Chapter 015
A groan left her mouth as the feeling of her stomach starting to eat itself became too much for her to ignore anymore. Begrudgingly, Liv opened her eyes and was greeted with the afternoon sunrays that peeked through the canopy. A sigh left her as she rubbed her eyes and pushed herself up in a sitting position. Making her hiss a little at the worn-out feeling below, telling her that everything that happened hadn’t been a dream. She was an idiot, that was one thing that’s for sure, but she couldn’t deny the relief she felt from not having the urge racing through her body for once. At what cost though?
Yes, she was drawn to him and everything that he had threatened her with the night of the feast had already started happening before he said it, but that doesn’t mean that she wouldn’t do the walk of shame right now if she was in the human world. She hated him, she wanted to kill him and at the same time she wanted him to fuck her like that until she couldn’t go on anymore. Even with the urge gone right now, she still wanted a repeat of what happened and she didn’t know why. The guy wasn’t her mate, she would have known by now if he was, so why are they so affected by each other?
A violent growl of her stomach pulled her out of her thoughts.
The aching in her muscles had resided a bit more than before. That was something else she was truly grateful for. At least now she could move like she was still a person and not a fucking mess.
Whipping her hair on her back, she looked at the campfire, where Caden sat, his eyes on her. She didn’t say anything as she got up from the ground and walked to the fire on weak, but steady legs. His eyes didn’t leave her as she got closer and sat down at the other side of the fire, looking longingly at the venison that had replaced the rabbits.
“What happened to the rabbits?” She asked as she folded her legs underneath her and met his gaze. “Burned, so we’re having deer now.”
“Why not just eat the deer in your wolf skin and save yourself the trouble of skinning and roasting the thing?” She asked as she picked up a twig and played with it in her hands. The smell coming from the venison was almost her undoing and her stomach growled again. “Because this tastes better and because you need to eat as well.” She just wanted to say that he could just have brought whatever was left to her for her to eat, but stopped herself the moment she realized what it meant for wolves to share a kill. It was a habit only shared by wolves that are true mates or have chosen to mate. It’s intimate and not something to take lightly. To even suggest it, means making the attraction to that wolf known. It was frightening how easily she wanted to bring it up as she, for sure as hell, didn’t want to mate with him.
“Thanks.” She said as she met his gaze again. He gave her a small nod before picking up one of the cups and reaching it out for her to take. She reached out to take it, before she noticed her soil-stained hands. The flashback of him fucking her so hard that she needed to claw into the ground came to the surface almost instantly. She swallowed, before she pushed the feeling away and got up. She walked over to the stream and sat down on her knees to clean her hands.
“Having regrets again?”
“Always when it comes to you.” It wasn’t a lie. She did regret what happened with him, but it didn’t erase the fact that she actually wanted to do it again, even though she would regret that as well.
“At least you didn’t say ‘you’re welcome’ again.” A snort came from him.
“And you haven’t started swearing that it will never happen again as usual. So, it seems like we’re both making progress.” Oh, she wanted to, she wanted to swear it, but even she knew that she was only kidding herself by now.
“Asshole.” She mumbled as she removed the soil from her hands.
“Yes, that was also some progress we made.” Before she could think rationally about it, she grabbed a rock from the stream, turned and lifted her arm, before her wrist was grabbed, stopping her action. “Back to attacking me, I see.”
“Back to wanting to kill you, actively.” She corrected as she knew that murder was clear in her eyes. A snort left him as he tightened his grip on her wrist making her hiss as she dropped the rock.
“If we are going to work together, you need to put your need to kill me aside for now.” She pulled her arm free with a swift tug. “I have been putting it aside for a while now so don’t worry about that.” That fucking crooked smile appeared again.
What the fuck were they doing? It was like they could only bicker and rile each other up or giving in to each other and end up fucking. There was no in between. But that wasn’t true. There had been an in between back at King’s pack. When they talked about being alone, when he carried her away from the battle after King died and even here, when he told her about her grandmother. If they were going to work together, they needed to have that in between.
