SWNOVELS Chapter 15
Why is it when someone acknowledges your pain that the tears seem to want to flow freely?
Andrew stays with me.
My sobs grow louder as he rubs my arm consoling me.
Andrew controls his breathing giving me a pace to follow along with my own breathing. My head pounds from all the sobbing I've been doing.
The sunbeams through the window as we sit there undisturbed.
Andrew reminisces about the stupid things we used to do to calm my hysterical cries.
Andrew reminds me about the time he would sneak me back into the house when we would be out watching movies later than we should have.
Or the time that I had to go to the burger joint in town and order seven number fives for Andrew and I got two heart attacks, which are the greasiest burger that they offered. The teenage girl stared at us with horror in her eyes as we ate our food.
He avoided bringing up my father and Marcus and for that I am thankful. Andrew brings up the day that I stole the Jeep because we wanted to go to a party out of town. Out of the both of us I had more experience driving. Every time I had to brake Andrew flew towards the dashboard. Once we arrived I was too stressed to enjoy the party and Andrew was sick to his stomach.
I laugh when he reminds me that Glenda, the girl he had a crush on, walked up to us at the party and Andrew was looking a tad bit green. When she turned to hug Andrew he throws up all over her shoes.
For the moment I feel okay, not great but I would be able to manage. Once I am able to control my breathing from laughing at Andrew's misfortunes and could speak I ask him to go because I want to shower.
With a heavy heart and a kiss to the temple he lets me know that he will be close by if I need him. I am so thankful that the moon goddess put Andrew in my life. Closing the door I am left all alone.
I am stronger than this. There is no excuse I have to be not just for me but for the good of my pack. They will not survive with Andrew as their Alpha. That brings the faintest of smiles to my lips.
The real question is can they survive with you as their Alpha, an Alpha that has not even taken the full position of her status.
I can if you are by my side. My wolf makes an animalistic sound that somewhat resembles a chuckle.
You can't get rid of me.
Even though the pain is unbearable a small smile pulls at the corner of my mouth making it even more visible. Somehow I pull myself together, I keep my eyes away from the mirror as I pull my shirt over my head and toss it to the floor.
I get into the shower turning the cold water knob all the way it would go. The water pulses to life and cascades over my body chilling me to the bone and washing away the sweat from last night and my thoughts drift further and further away from my lost mate.
My fingers grab the loofah and I pour the liquid body soap on it. I scrub my entire body as if I was trying to scrub off my skin but I realize that it is not my skin but my mind that remembers his scent.
I take an ice-cold shower and washing away the soap my mind controls my body, and it moves like a robot with no emotions. Putting on a pair of sweats and a hoodie to keep me warm my eyes cannot avoid the mirror for too long my eyes take in the dark circles around my eyes. They move up my stormy gray eyes look back at me.
You need more rest.
My wolf worries about me.
I wish there was away, or even a potion, that could make me rest easy.
My long hair is tangled grabbing my comb I brush through my long red hair the bristles rip through my tangled mess. The length frustrates me making me want to chop it off right here, but that will not happen. My fierce red hair is one of the few features that my mother passed down so I cherish it. My hand keeps guiding the brush through my hair as I comb out all the knots. Taking one last look in the mirror there is nothing more to do with it so I go with naturally straight hair like every other day.
Walking into my bedroom the scent of pancakes makes its way upstairs into my room and to my nose.
Instead of my usual hunger for human food, I repress my throat from gagging. Food has not piqued my interest in a couple of days. My wolf wants to run free into the woods and hunt. I have not let her hunt in the past week and she seems restless with me. She is mad that I make it seem as if I am the only one that lost the love of her life. She has lost her mate, her hunting partner, and her friend. We are both in the same boat and it is getting crowded for my taste.
Let me stretch my legs!
She begs but I ignore her and run downstairs the chatter in the kitchen and living room stops me in my tracks. This happens when you live with your pack they are around in the most inconvenient times.
Releasing a frustrating groan I tiptoe down the rest of the stairs not in the mood to make conversation with anyone at all. Everyone is into their conversations or they might just not want to bother with an emotional alpha. My escape is easy and brisk as it appears no one notices me.
Once I step outside the crisp fresh air of the mountains hits me and it seems as I can finally breathe again. Taking a couple of steps forward Andrew stops me.
Can I talk to you before you run off?
I spoke too soon. One of my powers as Alpha is that I can turn off my mind link with the whole pack, everyone, except for my beta. At the moment I rather lose my mental connection with everyone.
