The Kings Mate

Blackened veins of skin curl their way around the cut on my torso. I noticed the change of colour yesterday. The pain has been increasing over the last couple of days that have passed, but I haven’t told anyone about it, especially not Ryder.

Ryder hasn’t gotten around to taking me on the tour of the castle yet and he hasn’t been around as often as he was for the first two days. He has begun to distance himself from me. Over the last five days Ryder has only come up to the room for half an hour every night to eat dinner with me, apologising for not being able to see me more and for not allowing me to leave the suite either.

It wasn’t that I wasn’t seeing him as often and that I was bored in the room with only the guards to talk to, it was that he hadn’t touched me in the slightest. He was sitting opposite me and before when his hands use to brush over me he was now calculating his every move making sure he was nowhere near me.

Wincing I pull my hand away from my skin, trying to hide the pain I feel, even from myself. I’m stood in the bathroom of the suite. I just got out of the shower and I’m wearing a pair of black skinny jeans, that were too small for Ellie but hugs my still thin frame perfectly and a plain black crop top as a bra.

Wet tendrils of hair fall over the top of my breasts and drops of water drip down onto my bare feet. My ice blue eyes that are framed by dark circles from the lack of and restless sleep that I’ve had since being here, stare back at me in the mirror that stretches over the ‘his and hers’ sinks of the marble vanity.

The shower behind me is a double one and the bath that sits in front of the large window looks as if it could fit about four people in it. It took me a while to realise that the layout of the room is for two people and that the two doors that are on my right have been locked the entire time I’ve been here.

This is one of the only suites on the floor that is as big as the one. Reynolds told me that the floor had another six smaller suites on it and a private sitting room and study that are attached to this suite separating it from the others. The only thing I got from it was that I’m in a larger room than the king. A room that’s suited for the king. Its Ryder’s room I know it, it’s as if I can smell his scent on the sheets and feel his presence around me.

I missed the feeling of having his touch and the warm electric shocks and tingles that he gave me. Missing it was what made me realise how much I felt him around even when he wasn’t. I was scared of him for a moment after that. I wouldn’t let him touch my stomach, or even see what I had beneath my clothes. He knew I was hiding something and he had a very good idea of what it was. My fear disappeared when I knew it wasn’t him that I was scared of but it was that he seemed to know what had happened to me.

A knock on the door startles me enough that I scream, having to grab the sink to steady myself. My hand grips the grey shirt from the counter, covering it over my breasts and stomach, shuffling back away from whoever might be at the door as I fall to the floor.

It took less than three seconds from the small knock against the door to turn into it bouncing off the wall, someone pushing hard to get into the room. I don’t know why but I started whimpering, tears falling down my cheeks as I try to hide myself into the corner scared at the memories that flood my mind and what is moving towards me now.

“Lottie?” a deep voice questions from in front of me.

Its Ryder’s voice I can feel it. His breathing is deep and it sounds as if he’s scared. I open my eyes to see him crouched a foot away from me, still keeping his distance but I just want to crawl into his arms right now.

I don’t know much about romance but I do know that you shouldn’t fall this fast or feel this way around someone after a week. I don’t care though. I like the way I feel around him I’ve never felt so much at home with someone before.

My hands are shaking and I drop the shirt a little and Ryder’s eyes follow it eyeing the now revealed cleavage. He shakes his head and looks away from me so I can slip the soft material over my head. He turns back his eyes moving down, worry covering his face as his eyes come to my hands.

Slowly and nervously he reaches out to take them in his. I’m still whimpering slightly the tears still moving down my cheeks but the shake of my hands have stopped a little being wrapped up in the warmth of his as he lifts me back onto my feet.

It’s the most physical contact I’ve had with him in the last couple of days and having it now is calming. He lets go of one of my hands and goes to run it across my cheek but he second guesses it dropping it back down. Even he seems to be relaxed from the building stress he had now that he has contact with me.

Ryder’s free arm wraps around my waist and he quickly picks me up and sits me down on the vanity. It only took him a couple of seconds to do it, trying to keep the touch to a minimal, he pulled back quickly when I let out a cry of pain, his eyes moving straight to my mid-section. He lets out a small sigh stepping back away from me.

