The Rules of Dating

“What the hell are you doing?”

My brows pulled together when Deek interrupted my thoughts. “I’m sitting in a chair. What does it look like I’m doing?”

“You’re smiling weird.”

“I am?”

Deek was working on one of our regulars. He turned off his machine and swiveled the chair so the customer faced me. “I’m all done, Remy. But does she look funny to you?”

Remy squinted. “I don’t think so. What am I looking for?”

Deek rubbed the scruff on his jaw. “I don’t know. But something is off.” He swiveled the chair back to its normal position and lifted a handheld mirror, offering it to Remy so he could see his back. “Take a look. Let me know what you think.”

Remy spent a few minutes checking out his new tattoo from all different angles and then shook Deek’s hand. “Superb as usual, man.”

“Thanks. Give me a call when you figure out what you want next. It was good to see you.”

After Deek walked Remy up to the front and closed out the sale, it was just the two of us. I had started sketching a Medusa head for a first-time customer coming in next week. Deek looked over my shoulder before leaning one hip against the counter at my workstation.

“Did you watch a scary movie before coming in today?”

I shook my head. “No, why?”

“Pet a litter of puppies?”

I chuckled. “No.”

“How about insult your mother, and she had no comeback?”

I set down my drawing pencil. “What are you getting at?”

“Four things make you smile like that.” He lifted his fingers and counted off. “One, puppies. Two, winning a fight with your mother. Three, movies that scare the crap out of you, and four, getting laid.”

I rolled my eyes. “Well, none of those have happened.”

“No? So nothing happened with Colby then?”

I shrugged. “Well, maybe a little something happened. But we didn’t have sex.”

Deek shook his head. “So you’re telling me you’re smiling because of feelings? I’m going to have to have a chat with this dude.”

“What are you talking about? You’re the one who’s been pushing me to give him a chance.”

“I know. But I didn’t realize you were going to fall for him so quick. I need to make sure his intentions are good.”

I smiled. “Thanks, Dad. But I think I got this.”

Fifteen minutes later, none other than Colby walked through the door. Deek rubbed his hands together.

“Oh crap,” I mumbled.

Colby strolled into the studio with a smile. “What’s up, Deek? Hey, Billie.”

I knew better than to try to talk Deek out of whatever he had planned. So instead, I kissed Colby on the cheek. “I’m going to apologize for this in advance.”

“For what?”

I motioned to Deek, who pointed to the empty chair next to him. “Have a seat, Colby. I’d like to have a word with you.”

Colby looked between me and Deek a few times, but eventually shrugged and sat down. “What’s up?”

Deek folded his arms across his chest. “Where do you see yourself in five years?”

Colby’s forehead wrinkled. He looked to me for help, and I shrugged. “It will be worse not to go along with it,” I said. “Trust me.”

Colby looked wary but returned his attention to Deek. “I don’t know. I guess in five years I’d like to buy some land and start building a summer place. I can’t afford the Hamptons or anywhere trendy, but that’s okay. I like the Hudson Valley better, anyway. Maybe let Saylor get a dog.” He glanced to me and back. “A wife and another kid, maybe. I’m not sure. I don’t really have a timeline for things. I guess I’d just like to be happy and to have my life progress somewhat.”

Deek considered his answer with an unreadable face. “What kind of a dog?”

“Lab maybe?”

“Buy or adopt?”

“Definitely adopt from a shelter.”

Deek nodded. “What kind of porn do you like?”

“I don’t know. Any, I guess?”

“So child pornography is okay?”

“What? No! Of course not.”

“A little more specifics in your answer would be helpful then.”

Colby shook his head. “I don’t know. What kind of porn is there? I guess I like straight, hetero porn. Intercourse, oral, the occasional anal movie.”

“How about an orgy?”

Colby shrugged. “Yeah, sure. I’m down for an orgy.”

Deek looked at me. “Does this concern you?”

I smirked. “No, I’m good with orgies in movies, too.”

