Please tell me you’re awake and in control of yourself,” I said lightly in his ear. The warble in my words gave away my worry.

“Barely.” The one rough word made me shiver.

“Barely awake or barely in control?”

“Both.”

He turned his head, and his lips skimmed my ear. My heart hammered against my squished ribs. My right hand still gripped his shoulder.

“Thomas, I can’t breathe.”

“I have the same problem when I’m this close to you.” His tongue traced my ear.

I wanted him to stop and to keep going. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and pull him closer as much as I wanted to push him away and drag in a deep, cleansing breath.

My need for air won.

“No, Thomas. You’re too heavy. I can’t breathe right.”

His weight immediately lifted, but he didn’t leave me. His tongue continued to explore the outer shell of my ear as his arms braced his weight.

I pulled in a much needed lungful of air, and he shifted his attention to my jaw. Little kisses scorched a path to my chin, then he claimed my lips.

I sighed and gave into the urge to wrap my arms around him. His tongue traced my lips. My skin felt hot and tight, and I didn’t know what to do other than to surrender to the sensations. He tilted his head and nipped at my lower lip. I opened my mouth slightly. He growled and traced my lips with his tongue again before dipping it into my mouth. I trembled and tightened my hold. I touched my tongue to his. He shuddered, and his hips settled onto mine, breaking the spell with another surge of panic.

Turning my head, I gasped and pushed at his shoulders.

“Stop.” It was begging, but I didn’t care.

He groaned and immediately pulled back. He didn’t leave me, just gave me room to breathe once more.

“Please, Thomas. I need you to go.”

“I can’t.” His words tickled my ear.

“You can, but don’t want to. Please,” I said again.

“One more bite,” he said. I wasn’t the only one begging tonight.

“You promised. Never again.”

“Not me. You. Bite me one more time.”

I turned my head to look up at him. In the dark, I couldn’t see much. Just the shadows of his face and the slight glow of his eyes.

“You were starting to hurt me,” I said. “I’m sorry I bit you, but you wouldn’t wake up.”

“I didn’t mean to sleep on you or scare you. I’ll go back to my spot by the door. Just one more bite, Charlene.”

My remaining naivety was precious to me. Life’s hard choices had opened my eyes to much many girls my age didn’t yet have to deal with. I was afraid giving into his request would open my eyes to one of the few remaining mysteries in my life.

“No. I’m not ready for that.”

He growled in frustration and dropped his head to my shoulder.

“Thomas…you should go.”

“I should,” he agreed. “But I can’t get past this feeling…this rejection. When I’m not with you, it feels as if there’s a hole in my chest, and when you’re close enough to touch, my hand tingles until it hurts. I’ve been waiting for you to show any sign you feel a tenth of what I do, but you don’t. Your disregard just makes the hole in my chest grow larger, emptier. I’m lost, drowning on feelings I don’t understand and losing to instincts that don’t work with you. I can’t sleep. I don’t taste what I eat. And every time I breathe in, your scent torments me. Everything I want is right here, yet I have nothing.”

His words stunned me.

“Charlene, please, give me something.”

How could I not after that?

“Do you promise not to take more than I’m willing to give?”

His weight shifted. His hands clasped my arms, and suddenly, he was under me, and I was sitting on his stomach.

“I swear, nothing more than you give.”

His hands fell to my knees, the open palms warming my skin as he looked up at me. My pulse thrummed rapidly as I blinked down at him. My stomach twisted. Could I? Should I?

I laid my hands flat and leaned over him. His heart beat swiftly under my palm. I hesitated.

“I don’t understand why you want me to bite you.”

“I don’t either. It’s not what you think. Well, it is in a way, but it’s more. I feel like we’ll be closer then.”

I couldn’t see how biting brought us any closer than we were. I was sitting on him for Pete’s sake. Regardless, I leaned down, until my chest touched his. His fingers, still resting lightly on my knees, twitched.