He’s here. He’s never here of a morning. I smile despite how much pain I feel from my ribs. He’s at the double doors, unlocking them and slipping through. He’s opened the door so I can’t see in the gap that he’s left. When he comes back out later he has a pair of socks and shoes the same as his black canvas ones.

“Ready for your tour?” He asks with a smile.

He doesn’t bring up the anxiety attack that I just had. It’s been a year since I’ve had one and that was when a guy tried to grab me in a back alley, I had hidden in an abounded factory after I got away from him and I jumped at every little noise for the next three hours and I couldn’t stop the shaking. I love how he doesn’t bring it up.

As I lean over to take the shoes from him, pain moves through my torso again. I shouldn’t bend. I should tell Ryder about the colouring. He notices my hesitance and sits the shoes down near my hip, taking my foot in his hand to slide the socks on.

As he’s tying the shoe laces, he laughs lightly washing all of what happened away. “What?” I ask laughing back.

“You’re like Cinderella.” He says looking up at me.

My eyebrows scrunch together as he lets go of my foot and it swings back and forth. “Who?”

Shaking his head he smiles. “I’ll show you later. Come on.”

He takes my hand again and helps me down from the vanity, a hand supporting my hip as he does. He walks me out of the room and as he leads me down the first hallway, I look around noticing that my guards aren’t anywhere to be seen.

“They’re around.” He says as he helps me down the stairs to the fourth floor. “You just can’t see them.”

He explains to me that the top floor is solely where the royal family resides which Reynolds already told me. He didn’t tell me why I was up there if that were the case and neither does Ryder he just explains that on this floor there’s the sitting room, a home theatre, a gym and some other rooms, including a few hospital rooms.

The last level of the upper west wing –the third floor– he explains is more bedrooms, these ones smaller but still fairly large and its where all my guards, his guards the doctor a nurse other guards and all their ‘partners’, which consists of around fifty other people. I was shocked to hear that so many people lived here and I had only met about ten of them, not even that.

The second level of the castle causes my jaw to drop. The awning that looks over the thick wrought iron banister down through the void to the first floor is a white marble cracked with a deep contrasting black. The same flooring is on the set of stairs that curves around a mahogany panelled wall and then opens up into to a wide circular set that continues onto the bottom floor.

I notice that on either side of the set of stairs are two double doors the stretch the length of the high walls. Ryder tells me that it’s a ballroom. He also tells me that I’ll like it and he seemed so sure of himself when he said it, he isn’t going to show me yet though.

Ryder’s eyes run up and down my body as if I’m crazy when we get to the stairs and the sound of my shoes scuffing against the marble seems to be one of the most interesting things I’ve ever experienced.

“You want me to get you a pair of high heels?” He asks a smile on his face. “My mum does the same thing.” He continues his eyes moving over me in awe.

It’s the first time I’ve heard him talk about his family. I never really thought about putting it in the pile of stuff I just have to trust him with. The tone of his voice when he talked about his mother sounded as if he loved her a lot.

He doesn’t say anything more after that, continuing to help me down the stairs knowing that my stomach is hurting even though I’m trying to hide it. He even waits patiently as I slide across the floor of the foyer laughing along with him as I try to get him to join me.

He just shakes his head and grabs my hand pointing out to me that on the west side of the castle is a formal dining room other sitting rooms for guests and an indoor pool that opens out into a garden, he leads me down a wide hall, like all the other ones in the castle. He tells me that mostly everything on this side has to do with political side of things and it was mainly an assortment of offices and sitting rooms but there was one thing he wanted to show me.

Two tall and thick heavily wooded doors loom before us all the way up to the top of the high ceiling. Ryder’s hand is wrapped around mine and he doesn’t let go to open the both of the doors. The room we enter now is more like an extra wide hallway, the walls panelled and painted over with a dark grey, making the gold framed pictures placed in the middle of the plastered vining stand out all that more.

“Where are we?” I ask in awe my eyes moving over the many frames.

My eyes move up the three stories to that white roof, bearing strong white lights down onto us.

“The hall of Kings and Queens,” He says with a smile pulling his hand away from mine and pointing down to the end of the hall, “All the way down to Queen Jordena.”

