SWNOVELS Chapter 21
A Ghaoil - love (a gh-ool) term of endearment
Keep your friends close...
Chapter 21
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I followed Gerlac around with chattering teeth and a scowl that turned to a smile every time he turned grey eyes my way. Hati thought working with my mentor would distract me from yesterday’s events, but the male was smart and knew something had happened when I went to find his female. It also didn’t help that I knew Hati, Gerlac, and Ingrid would be meeting to discuss the agreement that had been made between them. I still feared, even though he was Alpha, Hati wouldn’t be able to get out of it without causing strife the pack didn’t need.
“Gerlac won’t do anything to hurt his position in the pack,” he’d promised me once we’d dressed, cupping my face in his hands, his thumb pulling my lip from between fretting teeth. “After everything he saw with his own eyes yesterday, and even Ingrid no longer wishing to go through with it, there's little he can do.”
I hadn’t argued further with him. Had accepted his kiss, moaned as he nipped at my jaw, and then grown disappointed when I heard what he had planned for me today. While he looked into his brother’s claim of having spies, I was stuck with Gerlac pretending I knew nothing at all of conspiracy or spies. Eventually the matter would be brought before the council, but not until Hati was sure each member was innocent; unless we could come up with a way to catch the perpetrator out.
Right now, including Gerlac, the entire pack was under suspicion, bar a minute few.
So my mood was not the best as I stomped my way towards the dens outside the castle walls to try and keep my feet from freezing. The new boots Hati had insisted I wear for outdoor excursions in skin were heavy and clumpy, and I found myself tripping often. Begrudgingly, I admitted to myself I should have allowed him to put the new cloak around my shoulders too, one trimmed with fur and certain to be warm, but I let my ego get in the way.
A gaggle of pups trailed in our wake, all in fur and rolling around in the snow with little care of the cold. They pounced on the footprints we left as if they were prey because I’d made it clear the length of my dress was not for catching. Niamh and Anndra were the only two brave enough to risk an adult wolf’s ire by nipping at the wet length of blue fabric - more dark navy now thanks to being wet - dragging behind me in the ankle deep snow.
Gerlac probably disapproved of their games, but even he couldn’t deny letting the youngsters practice their hunting skills instead of running amuck inside. They were a nice distraction. Their youthful ignorance to what was happening in the world was enviable, as was their happy yips and barks, playful growls filling the air as they stopped to tousle and figure out the hierarchy amongst themselves.
“Such a racket,” Gerlac grumbled, pausing to look over a scroll scratched with symbols that made up words I couldn’t read. “I won’t be able to hear what repairs need done, and they’ll cause chaos getting under everyone’s feet while we’re trying to make homes watertight.”
“They’re not that bad. One real growl, and they’ll know not to get in the way.”
He hummed, eyeing them again before making his way over to a nearby den built of wood and animal hide. It didn’t look very stable, but it was still more than I had been used to. Now I saw it for how flimsy it was, how little it would do to protect the family living there from the coming storms.
Wolves were gathered around a nearby wooden table. The surface was covered in tools; hammers, saws and other implements unknown to me, alongside parchment of rough drawn diagrams etched in smudged charcoal. Piles of wood, long worked planks and buckets of nails lay about their feet, and I could smell the hot burn of the forge being heated for the days work.
On the other side wolves worked hiding pelts and tanning leather, and if I closed my eyes I could swear I heard the familiar waulking songs from back home.
Heads close together, the group we headed for were deep in discussion as we approached, and I wondered exactly how my mentor thought I could help with any of this.
“How goes it, Brokkr?” he called out, tucking his writing under an arm to hold the other out in greeting.
The group turned around, bowing their heads in greeting to which we reciprocated, a few eyes lingering on me. A shorter male stepped forward to grip Gerlac’s arm, but his short stature didn’t diminish from his aura or size. Strong hands rough and blackened from forge work, arms like tree trunks that spoke of time wielding heavy tools, a heavy leather apron worn and scuffed with use hung over his neck.
“The snow is hindering us, and frozen wood doesn’t like to be worked with.” Brokkr’s heavy brow furrowed further as dark brown eyes studied the other dens lining the road; many with no proper roofs, or missing walls covered with blankets and more hides.
They needed proper wood and doors, enough to hold out until damaged rooms in the castle could be made fit for use in the summer.
