The Wolf Of Penshaw Lake

I didn’t call Jack back. However, I had begun to read Jane Eyre and the book sat neatly on the bedside table, one page dog-eared so I knew where to pick it up from. It was slowly becoming one of my favourite reads; not that I did much reading anyway. I mulled over his number, written in slanted, rushed writing, for three days before I decided that I wasn’t ready to pursue anything. Especially considering I didn’t really feel anything for Jack.

And the mind-numbing fact that I couldn’t really get Mason out of my mind.

Which was really fucking with my brain.

It was day seven of being in Penshaw Lake and I sat up, back pin-straight and legs folded on the cover of my bed as I awaited mum to come back from shopping. She had been over to Jane’s shop every day since the night we went over for dinner and I could tell that Jane was bringing out a completely different side to her. One that actually laughed. One that actually wanted to be outside in the fresh air, not wallow in her own depressive state of mind. One that, for once, wasn’t reminded somehow of Dan everywhere she went.

It felt like hope in every sense of the word. Penshaw Lake felt freeing.

“Oh you’ll never guess what?”

Mum came barreling in through the door of the hotel, pushing it open with her elbow as she brandished shopping bags in both hands. She set them down on the bed and brushed back the flyaways of her hair that were sticking to her face.

“Did you run here?” I asked with a grin, looking at her slightly flushed expression and heaving chest.

“I speed walked.” She said quickly, brushing the question aside. “Are you ready?”

Without a word, I gestured for her to go ahead, wondering what had gotten her so excited.

“Jane has actually offered for us to stay rent-free in the B&B as long as I tend to it for her and pick up some odd jobs in the antique shop!”

“What?” I squealed, jumping up from my cross-legged position on the bed to stand instead as I stared at her in disbelief. “Does that mean you want to stay?”

“Yes I think I do,” Mum nodded, matching my excitement with a grin of her own. “Jane took me to see the B&B today, Oh Heidi it’s gorgeous! It’s so cosy and homely with a real fireplace and its own little office space...”

I was almost dancing with excitement, I could barely keep my feet on the floor, “I can take Josie up on the offer at Blossom’s! Do you really think Penshaw Lake is for us?”

Mum went serious for a moment and took a deep breath in.

“You said it yourself,” She stated, “We can’t keep running. Penshaw Lake has been nothing but inviting, warm and wonderful to us. I think, somehow, we were supposed to find this place.”

I squealed, like no twenty one year old ever should, and leapt into her arms. She grasped me, laughing and we hugged tightly, both feeling ecstatic. It was a wonderful feeling, to accept a place as home. Sure, we would still be on eggshells, but they were firmer shells and we were less afraid of those that would break on us.

“I have to tell Josie, Dee and Kate,” I remarked. “They’ll be so happy.”

Mum smiled, her eyes growing watery and she sniffed, “I’m glad you’ve finally found friends. I remember you struggled in high school and I remember wishing that you just had a normal childhood.”

I smiled sadly in return, “I’m just glad I get the chance to make memories now.”

I kissed mum on the cheek and checked my hair, which I had styled in a high ponytail, in the bathroom mirror. I was already dressed in a cute, yellow summer dress that flowed to mid-thigh with thin spaghetti straps holding it up. I paired it with a pair of new sandals that I had bought a couple of days ago. The weather was really warming up and I could feel summer approaching.

I couldn’t wait. Summer was my favourite. Dan would always be at the pub and we always had every excuse to be outside and enjoy the sun. Summer was beautiful, vibrant and I could just forget about Dan when enjoying the heat of the rays. Winter just felt the opposite. Cold, miserable and wet. It made Dan sour too and that never bode well for either of us.

“Okay I’m going,” I exclaimed. “I’ll see you later.”

I stepped out of the hotel and was met with warm, sunny air and a cool breeze drifting across my body. I settled my sunglasses on my eyes and began walking down towards the high street where I knew I would find Josie.

Pushing open the door to Blossoms’ I was surprised to see Josie, Dee and Kate all sat at a little table towards the back of the cafe. They were chatting earnestly, Josie still wearing her apron; an indicator that she was on her break. Kate caught my eye and gestured me over widely, gaining the attention of the two other girls who grinned in my direction.