The oil coloured picture takes up most of the wall at the end of the hall, a light situated at the top showing the extravagant detail. Ryder follows close behind me as I slowly make my way closer to it, his hand locking behind his back much like all the men I see in the pictures on both sides of me in my peripheral vision. I also notice with the posture his muscles become more pronounced as they strain against the white material of his tee shirt.

Queen Jordena stands with her back straight and her shoulders back looking more regal than I’ve ever seen a Royal before. She exudes confidence and I can tell why as Ryder explains to me that she bought a large distraught community together to found the country and lead into what Ryder rules today.

Her dark brown silky, curly hair is pulled up to sit on top of her head, framed by a diamond tiara that curves and twists into a pattern of vines which end with a number of scattered amethyst stones. The colour of the stone matches the thickly woven dress that hugs her chest and waist and gently flows out into a long train past her hips. A twisted cord of gold is looped around her middle and the long sleeves of the dress, dropping down to the reach the ground at her wrists, the material trimmed there with more gold like the belt and neckline.

She’s truly beautiful her hazel eyes a shade lighter than Ryder’s, the only thing the same about her and the current King behind me. The tall man standing next to her though holds a striking resemblance to his descendent. They both look exactly the same except for the blue eyes of the man in the picture.

“You look a lot like him.” I say raising my hand up to run it over the textured colours of the canvas.

He smiles down at me and laughs a little. “I was named after him. Over a millennium of our family being in reign, I’m the only one that looks like him.”

My eyes run over the dark suit that the other Ryder is wearing. It’s a black military one. A purple pin stripe the same colour of Jordena’s dress runs down the side of his pants and runs across his chest as a white fringed sash, medals I don’t recognise pinned next to it.

“Jordena was the queen and she ruled it over Ryder.” I turn to see that Ryder’s watching me carefully.

“Yes, we don’t discriminate against sex. Ryder married her after she became Queen and settled the country.” His eyes rest comfortably on mine as he explains his ancestor’s power with pride.

My eyes move low down his body as I think about the next question I try to push past my lips. “If you have a daughter first, then she’ll be the heir to your throne?”

My eyes meet his for the smallest of seconds before his flick down to look at my stomach. He lets out a small sound as he looks back up to my eyes. “Yes. She would.” he simply replies.

Turning away from Ryder I look up at the picture above the one of Jordena and Ryder. It’s similar except there are two young boys stood in front of them dressed the same as Ryder but their sashes are white and trimmed with the purple.

I notice all down the hall that the pictures on the left are of the King and Queen and opposite them on the right, are pictures of their family. As Ryder leads me down the hall pointing out and telling me the name of every single person I notice that most of them only have one child, a few with two and only one with three.

Stopping when we reach the final picture, I recognise the blonde, green eyed woman standing just slightly in front of a taller man. She was the one I saw after I first had morning tea with Ryder. I remember thinking that she seemed familiar to me. She’s his mother and the strict faced man behind her must be his father. He looks nothing like Ryder, except for eyes that looks to be just a few shades darker.

Turning I brace myself to see a mini Ryder in the picture behind me. He looks the same, his features just less defined, and his head just reaching the bottom of his mother’s rib cage. He’s shying away from his father though and there an obvious tension between them.

It’s the tension I feel from the Ryder standing a foot away from now that mainly catches my attention, not the nine year old in the frame. His muscles are tense as he stares down the picture of his parents.

The only time he’s mentioned his family before this was out in the foyer, his voice happy as he compared my antics to his mothers. His eyes are glued to his father though and his lips are pressed into a tight line.

Taking a step towards him, I slip my hand down into his that’s clenched at his side, when he feels my touch he allows me to intertwine my fingers with his. I can feel myself shaking at the contact I have with him, the small shocks feeling amazing.

“Can you show me the gardens?” I ask quietly my mind concentrated on my thumb running over the soft skin of his wrist.

Ryder’s jaw clenches the same time his hand tightens around mine. He looks down at me with a smile, his thumb rubbing over the back of my hand. He gives me one last look at the picture before he pulls me out of the room his hand still locked tightly around mine.

