The Howl

Fighting tears, I drove away from my best friend’s house.

Megan going to New York for a few weeks shouldn’t have been grounds for a torrential sobfest. But, Megan wasn’t just a friend. She was my only friend. The only person who never judged me because of what I was or my hunger.

Even as I thought of it, the need to feed rose sharp and heavy. Wiping away the tears tracking down my cheeks, I glanced in my rearview mirror and cringed at the sight of my blackening irises.

“You are not hungry, Eliana Magdalene Margarete Howland. You are not a Barchim.”

Instead of making me feel better, using my mother’s last name as a reminder of why I needed to fight my hunger only made me sadder. And that additional sorrow only made me hungrier, which turned my eyes completely black.

I switched on the radio to a deafening level and sang along with the music, glad the magical barrier that encircled Uttira and the surrounding countryside didn’t keep the station out.

My hunger hadn’t completely faded by the time I pulled into the oversized garage attached to the Quills’ house. While I knew I’d need to give in and feed eventually, I was determined to put it off for as long as possible.

If only Megan were still here. Her anger did nothing to nourish me, but at least it felt like feeding and tricked my body for a little while.

I smoothed a hand over my blonde hair and checked my eyes in the mirror to ensure they were once again a mellow brown. Not noting any redness from my recent tears, I got out of the car and grabbed the cooler I’d taken from Megan’s house.

When I entered the kitchen, Mrs. Quill looked up from her cup of coffee. Her gaze swept over me before landing on the cooler in my arms. Despite my petite size, the jam-packed container didn’t burden me. Extra physical strength was one of the few traits I didn’t mind inheriting from my mom.

I set the cooler by the fridge and started unpacking the food.

“What’s all that?” she asked.

“All the perishables from Megan’s place since she will be gone a while.”

“That was nice of you to help her. Did she and Oanen get off okay this morning?”

I wanted to groan at her wording when my mind went south. Why did I always have to think dirty thoughts? Why couldn’t I just think normal thoughts like normal teens?

“Yes, they’re on their way to New York.”

“Do you think she’ll ever forgive us?” Mrs. Quill asked.

I shrugged and stuck the lettuce in the crisper. It was an honest, noncommittal answer. After the bullcrap the Council had pulled, Megan had every right to hold a grudge. The Council needed to stop meddling in the lives of the youth stuck in Uttira.

“Are you hungry, Eliana?” Mrs. Quill asked, pulling me from my thoughts.

I realized I was just standing there and quickly reached for the bread.

“A sandwich does sound like it would hit the spot. Would you like me to make you one, too? There are plenty of options with what I brought over from Megan’s.”

“You know that’s not what I meant. You can’t survive on human food.”

“Who said I’m trying to survive on it? I like the taste. Mom eats it all the time.” Usually at high class restaurants paid for by her adoring harem of men, but I pushed that thought aside and focused on the food in front of me.

“Look at me, Eliana,” Mrs. Quill said.

Don’t be black…Don’t be black, I chanted to myself as I lifted my gaze.

The woman who’d raised me for the last four years smiled at me kindly.

“You know you only need to ask, and I will gladly feed you.”

It took everything I had not to vehemently shake my head.

“I know,” I said. “Right now, all I want is a sandwich.”

“Very well.”

She didn’t leave the room, but instead watched me closely as I made my early lunch. Likely, she wasn’t fooled. She rarely was, which made my life that much more difficult.

“I think I’m going to eat this while I watch some TV,” I said, picking up the plate.

“Enjoy, sweetie. I’ll call you when dinner is ready.”

I nodded and fled.

Upstairs, the room connecting my bedroom to Oanen’s had everything we could possibly want for entertainment. From gaming consoles to high-quality screens, comfortable couches, and our own refrigerator, the room was meant to be a teen’s oasis. And it had been with Oanen here. Now that he was gone, it just seemed empty.

Oanen had been one of the best parts of my time in Uttira until Megan showed up months ago. He was the best almost brother I’d ever had.

Catching myself in a downward emotional spiral, I went to the snack fridge and grabbed a dark chocolate candy bar. The bitter tang of the chocolate distracted me from everything but the flavor I so loved. I didn’t need to eat food, not like humans did, but chocolate was one thing I thoroughly enjoyed despite the pointlessness of eating it. Bake it. Freeze it. Melt it. It didn’t matter what form the chocolate came in. There was something about it that helped keep my real hunger at bay, which was why I kept an impressive stockpile of it hidden in the snack refrigerator.

Content for the moment, I plopped on the couch and tucked the rest of the chocolate into my sandwich so Mrs. Quill wouldn’t see it if she came in to check on me. She’d know right away what was going on if she saw the chocolate. And the last thing I wanted was to worry her, because if she was worried, then she would tell her sister, Adira. Not only was Adira a member of the Council, she was also Girderon Academy’s Student Coordinator. If she got involved, I’d be wearing far too little to school tomorrow.

