To My Shattered Soul

A week later Peter called one of his friends Bruno to his home to introduce me, he was excited and he had been talking about it all week, how I would enjoy his company and how funny he is, so it was the time when he was going to enter from the front door any second.

Even Peter had no idea that all of his excitement would go down the hills, when Bruno arrived, they spent a few hours in the living room and I suppose they were catching up after a long time because Peter mentioned something about not seeing him for a year.

And maybe they had to eat something and finally, I saw the door opening, I quickly got up from the ground and straightened my clothes with my hands.

Within the next few minutes, I saw them both getting inside the room, Peter grabbed him with his arms and pushed him in front of me “Look!” He exclaimed with joy, Bruno was a small man with small eyes and curly hair, and he was wearing a leather jacket.

For a couple of minutes, Bruno kept looking at the glass from top to bottom Peter wanted to see his reaction but before he could say anything Bruno started stammering “This is really…. I mean… really cool!”

He placed both his hands on his waist and continued “Where did you order this mirror? This looks amazing, this style looks awesome, I’m gonna get myself a mirror like that!”

This wasn’t what we were expecting at all even I said hello to him and he didn’t reply, something was fishy for sure so Peter asked again “What? Mirror? Don’t you see anything else? In the mirror?” both mine and his smile blew away as if we’ve seen a ghost.

“What else do you want me to see?” Bruno was acting as if Peter was saying something stupid, Peter didn’t want to make things worse for himself he kept looking into my eyes but his eyes seemed dead inside as if they’d lost the only spark left.

Peter faked a smile and answered him, “That, your friend has got a new haircut!” He took him outside of the room.

I kept looking at the door closing in front of me, hours passed and there was no sign of Peter, I sat by the end of the wall wrapping my arms around my knees, I kept waiting and finally, the door opened again.

Peter wasn’t looking at me, I called out to him but he acted as if I didn’t even exist, I always find it hard to live under the same roof with those who are mad at me, or not talking to me, I felt hurt, I felt… that feeling is indescribably heart-wrenching, I wanted to ask him ‘How is it my fault if some man didn’t see me?’ but I didn’t.

The next morning when he woke up I tried to talk to him but what I heard from him left me traumatized, at first he kept ignoring me but when I protested and asked him why is he ignoring me? You won’t believe what he said.

“I know you are not here! You are just a fragment of my imagination! And talking to you is like destroying myself and wasting my time, so from now on! I will just ignore you!” This! This is what he said.

I kept crying and begging him to believe me but he just left, and just like that he really started ignoring me.

That scenario left a greater impact on both our friendship and our lives, I had no one to turn to anymore.

I was left alone with nothing but the voices inside my head, I watched him sleeping, eating, playing games, video calling his friends, and my existence meant nothing to him.

I can’t explain how fast I was drifting back to my misery, but then I noticed something, he never changed his clothes in the room and he didn’t break the mirror which gave me hope that maybe somewhere in his heart, he knew I was real.

He was just scared to admit it, I didn’t know when dark circles started growing around my eyes, and when the redness started appearing in my eyes then one day I started hearing clearer voices, they were my parents again.

“Her condition is worsening with each passing day” It was my father’s voice and my mother was crying, she kept crying for some time then I heard a sound as if someone opened a door somewhere.

While I was alone in the room and the door was closed then I heard a voice again “Please come back to me, I miss you!” At first, I couldn’t understand what was happening and why I was hearing their voices but then I felt that maybe, I was stuck inside my subconsciousness.

This is the reason why I wasn’t feeling anything, no suffocation, no pain, no hunger, no tiredness, and now I believed Peter, maybe I was a hallucination after all, but there were still a few things I could feel! Loneliness! And I was hurting, really bad.

But why wasn’t I waking up? And if there is a fixed time period that I have to spend here, how am I gonna do it like this, being ignored by a person who literally lives in front of me?

I still remember how his eyes used to sparkle when he used to wake up in front of me and greet me, and now he’s afraid, afraid to turn his face toward me thinking “What if she’s still there?” and as time passed I stopped calling out to him, I kept sitting by the wall and crying my eyes out, without making any sound.

I… missed him! I missed our long chats and those hysterical waves of laughter at just tiny things that weren’t even that funny! I even missed just sitting with him silently without saying anything.

For the first time, I wanted to get out of that glass prison, only if I could punch it harder and it could shatter down in front of me, but I didn’t, I knew I could touch it! But it wouldn’t break.