The Purge

“Strange how we decorate pain.”

Margaret Atwood

Things would have been better if Conleth was around. Bri was bitching like a boss thinking it wasn’t so obvious that she was very affected by her own decisions. Now we are all screwed up. I was beginning to count the days of my breathing savoring every sense I have before I officially close my eyes and never open them forever. Maybe this is Con’s disease: The Bri Tyranica Syndrome. She’ll be the death of us all.

The more we dive into death shore of the Inception the more we become reckless just like our commander. She keeps on walking around like a zombie feeling so numb about the world. But then again, it’s so obvious that she wants Conleth back only that she won’t admit it to herself. Damn. Her stubbornness can sometimes be a bad habit. I tried talking to her but I don’t really know how to approach her. I don’t know what to talk to her about. I don’t know how to comfort her. She’s Bri Tyranica after all. It’s hard to break someone like her. While everybody falls for her beauty, she waits for the one who will fall in love with her scars.

Maybe… Conleth can. If she would only let him.

The first thing I felt when I woke up from the Inception Trials was the unquenchable thirst I’ve felt. It was like when I swallow, I felt dust running down my throat. It was very hard to think and the heat was melting my energy down with me. What even terrified me even more was the sand. It moved like sea wave carrying everything with it. Every second, every wave the location changes. It was hard for me to hold on to anything. When things had calmed down, it was then things became more complicated. Sanguinarians started to attack us from everywhere. They molded with the sand like it was a portal. It confused me to think that I didn’t even feel the nausea coming. The adrenaline though was so intense that all I could think and all I could feel was panic. I wanted to save myself but I was drowned in the sea of sand.

I saw Rafa coming towards me from the wave. A Sanguinarian materialized behind him. I tried to reach out to him but it was too late.

“Hold on, Hal—”

The beast had got its sharp sword-like arms into his skin. Its pointy end made its exit on his mouth. It took every inch of me not to shout. But more Sanguinarians came and I squeezed my eyes shut and waited for that final moment in my life where I won’t be able to open my eyes anymore.

But I did.

And when I did, I wished I never would have woken up.

“Before you tell me what I did wrong, you should first know that I don’t care.” I told Bri when I felt her dark presence lurking behind me. Who else wouldn’t know that her anger was aimed towards me when she clearly slammed the door shut and her footsteps thundered towards my direction. I could even imagine her scowling at me with her hands on her hips.

“If you’re planning to commit suicide, next time don’t involve your teammates.” She said in a forcefully nice way.

“If you’re planning to commit suicide after giving up your boyfriend, don’t involve us.” I snapped back without turning to her.

“I think you forgot who you’re talking to, soldier.”

I scoffed and whipped around to face her. “Oh, trust me, commander, I know who exactly I’m talking to.” And with that, I saw her vulnerability. Her eyes were red at the brim like she had been crying a while ago. She looked so shattered that I almost forgot that I was mad at her.

“Not everyone thinks like you, Halley. You have to understand that I make sacrifices every time I make decisions. It’s not that easy.”

“If only you’ve let me save Rafa he would have been here!”

“So that’s a big issue now?”

“Bullshit, Bri! You know what I can do! You know I can save him!”

“He is dead, Halley. What’s the point of resurrecting him? You’re not a god! Rules cannot be bent! Be reasonable!”

“Reasonable? Addonexus don’t die! You said it yourself!”

“Some things have to stay the way they are.”

“Rafa’s human, Bri. He’s not a thing! If that was Conleth you would have let him live!”

She narrowed her eyes at me. “This is not about me, Halley. If you can’t abide in my rule or if you can’t so much understand my decisions then the door is open if you want to leave.”

Anger flooded into my veins that the madness in me got me shaking before I could even control myself.

“It wasn’t Conleth’s fault! You know it!”

“Don’t start, Halley.” She said through gritted teeth. But I was burning mad that I thought I was going to explode.

“You love Conleth and Fygun died for it! It’s all your fault!”

“Shut up, Halley!” Bri yelled.

And that’s when I found myself flying in the air before I hit the metal wall. Strong arms wrapped around me as soon as I landed on the ground. I looked up to find Athren holding both of my arms, pulling me up. I removed Athren’s hands from me and I ignored the hot tears falling down my cheeks.

“What the hell are you waiting for? Go ahead! Transfer me! Do it like what you did to Conleth!” I shouted at her. “That’s where you’re good at anyway, pushing people away!”

I wiped away my teas and I ran out of the Wyvern Headquarters.

I know I’ve made mistakes in my life. I’ve already made people take advantage of me. I forfeited mostly everything to the point I accepted way less than I deserve. But now I’ve learned from the bad choices that I have made. Even though there are some things I can never get back and people who will never be sorry, I’ll know better and I won’t settle for anything less than I deserve next time.