I took another bite of chocolate and turned on the TV to watch an action flick. The bloodier, the better, given my current mood.

An hour later, I was feeling a bit more in control and absently reached for my phone when it buzzed.

Fenris: First security sweep done. Megan’s car is still here and unmaimed.

I rolled my eyes as I typed back a quick message.

Me: They just left. Of course her car is still fine.

Fenris had been inadvertently making my life impossible for months now. It wasn’t his fault he smelled like lust all the time, a scent no succubus could seem to ignore. His hormones were due to his wolf genes.

Instead of thinking of genetics, my mind went to his jeans. The dark pair that rode low on his hips and loose on his legs. Oh, the things they did to his backside…

My vision sharpened immediately, and I knew my eyes had gone black.

Using the remote, I turned on some really loud party music in an attempt to corral my thoughts. But, my phone vibrated in my hand to let me know Fenris had replied.

Fenris: It doesn’t hurt to be cautious. How’s your car?

My insides went hot then cold at the idea of Fenris coming here.

Me: My car is fine. Go home, Fenris.

I threw my phone onto the cushion next to me and got up to dance like I was in a dance-off for the next thirty minutes. By the time I stopped, I was tired and sweaty.

I hated that I wasn’t a normal teen. Why did I always need to think about sex and being touched? About being liked by a boy? No, not liked, worshipped. I thought of how my father worshipped my mother, and every ounce of succubus hunger left me.

Calmer, I went to my room for a quick shower then stood inside my closet in indecision.

Adira had given me strict orders that I was to pick clothes from the right side of the closet. Reaching out, I trailed my fingers over one of the many dresses on that side. Low neckline, thigh-high slit, silky material, the dress was what a normal succubus would use to incite lust in those around her.

All of the clothes to the right were beautiful beyond a doubt, and I loved wearing them. But only in the privacy of my own room. Never in public. A shudder ran through me at the thought of what would happen if I wore those dresses in public like Adira wanted.

Taking a deep breath, I tried to find a compromise. I understood that the adults in my life were worried that my instincts weren’t developing appropriately. And their concern was the only reason I was even attempting to meet them halfway with my wardrobe. Well, their concern and my fear that they’d involve my mother if they got too worried.

After selecting a dress that Adira would approve of, I found a lacy bralette and a pair of knee-length biker shorts to wear underneath it. Then, I chose a cute pair of flats that didn’t at all go with the gorgeous, shimmery number I’d picked. Spiked heels with thin straps would have set off the length of my legs the best, but setting off any body part was the last thing I wanted to do.

With my cleavage safely hidden by the bralette and the thigh slit thwarted by my shorts, I felt marginally ready for dinner.

Too bad I still had hours to kill.

I debated what to do with my time. I loved the greenhouse on the roof, but it would only make me miss Megan and Oanen more. And, I’d already spent enough time watching movies.

Leaving my room, I took the back stairs out to the gardens instead. The brisk winter wind robbed my arms of any heat the moment I stepped outside. I rubbed a hand over my skin and followed the snow-covered path to the bench in the center of the garden.

I stood there and looked out over the dormant grounds. It was beautiful in summer. Green and lush. Filled with singing birds and other small creatures that made noise. Now, it was silent. Silent and lonely.

Like I’d been before Megan.

Hugging myself, I thought of my life in Uttira and wondered if I would ever be able to go back to the isolation I’d found so comforting before Megan’s arrival. I doubted it.

While I knew her and Oanen’s stay in New York was only meant to be for a few weeks, I also knew Megan well enough to understand she’d never be happy spending all of her time in Uttira. Especially given her history with the Council and Adira.

That meant I either needed to make more friends or figure out a way to leave Uttira and join Megan. I wrinkled my nose at the latter. There was only one way out, and I was nowhere near getting my mark of Mantirum. Yet, making friends seemed just as impossible as earning my mark.

Deciding to delay worrying over friendships, I went back inside to wait for dinner in the entertainment room. With a small stash of dark chocolate truffles in my lap, I lost myself to three hours of visual carnage before the faint chime of the doorbell disturbed my peace.

I frowned at the time and stood to check myself in the mirror. Hopefully Adira would find my compromise suitable and leave the left side of my closet alone.

The low murmur of voices reached my ears as soon as I arrived at the top of the steps. None of them sounded like Adira, who usually joined us for dinner. Curious, I descended and went to the dining room.

Mrs. Quill was greeting our dinner guest with a gracious welcome when I entered, and the familiar back of a black head of hair slowed my steps.

“Thank you so much for inviting me, Mrs. Quill. Your house is beautiful,” Eugene said.

Mrs. Quill opened her mouth to reply, but I interrupted her.

