The Kings Mate

“This is horrible.” I groan into the toilet, my hands holding my hair back from my face.

I was back in Ryder and I’s suite, the cold marble tiles sending chills through my body. My back was shaking as I tried to steady my breathing, I hated the feeling of the contents of my stomach moving up my throat, it burnt and it left a feeling in my mouth I couldn’t shake.

“Get used to it.” Reynolds says to me as he holds my hair out of the way. “Ryder hasn’t told you that he’s sensed anything has he.”

Shaking my head I take the face washer he hands me as I rest my weight on my arm on top of the toilet. “We haven’t done anything since…” my voice dropped off as I thought about what had happened three days ago.

We spent two nights in Ryder’s old bedroom, not including the night after he got me back. I wanted to kiss him and I wanted to do something with him but Ryder was hesitant especially when I winced after stretching my arms in a certain way.

“Would have thought Ryder would jump at the opportunity to mate with you in his childhood bed,” He said with a casual shrug of his shoulders. “I mean he got himself off to the idea of you enough in there.”

My stomach churned again and I lazily threw the face washer back at him as the last of the contents of my stomach moved up my throat again. Reynolds was quick to move forward and pull my hair back out of the way.

“I didn’t need to know that.” I whisper before I’m coughing up more bile.

“Sorry,” he whispers a hand moving over my back, trying to soothe me but his touch wasn’t Ryder’s.

Last night we were finally able to move back to our suite and even though Ryder had been more assured at my safety in the room he was nervous to leave when I started to feel sick last night.

“What does Riley think about you being sick?” He asked me once I felt that I wasn’t going to throw up anymore.

Taking back the face washer I run it over my face groaning into the cold material. “She thinks it’s just a reaction to the vitamins and my body rejecting them, but that was last night so who knows.”

Reynolds nods and leans forward to take my hand and lift me to my feet. He watches me carefully as I wash my hands and clean myself up a little bit. He follows me out of the bathroom as I walk back to the lounge.

“You didn’t tell Ryder did you?”

“I mind-linked him so he could know, he wanted to come up but he couldn’t, so I’ve just been updating him.” I groaned and dropped my head onto the back of the lounge. “Told you he’d get more protective, you best let him though because if you fight him on it he’ll just get worse and moody.”

“I already know that.” I say as he plonks himself down on the other end of the lounge. “Can we go do some training?” I ask him hopefully.

Reynolds scoffs looking over at me with a shake of his head. “You are more than welcome to ask your mate that question. He will rip my head of I asked him.”

As much as I was afraid to leave the safety of our room, I didn’t want to be locked up in here. Like Ryder had said it was our life, my life, and I couldn’t let everything push me back from what I wanted to do. I liked the fresh air.

Standing up I straighten out the dusty rose blouse that I had on. Most of the cuts had healed and they were only a few on my arms and back that were yet to properly close up. They had left slight scars but Riley was confident that they would completely disappear in a week or two. I know they bugged Ryder. He would run his fingers over them when he thought I wouldn’t notice and I felt the anger that rolled off him in waves.

He blamed himself for what happened to me. If he had known that Travis was going to take me he would have done everything to prevent it from happening.

“This should go down well.” Reynolds said as he stood up and followed behind me.

As soon as I stepped out the door Reynolds kept a step behind me and my other guards fell in behind him to flank us, and behind them was another five guards that were all high ranked and a part of Ryder’s guard. He really wasn’t taking a chance in having anything bad happen to me again.

The walk down the stairs felt slow as I grew uneasy about what I was going to meet on the ground level. I’d been told even after the battle there hadn’t been much damage to the lower levels but if I wanted to talk to Ryder I had to interrupt his meeting with the pack alphas.

They were all lower ranked then me and I knew that I shouldn’t feel intimidated by them but I did. It was nerve wracking to be meeting such strong wolves that I was supposed to lead even though they could easily snap me in half.

Arriving on the lower floors I stop for a moment noticing the contractor’s that are fixing holes in the walls. I frowned as another ten wolves surrounded me. Five positioned themselves in front of me while I was flanked by two of them on each side and one moving to the back of the guards that were already there.

Turning my head to look at Reynolds he gives me a sympathetic smile. I watch as his muscles tighten and he stands up straighter and eyeing all the other guards. His posture showed that he was the strongest one here.

“Everybody take a step back.” He says sternly to all the male bodies that were around me.

One of taller guards that was stood on my left, his ginger hair shaved close to his head, spoke up, his eyes flicking to me apprehensively. “The alpha told us to stay close to her.”

