The She-Wolf Alpha (Book 1 She-Wolf Series)

We rode in silence as Emerick guided the car smoothly through the trees and into a more suburban area. Since the homes within an hour’s drive were all werewolf-owned, the residents were also part of my pack.

Creating werewolf-safe communities was an idea Stephen had adopted and William had subsequently expanded on. Many other packs had followed suit. I admired the former alphas for their ingenuity.

With the advent of smartphones and social media, it had become more difficult for werewolves to hide. Even with our allies strategically placed within the government, the general public being made aware of our existence would end terribly.

I was thinking about plans to further werewolf housing projects in communities more distant to the pack house when Emerick slid into a parking spot and cut the engine. He walked quickly to open my door for me.

“M’lady,” he said as he bowed and reached for my hand.

“What a gentleman,” I faked a swoon. We both laughed, and I took his arm.

When we walked into the restaurant, the hostess gave Emerick a once over and licked her lips. She was a petite woman with large breasts, spilling out of her low-cut cocktail dress. I could’ve sworn her long eyelashes batted at him under her dark bangs. I held back the growl Ayisha was sounding in my mind, but felt satisfied when she caught my gaze and bowed her head.

“Alpha Paulson. Beta Stone,” she greeted us nervously, “Right this way.”

“Actually it’s just Emerick,” he responded with a small smile. I thought I would hear sadness or maybe bitterness in his tone. Instead, all I could sense was acceptance.

The hostess nodded slightly, looking confused and led us to our table. She settled us quickly and left without making eye contact again. I looked up to find Emerick grinning from across the table.

“What?” I asked.

“Nothing,” he shrugged, “Just wondering if Polly is going to have to go pull the daggers you shot her out by herself, or if one of the waitresses can help.”

I rolled my eyes, “She was practically drooling over you with me standing right there.”

“Hey, you don’t have to justify anything to me,” he chuckled and put up his hands defensively. “That was awesome.”

I smirked back at him, “Okay, big guy. Glad I could feed that ego of yours.”

He laughed once again as our waitress came to take our order. We settled into a comfortable conversation. I told him about the headway made towards setting up security for Emilia and that I planned to have Luke and my parents move in on Wednesday. The Alpha Ceremony would be the following Saturday and I was looking forward to crossing that off the list. It would be nice to have a more normal feeling routine without the pressure of an upcoming event.

As soon as I had the thought, I remembered that now I would also have a Mating Ceremony on the horizon. I sighed at the thought, but then felt immense guilt at my lack of excitement. I should be excited about the equivalent of a wedding. Instead, the thought exhausted me.

“What’s the matter?” Emerick asked. He had been talking about his last couple days working with Jackson and Jonathan to tighten security.

“Oh. Nothing,” I lied. “Just remembered some work I forgot to do.”

“Hmm. Have you thought about who you are going to appoint Beta? A beta could help take some off your plate,” he suggested.

“Actually, I asked Michael Stevens to take the role today,” I told him.

Emerick’s eyebrows shot up and he sat up straight.

“Wow,” he said. “You know the rumors about his past, right?”

“Yep,” I said simply and offered no elaboration.

I had a feeling no matter who I chose, Emerick probably could’ve found fault with them and I didn’t want to argue. Emerick seemed to take the hint and stayed silent but I knew it was a conversation he would want to have eventually.

Again, I was surprised with my own annoyance at the prospect of dealing with Emerick. Before, I would’ve valued his opinion. Before, I might’ve even talked to him prior to appointing a beta at all.

I loved him, but something had shifted over the last couple days. I couldn’t even completely blame it on the Celeste situation. Spending a night apart from Emerick had given me some of the space and freedom I had always valued. I was becoming more confident as alpha and less reliant on him.

Looking up, I saw hurt flash briefly in Emerick’s eyes before he masked it. Guilt washed over me. I shouldn’t be shutting him out. He would be my partner and deserved to be involved in my decisions, especially at who would be my right hand. My thoughts were interrupted by our food being delivered.

I absentmindedly picked at my plate while I looked around the restaurant. It was fairly busy and almost every table was occupied by at least one werewolf. The humans present were all mated to werewolves and I was pleased to see that there were a few cross-species couples. I had worried that my mom would be an outcast. Several people snuck looks towards mine and Emerick’s table but no one approached and everyone tried to be discreet.