Colby wrinkled his entire face. “What the heck is this all about? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m stoked that Billie’s into orgy porn. But where is this all leading?”

Deek held up a finger. “Just one more question. What’s your apartment number?”

“Two-eighteen. Why?”

“So I know exactly where to go if my girl gets hurt.”

I chuckled and jumped down from my chair, walking over to stand next to Colby. “Are you finished, Deek?”

He glared at Colby. “For now…”

“Okay, great. Why don’t you go take your lunch break then?”

Colby waited until Deek was out of earshot before turning to me. “What just happened?”

I pushed up and pressed my lips to his. “He knows things have moved out of the friend zone, so he wants to make sure you’re a decent guy.”

“Maybe I should invite him and his boyfriend to dinner one night.”

I pulled back. “Really? You’d do that?”

“Of course. Why not? He’s a good friend of yours, right?”

“One who just interrogated you…”

Colby brushed my hair from my shoulder. “It’s okay. I’d want my daughter to have protective friends like that. And I hope she’d pick the kind of guy who would have her friends over to put their minds at ease.”

My stomach felt all squishy. “Awww… That’s really sweet, Colby.”

“Well, I’m glad you think so. Because sweet doesn’t exactly describe the thoughts I’ve been having about you since our painting party.”

I bit my lip. “I might’ve had a not-so-sweet thought or two about you over the last few days.”

Colby trailed his knuckles up and down my arm. “Oh yeah? Tell me more…”

I was considering it when Colby’s phone started to chime. It sounded like an alarm. “Shoot. I have to go. Saylor has dance class. I need to relieve the babysitter and get her to the studio.”

I smiled. “I didn’t know she took dance lessons. Does she wear a little pink tutu?”

“She does. But for some reason, she won’t wear her sneakers for the walk over to the studio. Instead, she pairs the pink tutu with these green rubber rain boots my mother bought her. They have a frog’s face molded into the toes.”

I chuckled. “Definitely a girl after my own heart.”

“I gotta run. But I stopped by to see if you wanted to have dinner Saturday night?”

“That sounds good.”

“To be clear. I’m asking you on a date—not an undate.”

“I thought the breast painting might have moved us past the platonic undate.” I laughed. “But yeah, I’d like to have a dinner date with you.”

“My place, okay? Saylor is staying at my parents’ house.” He held up his hand. “No pressure. I know you want to go slow. I just would love to not share you with anyone for once.”

I smiled. “Sure. That sounds good.”

“Okay.” He leaned down and brushed his lips over mine once more. “I’ll see you Saturday.”

***

“I can’t believe you make sauce from scratch.” I was perched up on Colby’s kitchen counter next to the stove, watching him stir a pot of tomato sauce.

“When Saylor first came into my life, I had no idea what to do with a baby. My mom spent a lot of time at my apartment because I was a nervous wreck. I thought I was going to fuck something up and hurt her. Every time Mom came over, she brought an index card with a recipe written down and a bag of groceries. When Saylor would nap, she’d teach me how to cook. I owe a lot to her for making me a better dad.” Colby scooped up a spoonful of sauce and blew on it before lifting it to my lips.

“Oh, wow. That’s really good. Nice and garlicy, the way I like it.”

A tiny drip from the underside of the spoon fell and landed on my collarbone. Colby leaned in and licked it off before running his tongue up my neck and sucking along my pulse line.

“You had some sauce.” He grinned. “I don’t have any paper towels.”

I pointed to the full roll next to me and raised a brow.

“I meant, I’m environmentally conscious and don’t like to use too many paper towels.”

“Uh-huh.” I smiled. Plucking the spoon from his hand, I turned it over and ran the saucy back side along his neck.

Colby’s eyes darkened as I leaned up and returned the favor, dragging my tongue over the sauce and sucking along his throat.

He groaned when I pulled back. “I’m going to pour that pot all over our bodies in a minute.”

I giggled. “What’s with us and painting each other? Do you have a fetish or something?”