I sighed. Such things felt so mundane now. What did it matter if we made it through winter, which Hati believed would keep Skoll and Blood Drinkers alike at bay, if come spring, we were no closer to understanding my part in what was to come. Especially as our enemy seemed to know exactly what or who I was.
All night Hati and I had gone over every nuance of my gifts, what they could mean, what else I might be able to do, how that would help. We’d found out so much and yet barely scratched the surface. Unfortunately, I had the feeling the only person who knew the particulars and might be willing to tell us, was the last person Hati would ever let me near.
Not that I wanted to have another interaction with Skoll. . .or did I?
“I think it’s time we move those with pups into the castle.” Brokkr slapped the shoulder of a sturdy male who appeared around my own age and cracked a grin. “Let the young and hardy bear the winter out here, it will help them build character.”
The younger male grimaced. “It is too cold already.”
Gerlac scoffed and made me jump when his hand came down on my shoulder in turn, shoving me forward. “Do you think Nomads spend their winters with the luxury of huts and fires? How did your pack survive the winters, Eabha.”
At first, I wanted to tell him he was being hypocritical as he’d probably spent his winters in a grand building of stone before coming here, but instead I smirked and folded my arms, deciding it could be fun to play along.
“Sometimes we would walk for weeks searching for prey in snowdrifts so deep, one wrong step would see you sinking below. To stay still for a moment would be to freeze, and only thoughts of fires kept us warm through The Dark Month into the Month of the Wolf.”
The male blinked and eyed his father, before snorting and lifting himself taller, daring to stare me down. “Even with small pups? I don’t believe you.”
“The pups stay in burrows or caves while we hunt, each grown wolf taking a turn to watch them and rest, but we move on every couple of weeks, sometimes is little as a few days. They are pups, but they can forge their way through winds as well as any adult. I could spend a night out here in fur happily enough.”
“There, Bruadar,” Brokkr winked at me before looking up at his son. “A challenge for you. Why don’t you let your Aunt Bruna and her pups take the room you share with your friends, and you can all help see that her den is fit to keep the winds and snow out when you take it. Motivation to do a good job I think, eh?”
Bruadar lowered his dark gaze slowly and huffed an agreement. There. One young family sorted.
Glancing at Gerlac, I swore I saw a smile and perhaps even a glimmer of approval aimed my way before it turned back to his stony glare. His hand fell from my shoulder and he stepped forward to catalogue all the tools and equipment so we knew what we would need from the last ship to come to port this late in the year.
Allowing him to do his work, I turned round to keep an eye on the pups, but became aware of someone coming up behind me.
“Did you really spend winters in the wild?”
My lips curled and I nodded, sidestepping to get a better look at Bruadar. He was of average height and build, with a scruffy mop of mud brown hair and eyes a shade darker. His accent was on add twang of many different countries, making it impossible to guess where he had been born. His father was from these lands, but his male’s name was of Cuimrigh, a country south of Alba, which made me wonder if his mother, or a recent ancestor, could possibly be kin.
“I did. In the heart of storms, we would normally hole up for a few days but other than that. . .”
He looked impressed. To me it was nothing more than survival. Spending winter out here would teach these wolves quickly.
“No wonder Ingrid fell so quickly,” he mused, adding quickly when I frowned, “She says she holds no ill will towards you. I’ve never known her to change her mind about something so quickly.”
I hummed, suddenly unsure what to make of him. “You’re friends with Ingrid.”
“I am.” He grinned and winked. “Don’t hold it against me.”
“Don’t let Alpha Hati see you look at her like that,” a softer voice broke in, both Bruadar and I turning towards the castle to see Linnea smiling shyly up at us. Her hair was braided in the same style as Ingrid’s usually was, and her dress was of a bright wildflower orange that brought out glimmers of blonde in her mousy hair.
Bruadar snorted at her. “Like I would be so foolish as to make eyes at her. Alpha Hati isn’t afraid to cuff the back of the head of us older wolves.”
I nearly choked. Beta Caldar had been right, Hati and I had not hidden our attraction to each other very well; an attraction I still wasn’t sure I trusted.
Linnea giggled at the male from behind her hand, and my eyebrow flew up with interest before she straightened up to address me.
“Thank you for finding Ingrid, and staying with her so Beta Caldar could find me.” She hesitated a moment, then bounced forward to brush her cheek against mine, grasping my hands on hers. “We got separated when I thought I heard someone following us-“
“You think someone was following you?”
