The Pucking Wrong Date: A Hockey Romance (The Pucking Wrong Series Book 3)

“Disney’s in the house,” Ari whooped as I strolled into the Dallas bar. I’d just signed a record breaking contract as a goalie with Dallas, and tonight…we were celebrating. I was also breaking some very important news to the “circle of trust.” And in my humble opinion, one of them was much more exciting than the other.

Although I was really fucking excited about finally being a Dallas Knight.

Ari held up a glass, a sheen to his gaze that told me he and Linc had already thrown a few back. He’d signed with Dallas a week before, also a very nice contract, and I could practically taste the beer I was going to drink from the Stanley Cup when we won it this year.

They had their phones out, and as I passed behind them to head to the empty seat at the table, I saw they were both watching video footage of Blake and Monroe hanging out in Lincoln’s living room.

“Are you guys stalking your wives right now?” I drawled, nodding at the waitress who’d popped up by the table like she’d been waiting with bated breath to get me whatever I needed.

Judging by the way she was looking at me, that was probably the offer on the table.

“Is that a real question, Disney?” Ari answered, a small smile on his face from whatever he was seeing.

“Whatever they’re having,” I told the waitress dismissively, wishing I had my own camera on Olivia.

I’d been following her every day, living for the small glimpses I got when she went to therapy…basically the only place she ever went. Unless she was going out at night—which I didn’t think she was—since I’d also spent two nights outside her place…to make sure.

The waitress came back with my beer and some chips, queso, and wings.

I fucking loved Texas. And since Olivia had said she was originally from here, I was positive I could get her to love it too.

“Blake’s sitting too close to Monroe,” Lincoln grumbled suddenly, his gaze still locked on his screen. It was the closest thing to whining that I’d ever heard out of the glorious god.

“They’re watching a movie,” snorted Ari, giving him a dramatic eye roll. “They’re just keeping warm.”

“That’s where we watch movies. I don’t like it.”

“Golden Boy, are you jealous of my wife right now? Because I promise, she’s all about the dick. Correction—she’s all about my dick.”

Linc rolled his eyes. “I’m just saying.”

My phone buzzed and I glanced down to see that my group chat with my brothers was picking up steam.

Cole: Hell yeah my baby brother just signed a contract for seventy million fucking dollars!

Parker: Show us your ways, Disney.

I rolled my eyes.

Me: I hate you.

Cole: Why aren’t you drunk yet, Walkie-poo? This kind of news deserves alcohol.

Correction, I hated both of them.

Me: I’m working on it.

Parker: Good boy.

“I have some big news,” I told Ari and Linc, leaning over to grab a few wings.

“Give it to us, Disney,” Ari said in a muffled voice as he stuffed some chips and queso in his mouth.

Lincoln went for a chip and Ari stabbed him with a fork. “I ordered all of this for myself. I’ve got months to make up for.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that?” he snarled, going to dip his chip again.

“I will stab you again. And then you won’t be able to hold your stick. Of any kind.”

“Monroe will hold my stick,” Lincoln said cockily, and Ari mimed throwing up.

“I’m going to be a daddy,” I announced, taking the chance to get my own queso covered chip as they both stared at me with slow blinks and gaping mouths that reminded me of a frog’s.

Ari made a choking sound, coughing dramatically like he was fucking dying. “Sorry. What was that? Are we talking about sex kinks right now? Because I need to prepare myself before I think about some puck bunny calling you “daddy.” Or are you and golden boy doing some reverse role play…because I was sure you’d be the one calling him ‘Daddy.’”

Lincoln also took advantage of Ari’s hysterics to dip his chip in the queso.

“No, I mean a real dad,” I grinned, thinking of Olivia.

“Okay…Walker. And are you adopting? Because I haven’t seen any ladies around, and I know you were taught better than to not double wrap when it comes to those stage five clingers,” Ari said, continuing to sound very concerned about this news.

“It’s a new thing. But you’ll meet her soon,” I said, munching on another chip.

Lincoln winked at me and dipped again, Ari seeming to have completely forgotten about his queso obsession in the face of my news.

“So you got a one night stand pregnant?” he asked slowly, still very confused.

“Naw. She’s the love of my life.” It was the very first time that I was saying it out loud. And I fucking loved it. It felt right.

Even if she had forgotten that I existed.

Lincoln and Ari side-eyed each other, grins sneaking on their faces.

“What’s her name? Is she excited about the baby?” Lincoln asked as he went in for more queso. Ari had woken up from his temporary daze though, and he smacked his hand right before he got in there with his chip.