“I never knew I did, but it’s definitely become an issue for me. The other day I walked past a kid’s store. There was a Snoopy backpack in the window, and I started to get hard thinking about your tits. I don’t know if I’m going to be able to take my kid shopping anymore because of you.”

I couldn’t stop smiling. “Why don’t you turn that sauce off for a little while? We could go into the living room. I want to sit on your lap and suck your neck some more.”

In two seconds flat, Colby had twisted the knobs on the stove, hoisted me into the air, and carried me to the couch. I laughed the entire way. “Anxious much?”

“Sweetheart, you have no damn idea.”

It didn’t take long before our laughing and fooling around turned into some serious heavy petting. I felt Colby’s hard-on straining through two layers of clothes. It hit against just the right spot between my open legs and felt so damn good. I was seconds away from grinding myself up and down when my cell rang. The ringtone was pretty much the only thing that could have stopped me.

Colby wrenched his mouth from mine. “What is that?”

“It’s from the Wizard of Oz, when the wicked witch is riding her bike in the tornado.”

“Why?”

I sighed. “It’s my mother. Can we pretend my pocket isn’t ringing?”

Colby grinned and squeezed my neck, pulling me back to him without another word. Fifteen seconds later, I was ready to start grinding again when my phone restarted its music. I tried to ignore it, but I really couldn’t.

I pulled away. “I’m sorry. She never calls back when I don’t answer. I should probably get it.”

He nodded. “Yeah, of course.”

I dug the phone from my pocket and swiped. “It’s not a good time, Mom.”

“I was just robbed…” She gasped. “At gunpoint.”

I sat up straight and blinked myself out of the haze of lust I’d been in. “What? Where are you? Are you okay?”

“I’m at the gallery. And no, I’m not okay! He put a gun to my head!”

I jumped off Colby’s lap and looked around for my purse. “Did you call the police?”

“Yes, they’re already here.”

I breathed a small sigh of relief and nodded. “Okay, great.”

“Can you come to the gallery, please? I can use your help.”

“Yeah, of course. I’m leaving right now.”

I hadn’t even swiped my phone off, and Colby already had my purse in his hand and was opening the door to his apartment. “Where are we going?”

“To my mother’s gallery. She was just robbed.”

***

“So your mother said you recently had a showing here at the gallery?” the detective said. He had a small leather flip-up notebook in his hand.

I nodded. “Last weekend.”

Colby and I had arrived at the gallery fifteen minutes ago. My mother seemed to have already shifted from scared to bitchy, which actually brought me some comfort. The masked thief had made off with her wallet, which had less than a hundred bucks cash, but she was currently on the phone canceling all of her credit cards.

The police officer nodded. “And some of the people who came to that show were suspicious?”

My nose wrinkled. “What? No. Why would you say that?”

He pointed over his shoulder with his pencil. “Your mom said that particular night brought a different kind of clientele than she normally has. She seemed pretty certain that the man who came in tonight was also here that evening.”

My eyes widened. “Really? I thought she didn’t get a look at the guy?”

“She didn’t. But she mentioned there were some people with gang affiliations present.” He flipped a page back in his notepad. “One of them named Devin something?”

My jaw hung open. “Are you kidding me?”

“No, why?”

I felt the burn of anger traveling up my face. “Devin is not affiliated with a gang. He’s a well-known tattoo artist and was my mentor for years. I’m sure the people at Bowery Mission, over in Tribeca, will vouch for him since he volunteers there cooking for the homeless three days a week.”

The police officer’s forehead creased as he looked down at his pad again. “What about someone named Lenny Prince?”

I felt like there was fire in my veins. “Lenny is a street artist who was exhibiting the same night Devin was here. The same night I exhibited. His wife is a traffic court judge in Brooklyn. I’m sure she keeps him from breaking into galleries to steal wallets. I hate to tell you, but the only crime either of those men committed was thinking my mother supported their work. You see, my dear mother thinks anyone with tattoos and a lifestyle that doesn’t mimic hers is a hoodlum.” I took a deep breath. “If you really want to know who might want to harm my mother, I’m afraid you’re going to have to interview half of New York City. I’m pretty sure she insults most humans.”