“Well I’m telling you to back off because you’re making her uncomfortable. You’re more than welcome to run it by him but I can already guarantee you he won’t be happy with what he hears.” Reynolds counters his voice not faltering in the strength it displays.

The ginger guard nods his head at me and mutters a quick apology before he and all the other guards, I wasn’t used to, take two steps back. Reynolds stays at my side and Theo, Charlie and Cyrus a step behind still.

“Thank you,” I whisper to him as we continue down the steps again.

The closer we get to the meeting room the more I relax hearing Ryder’s voice grow louder. The double doors were open and I could see Ryder sat at the end of the table. His elbow is rested on the table and his chin on his fingers. He looked frustrated as some of the other Alpha’s argue amongst themselves over the table.

Standing outside the door, all the guards move out of the way but are still surrounding me. Bracing my shoulder against the door, I watch as Ryder pushes himself up from his seat and walks around the large oval table, surveying everyone that was sat around it.

Maxon’s eyes flick to me from the end of the table and he gives me a quick smile before he rises to his feet as well. Quickly he says something into Ryder’s ear and both of their heads turned towards me.

Ryder seemed to visibly relax as he saw me standing there and he quickly crossed the room not caring about all the alpha’s that shoot him a confused look. Within a second he flicked his hands at the guards, pulling the door half closed to the meeting room and pressed his lips to mine.

I wasn’t expecting his kiss but I felt the desperateness in it as he locked an arm around my waist and slid his hand into my hair. My hands fisted his shirt over his hips, moving my lips slowly against his. I didn’t want to let him go but I knew there were still guards around and the meeting room full of alphas and betas.

Pulling back I look up at Ryder, completely breathless as he sways forward and presses his head against mine. “I was going to come up and see you soon. What are you doing down here?”

“I wanted to go and do some training.” He froze slightly when the words left me mouth and I prepared myself for the battle when he said no to me.

Ryder pulls his forehead back and scans the guards and the meeting room again. With a deep sigh he tilts his head towards Maxon. They whisper to each other before they give a single nod to each other. Gently his hand moves down to grip mine, our fingers intertwining.

Nervously I turn back to see Maxon talking to the alphas and betas as they watched Ryder and I walk away from the room, Cole following behind us. “What are we doing?”

“We’re going training.” He says simply to me like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

A smile still crossed me face as I realised that he was going to come with me. He hadn’t seen me train since the first day when he taught me to actually shoot the arrow. I did feel slightly restricted in my freedom but I was still happy that he was coming with me.

With Ryder standing by my side all the guards took another couple of steps back further and Cole fell in with Reynolds who was now more than a meter behind us.

“We’re leaving the castle after lunch time.” Ryder says suddenly as we step down onto the castle lawns. “There’s a funeral being held for the wolves that died in the fight. It’s held in the town square and there will be a sort of party afterwards that celebrates their life and the duty they did for our country.”

“How many wolves died?” I blocked Ryder from my mind because I felt that it was my fault that they had lost their lives. I didn’t want him to hear those thoughts.

Ryder didn’t need to hear my thoughts to know what direction they went in. He heard it in my voice. His hand squeezes around mine as he pulls as to a stop in the middle of the castle grounds.

“Please don’t blame yourself.” He said softly, his hand reading up to caress my cheek. “You wanted to be alone and you deserved to have that right without feeling that you were in trouble. Thy died because of George, he’s the only one to blame in all this. Remember that.”

“Ok,” Nodding at him I allowed his lips to move against mine again.

Ryder was nervous about being out here. I was at risk and the only way he would feel truly calm is if we we’re both locked in the suite.

Reaching the target field, all the extra guards that were following us, a total of twenty, now spread around the perimeter. Turning my back to let my guards remove their clothes, I’m surprised when I see that Ryder is removing his as well.

“What are you doing?” I was stunned and also heating up as I watched his muscles flex under his exposed skin.

All he did was give me a quick smirk before he shifted and in front of me stood his large salt and peppered wolf. He took a few steps forward and I lifted my hand to run it over his muzzle. I only got one stroke in before he twisted his head and ran his tongue over my palm.

I chuckled as I meet his mischievous hazel eyes. He let out a throaty bark which I passed off as his own laugh as he turned slightly and lowered himself down to his stomach.

“On you get.” His voice echoed through my mind.

“I thought I was training.” Turning I noted that Reynolds was stood close behind me, still in his human form with the bow and arrows in his hand.

