The Lost Mate

Max

After Will’s impromptu demonstration of his new abilities, we made our way down to the cafeteria. I invited Nash to go with us, but he refused. I didn’t push him. If he preferred to hide in the room he had been leant, that was his business.

Will and I caught up while we ate. The room seemed too high end to be called a cafeteria, with stately carved wooden pillars and ceiling, and long heavy tables in neat rows, but the function was the same. “So, I thought you were with your sister’s mate’s pack after you graduated from here.”

“Yeah. I was. Mom wasn’t doing well and we thought it would be better if she had both of us nearby. And I think it did help her.”

I caught the catch in his voice. “Did? Then...?”

“She passed away about half a year ago. She’d been in decline ever since Dad died. It wasn’t that surprising, right? He was her mate, and they were so close.” Will shrugged like he was unbothered. He was lying.

“Sorry to hear that. I would have come to the funeral if I had known.”

Another shrug. “You’ve got your own problems.”

“Don’t we all?”

He laughed, although it was a bit forced. “Yep. I’ve got a stack of essays to go through tonight and I already feel my brain bleeding.”

Will wanted to change the subject so I went along with him. “Why assign them then?”

“Gotta grade them on something and it can’t all be pop quizzes.”

I smirked, thinking back to Will’s frequent high school rants about how unfair our teachers had been. “You’ve become the very thing you hated.”

He shot me his familiar wicked grin and placed his hand over his heart. “Have to pass the misery on to the next generation. It’s my duty as an educator.”

“I still can’t wrap my head around you teaching.”

“Well, what else am I going to do? I’m pretty much a rogue at this point. I mean, I’m still officially a member of my sister’s pack, but I’ve got little connection holding me there.”

“You could always come to Glenshadow. We’ve got room for a cheetah shifter.”

“Jaguar, and I don’t shift jaguar. I shift wolf, and I transform jaguar.”

I shrugged. “Seems contradictory. Do your cat and dog fight in your head?”

“I don’t have a jaguar in my head, I only have a wolf. The jaguar form is purely formed by my magic, whereas my wolf is a part of me.”

I held up my hands like I was surrendering. “Just kidding, just kidding. It does seem to be a bit redundant though, doesn’t it? You’ve already got an alternate huge predator form.”

“Nah, jaguars are actually really cool, that’s why I picked it. They’re not the best climbers, but they’re not terrible and definitely better than my wolf. They can swim, and their jaw strength exceeds wolves, although it’s probably pretty equivalent with shifted werewolf. Better night vision. The reflexes are insane. And the fighting abilities are more fluid, and adaptable, since the claws are sharp and designed for swiping, unlike our wolves’. And...”

I just let his voice wash over me as he explained why jaguars were so great. I could have annoyed him with cracks about how he was betraying canines, but I let him have his moment. Truthfully, it was good to see the enthusiasm since he been acted diminished after we lost our pack. It made sense. He had lost as many people as the rest of us. No one from Glenhaven had been untouched, even those like Will who hadn’t been there for the actual attack.

“Anyway, I could have started with something like a deer, but I didn’t see much point. Antlers would be interesting, but I don’t really like the exposure of prey animals. Imagine getting killed while transformed because someone mistakes you for food? Not the way I want to go.”

I supposed he did have a point. My wolf and I enjoyed being at the top of the food chain and had no interest in lowering ourselves to the level of prey animal.

We split up afterwards and Will went off to teach his next class, with plans to meet that evening. I managed to track down Professor Senica and had no more luck than I’d had with Professor Humphrey. It was good that Will had come back to his school, because that seemed to be the only thing I would get out of Sterling Manor this time.

Magic had failed me as much as the moon goddess had—as much as all my efforts had. My wolf roused himself just enough to whimper in half-hearted despair, and I had to push the feeling away before it consumed me. I couldn’t wallow in my helplessness or I would lose myself.

Maybe it wasn’t magic that had failed, maybe it was the way witches clung to a rigid definition of their ethics. What would be the harm if there was some way for a magic user to locate my bond and trace it to my mate? I didn’t even care if there was a risk to me, as long as they could say that Lillian would still be safe in the process.

My leg was already half healed between my werewolf healing and the magic the healer had used, but I kept up with using the crutches like she had ordered. I wasn’t sure of my next direction, but I knew I wanted to get moving again as soon as I could. Nash kept to his room again, but I ignored his typical strange behaviour. He tended to skulk alone a lot even back at the pack and he’d venture out when he got hungry enough, so instead of worrying about him, I went to meet Will.

We ended up in Will’s suite, fairly modest in size, but with the same stately elegance as the rest of the campus, hanging out in the living area while he pretended to work on marking the pile of papers in front of him. Even though we were far from where we once had been and so much had changed, there was a nice sort of nostalgic normalcy in the moment. If we trade the stack of marking for a video game console it would be exactly like old times.

“So how long are you staying here for?” he asked, taking a sip from his drink.

“We’re leaving as soon as my leg heals.” For all their good intentions, Humphrey and Senica had been no help yet again.

He nodded, his eyes far away. “Have you got a new lead?”

I didn’t want to admit how little I had to go on this time. Every other journey, I had some new piece of information, some new potential sighting of her, at least something. This time it seemed a lot like chasing my own tail. I was afraid it would look futile. “I did get a tip from some rogues.”

“Rogues?”

“Yeah. Nash introduced me.” I left out all the other drama.

“Ah. The mysterious Nash. When am I going to meet him?” He took another drink.

“He’s not very social.”

“I get that impression. So what’s the tip?”

“There’s been a lot of disappearances around the Whiteforest area.”

“Seems pretty vague.”

“Yeah.”

He paused. “And didn’t you already look there?”

“Yeah, I did. The adherents suggested it.”

Will scoffed. “Adherents? Charlatans pretending to serve the goddess. You’re probably wasting your time.”

“Maybe it’s worth another look, since Fennel suggested it.”

“Fennel? Name sounds familiar.”

“You’ve heard of him?”

“The rogue king? Just that they’re dangerous. I’m surprised you got out alive.”

“Me too.”

“Must be because of Nash.”

“Actually, seems Fennel took a liking to me.” I shrugged.

Will leaned back his head as if exasperated. “Him and everyone else.”

“Jealous?” I smirked.

He snorted. “Of you? No, I don’t think so.”

“Deny it all you want, I think the truth finally came out. You wish you were me.”

He chuckled. “Well, life probably is easy when everyone bends over backwards to help you.”

“It’s not like that. People just have sympathy because I can’t find Lillian. Nothing more to it than that.”

“No, it’s you. You have this calming thing going on. Hard to describe, but it’s why you get along with everyone.”

“Well, not everyone.” I pointed to my leg as evidence. But if he was right and I did have a calming effect on people, I’d exploit it to help me find her.

“What are you going to do if that tip doesn’t pan out this time?”

“Keep looking.”

Will paused and looked down at the essay he should have been reading. Then he met my eyes. “It’s been three years.”

“Yeah. I’ve been counting.” It was actually slightly longer than that. It felt like an eternity of separation.

“Have you ever considered...”

His hesitant tone put me on edge.

Finally, Will spit it out. “That maybe you can’t find her because she doesn’t want to be found?”