The Kings Mate

After I had blacked out everything was spacey. There were moments that I was floating in darkness, with no sense of up and down. My thoughts were calm and I didn’t feel the pain. I was calm in those moments. When I was pulled from those moments, my body was on fire from the injuries that covered a majority of my limbs.

I couldn’t even scream when the pain became too much and pulled me from my peace. All I could do was groan and tightly grip at whatever I could with my hands and wait for the darkness to return. Those moments were the worst because I couldn’t put a face to the murmurs that I heard around me. I didn’t know if George had come back, or if Ryder had finally found me, or even a random stranger who was helping me or taking advantage of my helplessness.

The drugs were still in my system and if my connection to Ryder had appeared again I wouldn’t have noticed. I couldn’t feel him. All I had were memories to know that he was real and that once I felt normal again he would be by my side.

The strongest pain I felt was one that I hadn’t expected. From what I could tell it didn’t last long but a searing pain shot through my neck as I felt something sharp sink into the sensitive skin of my neck where I knew Ryder’s claim rested, that I had to scream at when I felt the pain.

Darkness still surrounded my but now I’m aware of everything around me and my body. My breathing was rough and laboured and I could finally feel the rise and fall of my chest with it. I could feel a weight around me, heavier in one area and lighter in others but it was there.

I want to open my eyes but they’re too heavy. Forcing all the energy I have to open my eyes, finally I do and I’m not comfortable with what I see. I’m in a room that I don’t recognise. The room was dark but there was still a light behind me, allowing me to make out some of the details of what I could see. I was rested mostly on the left side of my stomach, relieving any pressure from where most of my cuts were.

The walls were a dark grey with a dark wood floor. All I could see without twisting my neck was the light grey doona that was wrapped around my shoulders and the white pillow slip. Across from the bed there’s a rustic wooden desk with black metal legs and books covering the shelves beneath it. Underneath the bed there was a black and white flecked soft fluffy rug that hid the hard floors beneath and it reminded me of Ryder’s fur.

Closing my eyes I try to think of where I might be. There’s a soft weight over my hip now and I notice that its fingers gently brushing over my skin. With the feeling of someone’s touch moving over my skin I take note of the warm breath that fans over my neck and the pressure of something resting against the back of my head.

Words broke through the haze of my mind pulling me out of the darkness I wanted to fall back into. It was Ryder’s voice. My mouth pulled up slightly, as much as it allowed me to, he was reading to me. I didn’t know the story but the soft tone of his voice calmed me. It was laced with worry as well and every few lines I’d feel his lips land around my shoulders.

Ryder’s lips come down again and they land on a sensitive spot and I groan at the pain it sends through my body. When he pulls back this time he doesn’t continue speaking, instead I feel his breathing increase and his body starting to shake lightly.

I wasn’t healing. I could still feel the deep cuts even though they had stopped bleeding and been bandaged, but they were all still there. Ryder shuffles and I can tell he wants to pull me back against his chest but second guesses it, deciding to move his hand to lock around mine.

My breathing speeds up as I try to force something out of my mouth. Ryder tenses again, probably thinking that I’m in pain but I don’t care at the moment. I would feel all the pain in the world just so could cuddle into the safety of his arms now.

“Ryder,” My voice is course and quiet but I know Ryder still would have heard me.

The book fell to the bed with a light thud and soon his hand cups my cheek turning my head slightly. I wince at the movement and Ryder runs his finger along my cheek bone gently. Slowly I open my eyes again and I met the beautiful hazel that I love. Instantly my eyes watered, he shook his head above me and wiped away the few tears that had slipped from my eyes. Even his were watering slightly.

“I’m sorry.” I whisper to him, my voice scratching as I speak.

“Don’t apologise baby.” His hand gently runs along my neck and I wince.

Ryder’s face drops and he pulls away from me, leaning over to pick up something behind him. When he turns back I see a bottle gripped in two of his fingers and his others wrapped around something else. Very gently he slides his arm underneath my shoulder and carefully helped me to sit up, tensing further every time that I winced in pain.

