The Howl

Setting my head against the door, I took a deep, calming breath. The distance I’d put between Fenris and me did nothing to alleviate the hunger that started in my middle and radiated right into my bones. The hunger didn’t care that I liked Fenris as a person. My hunger didn’t discriminate. It didn’t think of the consequences. It only wanted to be fed. Anyone would do.

The sudden pounding from the other side of the door made me jump.

“Eliana?” Fenris called. “I need to know you’re okay.”

There was honest concern in his voice, and I felt terrible for causing it. Of course he had been worried that he’d smelled blood. Any nice person would be.

“I’m fine,” I said, my mouth close to the wood panel. “Go home.”

There was a thump on the door, followed by the muffled sound of his voice, but I couldn’t make out what he was saying.

“It works better if you open the door,” Mrs. Quill said from behind me.

I startled for the second time but didn’t turn to face her. How had sneaking into the house gone so wrong?

“I’m sorry I disturbed you, Mrs. Quill,” I said. “Everything’s fine here.”

There was a moment of silence before she spoke.

“Eliana, turn around.”

I wrinkled my nose and turned to face her. Her sad gaze locked with mine.

“Sweetie, it breaks my heart to see you like this.”

I smiled and glanced down at my arms, purposely misunderstanding her.

“The scrapes aren’t that deep,” I said. “I promise I’m fine. Fenris is fine, too. He just smelled my blood and was worried. I should really clean this up. I’ll see you in the morning.”

I fled before she could stop me.

Back in my room, I avoided my reflection and stripped from the dress to take care of all the scrapes. If I were well-fed, they probably would have healed already. But I wasn’t. So I dabbed the cuts and tried not to pay attention to my heightened eyesight. It wasn’t easy when every pore and fine line in my skin stood out so vividly.

Thankfully, Mrs. Quill didn’t come to my room to press me further, and I changed into my pajamas in peace. I was grateful for the home she and Mr. Quill opened to me, but I didn’t need another well-intentioned lecture on feeding myself. I needed understanding. I needed Megan.

Glancing at the clock, I debated. She’d only left this morning, and I didn’t want to be the needy type of friend who would bug her hours after leaving. Talking to her could wait until tomorrow.

Knowing it would be a long time before I fell asleep, I cautiously opened the door to the entertainment room and went to the refrigerator.

With a bowl of double-chocolate brownie chunk ice cream in my lap, I did my best to drown my sorrows and soothe my hunger. However, the horribly unrealistic vampire movies filled with the blood and action that I usually loved did nothing to distract me, and my hunger continued to plague me.

By midnight, I had a stomach ache from too much ice cream and a heavy heart. Setting the empty container aside, I reached for my phone and dialed Megan. She picked up after a few rings.

“You officially broke your promise,” I said. “It’s after midnight. You said you would check in daily, and I didn’t get a call yesterday.”

“The day I left doesn’t count,” she said with a laugh in her voice.

“Sure, start bending the rules already. So, what’s it like having freedom?”

I heard a rustle on the other end of the phone.

“Knock it off,” she said, slightly muffled.

“Do I even want to know what Oanen’s doing?” I asked.

“Not Oanen. A brownie named Piepen is messing around with some guy’s eye.”

I sat up.

“A brownie?”

“Yeah, long story.”

“I’ve got time.”

“I let him out of a cage, and now he’s following me.”

In the background, I heard a high-pitched voice claim he wasn’t following her but helping her. Then a lower voice argued about who got to take care of Megan’s house. I started to snicker.

Less than twenty-four hours out of Uttira and Megan already had creatures fighting over her.

“Two of them?” I asked. “What are you going to do with two?”

“One’s a brownie, and one’s a goblin. And I have no idea.”

“They’re not going to like the hotel or the car. They’re much happier in real homes,” I said.

“She sounds nice,” the high-pitched voice said. “I like her.”

“Aw! Isn’t he sweet,” I said.

“Stop,” Megan said. “He can hear you, and I think you’re going to give him a heart attack. What’s wrong with hotels?”

