The Rules of Dating

My phone rang Sunday afternoon, and I smiled to see it was Billie. She was scheduled to meet us here in about an hour for our next undate.

“Colby is unavailable right now,” I said when I answered. “He’s still in recovery from the best damn kiss of his life.”

She laughed. “Yeah, it was pretty darn good, I have to admit.”

Just hearing her voice got me all revved up again. I fell back on my bed and bounced on the mattress, still so turned on from last night. “How the hell am I supposed to adhere to our rules now that I know what kissing you is like?”

“I guess you’ll have to forget.”

“Do you want me to forget, Billie? Because you sure as fuck didn’t seem like you wanted to be following the rules the way you came at me.”

“I lost control. It happens to the best of us. What can I say?”

“Feel free to lose control anytime. I’ll be waiting and ready.”

“Anyway…” She cleared her throat. “What’s the plan for today?”

As much as I was teasing her just now, I needed to cool my ass down a little before being alone with her again. The way I was feeling, I was likely to cross the line, move too fast, or fuck things up. So I decided that since I was in charge of this undate, I’d take the liberty of putting a very big buffer in between us. The biggest buffer I knew.

“So, good news and bad news,” I said.

“Okay?”

“The bad news is I couldn’t find a sitter today. But the good news is, we get to spend the day with a little girl who loves your presence almost as much as her father does. I hope that’s okay.”

“Aw… Of course, it is. That’ll be fun to hang out with her.”

“And with my daughter around, I’ll be on my best behavior. So that’s a win for you, right?”

She chuckled. “Where are you thinking we’ll take her?”

“She’s been asking to go to the carousel. I thought maybe we could go there and then grab lunch somewhere fun? What do you think?”

“Sounds good. I’m easy.”

I pulled on my hair. “My dear, you’re far from easy.”

***

Unfortunately, our plans to visit the carousel were shot. It wasn’t very smart of me to promise my daughter something without having checked the forecast. By the time Billie was supposed to arrive, it was pouring rain.

When I opened the door after she knocked, her hair was drenched. My eyes were glued to her, but hers went straight to my daughter.

Billie opened her arms. “Hey, pretty girl!”

Saylor ran to her. “Billie!”

“Long time no see!” Billie bent to hug her. “How are you?”

“I’m good!” She pointed. “You’re wet.”

“I am.”

“I like you wet,” I whispered.

“Get your mind out of the gutter, Lennon. I thought today was supposed to be rated G.”

“If G stands for gutter, then yeah.”

She slapped my arm.

“I deserved that.” I touched her hair. “I’m sorry you got caught in the rain.”

“Are we still going to the carousel? As you can see by my new style—drowned-rat chic—that may not be the best idea.”

“Nah. We’d better not.” I broke the news to my daughter. “Daddy’s an idiot, Saylor. We’re gonna have to pick another time to go to the carousel because it won’t be any fun in the rain.”

“It’s okay, Daddy.”

Billie smiled. “You’re such a sweetheart, Saylor.”

“I guess maybe we can hang out here? Are you okay with that, Billie?”

“I love cozy days inside when it’s raining.” Billie snapped her fingers. “You know what? I have an idea. Would you be opposed to an arts-and-crafts day?”

“Unlike you, I’m easy.” I wriggled my brows. “And I mean that.”

She smacked my arm again and turned to my daughter. “Saylor, have you ever had your face painted?”

She nodded. “Yes!”

“I have some paints that are made for skin downstairs. I’m gonna bring them up so we can have a painting party. Does that sound fun?”

My daughter squealed. Not only did she love art, but any opportunity to make a mess with paint as well.

Billie turned to me. “Is that okay with you? I should’ve asked first. The paints I have are non-toxic, though.”

“That’s perfectly cool with me.” I pulled lightly on Saylor’s ponytail. “Whatever makes this little girl happy, right? That’s my life’s purpose.”

“I’ll be right back,” Billie said.

“Hey, what do you want for takeout? I’ll order something while you’re down there.”

“Surprise me.”

I leaned in. “Like you surprised me last night?”

She rolled her eyes and headed out the door.

While Billie went down to the shop, I placed an order at this Japanese restaurant I remember her saying she liked. Since Saylor loved California rolls, I figured that place would be a safe choice for everyone.

When the food arrived, the three of us ate lunch and sat around the table for a while. After that, I cleared our plates to make space for the mess this paint party would likely create.

Billie arranged the paint and brushes. She had a bottle for every color of the rainbow. I gave her a roll of paper towels in case she needed it, and she had me throw an old zip-up hoodie over Saylor so we didn’t get any paint on her dress.

“What do you want me to turn you into, Saylor?”

Saylor spun around. “I don’t know!”

“I can make you a butterfly princess, a unicorn—anything you want.”