She laughed lightly as she stepped back, averting her gaze and tucking a strand of hair sheepishly behind her ear. “I get spooked rather easily. My mind might have been playing tricks on me when I realised we were close to the border.”
That didn’t sit well with me. It was too close to where the Blood Drinkers kept being spotted. But on the other hand, I could see the small female getting a fright from her own shadow, as bad as I felt to think such a thing.
“You don’t normally leave the castle, Linnea,” Bruadar said.
Another shy smile cast at the ground and she ignored what he said to hold up a basket of food. “I heard you would be working here today.”
I bit back a smile. Yes, there was definitely something going on here. Bruadar accepted the offering with a charming smile that I worried might make the poor female’s knees buckle as she explained, “I also heard you’re going to port with your father. If you like, I can make food for you trip. When will you need it by?”
“We leave in two days, and will hopefully be back by the end of the next week. I believe we are to be accompanied by a few warriors who will stay in the village to protect the mortals from possible Blood Drinker attacks during the winter.”
The smile fell from her face, and I grinned, reaching over to nudge her shoulder. “Do not worry, he will make it back alright. He has to come back to prove he is made of stuff as sturdy as I am.”
“Exactly. No Blood Drinker is going to get the better of me.” The male puffed up and rumbled a growl that might entice other females, it certainly made Linnea stifle another giggle.
A growl ruined our fun though.
Hands on his hips, Gerlac narrowed his eyes at us from the table of working wolves. “We haven’t come out here to gaggle like geese. All three of you have something to be doing, no?”
We all nodded, heads ducked as the older wolves chuckled and urged us to get back to work. Bruadar returned to his father’s side and Linnea shifted on her feet before me.
“I should get back to Ingrid. She passed on hope that you are well today.”
And I’d been worried Ingrid and I’s truce had been but a temporary thing.
“I hope she is well too.”
She smiled and nodded, going to turn for the castle before she overcame a bit of her fear and reached out again for my hand. “Find us when you’re done here. Ingrid wishes to show you what we tame wolves get up to.”
There was no malice in her words, only light teasing and genuine hope. I laughed and agreed, watching her dart back inside without anyone in the courtyard ahead taking note of the small quick female with her head bowed low, as if her very fear was being seen. Timid beyond measure, but I was happy to count her amongst my new friends. Soon maybe I would even count Ingrid if our meeting later went well.
Tucking my hands under my arms, I mused over that turn of events as I made my way back to Gerlac. He was still glaring at me, but there was something else at the edge of his lips as he considered me. “What are you trying to do?”
“I don’t know what you mean.” I sniffed, eyeing the scrolls on the table as if the words on them meant anything to me.
“You and Ingrid want to spend time together the day after everyone watched you go for each other’s throats in the hall?”
I bit back the urge to tell him Ingrid had never once went for my throat, that she probably hadn’t ever had the intention of doing so. That he needed to open his eyes and see what he was doing to his female by pushing her to do what he wanted. Instead, I shrugged and motioned towards where Linnea disappeared. “We share a mutual friend who would appreciate us getting along.”
He sniffed with a show of teeth and shoved a piece of parchment into my hand with no further comment on the matter. “You’re going to write for me for the rest of the day.”
I stared from the crunching paper to the odd straight, palm sized piece of charcoal he held out. When I met his gaze again, there was a moment of smugness that fell away to be replaced by his superior teacher look. Oddly his voice gentled, his touch guiding as he brushed his fingers over the markings on the page that looped in a list down the left hand sign.
“These are a list of tools and materials. . .” his finger moved to the other side where rows of straight vertical lines crossed by one diagonal had been etched in next to each word. “These tell us the numbers we need. I will teach you to read and write words soon, but for now, I just need you to make numbers.”
I stared at him.
He was going to teach me to read, and write? More than the few runes and Ogham written words I knew?
I didn’t hide my grin quick enough, and he seemed to forget we were at odds with one another as he chuckled at my enthusiasm. Maybe Ingrid would help me in secret, for the way to Gerlac’s good graces was surely initiative. I wanted to show him I took this seriously, it would be easier to have him on my side.
A quick lesson was giving for counting. Four straight lines then one diagonal adding to five.
“Not the way of all the land, but when I spent time in my youth with tutors from across the continent, they favoured this way of counting.”