“You are.” Ryder says, my attention moving back to him. “I know you’ve been practicing shooting moving targets but to actually fight you need to be able to shoot moving targets while you’re moving yourself.”

My chest tightened as I realised what his words meant. Letting out a deep sigh I take Reynolds hand as I throw my leg over Ryder’s back. Locking my hands into the scruff of his neck, he stands and stretches himself out.

The electric shocks that passed through us whenever we touched were always stronger when he was shifted into his wolf. They felt intense now as I slid myself forward to let my legs fall over the front of his shoulders and get a better a grip for when he started to move.

Suddenly it became very apparent in my head that we hadn’t mated in over three days. I knew that Ryder was feeling the sexual tension as much as I was at the moment. My hands tightened around his fur when he growled at Reynolds for standing to close. I couldn’t tell if my grip was to calm him or because I had felt possessive over my mate as well.

Reynolds backed away, with his hands raised in surrender. I noticed that he was removing his clothes to shift as well but I didn’t have time to see anything before Ryder turned so I was facing a different direction. With a shake of his big head he finally seemed to calm as he trotted closer to the targets and my other guards who were already play fighting.

“If you were to actually fight in a battle you would be secured to Reynolds back. All you would have to do is aim and shoot while he kept you at a safe distance.” Ryder spoke into my mind again.

He was still pacing around, the thumping sound of his heavy paws falling against the earth leaving my body to relax. He had spent the last three days in the room with me, refusing to leave my side. His wolf was happy to be out and get the stretch it needed.

“Not that you’ll be anywhere near a fight if it comes to it.” He added as an afterthought.

Ryder’s words shattered the calm demeanour that had come over my body. Letting out a deep sigh, I tighten my hands into his fur and lock my legs further around the thick muscles, even though I was already steady enough to be able to shoot.

“They’re my wolves as well Ryder. I want to protect them. It’s my job.” My voice was soft as I leant forward to press my cheek to the soft fur near his ear.

This time Ryder reacted to my words with shock. He stopped walking and turned his head further into my touch. He knew I was right and he couldn’t argue with it. If he did, he was contradicting why he ever marked me in the first place. I was created to do this job, him marking me, awoke the instinct inside me to always protect other wolves.

When I heard Ryder’s voice again it was so soft I barely heard it. “It’s my job to protect you and our pups whether you’re carrying them or not. The same as all wolves.”

It was an argument that never ended. Both of us had an instinct to protect others and we could lose our lives doing it. We also had another instinct that we didn’t want either to get hurt at all. None of that would ever change. We just had to live with the conflict.

Pressing a quick kiss to the bare patch above his ear I pull back, ending the discussion. I wanted to train.

Ryder had made a full circle back to the end of the field and now stood facing all five wolf forms of my guards. His shoulders rolled, the muscles flexing all thought his large body as he prepared himself. He wasn’t going to get me in close to the fighting wolves but he was still going to get me close enough that it would be easy enough to still be able to get my aim accurate.

I watched my guards start to do their own form of training as they went at each other, trying very hard to land a bite in on each other. They never hurt the other more than a cut and some missing chunks of fur that would quickly heal back over.

Their moves were precise, feet steady as they calculated their own next move as well as their opponents. Claws and teeth gleamed as the sun beat down open us, highlighting the sharpness of them and showing how much damage they could do if they made contact to your skin.

I hadn’t seen many other wolves fight other than the senior warriors of Ryder’s army but I still knew that my guards and their strength were not to be messed with.

Ryder had been lingering at the end of the field waiting to run into the practiced chaos. I couldn’t see it, but I felt his emotions as his eyes flicked from side to side to see that I was still safely secured to him if he were to suddenly dart into the carnage.

A quick nod of Ryder’s head was the only acknowledgement I received before his claws dug into the dirt and propelled us forward.

“I’m going around the back of Cyrus and Reynolds. I’ll slow down slightly and you take your aim.”

My hand releasing his scruff was the answer he needed to say that I had heard him. I already had my bow in hand and while I tightened my legs further around his neck, I reached back into my satchel to take an arrow. My movements were fast as I bought it forward stringing it up and pulling it back.

Ryder slowed when my eyes looked down the arrow looking for my target. Quickly I took note of the direction of the wind and the speed and direction Ryder was taking me, calculating what direction it would be pulled in before I readjusted my aim and released the string.