“Take these and you can go back to sleep.” He opened his palm showing me the two tablets he was holding.

“No, I want to talk.” There was so much that I didn’t know that happened when I was out of it. He wasn’t having it though.

“You need to heal.” He counters his fingers tickling over my skin again.

“I want to go to our room.”

Ryder sighs deeply and looks away from me to the two double doors that lead out of the room. They’re open slightly letting in the warm light from the other room. “It needs repairing.” He says turning back to me. “My wolf was unsettled and I broke some things up there.”

Falling against his side I rest my head on his shoulder, trying to relish in the feeling of the tingles that I had missed. They were dull but they were there. “Where are we then?”

Taking the two tablets I drink half of the water before I hand it back to Ryder. “This is my old room. It’s only just down the hall. Come on. Get some sleep we can talk when you’re feeling better.”

He hadn’t attempted to release his hold on me at all and I didn’t want to let go of him either. He tries to help me back down to my original position but I shake my head and loop my arm around his neck.

“Don’t let me go.”

With an exhale he lies down on his back, pulling me with him. Resting against his chest relieves all the pain from my body. Eventually he gets his arms around me and holding me to him without any pain. “I’m not letting you out of my sight until you’re better and sorry to say you’re not leaving Reynolds sight until the rebels are dead.” I groan and he chuckles, a hand stroking through my hair. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” I say to him as I feel his warm breathe against my forehead, welcoming me back to the darkness.

Waking up again I feel stiff. Every muscle was tight and even something simple like turning my head hurts. Opening my eyes I see that I’m alone in the bed but I can feel Ryder close. He’s stood over by the doors into the room talking to Reynolds, Cole and Maxon.

“The Alpha’s understand that you can’t meet with them.” Maxon said to Ryder.

Ryder groaned and slipped his hands up over his face. He was distressed, I could feel it. Our connection was back. Pulling the sheets up around my shoulders, to cover that I was mostly naked beneath them, I watch the interaction between my mate and his friends.

“I don’t want to leave her alone till they’re all dead.” Ryder’s voice was mostly a growl and I saw that he was shaking a little.

“Dad and Nick are scenting them.” Cole says his eyes flicking towards Maxon quickly before they move back to Ryder. “Every time they get a trace on them, they move in a different direction.”

Ryder growls lightly in the back of his throat. Reynolds pushes himself up from his leaning position against the door and claps Ryder on the shoulder. “We’ll get him.” He murmurs to him before his eyes move to me and he smiles gently. “Lottie’s awake.”

All of them turned towards me when Reynolds said that, but my eyes stay on my mate. Ryder steps into the room and shuts the door as the others start to walk away with a nod of their head to him. He was still only wearing a pair of shorts as he sat down on the edge of the bed, his hand moving up to push my hair back.

“Feeling better?”

Reaching out to take his hand, I wrap my fingers around his. “I do, but I feel really stiff.”

Nodding his head once, he gets up from the bed, dropping my hand. “Let’s go have a nice warm bath and then we can talk.”

“I’m hungry.” I say to him as he slips his arm under my shoulders and one under my knees’.

Ryder chuckles but doesn’t stop his path to the bathroom. “I’ll get someone to bring us something. Anything you want?”

“Chips, buttered bread and tomato sauce.”

Gently I’m lowered to a wooden stool beside the white freestanding bath. Ryder shakes his head moving to the matte black taps and turning on the water and adding in a scented soap. “You really are British aren’t you?”

He moves back in front of me kneeling down and taking my arm as I smile at him. I was only in my underwear but most of my body was covered in white bandages. Ryder’s face was tense as he slowly un-wrapped the one up my left arm.

“They gave you a drug called wolfsbane. There was only a small amount of it actually in there but it also had a number of sedatives that knocked out all your senses and made you feel sick if you tried to use them.” His voice was quiet, mostly talking to himself.

