(Un)bidden

“Congratulations,” I said.

Thomas’ arms suddenly wrapped around me, pulling me back against his chest.

“Liar,” he said softly near my ear. My skin prickled.

Mary didn’t lose her happy smile.

“Don’t worry, Charlene. I’m not leaving. Thomas is staying, so we’re staying.”

I nodded, shrugged out of Thomas’ embrace, and went to sit at the table with my cold oatmeal. Physically, I knew she wasn’t leaving, but I’d watched those two together enough to anticipate what would happen. She would be spending a lot more time with Gregory. I didn’t begrudge her that time; it just meant I’d be spending a lot more time alone.

“I was wondering if one of you could talk to Winifred for me. I’d like to know if she’d be willing to extend an invitation to families who might like to stay here. Maybe we’ll find a few Elder candidates that way or get a second pack in here that agrees with what we’re doing.”

“Packs typically don’t share territory,” Thomas said, coming to sit beside me.

“Oh.” When I’d had the thought that we needed to make this place a happy home, I’d counted on the support from other families and packs, a united front against those in Thomas’ pack who didn’t want me here. Had I really doomed his pack?

“Aren’t Leif and Ann their own pack?”

“They are. Small packs of two to three generally don’t hold a territory. It’s too dangerous in such a small group, not from our own kind, but humans.”

What he said made sense.

“Where is Ann?” I said, realizing we hadn’t yet seen her or Leif.

“She had her cub last night and is sleeping.”

“What? Why didn’t you tell me?” I really wanted to see it. Would it be a baby or an actual puppy? Did it matter? Both were adorable, and I couldn’t wait to see.

Mary shrugged. “I didn’t think you’d be interested. She is really cute, though.”

“She?” Thomas said.

Mary nodded.

“They’re both excited. Winifred is, too. She said it might bring more families with young boys.”

I ate the last bite of my oatmeal and took the bowl to the sink.

“Thomas, can you call the rest in to eat? I’d hate to waste Gregory’s cooking,” I said.

Mary giggled, and Gregory leaned over to kiss her.

Over the course of the next several days, I caught Gregory and Mary kissing often, spent time with the new baby, and slept alone in my room despite Thomas’ protests.

The pack members who’d remained behind worked on window covers and wood splitting during the day. And they joined us for each meal. We seemed to have developed a pattern, a boring one. I knew it was ridiculous to feel bored—bored was better than bitten—but after the excitement of the last few weeks, the quiet was unnatural.

Friday morning I woke feeling grumpy and not alone.

Thomas lay on his side next to me, watching me as I opened my eyes.

“I warned you,” I said a moment before I pushed him off the bed with my hands.

He hit the floor with a thud but immediately sat up and scowled at me.

“I didn’t sleep in your room. I came to wake you up.”

“You were in my bed without permission,” I said, getting out of bed.

He studied me while I straightened the sheets and blanket.

“You’re unusually upset. Didn’t you sleep well?”

“I slept fine,” I said, turning to look at the clean clothes in my dresser. I’d done laundry yesterday. The men had finished the windows and planned a junkyard run again today to see if they could find anything they could repair and send with Winifred to sell. I had absolutely nothing to do. Not only that, but as I’d anticipated, I saw very little of Mary. Thomas checked in on me often but mostly stayed outside doing whatever he did. I was lonely.

“Thomas,” I turned toward him, “I’m…bored.”

“You just lied.”

With a sigh, I sat on the bed.

“I’m lonely.”

He sat next to me, his arm barely touching mine, and looked down at his hands.

“Do you miss your family?”

“I try not to think about them,” I said. Yet even saying that brought forth the image of my parents. “But when I do, I miss them so much it hurts.”

“Will you go back to them?”

“No. Never. I love them too much.”

“I’ve been trying to figure out why you stay. You have family out there and miss them. Here, you’ve been attacked repeatedly, are resented by many, protected by few…why stay?”

He turned and looked at me, his focused gaze unnerving me. I kept my mouth shut.

“I think you’re hiding here because of what you can do,” he said after several moments of silence.

My heart felt as if it were trying to escape out of my throat.

He nudged me a little.

“None of that. No one is going to make you leave because you’re different. In fact, that’s a strong reason to let you stay. You’re not just human. You’re more. Don’t be afraid to show that you can move things with your mind.”