The police officer and I looked over at my mother. She was talking on her cell as she fingered the strand of pearls around her neck. He turned back and folded his notepad. “Thanks for the info.”

“Is there anything else you need from me?” I asked.

He shook his head. “I don’t think so.”

“Then I’m leaving. Good luck with her…”

Colby had been waiting by the door, playing with his phone. He stood when I approached.

I put my hands on my hips. “I want to go back to your apartment and grind myself against your erection until I get myself off while fully clothed. Are you good with that?”

His brows shot up, but he got over the shock really quickly. “Absofuckinglutely.”

“Good, let’s go.”

***

Unfortunately, my gusto didn’t last. My anger morphed into disappointment during the Uber ride back to Colby’s. But Colby was really good at reading me and gave me the space I needed until we walked into his apartment.

“How about I finish dinner?” he said.

I smiled. “That would be great.”

He moved around the kitchen, taking the things he needed from the refrigerator and putting his sauce and a pot of water back on the stove. When he was done, he lifted me back onto the counter where I’d been sitting earlier and spread my legs so he could stand between them.

“Talk to me.”

I shook my head. “I fell for her shit again. I thought she was scared and needed my help. But really she just wanted me to give the police details on some of my friends who’d been at the gallery so they could investigate them as suspects.”

Colby frowned. “I’m sorry.”

“I don’t know when I’ll ever learn with her.” I sighed. “I’m sorry I ruined our date. I know you have very little time without Saylor.”

“You didn’t ruin anything. In fact, I’m a little relieved to find your life can be chaotic once in a while. I feel like it’s always me—having to bring my daughter when we spend time together because the sitter cancels, having to get home before I turn into a pumpkin…” He shrugged. “This is life, and it’s not always easy. In fact, mine is usually a big, fat mess. But I want to share that mess with you, and I want you to share whatever mess you have with me.”

I looked into Colby’s eyes. “You really mean that, don’t you?”

He smiled and gently tapped two of his fingers to my temple. “Well, what do you know? This thick skull is penetrable after all.”

I smiled back. This man had opened up his world for me to come in, and it finally felt like time to do the same. I took a deep breath. “I’m crazy about you, Colby.”

Colby’s face turned serious. “The feeling is mutual. And I’m not going to let you down, Billie.”

I nodded. “I think I’ve always known that. But I was afraid to let myself believe it.”

“Believe it. Believe in me.”

The moment just felt right in my soul. “I want you, Colby.”

His eyes jumped back and forth between mine. “You mean you want to straddle me on the couch and dry-hump me?”

I smiled. “No. I want you inside of me.”

“You sure?”

“I’m absolutely positive.”

Colby lifted me off the countertop and carried me to his bedroom. He set me down in the middle of his bed with my head on his pillow. “There are so many things I want to do to you. Remember a few weeks ago, you said you liked me bossy?”

I nodded.

His lips curved into the sexiest smile. “Raise your arms. Hold onto the headboard and don’t let go.”

Oh God. The air in the room seemed to crackle as I did what he asked.

Colby unbuckled my jeans and slid them down my legs. He hooked a finger into one side of my panties and yanked, causing them to snap.

I gasped and white-knuckled the headboard. Colby licked his lips from the foot of the bed as he looked down at me. “Open your legs.”

He hadn’t laid a finger on me, yet I could feel my orgasm building. I did as he asked and spread my legs on the bed. Colby’s eyes were fixed on my pussy.

“Wider. I want to see how wet you are for me.”

Everything tightened as I spread my legs as wide as possible.

Colby shook his head. “You’re gorgeous everywhere. I’m going to lick you until you beg for my cock.”

I wasn’t sure where this side of Colby had come from, but I fucking loved it. I was about ten seconds away from begging already.

Colby lifted his shirt over his head and climbed onto the bed. He stopped, hovering over me. “Don’t let go of that headboard. Not for any reason.”