I didn’t bother asking what a tutor was, nor why he’d spent his puphood with such people. Those types of questions gained looked of disapproval as he was reminded of the extent of what he called my “illiteracy.” Which again, might have offended me if I’d understood what it meant.
The sun eventually cleared away clouds to leave a crisp cold afternoon by the time Gerlac and I finished. Staring at the tally marks, it was unsettling to see just how in need the pack was for tools, and workers. Nomad wolves took time to teach in ways of human building even if they could use what we had. This last shipment coming into port was more important than I could have thought, and I now understood the watchful eyes on the weather. The road to the castle would be blocked come The Dark Month, and we would be cut off from the world.
Leaning against a nearby tree while Gerlac spoke to the young family living in one of the dens furthest from the walls, my fingers traced the runes while I quietly sounded them out to myself. I could now read the words for hammer, bolts, axe, and Gerlac’s name beside my own. I’d never seen my name written down before, had tried to hide my excitement as he explained what sounds each rune and Latin letter meant.
A chill wind bit through my cloak and my head lifted to scent the smooth icy scent of oncoming snow.
“Brokkr and Bruadar might have to leave a day early; I do not think we have as long as a week before the road will be difficult to pass.” Gerlac stopped beside me, his gaze on the clear sky that might lull others into a false sense of security.
“Linnea will be sad to see them go.”
Grey eyes flicked to me with a brow arched and I chuckled, explaining, “I think she might like Bruadar. She was awfully interested in his wellbeing, asking when he would be returning, offering to have a meal ready for him.”
“Ah.” The male gave a rare smile. “I must admit I do not pay the female much mind.”
That, I believed, was part of her problem. Nobody expected anything from her so why would she try to step out from her own shadow? I intended to help her with that.
“Let me see how you did then.” Holding out a gloved hand, Gerlac looked at the parchment I held expectantly, humming as I passed it over. I couldn’t tell what he thought as he eyed my work. I knew my lines were not as straight as his; they wobbled and smudged, standing in uneven rows. “Not awful. Room for improvement.”
His gaze lifted as I bristled, but I held my tongue.
“Room for improvement is good, Eabha. You’ve done well today. I will get this to Brokkr, you may have the rest of the day to yourself.”
I couldn’t help but smirk. He’d had to force the words out, and I knew he hated admitting I had potential, but he’d done it. If I wasn’t aware he held to human customs, I might have leapt forward to press my cheek to his. Instead I puffed up under the begrudging pride and decided to offer, “You are a good teacher. I will be with Ingrid and Linnea if you find need of me.”
He narrowed his eyes. “My daughter and you are truly no longer at odds?”
I felt the need to point out my only real issue with Ingrid had been her issue with me, and he’d soon find out exactly why we were now at peace when he met with Alpha Hati and Ingrid.
“Do not linger with her for long,” he advised. “I am sure your hands are better suited to helping around the pack than sitting by the fire.”
I flinched, even though I was unsure whether that had been more of an insult to Ingrid or me. More intriguing was Gerlac himself grimaced in apology. To show there was no offence taken, I bowed my head and tried to emulate the curtsies I’d seen Ingrid do. His lips twitched at the effort, and I was glad we weren’t going to part with bad blood.
Shoving my way through deep snow until I got back onto the road, the path treacherous now the press of feet, paws, hooves and wheels had compacted snow into ice. I picked my way over the courtyard carefully too, and sighed as soon as I was inside again. A wall of warmth washed over me and I shuddered as a chill rippled over my skin, chased away by the torches, candles and fires in every room that were always kept burning now.
I knew where Ingrid normally hosted the other females who spent their time embroidering and knitting with gossip, games and songs to keep them occupied, but I didn’t want to show up empty handed. Taking the hall to the kitchens, I smiled as I heard my mother’s voice calling out orders. Then jolted when the deep rumble of my father’s voice followed.
“I like this side of you,” he said, gaining an highpitched giggle from his mate.
A sharp sound, flesh hitting flesh, and Mother nearly sounded stern as she parried back, “You may well do, but you are in my way. There’s much to see to before the evening meal and I can’t concentrate with you watching me like that.”
It had been a while since I’d heard them both sound so light-hearted, so playful, and it felt awful when I stepped inside and the smiles fell from their faces. Mother dropped the cloth in her hand and darted over to encompass me in a tight hug that nearly squeezed the air from my lungs.