I listened to the outrage from the goblin and grinned wider.

“Tell them to come to Uttira. You’ll be happier, and so will they. I’ll feed them both for you,” I offered, liking the idea of having something to do outside of schoolwork and boredom.

“Are you sure?” she asked.

“Yep. It’ll be fine. Tell the goblin I’ll have a bowl of honey-soaked oats waiting for him at your house,” I said.

She gave them directions, and I listened to her tell the goblin that he needed to protect the brownie and not eat his wings. I cringed at that. Brownie wings were a delicacy I would never understand.

“It sounds like you’ve had an eventful first day,” I said.

“You have no idea. I just woke up in an abandoned warehouse after eating a janky burger at a questionable bar. And the goblin I just sent your way knows who did it, but he’s bound by a spell that won’t let him speak. Like the library. However, according to the brownie, the goblin will be able to talk in a few days because I’m his new master.”

I thought of the secrecy spell that bound the people who read anything in the library they were referencing. But, all spells had limits and loopholes, especially the secrecy one.

“I’ll call you if he says anything about who his previous master was,” I said.

“Thank you. And watch yourself around them. Oanen said they wouldn’t hurt me, but Elbner, the goblin, seems sketchy.”

“Did he make you mad?” I asked, knowing her fury sense was on point for spotting wickedness.

“Surprisingly, no.”

“Then I’m sure he’ll be fine.”

In the background, an eagle’s cry split the air.

“I better go,” Megan said. “Oanen’s coming, and I need to check on the guy Elbner knocked out.”

“What guy?”

“I’ll tell you later.”

The line went dead, and I tossed my phone aside. While Megan was obviously dealing with her own issues, I couldn’t help but feel disappointed that she hadn’t asked how I was doing. But, what would I have really said? That I was doing awful because she’d left and I had no one to talk to about how hungry I was? That it felt like the hunger was eating me from the inside?

Sighing, I turned toward the balcony windows and blindly stared out at the darkness.

No, there was no need to involve Megan in my misery when there wasn’t anything she could do about it.

I stifled a yawn and studied my makeup. Although I’d kept it natural, the cosmetics still enhanced my features far more than I was comfortable. Makeup always attracted attention I didn’t want. Yet, it was a necessary evil. Especially today. It helped hide the dark circles under my eyes so I didn’t look as tired as I felt.

As I stared at myself, my eyes flooded with black then back to brown again. I wrinkled my nose and turned away from my reflection. Why couldn’t my body just cooperate with my brain? I didn’t want to feed. Ever. End of story. My hunger needed to get on board with my life plan of normalcy.

Hoping to distract my body, I went downstairs for some real food. However, instead of finding a deliciously toasted bagel waiting for me, I found Adira.

I paused at the sight of both her and Mrs. Quill sitting at the dining room table. They wore twin, serious expressions that I knew had nothing to do with them being siblings.

Oanen had called me after Megan, last night, and explained that their investigation into the dying trolls was dangerous to Megan. She wasn’t acting like her normal, angry self, and he needed me to get the goblin to talk as soon as he got here.

I’d never asked if he’d told the Council, but based on the solemn expressions of the two women before me, I was guessing he had. Adira’s next words confirmed it.

“We’d like to discuss what happened last night,” she said.

“Did Megan get drugged again?” I asked, hurrying to sit.

“Again?” Mrs. Quill asked. “When was Megan drugged?”

“Last night.” With a sinking feeling, I looked from her to Adira.

“We were unaware of that,” Adira said. “But I will be sure to contact Oanen for the details. For now, I’d like to discuss why you entered this house with visible signs of hunger you refused to acknowledge when Anwen confronted you.”

Annoyed, I fisted my hands under the table.

“Mrs. Quill didn’t confront me. She asked me to turn around; then she showed concern. I hear that’s a typical reaction when you care about someone who’s been hurt. And, I was when pushing my way through the bushes. As for my eyes, you know as well as I do that a succubus’s eyes change for more than hunger. Fenris wasn’t leaving, and I’m a teenager prone to mood swings. For as old as you are, none of this is new to you.”

