The Love of the Wielder (The Wielders Book Two)

The Duchess’s Suite at the estate was ridiculous. Which was saying something considering where Maren had lived most recently.

The sitting room was more than twice as large as her sitting room at the palace had been. While she had been impressed by the separate space off her bedroom just for dressing at the palace, she now had a whole separate room with a rear entrance for a maid.

The washroom was lavish, with the largest soaking tub she had ever seen. She realized with a shiver it had likely been designed for two people to share, and decided not to dwell on that for the moment.

The bedroom was huge, with a giant bed and a pleasant-looking seating area arranged around the fireplace. There was a fabulous window seat that looked out over the ocean. She couldn’t see much of the ocean in the dark, but she could see the stars and the moon over it. It was rather pretty.

As luxurious of a space as it was, the decor of the suite was horrid. It looked like a rose bush had exploded in every single room. Every bit of wallpaper on every wall and every bit of upholstery on every bit of furniture was covered in a hideous pink floral print.

She’d need to redecorate immediately, and at least it would give her something to do.

She also found something else she disliked in the bedroom. There was a door near the bed with a note tacked to it.

Dear Maren,

I had intended to have an actual conversation about this particular door, but in light of the circumstances of your arrival, I wanted to spare you from what might have been an uncomfortable discussion.

As you will no doubt surmise, this door joins our suites. I want you to know that I won’t open it until you do, and you don’t ever have to open it if you don’t want to. By all means, lock it if it makes you feel more comfortable.

Perhaps you will be skeptical about that, but I assure you it is the truth. We can, of course, discuss it further if you wish, or pretend that this particular door does not exist.

Sincerely,

Jonathan

Maren was too tired to do anything besides read the note and set it back down. At least she wouldn’t have to worry about any invasions into her bedroom. She would deal with any other implications another time. She did, however, lock the door. Just in case.

She did the bare minimum of washing she could stand and collapsed in her bed. She couldn’t even be bothered to change into a nightgown.

In the morning, she woke up surrounded by horrible pink bedclothes. She felt a bit better; the headache she’d had since leaving the palace wasn’t as bad, and she felt less exhausted. She slept in very late; it was past ten o’clock when she finally got out of bed.

Maren was glad to see a pot of coffee and a tray of pastries in her sitting room. The coffee was not quite as warm as she liked, and she considered using her powers to heat it, but decided against it. It wasn’t worth the risk, and it was still coffee.

Two notes had been left on her table, along with the tray. The first, written in a barely legible scrawl, was from Alec.

Dear Maren,

I gave orders (physician’s orders, not son of the house orders) that you should be left undisturbed to sleep as long as possible. I hope not to see you before tea, and I shall personally march you back to bed if you leave your rooms before luncheon.

Send for me if anything is worse. If you don’t emerge after tea, I will barge in and drag you out. You will need sunshine and a walk.

Your Physician

She disliked being dictated to on principle, but she couldn’t argue with anything Alec said.

She read the second note. It was written in a very tidy script that she recognized as belonging to the Duke.

Dear Maren,

Your nursemaid has given me permission to ask you to join me for dinner tonight on the terrace. (As I’m sure you’ll know, I am most grateful, and amused, to have received such authorization in my own home and from my son to extend such an invitation to my future wife.)

I hope that we might give first impressions another try over dinner, but if you are not feeling up to it, I would be more than happy to do this another night. I know you’ve been through quite a bit, and my only concern is for your recovery.

If there’s anything at all you might need, please do not hesitate to ask.

My very best regards,

Jonathan

The Duke’s note was very charming. She had to smile at his discussion of Alec. And it was very kind of him to not pester her about dinner.

His invitation made her nervous, though. She decided not to think about it for the moment. Instead, had some coffee and a truly excellent pastry, and decided to take a very long bath.

She was grateful to discover a staff member had unpacked her things and hung them in the dressing room. She found her dressing gown and went to soak in the tub.

As it turned out, a bath was precisely what she needed. The warm water soothed her aches and pains, and she felt like she was able to relax—at least physically—for the first time in two very long days.