“Hang on.” Surprisingly I have enough strength to pull Ryder to a stop. Smiling up at him I point a finger at the empty space of the wall. “Where’s your picture?”

His eyes move sparingly over the wall before looking back to me, his eyes staring deeply into my eyes as he answers. “I need a Queen for that.”

A large sun light filled sitting room leads out onto a coble stone back patio and on it is a stone table with lunch set up on it. I tell Ryder that I’m not ready to eat though, I want to finish the tour and he just leads me through a maze of hedges that opens up into a small field of flowers that leads to the edge of the woods.

“I-I have to tell you something.” He says as he pulls me to a stop, breaking the silence that he’s held.

My eyes run down the length of his body and he tightens his hand back around mine, holding me in close to him as if he’s waiting for me to run away at whatever he has to tell me. I want to know what he’s keeping from me, what I have to trust him for.

“Your Majesty,” Someone says nervously behind us, stopping Ryder from what he’s about to tell me. “Commander Maxon would like to speak with you.”

The girl is small. She looks to be only fifteen and is wearing only a pair of black workout shorts and cropped bra similar to what I have on. I feel jealousy boiling up in my stomach as Ryder turns to look at her and my grip tightens around his hand as I hold him towards me now. His eyes never look low down her body though.

“I’ll just be a second.” Ryder sighs giving my hand a squeeze, pulling it out and giving the girl a nod of his head.

As he disappears around the corner of the hedge with the blonde girl, my four guards walk out and come into view. It was explained to me of a morning and night I would have two guards with me if it were inside the castle, all the other times it would be the four of them.

All the guards look between me and where Ryder disappeared. My hands keep fiddling with each other and the longer that Ryder’s away from me my fingernails begin to dig into my palm. I can feel a small amount of pain, the bandages covering the still healing cuts protecting me from inflicting anymore pain or opening the wound back up.

Reynolds wraps his fingers around my hands pulling my fingers back away from the blood that is staring to sink into the bandage. I opened up them up. My hands are shaking again so Reynolds lets go, sighing as I sit down amongst the flowers wondering what Ryder wanted to tell me.

The four guards sit down with me, keeping their distance still. I squeeze my hands between my legs. I can’t stop them shaking. All I can think about is how Ryder followed the half-naked girl instead of staying here with me.

For the next twenty minutes I watch Theo rip up all the flowers around him, pulling off petal after petal. Cyrus and Charlie are having a quiet conversation and Reynolds is lent back besides me, he’s eyes watching my hands. Out of all of them I’m closest to him.

“Lottie, relax, he just had to talk to Maxon about the something the guards saw on the perimeter.” Reynolds says.

Sighing I give him a small smile. “He said he’d only be a second.” I whisper back to him.

Reynolds gives a look to all the other guys and they give him one back before they all turn towards me but I’m still concentrated on where Ryder disappeared too and how much I want him back with me.

“What do you feel for him?” Reynolds asks out of the blue.

My head whips towards Reynolds at the question, my now dry hair falling over my shoulders in a tangle of waves. The silky strands blowing lightly with the wind.

He’s talking about Ryder. It’s obvious and he can see it with my body language and now all the guys were looking at me, intrigued as they waited for an answer. My hands are shaking a bit more now but it’s more now because I have to acknowledge the feelings I feel for someone who most likely feels nothing back for me except horniness.

“I- I don’t feel anything for him.” I lie to them.

Charlie coughs out a curse and they all try to hold in a laugh. “Come on Lottie. What are you afraid of?” Charlie continues.

Their conversation has got the idea of where Ryder is out of my head and my hands have stopped shaking as the memories and feelings of him and his touch flood my mind. I’m reminded that they’re Ryder’s closest friends they know him and with Ryder putting them to guard me, has to mean something.

Swallowing I finally push an answer out. “I’ve never felt like this with anyone before. I don’t know anything about relationships. I don’t know why my skin feels like theirs thousands of waves of electric shocks coursing through my veins to rest in my stomach, or why I miss it when he’s gone and that my feelings go hay wire and the way I seem to feel his. None of it makes sense to me and I’m- I’m” the last couple of words are stuck in my throat. “I’m afraid that he doesn’t and never will feel something like that for me.”