“Hi Sophie!” Josie called, I felt a pinch of guilt in my stomach for not telling them my real name. But Sophie was who I was to be now, even if I became her forever.

“Hey guys,” I called, giving them a light, friendly wave as I weaved my way around the crowded tables in the little café.

“Pull up a chair, come sit with us. Josie only has a few minutes left of her break,” Dee commented.

I did as she asked, taking a chair away from a table that had just been emptied. Dee scooched around to let me place my chair down and sit at the table. It felt so...nice to just be included.

“We’ve been talking about Ella’s fifteenth. Did Jane invite you?”

I frowned, “No, I didn’t know Ella was turning fifteen.”

Josie rolled her eyes, “I bet she forgot. Family parties and gatherings are a real big part of life for us. We’re always having barbecues and when we were younger it was sleepovers. Mason used to always have friends over when he was younger, but he’s a miserable old git now. Everyone will be there.”

“Who’s everyone?” I asked, leaning my elbows on the table and resting my chin in my clasped hands.

Josie looked at both Kate and Dee as though there was something she was keeping from me, Dee took over, which I found strange.

“Just family and friends. All our families have known each other for a really long time and it’s such a small town that all our parents know each other and all our kids will probably know each too. But you should come to the party,” She nudged my shoulder, “Isaac and Mason will be there,” She added with a wink.

I furrowed my eyebrows at her, “Why would them being there make me want to go?” I laughed.

Kate wiggled her eyebrows at me, her mouth open in a teasing smirk, “I think we both know why.”

I laughed, feeling my cheeks go red. I definitely did not want to see Mason there. He was making my brain turn to mush by the minute. He terrified me, but deep down he awoke some disturbing carnal desire that I had never felt before.

Suddenly Dee gasped, making my heart skip a beat, “I almost forgot. Sophie you’ve been here for seven days now! Has your mum said anything about staying here?”

I smiled coyly at them, looking at all their eager faces and feeling my heart burst, “Yes,” I cried, “We’re staying!”

All three girls burst into excited squeals, ignoring the looks of annoyance from others in the café. It felt amazing to be wanted, to have actual friends that wanted me around.

“Jane offered for us to stay in the bed and breakfast she has, so long as mum manages it and takes care of it. Josie...” I turned to the waitress who had a huge smile on her face, “I was hoping I could take you up on the offer of working here?”

Josie nodded so quickly, I thought her head would fall off, “Of course you can, oh my god I’m so fucking excited I could wee!”

I exploded into a fit of giggles at her outburst, sending the others into a flurry of laughter alongside me. Josie sobered up first, looking at the clock and then towards the kitchens where the manager was staring at her, tapping her finger against the non-existent watch on her wrist.

“I’m back on shift. The party is tonight around seven at Jane and Andrew’s. You’ve been before haven’t you? Just show up, we’ll be there,” She said as she jumped up from the table and gave us a wave before heading into the kitchen and out of sight.

“That’s also our cue. Josie hates us watching her work,” Kate laughed.

The two girls left the cafe, leaving me alone at the table. For the first time in a long time, I truly felt comfortable. I ordered a small latte to go and wiggled my fingers in Josie’s direction, telling her I would see her later. I stepped out of the cafe and back into the high street, looking up with disappointment as I watched the sun hide behind some grey looking clouds. I grimaced and crossed my fingers as I hoped it wouldn’t rain.

But the English weather was forever unpredictable and I found myself running back to the hotel, with nothing but my hands to cover my hair and shelter it from the rain. Looking in a mirror in the hotel lobby I groaned, I was hoping to get away with not washing my hair, but I looked like a drowned rat.

I sighed and headed upstairs to begin getting ready for tonight.

***

I had asked mum if she wanted to come, but she simply scoffed at me and picked up the remote for the TV.

“My partying days are over,” She told me and settled comfortably into the bed to watch another rerun of Friends.

So that was why I was stood at the driveway of Jane’s house, alone.

People carrying presents, mostly in the form of alcohol, were walking past me and straight into the manor where familiar pop music was pumping out of the speakers and through the wide open windows into the street. I heaved a deep breath, willing tonight to go smoothly and to not bump into Mason.