Cyrus yelped as the arrow landed in his hind leg but he didn’t stop his attack on Reynolds, his front claws managing to swipe over the practically white fur of his under belly. Reynolds quickly reacted as well spinning and grabbing the arrow in his mouth and dragging it across his side, blood spilling down his side, staining his light fur.

I grimaced at the sight but still reached back to grab another arrow as Ryder speeds up again pulling me over to Cole battling both Theo and Charlie. Charlie was hanging back a bit waiting to help either Theo or Cyrus when they needed the help. It was always the three of them versus me, Reynolds and Cole.

Ryder hadn’t even slowed before I released another arrow, watching to see it land underneath Charlie’s front left leg. He didn’t yelp but he did fall falter slightly before he feel forward, his head snapping to me with a scowl. I don’t even have time to laugh before I was shooting another arrow, allowing it to land right in front of Theo’s back paw. It didn’t hit him where I was aiming but he still jumped and Cole got the upper hand as he shoved his head into his side, the both of them tumbling to the ground.

Ryder chuckled in a throaty laugh and the vibrations flowed through me as he completed the lap and came back around to watch again. I enjoyed training like this. Especially with Ryder.

“Again?” I felt the smirk as his claws dug up more dirt.

“Again,” I repeated my hand already reaching back.

***

“You’re really good gor-Beautiful.” He stuttered slightly, correcting himself before he said the word that I no longer wanted to hear.

“Thank you,” I whispered, giving him a warm smile.

Ryder’s tall body blocked most of the water from the shower head falling in my eyes, so I could easily watch as he slowly moved his hands over my body.

His touch was soft as he rubbed the soap up my arms. His fingers slowly moved over the lasting cuts and scars, hoping that they would heal and disappear under his touch.

A part of me wanted to push his hands away and loop my arms around his neck and let him do whatever he wanted to me. I knew if I did that my body would protest the movements and I’d feel worse later.

How Ryder was holding himself back was oblivious to me. He was projecting his thoughts to me and I could see what he was imaging, the feelings radiated of him and I could physically see his mood through his downstairs member.

Naughty boy.

“What do I have to do at the funeral?” I say trying to distract him. If I let him keep going, I wouldn’t care if I lost limb if I got to do what he was thinking.

Ryder still seems lost on my injuries but his sexual thoughts dim when I bring up the death of some of his wolves. “You just need to be there and pay your respects. You’ll sit at my side while the families give a eulogy, it will be their mates speaking, they look to you and feed from you to speak, and you need to be a strong. Then I’ll say something, we’ll mourn them with silence and then we have a party to celebrate all that they were.”

“That’s really beautiful.”

Ryder scoffs lightly, his hands sliding from my arms down to my waist as he pulls me in tighter to him. “I just hope that it’s the last. I don’t like losing my wolves before it’s their time.”

We stood under the warm water for a little while, my head pressed against Ryder’s chest as I listened to his heartbeat and I allowed him to finish washing my sweat and dirt covered body. If it calmed him, it calmed me.

A faint knock to the bedrooms door bought us out of our serenity. It was Ellie who had come to get me ready, I preferred the comfort and movement of jeans but I was quickly becoming accustomed to the flowy dresses.

Ryder handed me my towel to dry off while he went and opened the door for Ellie to come in. I quickly slipped on my robe before Ellie entered the bathroom. She was already dressed in a cream coloured gown the crossed over her chest and knotted up behind her neck, her hair hanging in loose waves, thin braids holding strands back from her face. Her makeup was radiant, a natural glow to her cheeks.

“What are you so happy about?” I ask her as she instantly gets started on drying my hair.

She shakes her head, a goofy smile on her face. “I’ll tell you in a minute. Ryder is still in the other room getting ready.

Nervously I flicked my eyes up to her, waiting for the sound of Ryder rustling around in the bedroom to stop. It wasn’t long before I heard the door close. I knew Ryder heard what we were talking about and that he was leaving so that we could talk.

Ellie was pulling, my now dry hair up at the base of my neck leaving loose tendrils to frame my face. I watched her with my own small smile. “He’s gone. Are you going to tell me?”

She took a deep breath and met my eyes in the mirror. “I’m going to be a mum.” Her voice shook with tears of happiness.

“Really?” I questioned, my eyes brightening.

I tried to stand up and hug her but her hands push on my shoulders forcing me back to my seat. Ellie had always known that she wanted to be a mother and now it had happened.

“Maxon scented it yesterday on me, but the last time that we actually, you know, was the morning everything happened and through all the chaos we missed it. Max is telling the other guys now.” She’s still smiling and I don’t think anything could make it go away. “Max also told me that you and Ryder are tyring now as well. No pressure but I’m glad that if it does happen that our kids will grow up together like they did.”