I thought about his question. Excited was probably not the right word for what Olivia was feeling at the moment.

But I was hoping I could change her mind.

Yes, I’d poked the condom a million times to make sure my swimmers got in there, but the idea had really taken root when I saw an interview she’d done with Diane Klossrud, a fucking genius at getting things out of even the most difficult subjects.

The interview would have taken place about a year before the conservatorship had kicked in, when she was still performing. Diane had asked Olivia what she wanted for the future, I’m sure expecting something like “winning a million Grammy’s, or touring every country,” or something else like that. Instead, Olivia had said, “I want to have a family someday.”

Believe me, the statement had surprised me as much as it had surprised Diane.

“She will be excited,” I finally announced to Lincoln and Ari as I snagged some more queso and started snacking on it.

They stared at me like I’d said something crazy, so I decided to just give it all to them…“When she finds out…”

We were drunk.

More than drunk. We were wasted.

“If you love this girl, you have to pwooove it,” Lincoln was explaining, waving his hands around in the air.

I studied his hand movements, wondering if there was like a secret message in them or something.

“How do I do that?” I slurred, blinking a few times so I could stop seeing double of him. I could barely speak right in front of one of him, I couldn’t handle two of Lincoln Daniels.

“Disney, you little simp,” Ari said loudly, throwing a shot back. I frowned, because that was my shot.

“Oh fuck,” I whispered as the room spun.

“Walker,” Ari whisper-yelled. “They’ve just started playing our song!”

“What song?” Lincoln asked, throwing back the shot that the waitress had just given him.

“It’s Tay-Tay!” Ari announced, jumping from his stool and doing some kind of weird hip thrust thing.

“You look ridiculous,” slurred Lincoln.

“I call this the Blake WallBanger.” Ari almost fell over as he started laughing like he’d said something hilarious.

I realized finally what he’d just said. “It is Tay-Tay!” I said, my voice coming out really high-pitched. “I’m going to do it. I’m going to dance on the fucking table. She deserves it,” I told them, and they both nodded seriously, like I’d had the best idea of all time.

I kneed up on my chair and then crawled onto the table, my unsteady legs carrying me like they were guided by some unseen force.

Players gonna play, play, play, I hummed as I struggled to my feet.

“Shit, that’s good,” said Ari, and I glanced over to see him doing this weird spin move that made me dizzy. Lincoln was bobbing his head, unable to withstand the force of the infectious beat as I finally got to my feet, the table swaying underneath me.

The chorus was about to hit, fuck yes.

I threw my hands in the air, swaying my hips as plates and glasses clanged together on the table as I moved.

“Disney! Disney! Disney!” Ari chanted, pointing at Lincoln as he sang along.

“Sir. Sir!” the waitress called. “Sir, can you come down, please?”

“I love Olivia,” I told her. “This dick is hers.”

“Uhhh,” she said, her gaze dipping to my dick. I made a slicing motion in front of it.

“That’s not yours.”

She got all red for some reason. “Sir, can you please come down.”

Whoops, I thought as the table started to tip and I fell forward onto…

Lincoln Fucking Daniels.

“My hero,” I wheezed as I started to laugh hysterically about the fact that I’d fallen into Lincoln’s lap.

He was even more golden up close.

“That’s it. I’m a motherfucking genius. Without the mother part though,” Ari added seriously, leaning between us like it wasn’t odd at all that I was sitting in Lincoln’s lap.

Lincoln pushed me off and I fell to the floor with a plop. I collapsed backwards in hysterical sounding laughter.

“Listen, Linda,” Ari said, leaning over me, and not looking confused at all why he was talking to me on the floor of a bar.

“Who’s Linda?”

“It’s a YouTube thing,” Lincoln called, frowning as he started typing on his phone.

A second later he held up a video of this cute little kid talking to his mom. I moved my hand and felt something sticky.

Oh, I was still on the floor.

Ari heaved me up and I staggered, thinking maybe I should get some water or something.

“He has to prove that he loves her,” Ari said, his hand cupping the front of his jeans for some reason. “And there’s only one way to do that.”

Lincoln nodded seriously, and I perked up because if Lincoln said it was the only way, I had to do it.

“What’s the way?”

“Let’s go,” Ari slurred, pulling on my arm and starting to heave me towards the door. “It’s the only way.”

I threw my arms up in the air as we burst through the door into the humid night air. “Where are we going?”