He turned his head, exposing his throat. I wanted to kiss the shadowy column, not bite it.

“I can’t, Thomas. I’m sorry,” I quickly slid from him and stood beside the bed.

He lay there for several moments, breathing deeply and staring up at the ceiling. Then he sat up, ran a hand through his hair, stood, and moved to the door. There, he sat, staring at me, the glow of his eyes interrupted by infrequent blinks.

Without a word, I curled back under the covers. I couldn’t guess how long I lay there, but eventually I drifted off to sleep.

When the same weight woke me again, my temper flared. It was still dark out, and I couldn’t see much.

“Thomas, get off me.” I didn’t bother with whispered subtlety.

He didn’t move.

“Thomas, I’m serious. You’re too heavy.” I shoved at him, but he didn’t respond.

“Fine. Have it your way.” I turned my head and bit his neck hard. The coppery tang of blood tickled my tongue as he exhaled loudly.

Knowing I had his attention, I stopped biting.

“I’m certain, I made myself clear before. Out. Of. My. Bed.”

I moved to wipe my mouth on the back of my hand. He lifted his head before I finished and gently kissed my palm.

My anger didn’t fade exactly, yet another emotion blanketed it. Awe, a complete sense of wonder and elation.

I frowned. I wasn’t elated. I was still mad. And he was still on top of me.

“Move, Thomas. Now, or so help me, you won’t like what happens next.”

He chuckled, kissed my forehead, and rolled off me. He didn’t get out of bed but pulled me to his chest, cuddling against me. He kissed my temple.

“Whether you like it or not,” he said, “you’re my world now. Sleep. I promise I won’t wake you again.”

He sighed and relaxed behind me. I lay there stunned. What had just happened? Was his head damaged? I still hadn’t given him permission to sleep in my bed. Despite my angry thoughts, I couldn’t seem to hold onto my agitation. Contentment and something softer continued to defuse my hostile emotions, which just made me angrier.

I drew back and elbowed him. He grunted and quickly caught my arm.

“Sweetheart, why are you so angry?”

Sitting up, I glared down at him.

“Sweetheart? Since when am I your sweetheart? And I’m angry because you’re ignoring me.”

“I am most definitely not ignoring you.”

“Then why are you still in my bed?”

“Because I’m not ignoring you.”

“You are making absolutely no sense.”

“Charlene, what do you feel?”

“Annoyed.”

His eyes glowed brighter for a moment and a tendril of desire washed over me. I was thankful the dark hid my blush.

“What now?”

I stared down at him.

“How did you know…?”

“Because what you felt wasn’t your emotion; it was mine.” He lifted a hand and gently tugged the end of a section of my hair. “Did you know the moonlight is highlighting your already beautifully pale hair? It almost glows to me. It’s softly curling around your face. You’ve never looked prettier. And when you’re angry, your lips and cheeks take on a darker shade of pink. I can’t see anything else but your lips when you’re upset. It’s as if nature’s daring me to kiss you just then. ‘See if you can make her happy again.’ And I want to try now more than ever before. But I won’t.” He wrapped his hands around my face. “Because you were right. You are different. I won’t forget again.”

He was talking in circles, and I had no idea what to make of it.

“What are you talking about?” I said.

“I couldn’t Claim you, because you had to Claim me.”

My annoyance disappeared in a poof.

“Past tense? ‘You had to Claim me.’ Why are you talking like I’ve already—” Panic set in. “No.” I pulled away from his touch. He remained on his back, watching me.

“Winifred extends her congratulations.”

“I don’t want her congratulations or her cookies.” There wasn’t any anger behind the words, just panic. I’d just attached myself to these people. Part of me was happy. Though it wasn’t my plan, and I truly wasn’t ready for the relationship these werewolves had described, Claiming Thomas did secure my place here. Plus, Thomas was amazing. I scowled, realizing his contentment and happiness was influencing my thoughts.

What if Winifred found out about what I could do? She wouldn’t if I stopped using my ability. Claimed, I should have a certain level of protection—I hoped.