She felt like she could finally assess her condition. Physically, she was still covered in assorted aches and pains, but nothing was worse than it had been the day before, so she wasn’t concerned. Mentally, her state was far more dire.

The chasm of grief within her was no better than it had been when she first left Donovan. That was not very surprising. She was not trying to be dramatic, but she thought it very likely that chasm would be with her for the rest of her life. No one would ever love her and love all parts of her the way he did. He had not only accepted her for what she was, he had celebrated her. He would be able to find what she’d given him with anyone, and she was glad he might find love again, but she would not be so lucky.

Maren decided not to delve too deep into the chasm of grief. She felt like she might cry again, and she still wasn’t sure she could stop if she started.

She had once been alone and thought she would always be alone. She could be alone again. She didn’t have a choice.

When she set aside her grief, she was left with her fear of Kieran and her anxiety about the Duke. Both of those feelings were very uncomfortable.

She knew rationally that what Kieran had done to her was objectively terrifying, but she found she didn’t want to think about it. She thought the best thing she could do was forget about it, and she would start by not thinking about it. She thought that would be easier when she wasn’t constantly bumping her bruised ribs.

So, her anxiety about the Duke was the only emotion she could safely think about.

Her instinct was to hide from him. She knew that was silly because he had been nothing but kind to her and had undoubtedly saved her life the night before, but she felt that she wanted as much distance as possible between them. And she knew why: she could already tell that she would like him.

In just one meeting and two notes, he had shown her that he was very kind and charming. He hadn’t interrogated her about why the Trackers might stop her, and was extraordinarily thoughtful in treating her delicately in the aftermath of that affair. He was having the house guarded, and she suspected it was not out of a true need, but to make her feel safer. And she felt extremely embarrassed to admit it, but he was very handsome.

She knew she should be glad that her future husband was kind, charming, and handsome, but she just felt guilty. It was ridiculous, but she felt as though liking the Duke was a betrayal of Donovan. And then she felt guilty for still not wanting to marry the Duke him even though he was kind, charming, and handsome and had saved her from a horrific fate. Then she felt guilty for feeling guilty because surely, she was not supposed to have her feelings tied to another man.

She tried to put that aside for the time being. She might find out she disliked him later, and then she wouldn’t feel as guilty. She didn’t think that was likely, though, and she knew what she should do. She should try to put her best efforts into building an amicable relationship with the Duke, and that meant accepting his invitation to dinner.

At least there would be wine.

Maren was still in her dressing gown in the late morning when the housekeeper arrived to present her maid. She gave them a note to give to the Duke, accepting his invitation to dinner, but declined her maid’s offer to help her dress for the day. Maren wanted to at least have a chemise on to cover the worst of the bruising before accepting assistance.

She did not feel that she was quite ready for socialization, so took luncheon in her rooms. But, once she ate, she began to feel restless, so she decided to dress and go outside. The view of the ocean from the window seat in her room was wonderful, and she thought she might like to see it closer.

She dressed in a simple blue day gown with long sleeves to cover the still healing burns on her wrists. Putting a corset over her bruised ribs was not pleasant, but the idea of parading around the house without one was worse.

As soon as she stepped outside the door of her rooms, she realized she had no idea where she was or how she might get outside. She thought perhaps it was rude to wander the house without an escort, but she reasoned it was about to be her house, so it was probably fine.

The halls were wide and airy. The walls were painted a pleasant cream color with gold molding, and there were various portraits and paintings hung at regular intervals. It wasn’t Maren’s particular taste, but it was a nice effect. It was a stark contrast from the rich and dark colors of the palace halls she had become accustomed to.

She managed to find the staircase and go down to the ground floor. She thought she was heading back towards the drive but must have made a wrong turn because she wandered the halls for several minutes without success. Actually, she thought she was getting further and further from outside. This was confirmed when she turned a corner and ran headlong into someone.

Maren was deeply embarrassed to realize it was the Duke.

“Your Grace! I am so sorry,” she cried, dipping into a curtsy.

So much for making a better second first impression.

“No, I think it was my fault, I wasn’t paying attention,” he said.

“And please call me Jonathan,” he added with a smile.