When the bandage is gone and I see my arm I feel bile rise in my stomach. My entire arm is red and the skin is open in some areas and held together with a few blue stitches. Looking up to Ryder, I see his jaw clench tightly as he softly moves his fingers up over the marks on my skin.

“I’m okay.” I say softly to him, moving my arm out of his worrying hold.

He shakes his head at me, pulling my arm back into his hold. He doesn’t lose the tight look on his face as he gently caresses the open wounds of my skin. “You lost so much blood you should have died without the connection to my wolf to help you heal.” Shaking his head again he moves to the other arm to remove the other bandage. “The wounds are so deep. He’s also torn at your muscle. There’s a chance they won’t heal properly and it’ll leave a scar. You’re not okay.”

Frowning I watch as he intently stares at my arms almost willing the wounds to go away but they weren’t hurting me. “You don’t mind that do you?”

I knew however all the wounds healed he wouldn’t ever make me feel self-conscious about them, even though it’s the direction he’s moving in now. I hadn’t seen him this angry since he first found out about Henry.

Ryder chuckles humourlessly his hands sliding down my arms to take my hands. “No but they’re a reminder that I wasn’t there to help you.” His voice is emotionless as he removes the bandages from my legs as well. They weren’t as bad but Ryder had to take a deep breathe to calm himself.

“Are you going to at least smile when you take my underwear off.” A small smile pulled at my lips as I tried to get his thoughts on something else.

Already it seemed to work as he smirked, his hands moving up to the back clasp of my bra. While he slides it off, he pulls me to my feet so my chest presses against his. It takes a second for his lips to press to mine, as I’m overwhelmed with the electric shocks of having him pressed to me. One had rested between my shoulder blades while the other hooked around the side of my underwear, pulling them off before he lifts me from the ground and into the warm bath water.

He apologises when I wince at the stinging feeling as the water hits my wounds. Once I’m fully immersed in the water I let out a shaky breathe and Ryder’s eyes move nervously over me. The stinging feeling lasts for only a few seconds before the warmth and scents relax my stiff muscles.

Ryder sits on the floor beside me, one arm lent on the edge of the bath tub. He just sits there smiling at me before someone knocks on the door. Quickly he stands up and returns with a tray of my food and instantly my stomach rumbled seeing it.

Chuckling Ryder pulled the stool over and placed the tray down beside me. Leaning forward I start to make my chip sandwich, trying not to blush as Ryder removes his shorts and slips into the water behind me.

Ryder’s hands moved over my hips and to my stomach before he pulled them back again. Savouring the first few bites of my food I settle back against Ryder’s chest, welcoming the previously lost connection between us.

Slowly placing more chips onto another piece of bread, I ask one of the questions I’ve wanted to know since I first woke up. “Did you hurt Travis?”

His hands tightened around my waist, gripping me more securely as I bought up the man that took me away from him. “I didn’t hurt him. You for some reason didn’t want me to and if it was the last thing you ever asked me to do, I didn’t want to betray it. He is no longer part of the royal guard however.”

“He was trying to save his mate Ryder. You did everything to get me back and he did the same thing.” Ryder looked away from me, his eyes flicking to the ceiling. He didn’t want to admit that I was right but he knew that I was.

Turning back he raises his eyebrows at me. “He betrayed his kingdom. He risked your life.” When he noticed that I wasn’t happy with his words he sighed deeply and loosened his touch a little. “He can work his way up again if he wants.”

“What about everything else?” The last time, I could make sense of the time was yesterday morning, before Travis had drugged me and from what George had told me he had planned to execute a lot in the time from then to when I woke up.

This time his eyes moved down. “We lost a few wolves. No one expected their numbers was that large but luckily we had the other alphas and their fighters. We would have lost a lot more if we hadn’t.”

“Do you think he’ll come back?” I ask him as I pick up a chip dipping it into the sauce.

“He?” Ryder asked me. “Did someone in particular hurt you?” There was an undertone to his voice that told me he already knew who did it.

“George.” I whisper, saying his name makes me as nervous as what Henry’s does.