“Where have you been hiding? You scare the life from me getting ill and then you don’t come to show me you’re alright?”
She pulled back and shook her head, gripping my shoulders in firm hands even while Father tried to placate her with a touch to her hip.
“I’m sorry,” I murmured, nuzzling into her. She smelled of fresh bread and sweat, her skin holding a sheen from being around constant fires. The kitchens were always warm even with all the windows open to let out steam and smoke.
A hum and a nip to my jaw was given in forgiveness, but Mother didn’t seem anymore at ease. Dark eyes looked between me and my father, picking up on what hadn’t been said as we both avoided the gaze of the other.
I couldn’t fault him for not telling his mate what he knew, the real reason for my sickness, when I had been keeping further truths from him as well. I knew what I was now, in a way. While I didn’t understand how I came to be, what I was capable of, or really my place in any of it, I’d chosen to keep it to myself.
Part of me wanted to keep it that way.
Father already struggled with knowing the Blood Drinkers found something about my blood appealing, so how would he react if he knew it was because of the very gods he prayed to?
Jumping forward, I managed to wrap them both in my arms and squeeze tight. Father made a sound of surprise but Mother pressed closer, her fingers stroking through my hair.
“I love you both very much,” I whispered, noting the kitchen had gone quiet and the other workers had probably stopped to stare. “I’m sorry I’ve been distant, I won’t be anymore. There’s much that has been happening-“
“With Alpha Hati?” Mother smirked as I released them both with bright red cheeks. Father frowned, confusion scrunching his eyes, and Mother sighed wearily. “You are both far too alike, honestly. I saw his interest in our female the moment she took Niamh down from his horse instead of allowing him to do so.”
“Surely that would give you cause to believe the exact opposite,” I grumbled.
Father nodded his agreement and my poor mother looked close to her wits end with both of us. She snatched the cloth back up from the table and cast the wolves under her leadership a look that sent them quickly back to kneading dough and salting meat.
“You and I, Eabha, a ghraidh, are due a conversation about males. I see why you have been keeping your distance now.” She narrowed her eyes but a smirk played about her lips. “Eyes are the windows to the soul, and yours have a spark I have not seen before. I know what gives a female that spark.”
Father's head whipped comically between us as he became further lost by what was not being said. I stood frozen under the knowing gaze of my mother-wolf. I had absolutely no doubt she knew what Hati and I had done two nights ago. He’d remained in my room last night too, both of us curled up on the furs by the fire after I convinced him to forgo a bed for one night. I’d been certain nobody had seen him leave but perhaps. . .
Suddenly I wished to tell Mother everything. I wanted to know what she thought of Hati’s words and actions which I often felt were so at odds with one another, but she might be able to see what it meant. She would have advice about what to do, how I felt, what he felt. . .
As if she could see the questions and worries bubbling up, she placed her hand gently on mine and offered a small soothing purr. “We will talk, my female. That is what I am here for. Males are confusing creatures and we females must be smarter than them to stay on top.”
“I would like that. I’m very. . .confused.”
“It took your father over a year to approach me.” She chuckled and eyed her mate still stood pouting with indignation a few paces away. “Even then it took a further three years of him joining my pack to hunt, and us sneaking off to tumble in the trees, before he asked me to be his mate.”
I cringed and made a face. More than once I’d caught them having a 'tumble in the trees' as she put it. I did not need further knowledge of what they got up to. “Chan eil, a mhammaidh. I don’t want to hear anymore.”
“Oh wheesht now. There’s no point in acting so innocent.”
“What is going on?” Father demanded, making the wolves working away behind us snigger. My cheeks flamed even brighter; my skin so hot I nearly broke out in a sweat. How much had our audience figured out?
Mother grinned and rose on tiptoe to kiss his cheek, her fingers stroking along his bicep. “Nothing, a ghaoil.”
“I came here for a reason,” I interjected, wishing I’d just gone straight to Ingrid instead. “Can I steal something to take with me for some friends?”
“Friends?” Mother whipped round so fast I felt my lips pinch together, slightly hurt by her surprise. “Astrid?”
Folding my arms, I sniffed. “No. Ingrid and Linnea.”
My parents shared a look.
“I would really like to make a good impression, and food is the best way I know to win over wolves. . .”