“You have more personalities than one.” The crooked smile on his face disappeared as he scrunched his eyebrows at her. “At least you act like you do. You say that I don’t truly know you, but what I do know is that I have seen glimpses of the true you. You hide yourself from everyone behind the mask of the villain, why?”
He sighed loudly through his nose, before he crossed his arms over his chest.
“For the same reason why you have been hurt more times than you wanted to, because when they know the real you, they will do everything in their power to hurt you and use it against you.” She hadn’t expected an honest answer from him, but she was glad that she actually got it. And she wasn’t going to let this honesty go just yet.
“Your father had been hurt because they knew who he was and who he loved.” He gave her a small nod, but didn’t say anything. Yet, she knew that he had just given an answer she had been wondering about for a long time. He’s not letting anyone know him because he doesn’t want a repeat of what happened with his dad.
“But I don’t hide behind the mask you believe. I am a villain, I’ve done more than enough things that would earn me an eternity in hel, and I don’t regret any of it.”
“Even drugging and abducting me?” A muscle ticked in his jaw as he held her eyes. “Even that.” A stab went through her chest, but she didn’t show it. Instead, she hardened her gaze towards him so he wouldn’t read her. “Why?”
“Because I needed to get you here and I would have done anything to make that happen.” She clenched her jaw as she swallowed, but she didn’t look away from him. He was being honest. Everything inside of her was telling her that and that was the only thing that kept her from lashing out at him. She hated that he didn’t regret what he did to her, and she wouldn’t forgive him for it. Yet, she could respect his honesty. If they were truly going to work together, they needed that and not the bickering and taunting between them. She straightened herself a bit as she lifted her chin.
“Why do I need to watch my back?” Asking the question that had been on her mind ever since he had warned her that morning on the porch, caused her body to tense, but she was ready for the answer. It was the true test to see if he was truthful about his intentions to work with her. Caden also lifted his chin. “Because Rafe is out for your head and most of all your power.” Her lips parted a little in shock as she scrunched her eyebrows a little. “The only reason why he wanted to get you here alive was because of the fact that you’re a Moonblood. If that hadn’t been the case, he would have compelled me and Ben to end you along with King.” Closing her mouth, Liv clenched her fists before she crossed her arms over her chest as well and walked past him back to the campfire. It wasn’t a surprise that Rafe truly couldn’t be trusted. This only meant that her feelings were correct about him. She wasn’t even hurt about it. He may be her uncle, but she didn’t know him. He could be her long lost brother and, even then, she wouldn’t have cared.
“He would have compelled you?” She asked with a steady voice as she turned back towards him. Caden turned towards her as well. “How would he be able to do that?”
“Even though he is only half Royal, he still has the blood of one of the sisters inside of him. He has the power to compel all those of the Ulfhednar bloodline to do his will, if they would refuse, they would die. There is no way to resist the Royal Compulsion.”
“I have it too?” Caden gave her a small nod. “You do, you just need to learn how to access and use it.” Well, that was something to figure out in the near future.
“So, if Rafe would have compelled you to kill me, you would have no choice but to do so?” Another nod.
Nice to know that her own uncle could compel an entire race to hunt her down and kill her. This Royal Compulsion thing was something that she was going to need to learn fast.
“And he compelled you to kill King?”
“Not me, I wanted to kill the fucker because of my own reasons.” Reasons he told her back at the pack. “He did compel Ben to help me kill him.” She took a step towards him, her interests spiked. “Why?”