My daughter scrunched her nose for a moment, then yelled, “A tiger!”

Billie’s eyes widened. “A tiger? And here I was thinking you were a girly girl. You’re more my speed, apparently. Because I would have totally picked something like a tiger! In fact, I almost once got a tiger skin tattoo.”

For the next hour, I sat and watched as Billie painted Saylor’s face. I guess I was used to Saylor being in control of the paint, because the mess I was expecting didn’t materialize with Billie in charge. She was meticulous as she painted the tiger face onto my daughter. It was a joy to watch, between Saylor’s anticipatory excitement and Billie’s adorable look of concentration. She did this thing where she slid her tongue slowly back and forth across her lower lip when she was focusing.

It took a full hour before she was done. But in the end, my daughter looked like something out of the Broadway show Cats. Billie had done an amazing job, and Saylor was over the moon. Billie had taken a rainy afternoon and turned it into gold. I hoped Saylor would always remember this day.

Saylor wanted to FaceTime with my mother to show off her new look, so I set up the laptop in the kitchen. Saylor was busy talking to her grandmother when I walked over to Billie in the living room. “Why did you have all this paint at the ready downstairs anyway? I didn’t think body painting was a service the shop provided.”

She wiped off one of the brushes. “It’s not. But I once threw a bodypainting party for one of my girlfriends as part of her bachelorette party. We closed the shop and had it there.”

“So, like, you painted each other?”

“Yup…naked.”

I gulped. “Naked.”

“Yup. Naked.” She laughed.

“Were there men at this party?” I had to ask.

“Are you gonna get all jealous if I tell you there were?”

“Me?” I snorted. “Jealous?”

She chuckled. “It was just us girls, actually.”

That brought me relief. Always the jealous bastard. I scratched my chin. “Would you…happen to have any pictures of this event? Not interested in seeing anyone else. Just you.”

“Yeah. Actually, I do. Lots of them. On my phone.”

“Really. And, uh, what does one have to do to get the opportunity to view such photos?”

“They’re not for public consumption.”

“I’m not the public, though. I’m a friend. You got naked in front of your friends, right?”

Saylor popped off her phone call with my mother and ran into the living room, interrupting our conversation.

“Is Grandma still online?” I asked.

She shook her head.

Billie took out her phone. “You wanna take some pictures, Saylor?”

I held out my hand and winked. “I’ll be happy to take your phone and snap them.”

“You won’t be going anywhere near my phone, Lennon.”

I loved messing with her. I hoped she knew I was kidding about the naked photos. Okay, maybe I’m not. I definitely want to see them.

Billie spent the next several minutes taking photo after photo of Saylor and her tiger face. My daughter insisted on changing in and out of several of her dresses for this photo shoot. It was adorable to watch. I also couldn’t ignore the fact that Billie seemed so comfortable around Saylor. My kid was generally an easy sell, but not everyone had this kind of spark with my daughter. It took patience to keep up with her—patience that sometimes even the most well-intentioned people didn’t have. Billie might not have been sure she wanted kids, but she was a natural.

After their photoshoot ended, I asked, “Who wants dessert?”

“Me!” Saylor yelled.

“I made brownies.”

Billie arched a brow. “Oooh…spinach brownies?”

“Shh…” I winked. “Yeah.”

“She still doesn’t know?” Billie whispered.

“Nope.” I laughed. “That’s the beauty of it.”

“Whoops.”

Billie and Saylor each noshed on one of my brownies while I sat back with a beer and kicked up my feet.

Billie ended up hanging out with us all afternoon. Since we were still pretty full from lunch, I cut up some fruit and cheese and got out crackers as a light dinner.

After we ate, Billie gave me yet another surprise.

“Saylor, why don’t you go pick out your jammies?” she suggested. “I’ll help you get all this paint washed off. I have a special soap for it.”

With Saylor out of the room, Billie sauntered over to me. “You wanna know something, Colby Lennon?”

“What?”

“You are such a great father. I hope you know that. I’ve watched you all day, and you don’t miss a beat with her. She’s very lucky to have you.”

“Why, thank you. I appreciate the kind words, beautiful.”

“And you know what else I think?”

I caressed her cheek. “What?”

“I think you deserve some daddy alone time. Self-care.”

“I don’t need to be alone when you’re around.”

“I think you’ll prefer this alone time.”

I narrowed my eyes. “What are you up to?”

She whispered in my ear, “I’ll handle getting Saylor ready for bed. You stay here and relax.”

Billie walked over to the refrigerator, grabbed another beer, and popped it open before handing it to me. She then took out her phone and scrolled through her photos.

After a moment, she handed it to me. “When I went to the bathroom earlier, I created a special album just for you. Enjoy.”

Then she ran off with Saylor, leaving me alone.