Is that what he thought I’d done? My stomach chose that moment to growl.

He cleared his throat and stood.

“I have a surprise for you. But it means spending the morning with me. I’ll feed you first,” he said.

I followed him downstairs and excused myself for a moment alone with the washbowl and bucket. When I rejoined him, he had two bowls on the table, and I was surprised to see a carton of milk there, too.

“Milk?”

“It is. Did you know after we are weaned, we typically don’t drink milk again? It’s not necessary. We seem to get what we need from the animals we eat. Winifred believes it’s because in our other form, we tend to eat it all.”

Not a pleasant topic before breakfast. He motioned for me to sit.

“So I was a bit surprised to learn humans drink milk their entire lives. And tend to eat more vegetables than meat,” he said.

I looked down at my bowl and saw a familiar and well-missed sight. Flakes with a touch of sugary coating.

“Cereal?” I asked in disbelief. He nodded and handed me the milk. I poured too quickly in my excitement and spilled a bit on the table. I didn’t stop to wipe it up. Instead, I grabbed my spoon and took a large bite. The milk was tepid but it didn’t take away from the delicious taste.

“Mmm.” It was the only sound I made for the next minute. With an amused gleam in his eyes, Thomas sat across from me, watching as I devoured the cereal.

Even while drifting from town to town, I hadn’t managed such a simple treat. It had been too long. I slowed down to savor the last half, unsure how long it would be until I could have more.

“Aren’t you going to eat?” I asked when I noticed his bowl remained untouched.

He reached for the milk and neatly poured a measure into his bowl. I watched him closely as he took his first bite. His brow drew down, and his mouth puckered in distaste.

“You don’t like it?” I couldn’t believe he’d prefer whole rabbit over sugared flakes.

He finished chewing and swallowed.

“It’s different.”

I grinned at him, took another bite of my cereal, and tried to figure out a comparison to the taste before I swallowed.

“Haven’t you ever had honey? You’ve had to come across honey bees out there.”

“We’re wolves, not bears.”

My startled laugh almost lost me the bite of cereal in my mouth. I quickly finished chewing. “If you don’t want to finish it, I will. Where did it come from? Is there more?”

He pushed his bowl toward me.

“I have made a few trips to the junkyard, collecting those coins from the seats of old cars. When I had enough, I went into town.”

“Like that?” I eyed his bare chest.

He shook his head.

“Winifred warned me that I’d need a shirt and shoes. Why would anyone want to wear those on their feet?”

“Shoes protect our feet. Humans aren’t as sturdy as you are.”

“I’m learning,” he said.

“You are,” I agreed. He was learning what it meant to be human, and I knew it was because he hadn’t given up hope of Claiming me. It warmed me to know that he’d taken what I’d said seriously.

He waited patiently as I finished both bowls of cereal and while I washed them. Then, he brought me outside.

“There’s a lot of ground to cover. May I carry you?”

The idea of Thomas carrying me in his arms made my insides go hot and cold in alternating flashes. I nodded. He stepped close, crowding me, and then bent and picked me up with ease. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders. He looked down at me, our faces not far apart.

“Hold on,” he said. And then he ran.

Wind whipped my face and stung my eyes. I didn’t turn away from it, though. I let go with my left hand, trusting him to keep me steady, and pushed the hair from my eyes. Then, I watched it all.

He wove between the trees with ease, lightly leaping over shrubs and bramble. Animals quieted at his approach and scurried from his path when he neared. I’d never felt so alive than those moments in his arms, beaten by the wind.

He ran like that for at least ten minutes. When the trees started to thin, he wasn’t even winded. He slowed to a walk as he stepped out into sunlight. The trees before us had died with the expansion of the marsh and stood like large, dark sticks poked into the ground. Birds flew overhead.

He’d wanted to show me the marsh?

He gently set me on my feet as I continued to look around.

“This way,” he said, taking my hand.

We skirted the edge of the marsh, the spongy ground giving just slightly with each step. As we walked, making our way east, the weeds and reeds thinned and larger pools became visible. The trees to our right suddenly disappeared into a large clearing. At first, I thought it an extension of the marsh. Then, I noticed the tall grass instead of reeds.