She flushed. “Ah…a reflex, I’m afraid. After a year at Court, I probably curtsy in my sleep.”

And then she remembered why she had been at Court and deeply regretted mentioning it. Fortunately, he did not comment on it.

“Are you lost?” he asked, not without amusement.

“I am very lost,” she admitted.

He smiled. “I thought so. The official offices are in this part of the house —“

“Oh, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know —“

He held up a hand to interrupt her. “You have no need to apologize. This is your home. You can go wherever you like. I just couldn’t imagine you intended to come somewhere so boring.”

“Ah, yes, well, I was attempting to go outside, but I think I might have been overly ambitious,” she said, hoping to gloss over the awkwardness.

He nodded. “I know the house is something of a maze. Shall I show you the highlights?”

“Oh, that’s alright, I’m sure you’re busy,” she said.

“Not particularly and certainly not too busy for you,” he said.

She knew she blushed at that. “Well, if you have time, I’d appreciate it.”

He smiled and offered her his arm. She took it and they set off.

The house was beautiful, if confusing to navigate. He showed her to the kitchens and the dining room on the ground floor, as well as a ballroom and a lovely terrace outside. The second floor had a huge and beautiful library that he invited her to make use of as much as she liked.

Then he took her out on a stunning balcony that looked over the beach. It must have been below her room on the top floor because it had the same view she had from her window seat. The air was salty and breezy. Maren thought it was very pleasant.

As it happened, they found Alec there reading.

“I’m trying to help Maren find her way around the house,” Jonathan said.

“Good luck,” Alec said. “I was about seven or eight when we moved in. It took me forever to figure out how to get from my rooms to the dining room. Of course, it’s a wonderful house for playing hide-and-seek.”

Maren smiled. She had no doubt.

“Alec, would you do me a favor? Captain Carstairs and his men are out on the drive. Would you see if they need anything? I know the staff is seeing to them, but it would be good for one of us to check,” Jonathan said.

Maren had the distinct impression that Jonathan fabricated an excuse to be alone with her on the balcony. Judging from the small smirk on Alec’s face, he thought so too.

“Of course. I’ll see you both later,” Alec said and went back inside.

“I’ll admit this is one of my favorite places in the house,” Jonathan said when Alec was gone. “If I’m not in my office, I’m usually here or the terrace.”

“I can see why you like it,” she said, staring out to the ocean.

Even through her discomfort about being alone with Jonathan, she couldn’t help but completely enthralled by the ocean. She had never seen it before, and it was so much more than she had thought it would be. It was even entirely different on the balcony instead of through a window.

“I didn’t know it would be so noisy,” she said absently.

Jonathan turned to her. “You haven’t seen the ocean before?”

She shook her head, too mesmerized to be embarrassed.

“Well, I hope it lives up to your expectations,” he said.

“I should say it surpasses them,” she said.

It was so much more colorful than she had expected, too, and everything was moving all the time. No painting or photograph she’d ever seen had captured it properly.

“Please come out here as often as you like,” he said.

She looked at him and smiled. “I will, thank you.”

She met his eye and was surprised to find she was truly enjoying his company.

And then a little voice reminded her of a night on a different balcony with a different man, and she felt a pang of guilt. Donovan was probably miserable. She should not be enjoying another man’s company, no matter how innocent their interactions were.

“Ah, I’m feeling a bit tired, I think I’ll go and rest for a bit before dinner,” she said.

“Of course, may I escort you to your rooms?”

She wanted to get away from him as quickly as possible, but she didn’t know how to get back to her rooms. She didn’t really have any other choice but to accept his offer.

“I’d appreciate it, thank you,” she said.

Alec did not at all mind going to check on Captain Carstairs for his father. He actually found it deeply amusing that his father fabricated an excuse to get rid of him, so he could be alone with Maren. That was probably a good sign. It meant his father liked her.

He knew things would be more difficult for Maren since she was so madly in love with someone else, but she looked reasonably content. Alec thought that was more or less the best they could hope for under the circumstances.