Ryder growls and I slip lightly and he has to steady me. “I’m sorry. His brother is the Alpha of the biggest and strongest pack in Jordena but he thought he deserved the title more.” He froze as if a thought just came to him. “He lost his mate in a fight with his brothers’ pack.”

The warmth of his palm flattening out and running across my stomach should have calmed me but instead I was freaking out. I didn’t want him to know what George’s plans were but I was stupid to think that Ryder wouldn’t ask why my stomach and chest were clear of any cuts.

“Lottie, he didn’t do anything else to you did he?” his voice was tense. No matter what I answered I knew that he would be angry with my answer either way.

“He didn’t do anything. He said he wanted his own heir though and that my genes would make it strong, he didn’t want to risk hurting me.”

When tears fell from my eyes Ryder shook his head at me both of his arms wrapping around my stomach, he’s knees pulling up so I was encased in his hold. He took a shaky breath before I feel his lips gently press against the back of my head.

“Don’t cry. Please don’t cry. It kills me inside when you cry.” He whispers against my hair before he moves closer to my ear. “Sorry for the language but he’s a fucking, asshole, prick. Even more so than that other guy that hurt you and the next time you see him will be when I have him, lying dead at your feet.”

Dropping my hands over his I grip them tightly. “I don’t want to see that but it’s the thought that counts. Thank you.”

Ryder chuckles, his lips pressing to my mark and I shudder lightly at the feeling. “And you didn’t even have to bat your eyelashes.”

Laughing lightly, I sink further into his touch, just wanting him to hold me now. His hands massaged my skin helping it to pull back together. Once the water turns cold he lifts me out of the bathtub, placing me back down on the stool in a thick towel while he wrapped my limbs back up. I don’t want him to do it but he told me if they got infected they’d take longer to heal.

“He can’t even get me pregnant can he?” We were back in his old bed now and I was just wearing a shirt of his and my underwear.

Ryder told me he had to leave to talk to the other Alpha’s but I pulled him down into the bed with me. I could see that he needed sleep. There were deep bags under his eyes and he was moving slower than what I was used to.

“No,” He growled, his arm tightening around me. “There is one way, but I’d have to be dead and he would have to do a lot that you don’t need to know about.”

A slight shake took over my body and I nuzzled in further to Ryder’s body. Even though I doubted that George would ever be able to hurt Ryder, the thought of ever carrying someone other than Ryder’s child scared me.

“Ryder,” I say softly. His breathing had evened out and I thought he had fallen asleep but I still wanted to talk to him.

“Hmm,” he replied, shifting lightly as I woke him.

“Did Reynolds tell you what I talked to him about before I wanted to be alone?” The room was dark but I was still nervous to look in Ryder’s direction, afraid to see what emotion his face showed.

“He didn’t want to. My wolf was on edge enough as it was that you were gone but I made him. If you want to start trying Lottie so do I. It will only take day or two for the birth control to work its way out of your system.” He turned so I was looking at him. Despite being in a dark room I could see that he was looking at me with a soft smile.

“What about the rebels? It’s not a good time.” He sighed and smiled as his chest shook lightly with a laugh.

“This is our life, not theirs. Always remember that. We will go through shitty times with our kingdom and we can’t stop living our lives and doing what we want because of it. Given past situations you might find it hard to believe but I can protect you and any pup you carry. Reynolds, Cyrus, Theo and Charlie will never leave your side.” His hands moved delicately over my hips as he spoke.

Moving my fingers over his naked chest, I flatten my palm out so I can feel the beat of his heart. “What about you? Is it something that you want now as well?”

Ryder shifts again, the nerves vibrate off him as I wait patiently for him to reply. “Riley thinks she’s found a way to weaken the pup so it won’t hurt you without effecting its growth but it’d be completely experimental.”

I listened to his words, he seemed hesitant to continue and he took a deep breathe before he leaned over and turned on the beside lamp so he could see me properly. He raised a hand to run his thumb over my cheek bone and his eyes searched my face.