“Because Ezekiel King wasn’t just another Lycanthrope Alpha. He was one of Lycaon’s sons.” Her mouth fell open as her eyes went wide. “What? N-no. That can’t be true. He- He-”
“His real name was Eumetes. He had a fallout with his father a long, long time ago and decided to make his own empire. Why do you think he was so skilled at getting Alphas to follow him or make them follow him? He was a Lycan, that’s why he was so strong. That’s why no one could ever mortally wound him, and why you couldn’t use your power on him, unless you fell into the Moonrage. Lycan’s can use a fraction of magica and that’s what he used to make himself look like a normal Lycanthrope. No one suspected him that way.” Her mind was literally blown, but at the same time everything made so much sense now. King had always been too powerful and now she knew why. He was a fucking Lycan! One she helped to kill.
Liv ran her hands over her face as she tried to calm her racing mind. Caden kept quiet as he gave her the time she needed.
“Okay.” She said after a while before meeting his gaze again. “But Lycaon knew about me, before I even did, and I had been in King’s- Eumetes’- whatever the fuck his name was, hands for a while. Why didn’t he just-” She stopped herself as King words resurfaced. The ones he spoke when she was paralyzed.
“I should have killed you the moment Dwight brought you to me at that fucking pack of yours. The only reason why I didn’t was because I knew that Lycaon would do anything to get you. He would even have given up that fucking throne to get you. He almost did, until you escaped.”
He had been using her as a bargaining chip to get the throne. She had been nothing more than a means to dethrone his own father.
“Lycaon knew where they were and he had ordered his son and Finnegan to bring them to him. Finnegan already knew about her, but how he found out who she is, is something I don’t know. If he had a wolf tracking her it would explain the attack, but that also means that Lycaon still wants her and that’s not going to happen.”
“Finnegan.” Her eyes snapped to Caden as she realized another thing. “King had found out about me and where I was through Finnegan.” Caden gave her a small nod.
Finnegan would have taken you and brought you to Lycaon.
Her mouth fell open again as she tilted her head a little and gave him a begging look as she asked the question, “Finnegan is a Lycan as well, isn’t he?” Another nod.
“By the gods.” She breathed as she gripped her hair and turned away from him before she started to pace, not able to stay still. She had contacted him when she had been recaptured by King, his own fucking brother. She had believed him to be a potential ally when he had been the one who would have immediately taken her to Lycaon to be killed. If she had accepted his deal and met with him, she would have been dead right now.
“Finnegan, Phineus is his real name, works for Lycaon and yes, is his son. Pretending to be a normal Lycanthrope Alpha with the help of a Lycan, who is in fact his brother Carteron. I knew from the moment of the attack that you would try to contact him. That’s why I had Rev search every inch of your room. If you had made a deal with him and gone to him-”
“I would be dead right now. Yeah, I also figured that out by now.” She said as she ran her hands over her face a few times.
“This is too much.” She said after a while. It was the truth; her mind couldn’t take it anymore and she felt like she needed to jump of a cliff or scream her lungs out to lose the tension that had been filling her body. “This is way to fucking much!” She basically yelled.
“How!? Seriously, how could I have been blind about all of this!?” Now she was yelling. “It never made sense why King was so powerful and I never questioned how he could be. I never questioned anything! And yet everyone was either using me or trying to get me!” Angry tears started to well up in her eyes out of frustration and anger as her mind raced through everything she has been through. Things she was forced to go through because of what she is.
For the first time in forever she cursed her parents for keeping her in the dark about who she was. They never told her anything and had been kept ignorant because they wanted her to have a childhood. But she never had it. She was six when King came for her and after that her life had been nothing else but torture. Almost her entire pack was killed in front of her eyes. She had seen her father’s body ripped to shreds and her mother-
“He is going to die, just like that traitor you called mother. At least she was properly tortured for her crime of producing the abomination you are.”
And her mother had been raped and tortured because of her. A tear slipped out of her eye as she became deadly still, staring at the stream next to Caden as she started to feel herself becoming numb.
“Did King and Lycaon ever work together?” Her voice was barely there, but the steadiness in it was frightening.
