TO HAVE AND TO HATE

CHAPTER 4

‘Are you okay?’ Darius asks. ‘You’ve been unusually quiet this evening.’

I raise my glass of wine to my lips and swallow a large sip. Accepting to come for this dinner with my husband was a bad idea knowing that my body is on edge and I am a bit irritated because of what Nico did. I don’t even understand why he started something knowing he had no intentions of finishing it. I didn’t even get a chance to use my toys and get off when I got home because D was already back from work when I knocked off.

‘Penelope. Are you okay?’

I force a smile, ‘I am okay babe. I just have a slight headache; work was hectic today. You know how these students can get sometimes.’

‘You know you can always quit if the job is getting stressful. I don’t like you being this tired.’

‘You know I love my job babe and I am not quitting any time soon.’

‘But you know you can quit anytime. I have enough money to take care of you for as long as you live.’

‘I know my love but I really don’t want to just be home. You know me now; I love to work.’

‘Well, maybe we need to take some time off, a vacation or something just so you can rest.’

‘A vacation would make so much sense. Infact let’s take a family vacation when Tessa closes school.’

‘Okay, I love the sound of that. I too need the rest.’

‘Great,’ I say and we get back to eating. I feel like such an awful person for lying to this man. He doesn’t deserve what Nico and I are doing, D is a great man, if only he could improve on his skills in the bedroom, then maybe just maybe I wouldn’t be craving the touch of another man.

My phone vibrates indicating a new message.

‘Hey beautiful,’ the text reads.

I know without a doubt who this text is from even though I don’t have his number.

‘How did you get my number?’ I type back.

‘I have my ways.’

‘What do you want?’

‘Can I take you out tomorrow after school?’

‘You are joking.’

‘No, I am not.’

‘Nico, why me?’

‘Why not you?’

‘You know why.’

‘Don’t start with the whole age difference. I like you and that’s all that matters.’

‘Look Nico. I can’t have anything to do with you. What happened that night and today was nice but it can’t happen again.’

‘Why?’

‘Because I am married. I am your lecturer. It was a mistake. I feel so bad for cheating on my husband. Please stop.

After I send that message, I look up to find D staring at me.

‘What?’

‘Your phone? You’ve been texting for the last couple of minutes.’

‘Oh that. That’s just Patra, she was trying to find out if we can meet tomorrow morning for a run.’

‘That discussion can’t wait until later?’

‘I am sorry babe.’

‘It’s okay. So, babe, what do you think we should get Tessa for her eighteenth birthday?’

‘I was thinking of a big birthday party and a car for eighteen for knowing my daughter, she wouldn’t want anything big and extravagant. So, dinner with her close friends and she still gets the car, I think it’s about time she started driving herself. She is always whining about being dropped off every morning.’

He laughs, ‘She must get the car. Just find out which one she wants and it’s done. And dinner with her close friends will work. That girl hates crowds, she is so reserved to be your child, if I didn’t know any better, I would think they swapped her at birth.’

‘Babe!’ I slightly hit his shoulder. ‘Am I that bad?’

‘No, you are not bad but I also know you wouldn’t give up a big party.’

‘Oh please.’

My phone starts ringing. I stare at it. Nico is calling.

‘Aren’t you going to pick that?’

I force a smile, ‘it’s not important.’

The call ends. Then it starts ringing almost immediately.

‘I think you should pick that up.’

I take another sip of my drink and pick the call.

‘Pat. What do you want? I’ve told you I am having dinner with my husband. Give us some space please.’

‘Why are you not responding to my messages?’

‘Not now.’

‘Fine. I will be waiting to hear from you. I have plans for us for tomorrow evening.’

‘I didn’t even say yes.’

‘I will call you later.’

‘Fine.’

I end the call and place the phone on the table. This boy will be the death of me. How do I resist him? I don’t want to be the kind of woman that carries on an illicit affair. I don’t want to hurt my husband. I know D would be crashed if he found out about this. I must put that boy in his place, I must put a stop to this.

When D and I finish eating, he pays the bill and we head back home. We talk nonstop and laugh on the way back home. I live for moments like this, moments when it’s just him and I against the world. I can’t wait to just sort through these feelings for Nico so that I can focus on my marriage.

*

EllaB

The August Girl

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