“She isn’t wrong!” The older wolf kneading dough at the flour covered table behind me clucked her tongue, and I recognised her as the female who had so carefully watched over my siblings when we first arrived. “Ingrid likes her fancies, let her take some of the buns under the towel by the window.”
Woken from her surprise at my announcement of friendship with a wolf I’d open fought with the day before, Mother went to fetch the buns. I thanked Brìde too, making a note of her name which was common among the wolves of home. It amazed me how closely entwined our countries and cultures seemed to be despite the sea between us. The islands to the North of Alba were forever changing hands between the Norse seafarers and the Gàidheil.
A plate of overly sweet smelling bread was placed in my hands and my stomach twisted as my nose scrunched.
This was what Ingrid liked to eat?
Mother laughed and patted my cheek. “Shall I put something plain on for you?”
Another round of laughter from the kitchen. Why did my mother insist on embarrassing me so?
“No, thank you. This is fine. I’ll see you tonight.”
I turned on my heel and raced out as fast as I could without running, closing my eyes in exasperation as she called after me to behave, followed by Father once again demanding to know what we’d been talking about. Mother thought she kept a secret from him; if only she knew what he’d kept from her. I wasn’t even sure which secret was worse at this point.
In all honesty, spending time alone with Ingrid and the wolves she’d talked about me with, was almost more nerve-wracking than any unimaginable fate that might lay before me.
Linnea was waiting at the door when I finally arrived, or at least it, seemed that way. Her face lit up as she spotted my approach, and I smiled in relief at the genuine happiness for my presence. She went to curtsey then frowned at herself and bowed her head instead.
“You don’t have to be so formal with me, Linnea.” I laughed, reaching out to tip her head back up, though she kept her eyes downcast.
“It’s habit,” she admitted sheepishly, eyeing the cloth covered platter in my arms. She leaned in and sniffed, finally meeting my gaze. “You are a clever she-wolf.”
My lips tilted into a smug smile. “I can be good with wolves when I give myself the chance.”
She grinned and urged me to follow her into the cosy room filled with Ingrid and her closest confidants. The conversation stumbled, wolves stopping what they were doing to gawk at me. I tried not to react, kept my expression polite and followed Linnea to place my offering of food on the table. Ingrid sat closest to the fire at the other side of the room, a needle in one hand, and the end of a skirt in the other. I nearly choked as I realised the intricate designs on some of her dresses had been hand stitched by her own hand. The design she worked on now was of twisted knots in gold thread, so delicate as to be admired.
She stood slowly and placed what she worked on by her stool to greet me. Her companions continued to watch like they couldn’t believe what they were seeing, heads cocked and mouths nearly wide open.
I shared a conspiratory smile with the other female, leaning into accept her cheek against my own. As always, her scent was thick with something sweet smelling but unnatural and I resisted the urge to sneeze.
“Their reaction is rather amusing, is it not?” she whispered, green eyes glittering with delight once she pulled back to eye her friends.
“It is.” Eyeing the mix of males and females, I knew immediately they came from families like hers, ones who’d been living as humans. It was as if their wolves were buried deep and I could only catch the barest sense of them beneath skin. “I hope I’m not intruding.”
Ingrid scoffed and flicked the cloth off the tray to reveal the sweet smelling rolls beneath. A hum went around the room, hands already reaching to snatch one, and like that, my presence was accepted. A seat was pulled out for me at Ingrid’s side, wine offered instead of water, and praises given for bringing food.
If only I knew it would be this easy weeks ago. Though, it was more than that. I watched how their eyes always strayed to Ingrid, watching her reaction, then mirroring it, smiling as she did, laughing if she did. I was certain if she suddenly acted coldly towards me, they would do so to.
This was Ingrid’s territory, and here, she ruled.
“You hold a lot of influence and you were worried about me?” I murmured, watching her fingers deftly pull and push the needle, thin gold thread slowly revealing the next knotwork pattern on the hem of her skirt.
Ingrid shifted, looking around the room at her friends, pausing on Linnea sprawled out on the floor by the fire. She and I were the only idle wolves here. Ingrid worked on her dress, the two identical smoky haired females across from us worked at a loom smaller than ones I’d seen before when snooping around human homes, and the three males I pretended not to hear making obnoxious and sexual jokes were mending clothes from a woven basket by their feet.