Adira said nothing for a moment as she studied me, and I fought not to fidget under her scrutiny.

Since coming to Uttira, I’d followed the rules and done what I’d been told. Until Megan came. She’d changed things, not just for me but for the other creatures in Uttira. Now, Adira’s feelings about those changes were plain to see in the slight crease between her brows.

“Megan’s influence continues to spread,” she said finally.

“A good thing, I should think,” I said. “No one wants a meek succubus running around. It’s not part of our inherent nature.”

Adira gave me a slight nod.

“Very true. Your mother will be happy to hear you’re standing up for yourself.”

I almost cringed at the mention of my mom.

“To help you embrace this burgeoning boldness, I’ve updated the left side of your closet. Please go upstairs and change before you leave for the Academy. I’ll check in on you later today.”

She disappeared abruptly.

“I’ll fix you something to eat,” Mrs. Quill said gently before leaving as well.

Alone, I leaned forward and let my forehead thump to the table.

Today was going to be a new level of hell, thanks to my big mouth. I didn’t have the pebbles that Megan had to stand up to Adira. Why had I even tried?

The phone in the pocket of my skirt chirped, and I pulled it out to see a text from Fenris.

The car’s still fine. Not Megan’s house, though. Still looks like it should be burned to the ground.

I rolled my eyes and pocketed my phone again. Megan’s family home was the complete opposite of the Quills’. In the wrong light, it looked two seasons away from condemnation. In the right light, it didn’t look much better. It wasn’t nice for Fenris to say so, though.

Knowing there was no point in putting it off, I went back to my room and looked at my closet. Gone were the cute, knee-length dresses I favored. In their place were tops and jeans. I closed my eyes before looking again, confused at the extremely non-sexy clothing options.

Grateful it wasn’t filled with a bunch of barely-there dresses, like the right side, I grabbed a pair of jeans with a white blouse and went to change. I realized the mistake in my thinking as soon as I tugged the jeans up. They were clingy. Every slight curve I had was on display. The top, while flowy, was see-through. I went to grab a cami to layer under it but found the drawer filled with lacy bralettes. Adira had left me nothing to use as layers for modesty.

After searching the closet for several minutes, my only solution was a bralette under two shirts. Doubling the material made it mostly opaque. Satisfied, I went for my shoes and groaned at the options. All I now owned were hooker heels.

I seethed for a moment then strapped a red pair on. A glance in the mirror told me I looked amazing. Hot as heck, even.

“Worst day ever,” I said to myself before grabbing my jacket and heading downstairs.

A chocolate chip bagel with chocolate hazelnut spread waited for me in the dining room. I devoured it, grateful to Mrs. Quill, then hurried out the door before she could see my two shirts. If I got to school quickly enough, maybe I could avoid being spotted by the majority of my peers, too.

While hiding in the first session’s classroom would help my morning, I knew I’d need to leave it eventually. I hated that I’d be seen like this. Well, hate was a strong word. I loved the clothes; I just didn’t love what would happen when I wore them around other people.

My phone chirped again.

I looked at the new message from Fenris.

We should repaint for Megan. You in?

And spend days with Fenris in the process? The answer was easy.

No. She likes her house the way it is.

Checking my mirror, I backed out of the garage while ignoring my once again black eyes. I didn’t make it far before I knew I had to pull over to remove my shoes. Wriggling my toes and using my blinker, I shook my head at what my mom’s reaction would be if she ever found out I couldn’t drive in heels. Hooker heels were a succubus’s standard accessory. They made a person’s backside look amazing. And, that was exactly why I avoided wearing them.

I pulled through the Girderon Academy gates ten minutes ahead of my usual time and found the parking lot still fairly empty. Relieved, I hurried to park then opened my door so I had more room to put my heels back on.

The glossy red toe stood out starkly against the snow. Adira was insane for making me go to school in these. My feet would freeze just getting into the building because no one had shoveled the parking lot yet.

“Those are new.”

The nearby, abrupt words made me jump.