“Why is he here?” I asked.

The sick feeling in my stomach grew as Eugene turned to look at me with a smile. As the newest human in Uttira, he didn’t know to be wary.

“Hey, Eliana.”

Ignoring him, I continued to stare at Mrs. Quill.

“He’s here because I invited him. With Megan and Oanen gone, I thought you might like company your own age at dinner.”

We both knew that wasn’t what this was. Her next words proved it.

“I’ll let you two talk while I let Mr. Quill know dinner is ready.”

Instead of getting angry, another dangerous emotion for me, I looked at Eugene as she left the room.

“I’m sorry if I sounded rude. Very little is as it seems in Uttira.”

“Even here?”

“Especially here.”

He nodded thoughtfully and seemed to notice my dress for the first time. I hated the look of appreciation that crept into his gaze until his hand smoothed down his own shirt.

“I’m feeling really underdressed right now.”

The button-up shirt was neatly pressed and complemented the dark jeans he wore. I knew these clothes were a vast improvement over what he’d been wearing when he’d arrived in Uttira. After all, I’d helped select his wardrobe.

“What you’re wearing is completely suitable for a family dinner. My dress is a prop I’m required to wear for dinner.”

“Required? If I were a girl, I’d want to wear that all the time. You look killer in it.”

His simple words, meant to be high praise, hurt deeply.

“I’d much rather just be me than a killer anything,” I said.

Some of the humor left his gaze.

“Right. Sorry. I forgot for a minute.”

“Then I guess it’s a good thing you’re here. I’ll keep reminding you. Nothing is safe here, Eugene. We may look human, but we’re not. That’s something you have to remind yourself of constantly.”

He looked around the room uncomfortably.

“I can’t believe you grew up here.”

“I didn’t. The Quills took me in when I was twelve.”

“They aren’t your parents?”

“No. My mother is currently living in New York, and my human father is in Arkansas, far away from this place.”

He watched me for a moment, probably thinking I was going to continue with an explanation of why I wasn’t living with my parents. However, since I knew why Mrs. Quill had invited him tonight, even if he didn’t, I didn’t want to encourage any kind of bonding between us.

“I get that you’re all scary monsters who want to feed on humans in some way,” he said when I remained quiet. “But that doesn’t scare me nearly as much as ending up back on the streets does.” His gaze went to the crystal wine glasses and actual gold utensils placed on the table. “This place looks so…”

“Ostentatious?”

“I don’t even know what that word means, but sure.”

“It means flashy and over-the-top.”

“Yep. Ostentatious. You’re lucky people with money took you in.”

Mr. and Mrs. Quill took that moment to enter.

“I believe Eliana called it a perverse way to flaunt one’s money when she first came to live with us,” Mr. Quill said.

“There was a lead up to that statement,” I said with a rueful smile. “And I’ve since realized the error in my thinking.”

Mrs. Quill chuckled and gestured to the table.

“Dinner is ready. Eugene, you may take the seat beside Eliana,” she said, not even glancing at the empty setting across from us. That could only mean that Adira meant to join us.

As soon as we were seated, Mrs. Quill started serving, using her magic to move whatever she’d cooked in the kitchen to our plates. Eugene was suitably impressed and asked questions until he took his first bite of her beef wellington, a favorite dish of Mr. Quill’s.

“I’ve died and gone to Heaven,” Eugene said.

“I hear Valhalla is the place you want to go for riches and endless feasting,” Adira said, suddenly appearing in her seat. “How are you enjoying Uttira so far, Eugene?”

He set down the fork which had frozen halfway to his mouth at her abrupt appearance.

“It’s great. Thank you for bringing me here.”

“Of course. How do you like attending Girderon Academy?”

“I love it.”

“Are you certain? It’s never too late to go back to your old life.”

“It is for me,” he said. “There’s nothing for me to go back to.”

Something about her line of questioning and the way she was studying him made me suspicious.

“Good,” she said. “Then I think it’s time for you to take Eliana for a walk. She’s hungry.”

My mouth dropped open as did Eugene’s. He looked from me to Adira and back again.

“I thought the goal was to not be eaten by anyone here,” he said.

“Correct. However, Eliana won’t consume you physically. She’s not that type of creature. She consumes energy, but not enough to harm you.”

“Oh.”

I could feel his eyes on me again, but I didn’t look away from Adira.

“No,” I said firmly.

“Yes,” Adira said. “You’re hungry and need to feed. Your continued denial of your nature will not change who you are or what you need to do.”

I fought against the panic worming its way under my skin.

“You can’t force me to feed.”

“Can’t I? You will feed on Eugene, or he goes back to the human world tonight.”

Eugene swore under his breath and fully turned toward me.

“Hey, I really don’t mind, Eliana. Just do what you got to do. As long as it won’t kill me, I’m fine with it.”