“I think we are going to be the talk of the town,” I murmured.

“Well you already are the talk of the town, hun,” Emerick pointed out.

I grinned, “I have definitely kept things interesting since getting here, huh?”

Emerick chuckled, “You work fast.”

I smiled and took a sip of the wine the waitress had suggested. She had been right about it pairing well with my salmon. I looked up to find Emerick staring at me like there was something he wanted to say and I gave him a questioning look.

He sighed before asking, “Are we… okay? It seemed like things were better at the house, but you feel really distant.”

“I think I’m just exhausted. This is nice,” I said, gesturing around the room. “But I think after this week, my tiredness is finally setting in.”

“That makes sense,” he said. “I’m sorry if you felt obligated to come out tonight.”

“No, it’s okay,” I said quickly. “I guess I didn’t realize.”

Emerick nodded, but didn’t say anything else. We silently finished our meal, paid the check and made our way to the car.

As we drove home, I searched for the right thing to say, but again found myself with a loss of words. I decided it was nerves. I had gone from widowed mother, to alpha of a werewolf pack and engaged in the span of a few days. It was overwhelming to say the least. Even though I had forgiven Emerick, I knew his silence meant he still thought that I was upset with him.

More than anything, I was embarrassed about my showdown with Celeste. The pack would definitely hear about it as the rumors started flying. Addressing them could draw more attention to it, while ignoring it ensured the truth would be exaggerated. It was not necessarily Emerick’s fault, but he definitely had some responsibility in it. I needed to talk things out with a friend, but there was only one person who I could think to reach out to.

As we pulled in the drive, I hopped out and turned to Emerick.

“Hey, I’m going to go for a walk to clear my head. Do you mind?” I asked him.

He ran a hand through his hair uncomfortably before saying, “No of course not. I’ll be here when you get back.”

I gave him a small smile and reached up to place a peck on his cheek. He returned my smile but it didn’t reach his eyes as he gave my hand a squeeze. I turned and made my way down a game trail in the woods behind his house and I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket.

“Sammy? Is everything okay?” She answered on the second ring.

“Hey, Mama. Yes everything’s fine,” I took a deep breath, “Mostly.”

“What’s going on, baby girl?”

I continued walking as I looked for where to begin. I hadn’t really had a chance to talk to my mom one on one since I had left home. She was my best friend and closest confidant, but I didn’t want to worry her.

“I don’t know,” I said honestly. “I guess I’m just feeling a little lost at the moment.”

She stayed silent while she waited for me to continue.

“Emerick proposed,” I admitted, finally.

“And you don’t sound happy because… you said no?” she guessed.

“Technically I said yes,” I said and heard her sigh.

“Then why do you sound upset, Sammy,” she asked.

I told her everything. About Celeste and the stupid letter. About what Emerick had said before we met. How I was feeling now. It felt good just to let the words flow freely, and some of the tension left my shoulders. As I wound down, I was surprised to feel tears sliding down my cheeks.

“Oh, Sam,” my mom started, “Honey, why are you rushing this decision?”

“Dad and Stephen both warned me about the male wolves who would try to use me to their advantage,” I confessed. “Then another alpha tried to take the pack by having me sign a contract to mate his son. It’s been a rough few days, Mom. Emerick is the only reason I don’t feel so alone and mating him would keep other wolves away.”

“Okay, listen to me,” Mom ordered, “You are never alone Sam. Your dad and Stephen may have warned you, but neither of them would want you to make this decision just because you are afraid.

"Emerick is not the only support you have there. Stephen and William have called your dad multiple times a day to let him know how you are doing. In the 35 years we have been married they have never called Elias. Now they all talk nonstop. They are trying to give you space so that you can find your way as Alpha, but if you need support, they are there for you, Sam. All you need to do is ask.

“Now. In regards to this situation with Emerick,” she paused and took a deep breath. “Maybe he is the guy for you and you two will have a long happy life together. Or maybe you are making a rash decision because the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t. Either way, it’s okay to slow things down. You are a strong and capable woman. On top of that, I am told you are one of the strongest wolves around with an army at your back. Don’t let fear make you feel cornered or pressured.”