“You asked Reynolds if you’d make a good mother, which I have no doubt you will, but given my influence,” his jaw clenched and he ran his thumb back over my cheek again. “I don’t know if I’ll make a good father.”

Looking up from underneath my eyelashes I shake my head at him. “You’ll be nothing like your father Ryder. I’ve seen you with Elijah. I wouldn’t want to have kids with anybody else.” My voice cracks as I hold back tears.

Ryder’s hand slips back so he can slide it into my hair. With a soft smile he pulls me into him so he can press his lips against mine. His kiss is light and filled with utmost love as he moves his hand to slide it over my stomach beneath his shirt.

Turning off the light he pulls me back in closer to him, his lips reconnecting with mine. “Please don’t tell any of the guys or anyone that I told you that.”

Chuckling I place my hand over his that isn’t hinting at ever moving from my stomach. “You’re so cute.”

Ryder growls lightly but still leans forward and presses a quick kiss to my lips. “Go to sleep. I love you.”

“I love you too.” I say with a laugh. He falls asleep before I do, his hand continuing to massage over my stomach, even in his sleep. I’d always known he’d make a great father and it made me sad that he didn’t believe that.

When I wake up again the sun is shining through the gap in the grey curtains behind the bed. I can feel that most of the cuts on my body had healed even though I still felt tense in some areas. Turning my head I look at Ryder who was still asleep. I knew he hadn’t slept the entire time I was out of it and now he was only just catching up on it.

I was reminded of our conversation just before we fell asleep as his hand moved over my stomach again. I’d completely repositioned myself against him in my sleep but somehow he had managed to still find my stomach and hold it in a protective manor.

Gently prying his arm from around me I slip out of the bed. Ryder groaned and shifted in the bed noticing my absence but he didn’t wake up. Slowly standing up from the bed, I take a few steps with my hand stretched out to my side, ready to steady myself if I were to fall.

Once I was steady on my legs I walked towards the closet hoping to find something that I could change into. The rails were full of his clothes but there were some of mine folded up on the cushioned stool in the middle. Grabbing a pair of jeans and a bra I slip them on, over the bandages.

I didn’t want to leave Ryder alone, since he didn’t leave me, but I wanted to get out of this room and I knew he needed to sleep. Giving him a look I open the door to see what’s on the other side. When I see that it’s a living area with a large lounge and a dining table I sigh in relief especially when I see Reynolds on the lounge watching the television.

Leaving the door open, so Ryder can sense me when he wakes up, I walk over to the lounge. When I sink down into the soft cushions, I chuckle lightly at Reynolds. He was passed out and snoring lightly, his long hair was all tangled and he tightened his arms across his chest.

Pushing on his shoulder, I’m barely able to move his weight. His eyebrows furrow and he just cracks his eyes open to look at me. He breathes in deeply before he closes his eyes again and sinks further into the pillows.

“Morning mumma, how are you feeling?” He whispers, a smirk pulling at his lips.

“I’m a bit sore but other than that fine. Did Ryder talk to you?” Nervously I started to pick at the bandages. They were itchy and I just wanted them gone but I knew that I had to keep them on for now.

When I said those words he opened his eyes and looked at me with a soft smile on his face. “I told him what you told me, but did you talk to him about it last night?”

“I did,” I cover my face when he gives me a big smile. “We’re going to start trying.”

“You know what? I never expected to have a friendship like this with Ryder’s mate. I always knew that I’d be your main guard and I hoped you weren’t some bitch.” I scoffed at his words and he smiled warmly as he continued. “You’re the sister I never had though.”

My eyes sting as he takes my hand gently rubbing his thumb over my knuckles. I didn’t even notice that Ryder was awake until I felt his weight fall down on the other side of me and wrap an arm around my waist and rested his head on my shoulder.

“Mine,” he growls lightly.

Reynolds shakes his head but still releases my hand and settles him back in to the soft pillows. There was some Jordenian TV show playing and I watched it for a short while until I realised that Ryder hadn’t fallen back asleep and he was just resting against me.