I couldn’t form words, so I gave the faintest nod. But it was apparently enough to satisfy Colby, and he buried his face between my legs. There were no teasing licks, or fluttering foreplay; he dove in. His tongue lapped at my wetness, nose pushed against my clit, and he moved his head from side to side while he devoured me. My hips churned as the muscles in my thighs began to tremble.

“Oh, God,” I whimpered. I had the strongest urge to dig my hands into his hair and pull violently. But I continued gripping the headboard, for fear he might stop. Never in my life had an orgasm built so voraciously. Colby’s tongue moved up to torment my clit, lashing and flicking before he sucked it into his mouth. Two fingers slid inside of me and pumped in and out.

My back arched off the bed. “Colby!”

He pumped harder, using his other hand to press against my stomach and hold me down. The sounds of his fingers pushing in and out of my wetness was the most erotic thing I’d ever heard. There was no slow build to the edge of the cliff, I flew over—crying out his name as my body clamped down hard around his fingers.

After, I was in a complete daze, barely aware of Colby standing and stripping out of the rest of his clothes. He opened and shut a nightstand drawer, and when I looked up, he was leaning back on his haunches with a condom raised to his mouth. He used his teeth to tear it open and flashed a cocky grin.

“You can let go of the headboard now.”

“Oh…” I laughed. “I didn’t realize I was still holding it.”

Colby removed the condom from the wrapper and spit out the packaging. My gaze followed his hand as it lowered. “Oh my God.” My eyes widened. “Seriously?”

Colby sheathed himself, fisting the base of his cock once the condom was on. “I’m hoping that wasn’t a disappointed seriously?” He grinned.

I rolled my eyes. “You know it’s not. You’re…huge.”

He chuckled as he lowered onto my body, lining up the wide head of his crown at my entrance. Colby weaved our fingers together and kissed my lips gently before pulling his head back to look into my eyes. Our gazes stayed locked as he pushed inside.

“Fuck.” His eyes briefly closed. “You’re so wet and tight, I’m not gonna last long, sweetheart.”

I smiled. “It’s okay. You already took care of me, and we have all night.”

He eased in and out, gently at first, but pushing farther down with each thrust. Once I was fully ready for him, his movements intensified. I wrapped my legs around his waist, and together we moved back and forth rhythmically. Normally, I was a one-trick pony, only able to orgasm once a day, if I was lucky. But it didn’t take long before I felt the build coming again.

My fingers dug into Colby’s hair, and our mouths fused together in a kiss. My heart raced, feeling so much more than physical pleasure. I was consumed by this man, and it seemed like I wasn’t the only one caught up in the moment. Colby pulled back again to look in my eyes. His jaw was taut, and the veins in his neck bulged. The intensity of the moment pushed me over the edge once again. “I’m gonna…” I didn’t get to complete the sentence before my body was pulsing all around him. “Oh, God…”

Colby quickened his pace, never taking his eyes from mine as he watched my orgasm play out on my face. Once my muscles went slack, he ground down one last time and buried himself deeply as he released. “Fuck,” he roared. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!”

He kissed me gently as we came down from the high. We smiled at each other while Colby continued to glide in and out for a long time, until he finally had to get up and deal with the condom. When he returned from the bathroom, he brought a warm towel and gently washed between my legs before climbing back into bed and scooping me up. He positioned me so my head rested on his chest.

He stroked my hair. “That was amazing.”

I smiled. “Yeah, it was. I don’t think I could lift my head if I tried.”

Colby chuckled. “Get some sleep. I’ll wake you with breakfast in bed.”

I snuggled closer. “That’s so sweet.”

“Not really. You didn’t ask what I’ll be feeding you.”

I slapped his abs and yawned, feeling groggy. “You know how some people say a burp is a compliment to the chef? Well, I conk right out after a good orgasm.”

He kissed the top of my head. “Good. Then you’ll be getting lots of sleep from now on.”