“Thank you, Mom,” I said as I wiped away more tears.

I had reached an open meadow and made myself comfortable on a flat rock.

“Honey, you are the most important thing in my life. I never want you to feel like I wouldn’t be right by your side,” she said, and then seemed to get an idea. “Tell you what. I’m going to have your dad move up the timeline on the movers. They can come this weekend and start bringing everything from your house to the Alpha’s Residence and I will stay there with you so that we can get things set up. Your dad and Luke can stay at our place for the time being. Everything here is pretty much packed at this point anyway.”

“Mom, that would be amazing,” I told her honestly, “Are you sure?”

“Of course I am,” she said, and I could hear excitement in her voice, “Being cooped up here with the boys is driving me batty anyway.”

I chuckled. My mom had always been on the adventurous side. She was probably looking forward to some time among the werewolves without my overprotective father to reign her in.

“You’re a gem, Mom,” I told her, “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it, sweetheart,” she brushed me off, “But Sam? Remember that you deserve absolute happiness, okay? Travis would want that for you. I’m sorry he’s gone and that you didn’t get the time you deserved, but you can find that love again.”

I smiled a sad smile, “I don’t know that I will ever find a love like Travis’s again. I’m okay with that. But I appreciate your advice. I needed to hear it. Truly.”

“Alright, Sammy. I’ll call you in the morning to let you know when I’ll be there, okay? I love you.”

“I love you, too, Mama,” I said and hung up the phone.

I sat staring out across the meadow, absently playing with some gravel on the rock by my feet. My mind felt calmer than it had in days, even as I thought about my conversation with Mom. She was right, of course. I had been running at a million miles a minute since getting here. Now that most of the emergencies had been handled, it would be okay to slow down and settle into my new life. Or at least to slow down as much as the alpha of a werewolf pack could, I supposed.

I sat, breathing in the fresh air and listening to the sounds of nature as night approached. The forest that surrounded the pack house was beautiful and serene without the traffic of humans. The sun had almost completely set when I heard footsteps approaching.

“Hey, Em,” I said as he drew near.

“Hey,” he said tentatively. He sat near me and I leaned my head to rest on his shoulder. I felt his body relax at the contact, and he put his arms around me.

“You seem nervous,” I told him.

“Yeah, I am. I didn’t want to interrupt you but it started to get late,” he said.

“I’m not mad at you, you know,” I told him.

“That’s good to hear,” he said. “You don’t exactly seem happy at me though either.”

I sighed, “I think life has just been moving so quickly lately that it started to feel like I was being suffocated. I talked to my mom for a while and I feel better about things though.”

He nodded.

“I got a call that the moving team timeline got pushed up so we are finishing up the last bit of security tomorrow morning,” he said.

“Yeah, Mom is going to come early and help me set up the house and everything here before Luke and my dad make the move,” I said, picking at the rock again. “I think it will help me feel more at home here.”

“That makes sense,” he said simply, but I could tell there was more he wanted to say.

“It’s not that I don’t feel at home with you,” I told the half truth. “It’s just that I think it will be nice to have my own things.”

“Away from me you mean.”

“That’s not what I meant,” I said gently, “But I do think we’ve been moving a little quickly.”

“Meaning what?” he snapped.

“Emerick,” I gave him a warning tone, but gently placed my hand on his cheek to turn his face towards mine. “I’m not calling things off. I just don’t want to rush to make a lifelong decision out of fear. Can we just try being a normal couple for a while?”

I watched as he took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment.

“Of course, Sam,” he said finally. The animosity had left his tone and I watched his shoulders relax once again. “I’m not trying to pressure you into making a decision. I just wanted you to know how I feel. I’m here for you and I will keep you safe.”

“Thank you,” I said quietly.

I sighed and climbed down from my rocky perch. It was time to head back to Emerick’s house. Although the evening had taken on a more awkward tone, I was happy to not be spending the night alone once again. Emerick jumped down after me and we fell in stride back down the game path. When we reached his property line, Emerick slipped his hand into mine and I smiled to myself.

Everything is going to be okay, I thought.