“Do you think they’ll both be boys?” After being told I was more likely to have a boy, I realised that I’d prefer one but I also realised that with his doubts about his parenting, Ryder wanted a girl.

“Considering I’m the only girl to be born in to a high rank in over two hundred years, it’s likely. That’s not what I worry about. My genetics give me a higher chance of being pregnant with twins. The heartbeats are to faint to tell if there’s one or two at the moment.” She moved to start on my makeup now.

“You’ll make a great mum of one or twenty kids Ellie.”

After my makeup was finished Ellie helped me into the dress. She had told me that Jordenian tradition was to wear light colours to funerals and memorials and only the families of those who had lost their lives wore dark colours.

The dress covered my back and upper arms with a flowing cape. The detail was amazing and my fingers traced the pattern as Ellie gently placed the ivy leaved crown down onto my head, fixing a few pieces of my hair.

***

My eyes concentrated on one of the mates of the warriors that had passed. Her hands shock as she read from the crumpled paper, she was struggling to speak without crying. Ryder had told me to be strong for them but every word that she spoke about her mate wanted me to burst into tears.

Ryder and I were sat at the back of the stage on a wide seat the comfortably held the both of us. His hand was in my lap, his thumb gently run over the both of my hands that were wrapped around his. He had a soft look on his face, honouring the wolves that had died.

All the women were speaking in Jordenian but I understood most of their words. Ryder sensed that I was close to tears and he turned his head, his breath fanning down my neck. “It’s ok,” he whispered, his hand squeezing mine. “It’s sad they they’re gone but they didn’t die in vain. We’re celebrating all that there were and all the good they did. They never knew you but they wouldn’t want you to be upset, they died protecting their kingdom, their kind and you.”

I had only just held myself together as Ryder stood up to say something, leaving me alone on the seat. The thousand people that were present all took a minute of silence before they all gave howls of respect towards the rising moon.

Ryder stood close by my side as he led me to the back of the stage to meet the mates. He paid them his respects and then turned to look at me. I hadn’t expected to have a long conversation with all of them. I didn’t even care when they seemed to break down to tears and I wrapped an arm around their shoulders, giving them the soothing words that they needed. It was selfish of me to say but I never wanted to be in their position.

“That was harder on you than expected.” We were alone now. Well partially alone if I didn’t count the ten guards that were hanging around us.

“I didn’t expect to feel like this.” My eyes watered but I didn’t let the tears fall.

“You did very well. I felt the respect from the kingdom rise for you. This is the first time they’ve been able to see you and you’ve showed them how perfect of a Luna and a queen you can be.” I smiled at his words, tilting my head back so I can press a quick peck to his lips.

Ryder smirked at me when he pulled back, his hand moving to take mine and pull me towards the party that had started. The atmosphere was very different to what it was an hour ago. Laughter filled the cool air, encased in a cluster of colourful clothing. They were celebrating life.

My eyes followed the swaying material and quickly moving feet before I felt a tug at my arm and my smile dropped. Ryder was still smirking at me as he tried to pull me onto the cobble stoned floor of the towns centre. I couldn’t dance, specifically in front of everybody.

“Ryder,” I shook my head, taking a handful of the soft skirt of the dress, ready to escape his hold.

When I turned around to look for help from my guards they just smile at me and shake their heads. Ellie, who was pulled tightly against Maxon in a protective manor, mouths at me to just go for it. Noticing that a number of people around us are watching the interaction with my mate I allow him to pull me towards the centre of the joyful dancers.

Ryder’s arm winds around my waist, pulling me into him, not caring about the prying eyes. “I don’t like this.”

“Come on baby,” he leant down so close to me that only I could hear him. “I’m going to say this to you for a different reason to what I normally do, but just let go.” His fingers tickled down my side as my cheeks tinted at his words.

My feet were lifted from the ground, Ryder spinning me in a small circle, his lips connecting to mine. My hands moved to cup his neck, holding his lips to mine as applause erupted around us. Ryder lowered me back to my feet, his eyes never leaving mine.

The people all spoke at once, speaking the exact same phrase. Ryder’s breath fanned over my lips as his forehead rested on mine. “What are they saying?”

“With death, comes new life.” Our smiles matched as the meaning of the words sunk in. There was already new life in Ellie’s stomach and judging by what Ryder had told me, it was a sign that my stomach would hold new life soon, as well.