“Sweet baby Jesus in a strawless manger, Fenris, you scared me,” I said, scowling up at him. “You need a bell.”

He wore his usual crooked smile that made all the girls go crazy. When he added a chuckle to it, my stomach dipped and heat flooded my middle. I knew he was in danger before my vision even sharpened.

I looked away quickly and shoved the strap of my heel through the clasp before standing.

“I better get inside.” I moved to step past him, but he shadowed me. Despite the heels, he was still a good four inches taller than me, bringing my nose to his throat.

Another car pulled into the parking lot, and Fenris’s name was called by three different she-wolves. Having grown up together in his pack, they knew him well and were always clinging to him, each hoping to be the one whose scent he caught when he succumbed to his mate run. Megan referred to them as his her-herd. I knew she thought their devotion to him was pathetic, but I pitied them. And him. They were all slaves to their instincts.

He waved at them but didn’t move away from me. Gaze locked on his shirt, I waited.

His scent, always so flooded with lust, changed subtly. He had to be getting close to his mate run. The way he smelled now was positively mouthwatering.

I started mouth breathing in an attempt to calm down, but I knew it was already too late for that.

“Seriously, Fenris, I need to go.”

“I know. You always seem to be rushing somewhere, which is why I came over here. I wanted to make sure you were okay after last night. I didn’t like smelling all that blood.”

I almost snorted. He made it sound like I’d been bleeding out.

“I had a few scratches. It probably smelled like more to you than it was. Sensitive nose and all. Can I go now?”

In the silence that followed, I was tempted to peek up at him to see why he wasn’t answering. But if I did that, he’d see my eyes and know what was happening to me. And I really didn’t want him to know. It would be beyond embarrassing for the most alpha wolf in this school to think I was hungry for him. Heck, it would be embarrassing for any of the students to think I was hungry for them.

“Fenris?” I asked, growing a little panicked and desperate.

I heard him breathe in deeply and wanted to cringe. Great, now he probably knew he was making me nervous, too. Stupid werewolf nose.

“I really wanted to talk to Lucas before class,” I added.

“Yeah. Sure. I’ll see you at lunch.”

He stepped aside, and I made a beeline for the door, not even slipping once. While I knew I had insane skills when it came to heels, I didn’t want other people to know. So, I slowed to a power walk once I was inside and headed to Human Studies.

Lucas Flavian, the teacher, looked up from his papers.

“Good morning, Eliana. You’re early today.”

“Yep.” I settled into my desk with a sigh.

“Anything wrong?”

“I’m just absorbing the peace until chaos descends,” I said.

He smiled and nodded.

“It does get a little crazy in here at times. If you ever need to step out, you know you can.”

I nodded and turned my gaze to the clock.

“Hey, Eliana,” Eugene said, sliding into the desk beside mine a few minutes later.

“Since when do you need to take Human Studies?” I asked with a frown.

“Since this morning. Adira said she’d be changing up my schedule so that I can get to know the students and faculty before settling me into a human schedule.”

“Ah.” I doubted very much that Adira was changing his schedule for his benefit. After rejecting the opportunity to feed from him last night then coming home hungry afterward, Eugene was likely here to tempt me.

“Would you happen to have Self-paced Science and Algebra after this?” I asked.

“Nope. I aced out of both of those. I’m in Self-Discovery next. Sounds fun, right?”

I sighed and leaned toward him as more students entered the room.

“No, Eugene. Nothing here is fun. It’s dangerous.”

“Adira said that while I’m on school grounds, nothing can kill me.”

“She’s right about that, but there are things worse than death, Eugene. Don’t forget that.”

He paled a little and nodded as Belemina, two desks up, laughed and flashed her fangs back at us.

“Worse than death? Don’t be dramatic, Eliana. Your little human would exist in a constant state of bliss with some of us.”

“And without any thoughts of his own. A slave to compulsions he wouldn’t be able to fight.”

“He wouldn’t want to fight them.” Her gaze shifted to Eugene. “I’ll give you a taste if you want.”

“Uh…no, thanks,” Eugene said, looking right at her.

I pinched his arm.