“Anton found this while trying to catch pheasants. He was watching what they ate and checking if there was a food source we could gather and store for the winter…if we manage to cage any of them.”

The reminder of our attempts made me cringe, and I felt guilty that I hadn’t offered to help Anton again.

“We think this might be an old garden from the people who used to live here.”

Excited, I parted the grass as I walked forward. The grass outlined a very large and very weed filled garden. Onions grew in a thick patch. Wild, their green tops were much larger than their bulbs. I found carrots growing in random areas toward the trees, away from the damp soil near the marsh. There were some chewed on melons, a few small green striped pumpkins, stalks of multi-colored corn, vine beans, and many varieties of squash.

“This is amazing,” I said. I wanted to start picking things. Thomas seemed to read my mind.

“Before you pick anything, I want to show you one more thing. It’s not useful like this. Just pretty.”

That he’d described something as pretty piqued my interest.

We walked further east, away from the garden and back into the trees. The cool damp air of the woods seemed to grow even cooler with each step. In the break of branches, I caught a bright flash of light. Moments later, I stepped out of the trees onto the lapping shoreline of a lake. My shoes made divots in the sand as I walked to the water. I could see the sandy bottom several feet out.

It was clean, untouched by man, and beautiful. It stretched far enough that the trees on the opposite shore appeared tiny, less than a half an inch if I held up my fingers to measure. I kicked off my shoes and rolled up my pant legs.

“It’ll be cold,” Thomas said, and it was.

While I stood in the water, fish swam close. Small little things that made me smile. The large one that darted after the little ones made my eyes round.

“Thomas,” I said in a quiet voice. The big fish stopped moving, turned, and seemed to be contemplating my toes.

I heard the water ripple behind me then a low chuckle. “It’s just a fish.”

“Do you eat fish?” I asked. The better question would have been if he was fast enough to defend my toes.

“Do you?” he asked.

“Not lately.”

He dove forward. It wasn’t a pretty, neat dive; it was a huge, clothes-soaking splash. Then, he seemed to beat the surface. I could barely see him with the amount of water flying in the air. Suddenly, it stopped.

He stood before me with the fingers of one hand hooked in the gills and the other hand holding the tail of the fish. It was more than shoulder width on Thomas. He looked very proud of himself.

We stared at each other for several heartbeats. I held myself still with my arms slightly out from my sides. I was soaked. Water dripped from my chin and ran into my eyes.

He burst out laughing.

Three large fish, onions, carrots, and rice baked in the oven while Thomas and I worked together to heat bathwater. We stunk like fish. He’d carried me home, and I had to carry the fish and onions.

In the silence, it struck me that since waking I hadn’t seen anyone else.

“Where is everyone?”

“I sent everyone out. Mary and Gregory are in town, trying to determine what jobs are available and what skills are required. The rest are at the junkyard. They wanted a break from cutting wood, and the man running the place was willing to pay them to break down some of the metal for recycling. They’ll earn more than if they would have taken the metal.”

“I’m impressed.”

“I can’t claim responsibility for any of those ideas. Winifred has been promoting jobs since you suggested it.”

“And they all went along with it?”

“Mostly. There were a few grumbles at first, but they seem to be enjoying it now.”

He carried one of the steaming pots to the tub, dumped it, then came back to refill it. I caught myself staring at the muscles in his back and arms as he worked the pump, and I quickly looked away. My face was warm, my mouth a little dry, and my pulse too fast.

“I’m going to run and get some clean clothes,” I said, moving toward the main door.

“Hold on. I’ll go too.”

I stopped by the door. “There’s no need.”

“I need to grab some clothes.” He started walking toward me. I swallowed hard, staring once again at his naked chest.

What was wrong with me? He’d carried me like that, and I hadn’t had so much of an issue at the time. Granted I’d been too stunned by the experience of him running to notice him. And on the way back, I’d been carrying dead fish. There was nothing remotely romantic about dead fish.

“I can grab them for you,” I said, meeting his gaze.

He tilted his head and studied me.

“My kind tends to attack you when you’re alone. I’d rather not leave you.”

“Okay.” I turned and started to walk before my heating cheeks could give me away.

“Charlene, is something bothering you?”

“Yes, but I don’t want to talk about it.”

He chuckled.

“Honesty. It’s refreshing.”