He also had no objection to calling upon the Captain for his own reasons. He had been thinking of concocting an excuse to do it and was glad to be handed one. They had spoken briefly the night before, but for obvious reasons kept things strictly professional.

Carstairs and his men had positioned a speeder to block off the entrance to the drive from the road. And apart from that, they just stood there. Alec thought it was likely a dull assignment for them, but every job had something distasteful in it. It wasn’t like he particularly enjoyed draining abscesses.

Carstairs saw Alec approach and came to meet him. Alec had to resist smiling broadly at him, but he did allow himself to observe how handsome the other man was. He was about Alec’s height and had a similarly slender build, but his face was what really drew Alec to him. Seb had bold and brilliant features, with brown eyes that held just a bit of mischief. Alec couldn’t help but swoon a bit. If there had ever been a God of Handsomeness, he must’ve looked just like Seb.

“My lord,” Carstairs said, bowing.

Alec did not miss his small smile. It appeared Carstairs suspected Alec might have ulterior motives for the visit. Which was fine. He did have ulterior motives.

“Captain,” Alec said, inclining his head graciously to the other man.

“The Duke has asked me to see if there was anything you and your men needed,” Alec said.

“Not in the slightest, my lord. His Grace’s staff has been most attentive,” Carstairs said.

“I am so glad to hear it,” Alec said. “If there is anything else you might require, please don’t hesitate to ask.”

Carstairs suppressed a smile. “Actually, now that I think of it, it would be helpful to have someone show me around the grounds, just in case.”

“I would be happy to,” Alec said, failing to suppress a smile of his own.

“Oh, my lord, I certainly don’t expect someone such as yourself to do something so…menial,” Carstairs said, openly smirking now.

Alec suppressed a laugh. Seb always enjoyed hiding their flirtation in formality.

“Oh, but, Captain, it would be my honor to show you the grounds,” Alec said, unable to resist a wink.

“If you insist,” Carstairs said, his eyes smoldering. “I’ll tell the men I’ll be back in about an hour.”

Alec nodded gravely. “The grounds are rather large.”

“Did your father really ask you to check on us?” Seb asked once they were out of earshot of the men.

Alec laughed. “He really did. I accidentally intruded on his courtship of his new wife, and he wanted to get rid of me.”

“Well, how terribly convenient. I was trying to come up with some way to see you. How long are you around this trip?” Seb asked.

“Three weeks. I’m staying until the wedding. I’m planning to visit my brothers as well but, I’m sure something can be arranged,” Alec said. “Come to think of it, I’m free this evening.”

“Splendid,” Seb said. “My boarding house has a rear stairwell.”

“Even better,” Alec said, feeling a bubble of nervous excitement growing within him.

Everyone in town knew Alec, so the fewer people who saw him at a boarding house, the better. As he got older and remained unmarried, stealth became more and more important to keep any rumors about his preferences at bay.

“I didn’t know you’d come back from Clifton,” Alec said.

“Gods, it was the longest year of my life. Absolutely nothing to do there. And I had to ride a fucking horse! Have you ever done that? Complete nightmare,” Seb said.

Alec laughed, thinking of Maren and her affinity for horses. “I haven’t, but I have absolutely no intention of doing it. I didn’t even know they still used horses up there until I met Lady Maren.”

“Oh, right, I wanted to speak to her, but it didn’t seem a good time. I’ve been to her family’s estate, actually. The officers from Clifton check in on the area nobles every so often. They’ve got a lovely estate, very nice people. I can’t imagine growing up there, though. There’s nothing,” Seb said.

“She likes horses, so I think she was alright;” Alec said, smiling at the thought. Maren loved horses.

“Ugh, can’t stand them. They’re huge and temperamental. I’m fairly certain they hate me too.”

“Well, if you walk quickly I can show you the highlights of the grounds, and we can finish off with something I’m sure you’ll like,” Alec said, smirking.

“Oh? And what’s that?” Seb asked with a raised eyebrow.

Alec smiled. “An empty stable.”