My heart pounded as I looked down to find photo after photo of Billie’s stark-naked body, painted in a mixture of red, white, and blue. Everything, and I mean everything, was visible. Her tits, her nipples…and my eyes moved farther south. Damn. Damn. Damn. My pants grew snug.

Her body was just as gorgeous as I’d imagined it, although with all of the paint covering her, I still had the urge to see her bare skin. But this was a huge gift. One I certainly didn’t think I’d be receiving tonight.

Fuck. Me. How was I supposed to sleep with these images in my head?

I was tempted to text them to myself, but I wouldn’t do that without her permission. I’d definitely be asking for it, though.

Wow, Billie. You are so goddamn beautiful. My gawking was interrupted by the sound of giggling coming from down the hall. I’d been so into looking at Billie’s naked body that I’d been missing out on the fact that Billie and Saylor were having a blast together.

I walked down the hall and peeked into the bathroom. The tub was full of suds, and Saylor’s face was already tiger-free.

Billie turned to me. “What are you doing in here? I thought I told you to relax.”

“Relax? I think you were trying to rev me up.”

Saylor slapped her hands against the water, causing a big dollop of suds to land on Billie’s head. I tried to ignore the pang of longing in my chest. Because as awesome as it was to witness Billie bonding with my daughter, I realized there was a huge difference between one day of fun and a lifetime of responsibility. Billie’s hesitation with me all this time proved that.

“Alright. Heading back to my relaxation den. You sure you have everything you need?”

“Yup. Got it covered. Found the towels and everything.”

I sat back down in the living room, but to my dismay, Billie’s phone screen had locked, so I couldn’t look at the images again since I didn’t know her password. So, I experienced the withdrawal that went along with that and finished off my beer listening to the sounds of laughter coming from down the hall. I realized it was the first time I’d ever heard such a thing, the first time this apartment had been so full of life. Billie was still here, and I was already starting to miss the feeling.

Saylor came running out to me in her pajamas. “All clean, Daddy!”

I lifted her onto my lap. “I don’t know how Billie managed to get every bit of that makeup off. There was so much of it.”

“Yeah, it wasn’t easy,” Billie said. “But it was worth the work.”

I looked up at her. “I’m finding a lot of things are like that.”

She blushed.

We got Saylor in bed, and when she asked Billie to read her a bedtime story, my first inclination was to intervene and suggest Billie was probably tired. As fun as today had been, a part of me also worried about Saylor becoming attached to Billie. But then I remembered how strong my little girl was. We would deal if I ever had to tell her Billie wouldn’t be coming around anymore someday. For now, she should get to enjoy the moment with her new friend.

After about twenty minutes, Billie emerged from Saylor’s room.

I patted the spot next to me on the couch. “C’mere. I won’t bite. I promise.”

“Who says I’d be opposed to that?” She raised an eyebrow.

“Be careful when you say things like that.”

She sat down next to me. “Did you enjoy the photos?”

“Yeah. Until your phone locked me out when I got up to check on things in the bathroom.”

She snickered. “Why didn’t you say something?”

“Say what? ‘I’m sorry to interrupt your bonding time with my daughter, but can you unlock your phone screen so I can continue getting off on your naked body?’”

She chuckled and slapped my knee. “What did you think of the photos?”

“What did I think?” I sighed. “I think I might not sleep tonight because I’ll be replaying those images in my head. I think I’m even more screwed than I was before. And I think I’d give my left nut to paint your body right now.”

She got up and went over to the table where the paints were still lined up. My eyes widened. At first, I thought maybe she was going to grant me my wish and let me paint her, but that was probably dumb, given that Saylor wasn’t even asleep yet.

“Take off your shirt,” she said.

“Are you gonna paint me? Wait—is this just an excuse to see me shirtless?”

“Well, an eye for an eye, right?”

“You don’t have to ask me twice,” I said, slipping my shirt over my head.

She laughed. “Lie back and relax.”

For the next few minutes, I did just that—closed my eyes while Billie painted something up by my neck. Even when I opened my eyes to look at her beautiful face and the way her tongue slid across her lip when she concentrated, I couldn’t make out the design.

“There. All done. Perfect,” she said.

“Should I be afraid to look?”

“I think you’re gonna like it.”

I walked over to the mirror, and my jaw dropped. Billie had painted a white collar and black bow tie on my neck. I looked like one of those Chippendale’s dancers—or something straight out of Magic Mike.

“You turned me into a male stripper.”

“I might have played off a little fantasy of mine.”

“To see me strip? Because that can be arranged.”

“I figured you’d say that. But I’d never exploit you in such a way.”

“You don’t know by now that I want to be exploited by you?”

She smiled. “You’re crazy, Colby.”

“Crazy for you, yeah.” I sat back down next to her. “Today was…amazing. Truly. Thank you for everything—for winging it with me on a rainy day, for bringing my daughter joy, for letting me look at your beautiful body.”