His naivety reminded me of Megan. Instead of giving in to panic, I set my napkin on the table and smiled at Adira. Her normally bland expression flickered with a hint of surprise.

“Do you think I’m joking?” she asked.

“No. I think you’re entirely serious. But, I also think you’re forgetting something very important. Megan warned you what would happen if you continued to mistreat the humans in Uttira. And I promise you that if you return Eugene to the human world as a means to coerce me, Megan will turn the full wrath of her fury on you. Choose your blackmail wisely, Adira, because Megan still hasn’t forgotten how all of you manipulated her.”

Mrs. Quill paled at the reminder, and I felt a fair amount of guilt for it. However, I refused to back down.

“So be it,” Adira said. “Remember you made this choice, Eliana. I am not giving up on you.”

With those ominous words, she disappeared. I had no doubt Adira would attempt to make me regret my choice not to feed from Eugene. Even after all these years, she still didn’t understand my aversion to feeding. Yet, I would never regret my choice tonight.

“Mrs. Quill, will you please wrap Eugene’s dinner so he can enjoy it at home?”

“Of course.”

With a wave of her hand, his food left his plate and a white paper bag containing his dinner appeared. I grabbed the bag and stood.

“I’ll follow Eugene home. Don’t wait up for me.”

Eugene stood quickly and followed me out of the room. Neither of us spoke as we left the house and walked toward the car in the driveway.

“You don’t need to follow me home,” Eugene said. “I’ll be fine.”

I wrinkled my nose at him.

“They almost fed you to me, and you were willing. You’re not fine, Eugene. You’re in over your head. Get in the car, and lock your door. The car’s warded and will keep you safe unless something tricks you into getting out of it. I’ll follow you home to make sure that doesn’t happen. And next time, be sure to decline any dinner invitations that will keep you out after dark.”

“Okay.” He started to get in then hesitated. “I really hope you’re going to explain what just happened in there.”

“I will, but not tonight. Tomorrow, okay? I’m freezing.” I really was cold, but mostly I just didn’t want to talk about how I’d likely just made my situation worse in some new and unimaginable way.

As soon as he locked his car door, I picked up my skirt and jogged to my car, grateful I’d gone with the flats. The ride to Eugene’s house was uneventful, and I waited in his driveway until he waved to me from his kitchen window.

With Uttira’s newest human relatively safe, I turned my car around and drove back home. Despite my comment to the Quills about not waiting up, there wasn’t anywhere else in town for me to go. Hanging out with Eugene was definitely not an option. As much as I would like to think he would be safe with me, I couldn’t trust myself when I was this hungry. I wasn’t willing to risk him just to avoid Adira and the Quills.

However, I cringed at the thought of facing Mrs. Quill so soon after reminding her and Mr. Quill that the mate of their only son probably never wanted to see them again. It’d been a poopy move on my part, but Adira had left me little choice. I would not feed on humans. Ever. If I had a choice, I wouldn’t even feed on Mrs. Quill.

Hating my line of thinking, I turned on the radio and sang along to some music. By the time I pulled up to the garage, it was only half past six, and every light was still on in the house. I debated what to do as I turned off the engine. There really wasn’t much of a choice; I’d need to sneak into the house.

In the quiet, the snow crunched loudly under my flats as I walked around to the back gardens. The long line of privacy hedges posed a slight problem as I wedged my way through their barren branches. But every scrape I received was worth it to avoid the disappointment I was sure I’d see in Mrs. Quill’s eyes if I walked in through the front door.

Picking twigs from my hair, I scanned the darkness for the path to the house. I could just walk forward until the security lights turned on, but I knew there were rose bushes somewhere close by. I didn’t want to damage my dress any more than I already had.

A low growl rumbled from the other side of the hedgerow. I slowly turned.

My mom told me over and over that all the monsters in Uttira had nothing over a succubus. But, she was biased, and I’d seen enough during my four years here to make my hair white. Whatever was on the other side of that bush sounded as mean as heck.

“Go find someone else to bother,” I said bravely while retreating a step.

There was a rustling then –

“Eliana?”

“Fenris? What are you doing here? I told you my car is fine. Go home.”

I took another step back and started breathing through my mouth, hoping it would be enough to save me.

“I’m not here because of the car. Why do I smell your blood?”

The branches started to crackle, and I realized Fenris was probably very naked on the other side of the hedge since clothes didn’t shift. In my panic at the thought of him pushing his way through to me, I inhaled through my nose.

The scent of his lust hit me hard, and my vision sharpened on his hand as he reached through the hedge. My gaze locked on his strong fingers, and I shivered. I could feel them on my skin. One thought, one command, and he would be mine.

I whirled and ran for the house.

Fenris called my name, and just as the door slammed shut behind me, a howl rose.