The murder card

Dear diary, today I had a meeting with Mary. I knew exactly what I wanted from her and I demanded it right away. I showed more confident this time, even though it was fake, it worked. I told her I wanted bigger compensation for my efforts and not only that, I wanted a promotion. We negotiated about the money, but eventually we found a sum we both agreed on. My request about promotion was not to her liking. She refused and refused but I didn’t give up. I knew that if wanted to find out more about them, I could just stay in retail, I needed to do something bigger. Eventually she offered me a better position in the company. She was far for pleased by that, I but I wanted it. Getting information for Ian was the main reason for this demand but I also had more personal reason for it. I was sick and tired working in retail and I knew, I couldn’t do it much longer. So I also did it for me. For now, she only gave me the position of the store manager, which isn’t much, but just enough so that I could accesses the main computer system of the store and the camera footage. The better information I’ll get her, the better position I’ll be able to get. I told her about Dr. Quin and immediately, she knew who that woman was. She was curious what she does for the group. I told her she gives them medical assistance for those who require it, which was the truth, but not the whole truth. That wasn’t enough, so I had to tell a little more. I told her about elderly people, who are over sixty and live with them. She was mad when I told her that, not at me, at them. She wasn’t happy when I told her about people who she though were dead but aren’t, but she suspected that anyways. For now, that was all I told, and she was pleased with the information she was given. So I made a deal that I can still participate in Murder card descriptions. After a long time, I felt good about myself, I actually accomplished something. At the same time, I also felt and still feel guilt. It is getting in the way of my joy. I wasn’t honest to anyone, I lied to benefit personally and sooner or later, karma will be right around the corner to get me. I have to come clean to one side, finally make a decision and lift this horrible weight of my soul.