After a long moment of silence, she asked, “Do you think she’s asleep by now?”

“Probably. But I’ll check.”

I figured there was a reason she was asking me that, and let’s just say, I was intrigued. I got up to peek in on my daughter, who was indeed out like a light, as I’d suspected she would be, given the exciting day she’d had.

“Would you like to paint something on me? On my chest?” Billie asked when I returned to the couch.

Adrenaline rushed through me. But even though I wanted to leap out of my seat and rush toward the paints, I kept calm. I cleared my throat. “I might be interested in that, yeah.”

She chuckled and collected the paints before taking my hand and dragging me to my bedroom. I locked the door.

The mood turned serious as she started to undo her corset. It felt like my heart was about to leap out of my chest. And my dick was about to leap out of my pants.

Billie stopped. “Actually, can you find me a hoodie or something in case she wakes up and I have to cover myself?”

“Yeah, of course.” Filled with anticipation, I found a black hoodie in my closet. “Here you go.”

“Thanks.” She loosened the ties at the back of her corset before removing it. Her beautiful, round boobs popped out, and I couldn’t believe this was actually happening. She pulled on my hoodie, leaving it open at the front.

I grew completely hard as I stared at her gorgeous breasts, milky skin with mauve nipples. “I hope you don’t mind me looking at you for a moment.”

“No.”

“You’re so beautiful,” I murmured. I wanted to touch her but wasn’t about to assume that was okay. Instead, I grabbed the black and white paints she’d used to make my bow tie. “Anything in particular you’d like me to paint on you?” I asked.

“No. I’d like to see what you come up with.”

Great. This is going to be a disaster.

As I continued to stare at her beautiful tits, only one thing came to mind. I couldn’t see anything else. And all I could think was…she’s going to hate it.

But I proceeded to do it anyway. “You can’t look down until I’m done, okay?”

“That’s fair.” She smiled.

Billie lay back as I carefully began creating my masterful artwork. Considering I had the artistic talent of a five-year-old, she had a lot to look forward to. I figured I would spare her and only paint one of her breasts. I’d decided on the left.

I enjoyed every second of brushing over her skin with the white paint, taking longer than I probably should’ve because I wasn’t sure if I’d get this opportunity again. After her whole breast was covered, I opened the black ink to finish the details of my design. My erection wouldn’t let up, and I hoped she’d understand that I had no control over it if she looked down and noticed how aroused I was.

My amateur design work didn’t take all that long, and when I finished, all I could think to say was, “Don’t kill me.”

Her cheeks reddened. “What did you do?”

“Go look.”

Billie got up, walked over to the mirror, and her mouth dropped. “You did not just turn my boob into Snoopy!”

I’d painted her nipple black to form Snoopy’s nose along with two black slits above it for his eyes. Along the sides I painted black ears. It wasn’t a masterpiece, but I felt like I’d pulled it off.

“It was the only thing I could think of.”

She started to crack up. Her boobs shook in the mirror, and it looked like Snoopy was cracking up, too. “Colby Lennon, you are insane. But I love it.”

“Yeah?”

She walked over and wrapped her arms around my neck. Our eyes locked, and this time it was me who couldn’t help making the first move. I leaned in and took her lips with mine, feeling the entire day of pent-up frustration come barreling out as I exhaled into her mouth. Our tongues collided, and it was every bit as amazing as the first time. I couldn’t wait to get inside of this woman, even if it took me forever to get there.

She pulled back, panting. This was the moment she normally stopped things, before they went too far. And that was probably a good thing, because any longer and I would’ve leaned down to take Snoopy’s nose into my mouth.

“I’d better get going,” she said.

Right on cue. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I think today was fun overload, and we need to pace ourselves.”

“Okay, sweetheart. Whatever you want.” I took out my phone and called her a car.

“I don’t want to get paint on my corset. Is it okay if I borrow this hoodie?”

“Of course. Keep the damn thing if you want. Better yet, bring it back the next time you let me paint you.”

“I’m afraid of what you’d paint next.”

“I already have a great idea for the yellow paint.”

“Let me guess. Woodstock?”

“Not telling.” I winked. “I don’t want to ruin it.”

“Say goodbye to Snoopy,” she said as she zipped up my hoodie, covering her breasts.

“Damn. I’m gonna miss him.”

We both laughed as we left my room and walked to the door. I looped my arm around her waist and brought her into me one last time, savoring every second of her delicious mouth on mine.

“I love the way you taste.”

She moaned over my mouth before stepping back. “The car’s waiting. I’d better go.”

As I watched her walk down the hall, I called, “Hey, I got a story idea for the next time you read to Saylor.”

“What is it?”

“Snoopy and the Chippendale.”

She shook her head and kept on walking.