“I had every reason to worry about you and Hati.” Sharp seaglass eyes cut up to mine. “When I speak to him tonight, with my father who will no doubt be disappointed in me, don’t forget I am doing it for your sake as much as mine.”
The twins at the loom stilled at her sharp tone and peered over. Even Linnea shifted uncomfortably on the floor, picking at her roll rather than look up.
Folding my hands on my lap, I remained calm and reminded myself she was used to lashing out when she felt trapped. That she too feared her father would find a way to overrule his own female’s wishes. His own Alpha’s wishes.
“I did not ask you to-“
“No,” she agreed quickly, sighing and slumping on her stool as she rested the needle between her fingers. “You didn’t aske me to speak for you but I will because I must. I have no doubt once I step down that the council will fight for their own female’s to be considered, having me at your side will only help your case. Or are you and Hati still. . .fallen out?”
“We made up,” I said, hating the sudden scrutiny I received. This was the sort of gossip they so enjoyed but I wasn’t one to satisfy their need for it. Hati and I were still struggling to find our footing with one another without chatter following us around as well. . .more than it already was.
“You have influence already even without me,” Ingrid went on. “Linnea said you were with Father today, it would do you well to impress him.”
“On that count, I have a favour to ask of you.”
Ingrid blinked in surprise. “You. . .you want help from me?”
“You would know best as Gerlac is your father. He wishes to teach me to write, I would like to show him I’m capable.” I smiled, hoping my asking would be an opportunity for us, even if she wanted something in return.
She studied me carefully, perhaps still as uncertain of my intentions as I was hers. We may have bonded at the river, she might have shown real concern for me and kept my secret so far, but there was a lot between us that would need time to mend before we could call each other friends.
“Very well,” she agreed cooly. “I want something in return.”
Of course she did. But before I could come up with some impossible thing she might want, she said, “You hunt well don’t you?”
I nodded, and she grinned.
“I will take the fur of your catches, one animal for a lesson. The bigger the animal, the longer I will teach you.”
That seemed, much to my surprise, a fair enough trade. With Magne’s orders to build up my strength again, it would take little extra effort to hunt. Especially if Fionnlagh joined me.
“Do not get too attached to me, however. It is my wish to return to life the way it was before. When Father and I speak to Hati tonight, I will make that clear. I wish to be married to a mortal and living my own life again as soon as the Blood Drinkers go back to whatever holes they climbed out of.”
The others cheered in agreement, but I couldn’t summon any joy. If only they knew exactly what defeating the Blood Drinkers would entail. Gods. Giants. Creatures of magic and lore.
For the first time, I felt real burning jealousy. Ingrid might get the choice to return to life as she saw it before it was interrupted; I was beginning to come to terms with the fact that I might never have that luxury. The future I saw for myself was ever changing. It grew grimmer too with each new thing I learned about myself.
“Perhaps you will finally tell me what happened at the river, was it magic?” she whispered so the others would not hear.
I had promised as much, had I not? If she was one of Skoll’s spies, she would already know everything, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t use the information for her own gain in some way. She was blatant in her show of being willing to do whatever it took to retain her position. It was only the shimmer of fear in her eyes that led me to believe she might want to know for her own safety.
“You may ask Hati to tell you,” I said at last. “Tell him I have said he may do so, but the decision is up to him. He is Alpha.”
She looked slightly disappointed by that answer but didn’t try to persuade me otherwise. Ingrid knew I still didn’t trust her, and tension strained between us in away that had Linnea’s eyes flicking from Ingrid to me as if waiting for something to happen. Even the rambunctious males behind us caught onto it, going so far as to move further away like they expected a fight.
Indeed, it would be a while before we could call each other anything more than allies. If tonight she did as she promised and swore she no longer wished to be Hati’s mate, if she kept her word, and continued to keep my secret, I would think about trusting her with more.
The two of us shifted awkwardly, and when Ingrid jumped up, I nearly growled defensively until I saw her reach for parchment.
“I have no fur for you,” I warned as she began to set up a pot of strange black liquid on a table.
She laughed, a beautiful and genuinely happy sound that made me forget about our small misstep. “Perhaps I can not resist the chance to show off to you. I can’t hunt, or shift as often, I am no fighter or protector, but my handwriting is most enviable.” Pausing, she added, “and I wish to see the perplexed look on my father’s face when you progress much faster than he thinks you will.”
“I think I will enjoy that too.”