“Are you okay?” I run my fingers along the bags beneath his eyes.

“Yeah, Riley’s coming in soon to have a look at your cuts and she’s also going to bring prenatal vitamins.” I feel my heart clench for a second and Ryder gives me a curious look, “If it’s something that you still really want to do.”

“It is.” A grin replaces Ryder’s frown and he squeezes my waist.

“Awe I’m going to be an uncle.” Reynolds leans into my back wrapping his long arms around both me and Ryder. “Can we name it Reynolds?”

“Go away,” Ryder groans as I chuckle.

“What mate, it’s a good name, and it’s probably going to be a boy anyway.” My head turns to look at Reynolds when he says that. I was curious to what he was talking about.

“Isn’t it a fifty, fifty chance of it either being a girl or a boy?”

“In theory yes, but remember when I took you to the hall of Kings and queens?” I nodded my head at him as Reynolds finally released us and settled back to his original seat. “Pretty much all of them had one son didn’t they? There’s a chance it could be a girl but given my genetic line it will most likely be a boy.”

His fingers moved over my stomach and I meet his eyes as he stared at me intently. Placing my hand over his and pulling further over my stomach where a pup will hopefully grow someday. A tiny smile grew and he looked down at our joined hands.

“A little mini you.” I whispered as I leant forward to press a kiss to his forehead.

He hums at me, closing his eyes as he nestles his face in closer to my neck so he can breathe in my scent more. A few minutes later Riley enters the room with Heidi right behind her. Both of the guys jump at Heidi’s abrupt entrance but quickly settle back into their original spots. They were both tired and right now I hoped they would both just relax and get the sleep they needed.

A pregnant and flustered looking Heidi sits down on the coffee table next to Riley. She gives my old career a soft smile and a shake of her head before she reaches out to take have a look at my arm.

“When you marry the king of a country, I expect you to be safe not get kidnapped by a crazy, psychotic werewolf.” She huffed out her hand running over her larger stomach. My jaw dropped at her words. “That’s right I know.”

Ryder raises his eyebrows at Heidi’s outburst before he turns to look at me. “I want her to be a part of your life. It was something she needed to know.”

“I thought I was going to go into labour when some guy turned into a huge wolf in front of me.” Her words contain all the sass I’m used to from her but her eyes move warily over Riley as she cuts away at the stitches in my arm leaving me to wince at every pull of the string.

“Sorry Heidi but I don’t think you would have believed us if we didn’t show you.”

Heidi gives him a look and he shifts uncomfortably as his arm tightens around my waist. Her eyes flick back to me with a soft look. “At least I know that with this mate bond thing that he’ll always love and protect you. What about kids? They told me that there was a high chance that you were supposed to get pregnant when you went through a heat but it didn’t happen.”

Reynolds was no longer in the room now as Ryder made him leave when Riley had to remove my jeans to attend to the wounds on my legs. Somehow I think that Heidi was more protective than Ryder at the moment as she eyes every move that Riley made towards me. At least Ryder could relax having a hold on me.

“I’m ready. We’re going to start trying soon.” I say smiling at her as Riley gives me an all clear on my legs and arms and moves to get started on my back.

Sliding my jeans back on, Ryder pulls me onto his lap and Riley moves behind me as she lifts up the back of my shirt and unclasps my bra so she can get better access. Ryder sensing that I was growing uncomfortable with a touch other than his and started distracting me.

“If you wouldn’t mind keeping it to yourself Heidi, it’ll be much safer for Lottie if only a few people knew.” His hand massages over my thigh and I feel myself relax despite his words.

Heidi nods her head and moves to sit in front of me. She takes my hand and takes a deep breathe before exhaling and making me do the same thing. I don’t know if she heard my racing heart or noticed the slight shake my hands had taken but she had sensed that I was uncomfortable as well.

Maternal instinct.

She was my role model of the perfect mother to me. She made me want to wrap my arms around my stomach and protect something that wasn’t even there yet.

Soon.