I recalled Mary’s words about Claiming and what usually comes next. I swallowed hard.

“Will you still keep your promise?” I asked.

“Which promise is that?”

“You won’t take more than I’m ready to give?”

“I swear.”

Unless I knew how to undo a Claim—information I doubted Thomas would share—I was stuck here. I considered him for a moment. Was this such a bad place to be? I sighed heavily then curled against his side and laid my head on his shoulder.

“What will your pack say?” I asked as he wrapped an arm around me.

“Should I tell them now and see?”

“No,” I said quickly. “I think we can still use the reprieve of their absence.”

He kissed my temple again.

“No more talking. You need sleep.”

I kept quiet and listened to his breathing slow. He seemed to need the sleep more than I did. As I lay there in the dark, my thoughts circled around several facts. Thomas had taken my request to learn about me, about being human, seriously. He’d never wavered from his conviction that I was the right one for him. And he freely admitted just how much he cared about me. If I were honest with myself, I cared about him, too.

I’d initially decided to stay here because I felt they could keep a secret about what I could do. Though I’d continued to believe they could keep secrets, I hadn’t been willing to part with mine. Claiming Thomas changed things. I didn’t want to build a relationship with him on misconceptions or lies. Yet, I wasn’t sure if I could trust Thomas with the truth.

There was a woven basket on the table when we entered the main room the next morning. The room was otherwise empty. Curious, I stepped up to the table, peered into the basket, and saw Ann’s sleeping daughter.

“Where are Ann and Leif?” I asked, turning to look at Thomas.

The washroom door opened, and Leif stepped out. His hair was damp, and he held a towel.

“We are here,” he said, moving close to check his daughter.

“The basket is wonderful. Who made it?”

“I did.” He gently touched the babe’s cheek.

“Leif, that’s totally amazing. Could you show me how to make one?”

He glanced up from the baby and nodded.

“I would be happy to. I’m not sure what you’d use it for, but you should know the cattail leaves will shrink as they dry, and the basket will grow holes. Typically the leaves should be dried before they are used.”

A slow grin spread as I stared at Leif. We’d just found our winter occupation.

“I’ve never felt that much excitement before. What are you thinking?” Thomas asked.

Leif tilted his head at me and sniffed.

“Claimed?”

I blushed and focused on the baby.

“Yes,” Thomas said. “Last night.”

The urge to hide myself somewhere grew stronger as they continued to speak of the event as if it wasn’t private. Thomas stepped close to me and laid a comforting hand on my back.

“Ann thought she heard you two arguing,” Leif said with a laugh.

The main door flew open, and Mary rushed in.

“What? Claimed?” She threw her arms around me and hugged me tight, squealing. “I’m so happy for you.” The baby started to squall, and Mary pulled away from me. “I’m so sorry, Leif.”

“I understand your enthusiasm. Ann feels it, too. She will be out in a moment to share her congratulations,” Leif said, lifting his daughter from the basket.

Mary continued to grin at me, but the grin faded as she eyed my neck.

“Where’s the bite?”

“She bit me, Mary,” Thomas said, his thumb rubbing a soothing circle on my lower back.

Mary’s eyes rounded, and a snort escaped her. She bit her bottom lip to keep from laughing outright. Gregory walked into the room, eyed Mary, and came to stand behind her. I didn’t fail to notice he positioned himself just as Thomas had with me.

“Congratulations,” he said, meeting my eyes.

“Thank you,” I said quietly. The heat refused to leave my face. “Mary, let’s make breakfast.”

I walked away from everyone and immediately missed Thomas’ touch. A gentle wave of reassurance washed over me. Feeling these emotions that weren’t my own was disorienting and scary. What was he feeling from me? He already knew when I lied and that I kept secrets. Would he feel when I used my ability? Would he know, then?

Would he tell Winifred? And would Winifred then see me as a threat as she’d hinted?