They all transfer looks between one another and the glazed over look that Reynolds has disappears as he gives me a small look. “Tell him.”

“He’s a King.” What do I have that could possibly match something like that. There are so many women that are better for him. He deserves someone with a family and hasn’t been homeless, someone who isn’t afraid to get close to him.

“And you’re British.” They all say at the same time.

When I go to reply they all tense, jumping up Reynolds pulls me to my feet with his arm around my waist pushing me behind him as Cyrus stands in front of him, Theo and Charlie flanking his sides. They’re blocking me from the tall muscled male that’s walking out of the line of trees. He’s only wearing a pair of jean shorts that are torn up the legs and amazingly aren’t falling down his toned hips but despite the mud that runs all up and down his legs and arms it’s the two enormous wolves that are as tall as the guy that shocks me.

Reynolds arm is locked tight around me and as I try to pull back away from him and away from the unnatural wolves it hurts my hip where his hand is. When I drop my hand to pull his away I see the small amount of blood beginning to seep through the material of my shirt, his fingers cutting at my skin.

“Out walking your little pet are you.” The guys voice as husky, sounding a little like he has a cold.

Another ten wolves, more lean and muscled then the lanky ones across the field move in behind us causing me to jump. They begin to divide evenly out to flank us on either side. My chest is rising and falling rapidly and I sink into Reynolds back to get away from all the coloured furs of the six foot wolves.

What the hell is going on?

The muscles in Reynolds back and arm tense around me when he feels how close I move in to him. It’s the first time when their job to protect me has been highlighted clearly to me now and I don’t want them to go now. Without a doubt I know he can feel the rapid rise and fall of my chest.

Cyrus says something in Jordanian and the two other wolves heads drop as they let out deep growls. The guy in the middles replies something and with the little bits of knowledge about Jordanian that I have picked up since being here is lost in a spurt of angry mumbles.

My guards seem to understand what he says and they all let out a deep feral growl the same as the wolves around us. I can even feel the vibration as it moves up his back and through Reynolds chest.

Arms wrap around my waist from behind and I’m pulled back into a harder chest. I scream at the contact, knowing that it isn’t Ryder and to be pulled away from Reynolds. When I tip my head back I see a guy who is the same height as Ryder and he even looks to be the same age as him with the same hair to top it all off. This guy’s pale blue eyes contrast highly with Ryder’s hazel.

The guy tries to pull me away from what’s going on. But when I look back to where my guards are I sink back into the guards touch letting him support me as I watch Reynolds clothes shred and his body hunch over as he’s replaced with a tall and slim pale blonde wolf.

The arm supporting me tightens as my legs threaten to give out beneath me as shock takes over me. I let out a cry of pain as his hand presses against my stomach over the cut, where the blood is coming through my shirt. The guy pulls it back and his palm is tinted red.

There is fight starting to break out and all my guards have been replaced with wolves and it’s only me and the guy holding me up that is human. I can’t concentrate on what is going on though as the pain from my stomach growing worse by the second as he pulls me back away.

Another growl comes from my side, when we get to be around the corner of the tall hedge. When I turn to look at the wolf next to us I’m shocked by how much taller it is then the others. One of the tallest wolves in the field is about 6”4’ and this one is just a little over seven and is looking down at me with a soft look.

The wolves a midnight black colour with white tufts flecked through its mane and smaller lots through its belly, hind legs and tail.

Its eyes are concentrated on mine and the noise that’s erupting around us is silenced as the hazel eyes lock with mine.

Arms lock around my legs and I’m mounted up onto the wolf by who was supporting me. Before I have a chance to protest my body is immediately invaded by electric shocks but I don’t pay too much attention to the feeling as my hands lock into the fur around its neck and when I get a good grip, it runs, leaving the guy behind.

The wind whips through my hair as I lean forward over the neck as the wolf carries me through the maze of hedges and up into the castle. My nose is buried in the softness of the fur as I take in the heavenly scent of it, not paying an inch of attention to where it’s taking me.

Deep inside I know that I shouldn’t be holding myself this close to something that I have no idea about and that this wolf could possibly hurt me if I don’t protect myself.