What is it now!
Letting my annoyance with him be evident he knows that I want to be alone. I am making it clear since I tried sneaking out.
Oh, so now we can't have a normal civilized conversation?
If he were in front of me right now I would tackle him.
Lord help me, Andrew, I will beat your ass.
Even though I cannot see him I can feel the grin he must have on his face but then he throws me off when concern leaks through his voice.
Be careful out there. Keep me with you there has been trouble with rogues. You know you're all I have left.
Absentmindedly my fingers skim over the mark on my shoulder.
If a rogue crosses me you think you should be worried about me?
The small bumps fill my mind with an unpleasant memory. I drop my hand and walk into the forest which is a couple of yards away from the packhouse.
Hmm, that's true.
He leaves me be and I am alone with my wolf, time to let her stretch her legs for a little while.
Once I am far enough into the woods my wolf scratches at my core when I breathe in the pine scent and she knows we are on her turf.
Okay, girl.
Taking off my clothes the cold breeze bites at my skin making my body fills with goosebumps. I let my wolf surface.
My wolf tries to act tougher than me but the second I am in whole wolf form she sniffs the air, searching. The breeze running through my fur as my wolf takes long strides relaxes me, the soft ground gives me something to pound my frustrations on, and the alpha aura that my wolf carries makes me feel safe.
I wonder if he misses me. My wolf and my thoughts intertwine.
How can destiny be so cruel as to pair me with someone that would just up and walk away from his true love?
My chest heaves as my claws dig deeper into the ground and push me to run faster. I run for hours and my body does not feel it. The only source of time for me is the sun setting behind the mountains making the sky a hue of pink and orange intertwined.
I head back home. When I am close to the packhouse I see that Andrew has gathered my clothes and piled them by a tree. I shift, grab my clothes, and run up the path naked. I grab hold of the door handle and walk inside.
The packhouse is quiet, but it is normal for a Friday night. Since I am a young wolf it is logical that the people in my inner circle would be young. Just like any other young person my pack loves to have fun on a Friday night.
Not bothering to turn on the lights I walk through the dark house. Climbing the stairs with no trouble and making my way into my bedroom. The air is hot, someone must have turned on the heater, I swing my window open.
Hot rooms bother me. Much rather wear a sweater than sweat. The cold breeze makes its way through my bedroom. I grab my clothing from earlier.
Climbing into my bed and pulling the covers over my cold body I lay in my bed hugging my pillow close to my chest. The silence makes my thoughts run amok, my mind painting the memories of the more enjoyable days with Marcus. If my heart was healing the pictures in my mind are like a knife reopening the wounds.
His gorgeous hazel eyes gleaming at me when he knows I could not stay mad at him, his lopsided grin, and the way he would leave my window wide open so we could cuddle at night. My heart grew heavy as the lump forms in my throat again.
I will not cry for you any more Marcus Lexington.
You are the one that let me go.
You gave up without a fight.
After today I'm done crying for you. I will erase everything about you from my mind, heart, and soul.
It would great to say I am done with him today but the streaks of tears which run down my face would not let me.
"I'm so sorry Alpha Blake couldn't meet with you today. You know the Alpha is always busy." I am lost in my world that I did not hear Andrew come in.
"Is there any way I could be squeezed in tomorrow? I want to meet your new alpha." This voice is new I have never met him before.
Andrew clears his throat, "I can't say." There is a moment of silence.
"Your Alpha is upstairs!" This catches my attention, how does he know?
"I can assure you that is not true," Andrew mumbles.
"Alpha Blake you either come down or I will come up. You have postponed our meeting for a couple of weeks now." There is something in his voice that makes me listen to him.
My wolf growls within me, how dare this man to order an Alpha?
His voice has me on my feet making my way to my door.
"I'll give you a few minutes to decide."
That stupid mutt better watch what he says, he is on our turf.
My pulse quickens as I turn the handle.
"Andrew, fetch me a glass of water." Andrew's retreating footsteps makes my eyebrow shoot up. He is my beta, he does not take orders from no one else except for...
I step down the steps the voices come from the living area.
"Here you go, Alpha Hunter."
He is an alpha.
He has his own pack.
I make my way to the living area and Andrew has his back facing me but Alpha Hunter's golden eyes lock on my gray ones.
"Well, hello there." He grins at me as the air escapes my lungs as if my mouth is a punctured hole in a balloon.