“Not really. You’re just more of a pain when I lie.”

He laughed and waited in the hall as I grabbed clothes from my room. When he went to his room, he left the door open. It was the first time I looked inside. There was nothing within except another pair of pants on the floor.

I stepped in further, looking around.

“It’s so…empty. Someday, it won’t be like this,” I said, imagining what his people could do if they worked together.

“What do you see in your someday?” he asked, coming close.

I stared into the room, no longer really seeing it.

“This building and the other buildings will be brimming with life, an ever changing community of families. Most will stay to raise their young in the protection of a safer environment. These rooms will be their homes within our home. And I see happiness. A lot of laughter and friendship. No more dying race or hiding in the woods.”

“I like what you see. And someday, I know you’ll help make it all happen.”

“How do you know?”

“Because, without you, no one has a reason to stay.”

He reached up and gently brushed his hand across my cheek.

I wrinkled my nose.

“We need our baths.”

He smiled and dropped his hand. I left the room and started down the stairs, listening to him follow.

“You know,” he said, “we wouldn’t need to heat as much water if we shared.”

“That’s not going to happen,” I said over my shoulder.

He chuckled.

The fish finished cooking before I was done with my bath. Thomas had insisted I go first since I wouldn’t share. By the time I opened the door, Mary and Gregory had returned and were sitting with Ann and Leif at the table.

“Ann, I’d be happy to hold the baby while you eat,” I quickly offered.

“Oh, thank you, Charlene.” Ann stood and gently placed the sleeping girl in my arms. “She is so sweet, but it’s nice to sit and eat.”

“I’ve been wondering. If the babies are born as babies, how does that work in the woods? How do wolves carry babies?”

“We try to give them a week before we force the change. During that week, we typically don’t leave our birthing den. It’s safer that way,” Ann said.

“Force the change? You mean they can change into a wolf already?”

She nodded.

“A small, fluffy, blind cub. Adorable. But it’s painful for them and scary. Some don’t live through the process. While I was still pregnant, I asked Winifred about it. I know she has no cubs, but as an Elder I thought she might have an answer.”

“Answer to what?”

“If the forced change was the reason we have such a low population and even fewer females. Is it really that less are born or that less survive? She didn’t know. But, she’s let many of the expecting mothers know about this place. We’re hoping to stay until the rest of the pack returns, before we try to force the change.”

“How do you force the change?”

“Our wolf form is our defensive form. We naturally shift when startled badly enough.”

“So you’re going to scare her?” I looked down at the babe, her mouth puckered so her glistening bottom lip stuck out. Scaring this baby—any baby—just seemed wrong. “I hope you can stay longer than a month.” But I knew that would depend on the mood of the pack members Thomas had sent away.

I walked the baby until Ann finished eating then took my own place. The men from the junkyard came in. Their hair was damp but their clothes were dry and dirty.

“If you want to change, I’ll wash those clothes for you tomorrow,” I said as they all moved to the stove.

“Thank you. We appreciate it. And dinner,” Anton said. He seemed to speak for the group as the rest gave some measure of agreement.

Thomas stepped out of the bathroom, toweling his hair.

“What did you learn in town?”

Though he looked at Gregory, Mary answered.

“There are a few jobs that might work. A plumber is looking for an apprentice. It would require someone to move into town, though.”

Thomas sat beside me as Mary spoke.

“The man has his own business and takes calls any time of night. He has a room in the back of his garage he’d rent out. He’d be willing to deduct from someone’s wages to cover it.”

“I’ll go,” Bine said as he sat at the table.

“We looked at the room,” Mary said. “It has a cot in it and nothing else. No electricity or stove for when the weather gets cold.”

“I’ll manage,” Bine said.

Thomas nodded.

“Anything else?”

“Nothing we thought any one would be interested in. The library needs some part time help as does the grocery store for stacking shelves at night. The store might be too tempting.”

I agreed with Mary. Thomas seemed to as well because he didn’t push either of those options.

“Bine, your wages first need to house you, feed you, and clothe you. Anything you can spare should return to the pack so we may do the same for all the members,” Thomas said. Bine dipped his head in agreement. “And when you need to run, come here.”