The wolf is familiar to me, I don’t know why but I trust it.

Finally the wolf stops and I pull back away from the warmth of its neck. Its front legs stretch out in front as its large head turns towards me. Its hazel eyes watch me carefully as he lowers to a level I can easily get off.

Once I’m down in the open living space of my suite, the tingles I felt are gone and the pain makes another intense appearance. I try not to acknowledge the pain, keeping it from the wolf.

The wolf sits down a couple of feet away from me and its front left paw moves drawing my eyes down to watch as he turns it in a circle before lifting it up and placing it over his eyes before it slips down the front of its nose.

Doing as it silently says, I turn my back to it and cover my eyes. I hear light ruffling behind me as whoever it is changes back, jumping slightly a warm hand hooks around my elbow pulling me around to face Ryder.

I knew he was the wolf. And I know that I should be scared of him and shrugging out of his grip. He isn’t human and he can seriously hurt me but he took me away from the fight. He isn’t trying to hurt me now as his breathe hits lightly over my face waiting for a reaction that he isn’t going to get.

He’s protecting me. He’s protecting me. He’s protecting me.

No matter how many times I say it, something at the back of my mind is telling me, that isn’t all that’s going on.

My chest is rising and falling rapidly and my breathing is becoming shallow and I try to tell Ryder that I’m fine when I feel his grip tighten. I’m not scared of him, I trust him, I’m mostly curious. I can’t get it out, the words stuck in my throat much like a breathe that’s beginning to weigh down my chest

Blackness blurs through my vision for a second as I realise that Ryder’s grip tightened because I had fallen and he had tried to catch me but he had moved with an inhuman speed to position himself beneath my shoulders and head so they wouldn’t make a hard impact with the floor.

“Lottie,” Ryder begins worried. “I’m sorry. I was about to tell you.”

Ryder’s hands are shaking as he looks down at me as he tries to push my hair of my forehead. Then they freeze and I notice that he’s looking down at my stomach as he must only just be noticing the blood coming through my shirt.

“You’re bleeding.” He whispers to himself.

His hands have a forced steadiness to them, tense as he holds in the shakes. He grabs the hem of my shirt quickly pulling it up so it bunches just beneath my breasts not giving me enough time to protest at the action.

My back arches when his fingers come into contact with the cut, I sound of pain leaving my lips. He curses as he pulls his hand back away from me, when I drop my eyes down to it I see that the stiches have ripped and that my skin has a deeper cut then what I first thought and the blood from it and the three new small puncture wounds has run down my stomach and seeping into my jeans as well.

It’s still black and now that the cut’s open, small amounts of puss are visible. I drop my head back into Ryder’s lap as the sight makes me nauseous. He’s moving out from underneath me and gently places my head onto the timber parquetry floor. I grab his hand so he won’t pull too far away, his closeness reducing the pain that I feel.

My hold seems to reassure him and he squeezes it back with a quick smile before he takes it back to bring my shirt back down. I’m shocked as everything hurriedly begins to play out, that one small intimate moment between us gone.

Ryder’s arms wrap around my shoulders and the bottom of my knees as he picks me up bridal style, my body resting gently against his bare chest. It’s the first time that I notice that he’s only wearing a pair of black shorts–much like how he was dressed when I first met him, just less sweaty.

Within seconds I’m being dropped softly down onto the bed and Ryder starts to mess with the panels behind the wall. He’s doing it all one handed as I grabbed his hand again before he could get to far away from me. I don’t want him to leave his touch is making the pain bearable.

The onslaught of what happened went from me feeling just slightly uncomfortable to a next to unbearable pain. It all started when the guy that pulled me back, put pressure on my cut and the shock of realising that not only I was living with wolves but Ryder was one as well.

There is a black blurring beginning to form around the edges of my sight and everything is starting to drop in and out of focus, especially my hearing. It’s not until my eyes open and their focused enough that I see pale red hair dropping down over my chest and realise that there’s another person in the room with us.

The woman looks to be in her late twenties her green eyes stark against the freckled skin of her face that run sparsely down her neck and over her collar bones. Her hands are soft and cold as they come down at the skin above the waistline of my shirt. I think she’s going to pull my shirt up like Ryder did and I let out a sound of complaint not wanting to be exposed in front of her. The sound is ignored by her as a ripping noise fills the room.