“No, Eumetes hated his father too much to work with him.” Her eyes slowly travelled to him until she met his gaze. “My mother-” Her throat constricted, keeping her from adding anything to it. Caden sighed through his nose again as he clenched his jaw. Another tear rolled down her cheek. “Tell me.” The order rolled out of her, causing a tingle to go over her spine. Caden tensed a bit before he relaxed again. “He didn’t torture her because he had to. He wanted too, because the one thing he and his father shared was the hate they had for her giving birth to you. Everything he did to her, up to trying to kill you and leading to her death was because he wanted her to suffer for what she had done.”
“For giving birth to me.” Her entire body went cold as the words left her mouth. “They both, they all, died because of me.” Another tear rolled out of her eye.
“Not all.” He said as he got a little closer. “There are six here who survived, like you. Five of which didn’t hesitate to name you their Alpha.”
“And the other betrayed me and joined Rafe’s pack.” She added as her eyes were once more focused on the stream.
“That was his own choice to make.”
“Was it?” She met his gaze once more. Caden was standing much closer than he had before. “My pack, my father and my mother are dead because I was born. Everything that happened is because I was born. If I hadn’t this all wouldn’t have happened.”
“No, another Ulfhednar Moonblood would have been born and everything would have happened anyway, it just wouldn’t have happened to you. Don’t you fucking dare to blame this all on yourself.” He snarled as he got even closer. “You didn’t choose to be born, so don’t fucking dare to put everything of what happened on yourself.”
“I don’t.” She said calmly. Her entire body was cold and numb and her mind had shut down once more. It was like her body knew that this was too much to take and had shut down the power of her emotions and feelings. “I’m just saying that it wouldn’t have happened.” Caden furrowed his eyebrows again as a muscle ticked in his jaw. She didn’t know what kind of look he gave her, but she didn’t care. She couldn’t care right now.
“Why didn’t you tell me this before?” She asked as she focused on the glittering of the running water.
“Because you had too much on your mind, and because we were in Rafe’s territory.”
The glittering in the water moved in her vision. It looked like a thousand stars were dancing in the daylight and were about to be discovered by the moon, making them skittish.
“Have we left Norway?”
“No.” Caden immediately answered.
“Then we’re still in his territory. He is a Royal after all.” The stars danced for her and she could have sworn they were laughing. It was the only thing around her that kept her from collapsing into herself, so she kept looking.
“Liv?” Caden’s voice sounded closer than before, his breath making her hairs tickle against her neck. Liv chuckled as she brushed her hair from her neck and took a step to the side. “That tickles.”
“Liv.” His voice sounded sterner now, making the stars in the water disappear out of fear for the moon. “Look at me.”
“You’ve scared them.” She said as she kept looking at the water with a sad look in her eyes. “Livana, look at me.” Caden said as he grabbed her arms and made her turn towards him. Her eyes slowly travelled towards him, making him squeeze her a little as his gaze turned hard. “What are you feeling?”
“You.” She answered truthfully as she focused on his silver eyes and the hands on her arms. She had never seen it before, but they weren’t just plain silver. There were some white veins in them, making them look like pulsating stars as his eyes moved.
“Liv?” Caden asked again, but it was like she couldn’t hear it. She was lost in two pulsating stars and she didn’t want to ever leave. “Fuck.” He said as he noticed what was wrong with her. He released her arms and walked away from her to the fire, yet she didn’t move. Her eyes simply ventured back to the stars in the water which were back. There were some sounds behind her before her elbow was grabbed. “Come with me.”
“No, I don’t want to leave them.” She whined as she kept looking at the stream.
“Fine, then we do this the hard way.” Before she could truly comprehend what was happening, she was picked up in bridal style and carried away from the stars and the stream.
“Don’t let the moon get them.” She whispered as she laid her head against his chest and focused on the sound of his heart. “I won’t, Moonblood.” Caden answered softly as he carried her to a place unknown.