For whatever reason, the stable that had once held horses was still standing, even though the family had not had any horses since before Alec was born. Alec and his brothers had played in it constantly. It had been a fort, a castle, a dragon’s lair, and occasionally, a pirate’s ship. Alec found as he got older that it was an excellent place to go if he wanted to be alone, or if he wanted to be alone with someone else. It couldn’t be seen from the house, and the paths leading to it had been abandoned and allowed to be reclaimed by the woodsy area that covered much of the land. There was even something like an abandoned store room with a door—a door that closed.

Alec quickly introduced Seb to the paths around the house and the handful of outbuildings. The grounds were large, but not terribly complicated. Much of it had not been cleared; apparently the past Dukes of Worthingham all enjoyed the feeling of living in the middle of the woods by the sea.

“And that’s really all I have to show you, unless — do you want to see the old stables?” Alec asked, simply because the performance amused them both.

Seb looked thoughtful before nodding his head. “Probably should. At least I’ll make sure there’s no one hiding in it.”

“An excellent notion, right this way,” Alec said, leading Seb down a slightly overgrown path.

Alec certainly would’ve preferred doing something more civilized, like bringing Seb to his room, but that wasn’t an option, certainly not while Seb was on duty. It didn’t really bother Alec, though—stealing moments for trysts was often the best he could do.

Seb checked his watch when they reached the stables. “I have, thirty, maybe forty minutes before someone gets suspicious.”

“That’ll do,” Alec said, pleased.

Alec closed the door once they were in the old storeroom. It was musty and dusty, but it was also private, and a tiny window at the very top of the outside wall let in enough light to see by.

“Well, I’ve been in better, but I’ve been in worse,” Seb said with a crooked smile.

Alec had a weakness for a man with a crooked smile.

He smiled back at Seb and then crossed the small room. Alec shoved him against the wall and their lips crashed together. They kissed furiously, as though they were angry at one another. But they weren’t; Alec could feel that Seb was as desperate for him as he was.

Seb let him have his way for a few moments while they pressed into each other, but then spun him around, so Alec was against the wall.

“Gods, you are too much fun,” Alec breathed, smiling and tilting his head as Seb began kissing his neck.

Some of the men he’d been with liked to be in charge and others wanted to avoid being in charge, and still others didn’t think anyone had to be in charge. But Seb was something of a wildcard; he liked a bit of everything. Alec was happy to play anyone’s game as long as it was fun. Seb was great fun.

Alec spun Seb around again because he could, and began kissing his neck while Seb clutched their bodies together.

“Gods, I am so glad you’re here. Never found anyone in Clifton. It was so terrible, I nearly paid one of the women,” Seb said.

“That is desperate,” Alec murmured, more interested in kissing than conversation.

He understood, though, a year was a very long time to be without physical companionship. But it was often difficult to find someone with the same preferences that you actually liked enough to go to bed with. Every so frequently it was easy to tell, a look held too long or hands brushing more than was strictly necessary, but typically, it wasn’t. And the risks of being wrong were far too high to be anything less than extremely cautious.

“Mmm…need some way to identify each other. Maybe some sort of uniform. Perhaps a tattoo,” Seb said while Alec nibbled on his ear lobe.

Their lips met again, fierce and hungry for one another. When all your moments were stolen, there was no time to be delicate.

“On your knees, my lord,” Seb said, pushing Alec away slightly.

Alec laughed. He resisted and pressed Seb back into the wall.

“No, Captain, I think you’ll be going first,” Alec said.

Alec didn’t care either way, but it was a fun game to play.

“What a rotten host you are,” Seb said, again with the crooked smile. “And me, more than a year all alone.”

The crooked smile defeated Alec in the battle of wills.

“You win this round, Captain,” Alec said as he unfastened Seb’s trousers and began stroking him. “But only because I feel sorry for you.”

“Ah…mmm…I will happily accept your pity so long as I also get your mouth,” Seb said.

Alec laughed. “You just like having a lord kneel for you.”

Everyone was amused by that. Alec didn’t mind. He thought he probably would have been amused if the situation were reversed.

Alec knelt, heedless of the dust and dirt, and took Seb into his mouth. He was deeply gratified to hear Seb’s groan of pleasure as his hands ran through Alec’s hair.

It was shaping up to be a fairly good vacation, indeed.