Lincoln slung an arm around my shoulder and I froze while Ari fiddled with the Uber app. “The only way to prove it,” he said, his voice pitched low, “is through…your dick.”

I stared at him, completely confused as the Uber pulled up. “I can’t really do that right now,” I tried to explain as I got into the car. “My dick tried to prove it, and she still left.”

The driver gave me a weird look. “It’s a dick thing,” Ari told him. “You understand.”

“Stupid fools,” the driver muttered under his breath as we pulled away from the bar. “Inked on Main Street. Let me guess, you guys decided to get matching tattoos.”

I gave Lincoln the side-eye. “Why are we going to a tattoo parlor?”

Ari patted my shoulder. “Don’t worry about it. It’s what must be done, young padawan.”

Lincoln snorted. “I thought it was young grasshopper.”

“Stars Wars seemed more Disney-ish.”

“True,” Lincoln replied, pulling up a video of Monroe on his phone. She was passed out on the couch and Blake was stretched out on another couch, the TV still playing a movie.

The car stopped in front of a place called Inked, which was clearly a tattoo parlor, even if the name didn’t give it away.

“Does this mean I’m in the ‘Circle of Trust’?” I asked hopefully as I hopped out of the car. “Because matching tattoos seems like a ‘Circle of Trust’ kind of thing for sure.”

I started to fall over as I stood on the sidewalk because the neon lights were making me all sorts of dizzy. That last shot was definitely not a good idea.

“Just trust us. It will only hurt for a few weeks. A month max,” said Lincoln as he opened the door to the shop.

“A month max?” I asked, horrified. “What kind of tattoo are we getting?”

“I actually think it will be a few months, but it should be healed by the start of the season.”

“What the fuck,” I muttered as I followed Ari and Lincoln to the front desk, the bright lights spinning and swirling as I dazedly stared at them.

“Yes, we’re here for a dick tattoo,” said Lincoln to the goth looking girl with tattoos swirling up her cheeks and huge gauges in her ears big enough to fit a ping pong ball through.

Wait a second. I stared at him incredulously. Had he just said a “dick tattoo?”

“Or a dick piercing,” added Ari, doing a weird little dance shuffle to whatever techno song was blaring.

“A dick piercing,” I murmured, staring at the two of them and wondering if I was having a drunk dream right now.

Because everyone knew drunk dreams were ten times more intense than regular dreams.

That’s what was definitely happening.

I told myself that as we were led to a back room.

I told myself that as I sat in the padded chair.

And I told myself that as Lincoln and Ari discussed options with the tattoo artist, who was nodding seriously like everything they were saying made perfect sense.

“Disney, just take deep breaths. We’ll be sitting over there,” Ari said happily, patting my shoulder as he pointed to some chairs facing the opposite direction.

“Can you pull down your pants and I’ll sanitize the area,” the guy said.

And that’s when I started to stare at him in horror.

Because I was pretty sure this wasn’t a dream.

“Don’t worry. I did Lincoln’s. It’s going to be perfect.” He waggled his eyebrows. “And rumor is his wife lovvvvves it.”

“Don’t talk about my wife, Dave,” Lincoln called, giving him the side eye while I tried to wrap my drunk as fuck brain about what was happening.

“Walker, just do as he says,” Ari told me, popping some M&Ms in his mouth he’d gotten from who knows where.

I could use some M&Ms at the moment.

Dave laughed at me, like he thought I was joking. “Don’t worry. I use lots of numbing cream,” he told me. “It won’t hurt until tomorrow.”

“I don’t want to be in the ‘Circle of Trust,’” I called out as I somehow found myself unzipping my jeans.

“Holy hell, that’s a big guy,” Dave said with wide-eyes.

“Stop looking at it!” I hissed.

“It’s a dick tattoo. He kind of has to look at it,” drawled Lincoln, sipping from the beer he’d somehow gotten hold of.

“I object!” I screeched, but they all laughed at me, like I’d said something funny.

“Here, dude, have a hit. You need to calm the fuck down,” Dave muttered, offering me a bong he’d pulled from who the fuck knows where. I inhaled and then inhaled again–forgetting why I didn’t like being high.

I clearly needed it for this.

“She’s going to love it!” called out Ari.

“True love hurts, Walk,” added Lincoln as he watched the weather report on the tv on the wall like it was the most fascinating thing he’d ever seen.

That may have been the truest thing I’d ever heard.

The buzz of the tattoo gun filled the air…and that’s about when I blacked out.