With Bine’s contribution and the wages from those working short-term at the yard, we might be able to build up a surplus of supplies. I finished my fish, brought my plate to the sink, and opened the supply cabinet. I inventoried everything with a frown. We’d gone through more than half of what Winifred had brought with her, and that was without the full pack here. We needed to plan ahead for meals, portions, and supplies needed. Having the lake and the old garden would help supplement us but as the pack grew, we would need more.

“Charlene?” Thomas asked from just behind me, making me jump. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong. I’m only thinking of supplies and lists and what we’ll need over the next few months.” There were only a few handfuls of oats left for breakfast. I wondered if Thomas had more cereal hidden somewhere. “How much did Winifred get for the metal?”

“She was able to buy larger bags of oats, rice, beans, peas, pasta, flour, and sugar. She also has some spices, a tub of lard, yeast, books, more clothes, blankets, oil lamps, and chocolate chips.”

“Chocolate chips?” I asked, glancing away from the supplies.

“She wants to bake the cookies here with you.”

I wondered what bribe the cookies were for. I guessed I’d find out soon enough.

“When is she arriving?” I asked.

“She is just leaving now and doesn’t expect to be here for several hours. She suggests you go to sleep as usual, and she’ll see you in the morning.”

I nodded and moved back to the sink. Thomas brought over some of the warm water from the stove and filled the tin pot in the trough so I could wash the dishes. Then, he moved to help dry them. Together, we worked through the dishes everyone brought to us. When we finished, I turned and found the room cleaned and empty.

Thomas’ hands closed over my shoulders, and his thumbs gently rubbed the muscles that I hadn’t thought sore a moment ago.

“Did you enjoy today?” he asked, hesitantly.

I glanced back at him. He wasn’t the hesitating type. His gaze searched mine.

“I did. Why are you asking?”

“I don’t want you to be lonely here, Charlene. If you’re feeling that way again, tell me. Please.”

I nodded. His hands dropped to his sides, and after a moment, he went outside.

Winifred had brought eggs. Dozens of eggs. And sausage links. The smell of them as they sizzled in one of the pots made my stomach cramp. I hovered near the stove, using a fork to turn them. A few times, I had to yank my hand back as grease popped and spattered.

“Please,” Thomas said again, watching me wince. “Let me.”

“No, it’s okay.” I didn’t want to surrender the fork. As soon as I found one cooked through, it was going to be mine.

He plucked the fork from my hand. “Mary, pump some cold water for her, please.” He pushed me toward the sink.

“Bully,” I mumbled as I dragged my feet toward the pump.

Mary grinned and shook her head. When I got close enough, she started pumping. I stuck my right hand into the cold water. There were four red dots on the back and one large one on the knuckle. I let her pump until my hand grew numb. Mary didn’t seem to grow tired or mind.

“It’s done,” Thomas said.

I turned and found the men lined up behind him. They all had plates. Thomas had a plate, too, already piled with eggs and sausage. He moved to the table and set the plate down as I tried to hide my disappointment and guilt. I wasn’t the only one starved for something more than oatmeal, which was what I’d served for breakfast the past week.

I’d almost passed the table to stand at the back of the line when Thomas snagged my hand. He tugged me to the bench beside him and offered me a fork. I smiled as I understood he meant to share and quickly sat. The first bite of sausage made me want to groan. As I chewed, savoring the salty meat, the men sat at the tables near the main door. They dug in with enthusiasm. As usual, Thomas had yet to take a bite. He sat beside me and watched me.

I finished my sausage and quickly skewered a second. That one I waved in front of his face.

“If you don’t start eating, there won’t be anything left.” It was a bluff. Though my eyes wanted me to eat everything on the plate, my stomach would eventually rebel if I tried.

He smiled and chomped the sausage right off the fork before I could yank it out of the way. I blinked at my empty tines. Maybe I was the one who needed to eat faster.

He picked up his fork and started to eat. He ate slow, sticking to his side of the plate while I vacuumed the food in until my stomach ached. I set down my fork with a groan. I’d eaten a bit more than my share. He pulled the plate in front of him and finished the rest in a few moments.

Then, he did something that made me stare. He licked my fork. I sat there stupidly as he stood and carried the dishes to the sink. I was glad for the space. The rest of the men stood and followed Thomas’ example. Then, they all made for the door, leaving Winifred, Mary, Ann, and me.