A deep growl follows the cool breeze that washes over my body now that my shirt has been ripped from my body and thrown somewhere else across the room. The growl comes from Ryder and for a second I find myself confused by the animalistic sound. Till I’m reminded of what he is and that I somehow managed to forget in the first place.

He’s still the same as when I first meet him. The way he talks to me, the way he looks at me the way his touch makes me feel hasn’t changed there’s just more of him that confuses me about the way I feel.

“If you can’t control yourself, I’ll have you removed.” The women growls out in a soft voice.

As her cold hands move over my stomach I add up that she must be the doctor especially when I feel something clamped onto my finger that starts a beeping noise above my head. The space around the bed is now surrounded with medical equipment and most of them have sharp attachments that I hope don’t end up in my skin.

Instinctually as I hear her words I grip at Ryder’s hand as tight as I can, it is so weak that he could easily slip it back out anyway. He just holds it back tighter, his thumb starting to run over my knuckles. I catch a quick glimpse of a sympathetic smile before my eyes drop closed again.

As I feared something sharp pinches into my skin over my ribs. “No, don’t.” my voice is hoarse as I try to pull away.

Ryder shifts uncomfortably next to me. He’s sitting a foot away from my right hip like the doctor is on my left hip. He had placed me in the middle of the large bed, propped up on the fluffy pillows. He’s moving closer now and lifting my hand up to press a kiss to my knuckles.

Iciness spreads across my stomach as I watch the syringe come to a stop and the needle is pulled out and placed down on a table next to her. Whatever was in the syringe duals the throbbing pain, but I can’t concentrate on that as shivers rack their way down my spine at the warmth of Ryder’s lips against my skin.

“Is she still hurting?” The doctor asks as she presses her hands back down.

I feel Ryder’s deep intake breathe over my hand. “Yes.” Ryder’s voice is tense and he loosens his grip before tightening it back around my hand.

“It’s blood poisoning. I would rather her be conscious, I can watch her easier if she is.” She begins to say over the top of me as if I’m not here.

Blood poisoning, if I knew that the blackened skin was a sign of something so deadly, I would have told Ryder earlier.

“She’s in shock.” The doctor hurriedly gets out, her calm attitude out the window as something is passed over the top of me.

Ryder releases my hand taking his heat and electric shocks with him and as it goes I suddenly feel my temperature drop down low and my body to shake.

“Find a vein on the inside of her elbow and push it in till you see blood.” Warm tingles take over my arm as Ryder’s hand grips it just above my elbow. I’m watching Ryder carefully as he runs his thumb over the skin, pulling it tight over a vein. I try to pull away when I see the long needle in his other hand.

Don’t, please don’t. I try to get my thoughts out as words but all I can get out is a cracked whisper of his name.

His hands shaking as he moves slowly towards my skin. “It’s alright Lottie. You won’t feel any pain after this, it’s just a little pinch.” He says steadying his hand out to press the needle in.

Little pinch my ass.

It stings as the needle punctures my skin and as the length disappears beneath my skin, blood seeps into the container at the bottom. His hands are quick as he removes it and replaces it with a clear tube twisting it on to the end, the bubbles of liquid moving easily into my body.

“Ryder?” I try to grab at the back of his arm wanting to hold onto something of him now that both of his hands are massaging around my elbow distracting me from the uncomfortable feeling of the drip, depositing a liquid to put me to sleep.

When Ryder feels my feeble attempts to get a hold on him he slides a hand down my arm, tickling the skin as he slips it into mine, intertwining our fingers, caressing my knuckles.

“Please,” I whisper feeling my mind growing lethargic, and my vision is tinted with a dark black I can’t blink away. “Don’t- don’t leave me.”

Ryder smiles at me before my eyes drop close and I lose the fight to keep them open. He squeezes my hand, stroking my skin with his fingers. “Don’t worry baby. You’re mine. I’ll never leave you.”

His voice welcomes me smoothly into the darkness that consumes my body. It’s cold but I feel it warm within seconds and that’s when I let it take over.