“Ow!” He scowled at me. “I thought you were the nice one.”

“First rule to ensuring you’re not being compelled is to avoid eye-contact,” I reminded him. “You need to spend more time with Ashlyn.”

“We’re hanging out after school.”

“Can I come?” Belemina asked.

I frowned at her.

“No.”

She pouted and turned toward Lucas as he closed the door.

For the remainder of class, Eugene called attention to himself by asking every question imaginable. He’d insulted or annoyed at least half the class by the time the bell rang.

“I better walk you to your next class,” I said, standing.

As soon as I did, his gaze swept down my length.

“Wow. You look really nice today.”

While I knew he meant his words as a sincere compliment, my hunger took them as an invitation. My vision sharpened, and I quickly looked at the floor while trying my best not to notice how amazing Eugene smelled.

“It’s safer if you don’t compliment anyone here. And by here, I mean the Academy and Uttira. We all have different natural lures to pull humans in. Appearances, our voices, scents…you name it, and one of us can probably do it.”

“Sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it.”

“I know. How about you lead the way to your class, and I’ll follow you. Remember, eyes on the floor.”

“How am I going to know where I’m going?”

“Just do your best. If you’re late to class, the teachers won’t yell at you. They won’t look for you either. So try not to be late.”

“You’re making me nervous.”

“Don’t be nervous. That’s a smell too many people here will like. Be cautious. It’ll keep you alive.”

I didn’t look up until he turned toward the door. When I did, my gaze caught on how his jeans clung to his backside. The hunger gripped me harder, and for a fraction of a second, I hesitated to follow him. But, there were too many like Belemina in the hallway to let him go alone.

Hurrying to catch up, I started for the door and noticed Lucas watching me. He nodded at me but said nothing. He didn’t need to. I knew he’d witnessed the change in my eyes, and Adira would know about all of this before the day was done.

Stupid hunger.

Out in the hallway, I kept my head down and trailed Eugene. The catcalls grated at me as did the comments. But, at least I was keeping most of the other students from focusing on Eugene.

I glanced up at the room numbers to see if we were getting close.

“Looks like someone put on her big-girl pants,” Eras said from nearby.

I blushed and refused to acknowledge the incubus who’d caused Megan so much trouble.

“She doesn’t just have her hot pants on,” another incubus said. “She’s got her feed on. That human doesn’t stand a chance. My eyes have never gotten that black. Have yours?”

Heat and panic flooded me. My eyes weren’t normal? Adira had told me that all succubi and incubi’s eyes turn black. Had she lied to me?

I quickly averted my gaze again and nudged Eugene to walk faster.

As soon as he was safely in his class, I hurried to the nearest restroom, needing a mirror. Staring at myself, I looked at the black voids that were my eyes. It wasn’t just the irises; it was the whites, too. They’d done this since the moment I hit puberty, though. How else were they supposed to look? I thought back to all of my peers who were like me and realized I’d never once witnessed another succubus’s or incubus’s eyes change. Was this not normal? What was wrong with me? Why was I the only one getting hit right between the eyes with the horny hunger stick?

“You’re pretty today, little bit.”

For a change, I didn’t startle at the unexpected sound of someone else’s voice. It might have been because of the smooth, low rumble in Emory’s tone. More likely, it was because I knew the gentle giant who’d once almost face flicked Megan.

Smiling at the memory, I watched some of the black fade and looked up at Emory.

“Thank you,” I said before realizing the wrongness of our conversation.

I looked around the bathroom and spotted all the urinals of varying height.

“Mother Mary’s biscuits,” I muttered.

Turning for the door, I face-planted into a spectacularly muscled chest that smelled like Grandma’s spice cake. My mouth watered, and I breathed in deeper without thinking.

“It’s best to avoid the blue biscuits if you’re hungry, right, Emory?” Fenris said, his hands steadying me.

I jerked back from his chest and stared up at him with wide-eyed shock. Of all the people I would run into, why him?

He smiled down at me.

“Not that I’m complaining about bumping into you, but what’s a girl like you doing in a place like this?”