Winifred had collected Ann’s new daughter as soon as she’d arrived. The two women were still speaking quietly. Mary and I went to the pump and began washing dishes.

While I dried, I kept looking at the bags of supplies. There were so many. I couldn’t wait to dig into them even though I already knew what they contained.

We had just finished with the dishes when Winifred said, “Mary, Gregory is waiting for you outside.”

Ann left the room with her daughter, and I watched Mary nod and walk to the door. Winifred closed the door behind her.

“Ready to bake?”

“We can bake,” I said. “But I’d feel more comfortable doing it if you would tell me why another bribe is needed.”

Winifred sighed.

“It’s not a bribe, dear. But I did intend it to be a relaxing activity while we discussed what happened after I left.”

I cringed remembering the fight, my insistence to watch, and my general interference.

“I’m sorry,” I said sincerely.

“For what?”

“For interfering. But if I’m going to live here, shouldn’t I act like I’m part of your community, too? If I don’t, I can’t see ever being accepted.”

Winifred came close and gave me a brief hug.

“You did well interfering. I’m proud of how you handled yourself and the situation. I think sending the malcontent away was the best move given the circumstance.” She stepped away, picked up a bag, and set it on top of the cleared table.

“However,” she said, “there is something else I’d like to understand.”

She began to unpack, and with trepidation, I moved to help.

“That was the second time you knocked a few men back without lifting a finger. How is that possible?”

It felt as if my heart stopped and dropped into my stomach like a rock. I didn’t let panic control me, though. After a calming breath, I answered.

“How is it possible that werewolves exist, or that you can control them with a thought or command? Some things are just possible. The reasons behind the possibilities aren’t for us to understand or explain; we’re just meant to accept them.” I continued to unpack bags as I spoke. “I’ve accepted that I’m different and can do things others can’t. Now that you know what I can do, can you accept me?”

Winifred turned from placing the large bag of rice in the cabinet and studied me.

“I accept you for what you are, and hope that you will explain what, exactly, it is you can do.”

With the terrible moment of truth before me, I slowly sank to a chair. Did she, like Thomas, think I only moved things with my mind? Once I told her the truth, would she then want me to leave? I folded my hands together and met Winifred’s gaze.

“I ran from my home, from everything I knew and loved, because I understood my secret, my ability, would change how everyone saw me. My secret is just as dangerous as yours and can never be shared.”

She sat in the chair across from me and nodded. I took another steadying breath and tried to ignore the feeling that I needed to keep my ability to myself.

“I can control people. With a thought, my will becomes their will. I’ve never ill-used my ability. Since the day I was born, I’ve known it’s meant to help and protect; others before myself.

“I can’t control your kind. Not like I could mine. I think I understand how you control the pack, though. You implant your thought in them. It’s essentially how my ability works with humans; I hold a person’s will and let my will flow into them. But with your kind, I couldn’t hold your wills long enough to influence anyone. But when that man attacked me in my bedroom, I…” I shrugged and shook my head. It felt so wrong talking about what I could do. I’d kept this secret for too long.

“You found a way?” Winifred said. Worry flooded her gaze.

“Not exactly. I couldn’t control him, but I knew what I wanted. I wanted him off. In my desperation, it was like my desire to have him off me hardened into something physical. I hit him with it, and he flew off me. That’s when you came in.”

She nodded.

“And those times in the yard?”

Guiltily, I looked at my hands. In the yard, I did more than just beat back men. I controlled them. But something cautioned me against revealing that detail, a detail of which she was hopefully unaware.

“Every time I moved one of them, it was the same thing,” I said, carefully wording my answer to avoid a lie.

She exhaled and considered me for a moment.

“As an Elder, I need to do what is best for the whole of our race. It relieves me that you can’t control us. That would represent a dangerous potential. Yet, as a human, you are at a disadvantage here, and hearing you have the ability to defend yourself is a relief. Mates are important. Without them, we have no future. As a potential Mate, you are important to our kind. Yes, your ability is unique, but I see no reason it should concern us.” She patted my hand and stood. “Now, let’s finish this up and make some cookies.”

I returned her smile with a weak one of my own and moved to help. She accepted me because she sensed little threat in me. What would she do if she knew the truth, that I could control them, too?