“Sophie, why are you stood outside?” Cried a voice from beside me and I turned to see Josie walking up the street towards me.

She was truly beautiful, a pretty black and red play suit leaving little to the imagination and her feet were clad in stiletto heels that I could only dream to walk in. Her naturally tanned skin had been enhanced by self-tan and she was even darker than usual.

“I didn’t really want to go in alone. I was just gathering some inner courage,” I replied honestly, with a short laugh.

“Bitch, you don’t need any courage other than liquid!”

Josie had been pre-drinking clearly. I raised my eyebrows at her and she rolled her green eyes back at me.

“We’re going to need some alcohol to cope with all the kids. But its a family party too, all of Ella’s friends will probably be in the kitchen and the garden, and the adults in the big dining room.”

I felt a little relieved at that. I definitely did not want to be drinking around a ton of fifteen year olds that I didn’t know. Josie linked her arm through mine and strode confidently towards the front door, almost dragging me behind.

The open toe heeled boots that Dee had slung on me when I first arrived were the ones I chose to wear tonight. I paired them with some black jeans and the only cropped shirt I owned. My look was a lot more casual than Josie’s, but I was not as comfortable in my body as she so clearly was.

As I entered the manor, I was greeted by banners and balloons adorning the hallway and people milling about in every room as I passed. Josie moved her arm down to grasp my hand and I held onto to tightly as we went straight down the hallway, passing the staircase and into the dining room where my eyes immediately met Kate and Dee who were filling up drinks at the table.

Dee held up her drink in greeting, “Welcome to a typical family party,” She cheered.

“You’re not all related though are you?” I asked, as I was ushered by Josie to pour myself a drink.

Kate giggled, “No. But our families are all so close we may as well be. We never have gatherings without each other.”

It sounded...utopian. How they all cherished, respected and loved one another so dearly and by looking around the room it was clear to see. People hugged, kissed and greeted each other so happily you would think they had been apart for weeks, when in reality, they had only been apart a few hours or a couple of days. I watched as Kai embraced Eric with a punch to the shoulder and Eric responded with a hearty slap to the balls.

I took a sip and let my eyes drift around the room. I tried to kid myself that I wasn’t looking for him, but truthfully I knew that I was. Isaac came into the room, but he was not with him. This time, when Isaac greeted me, it was friendly but there was no flirting in his tone. Instead, he turned his flirt on with Kate who simply batted away every cheesy pick up line he tried.

A few hours later, the party was in full swing, the music was pounding through my body and the drinks were flowing nicely. I was making sure that I drank water in between, but I was feeling slightly tipsy. I had been introduced to so many people, I had completely lost count and forgotten half the names I was trying to remember.

Mason still hadn’t made an appearance and it wasn’t just me that noticed. Several people had commented on his no-show and I was beginning to think that he was held in quite a high regard. I stumbled past some people, not missing their funny looks, as I attempted to make my way to the upstairs bathroom.

Breaking the seal was no joke.

Upstairs was off limits to party goers, aside from the bathroom, and each wooden door was closed as I passed. The music was much quieter up here and I could hear the familiar sound of typing from one closed room and wondered if Mason was inside. I resisted the urge to place my ear against the door, and strode on down the landing towards the open door of the bathroom.

Once I had finished, I began to make my way back downstairs when I heard the strange sound of moaning. Male moaning. I scrunched up my face in displeasure and went to hurry myself away from the sounds.

Until I heard a cry.

I stopped still in my tracks, straining to hear it again in case I was imagining things. It was coming from a closed off room next to the bathroom and sounded muffled as though someone was trying to cry out against something.

The cry sounded again and this time it was accompanied by a male’s voice.

“Shut the fuck up, Ella.”

I saw red. I had stopped Dan from abusing mum one too many times to not realise exactly what was going on. I clenched my hands into fists and took a few steps back, ready to burst in through the door and yank the bastard away from Ella. I gripped the door handle and stopped myself.

What if I was reading into this wrong? Not every relationship was abusive. Not every man was like Dan.

But Ella cried again and this time, there was no mistaking the fear and pain in her voice.

I flew into the room.